A/N Sorry it took me a little longer to update. RL has been a bitch with making me work long hours and getting up way too early for my liking. Also, the week I had intended to update was extra crazy due to our national holiday and my birthday, so I had even less time to devote to my writing. I hope the chapter was worth the wait…

Thanks to my WC peeps for the motivation and bouncing off ideas, and thanks to Rebecca (missrebecca_12) for beta'ing this for me.

36. Like a virgin

I couldn't believe this was really happening.

I had told Bella all about my past, what I had done, but more importantly, why I had done it. And she hadn't run away screaming. Instead, she had comforted me and listened, being there for me, letting me vent, holding me, letting me hold onto her.

More even, she loved me. She actually told me she loved me.

Bella Swan loved me back!

What a turn of events.

I had feared that my outburst and sulking would have driven her away. It should have. Who would want to put up with that? A grown man, crying over his long dead mother and lashing out to the people who care about him. Fleeing in reckless and promiscuous behavior – granted, that was now in the past, but still. Just about snapping at the one person he finally let in, letting his guard down…

But no, she stayed. She stayed, and showed me, in both her words and her actions, that she wasn't going anywhere. She was right there with me, caring for me.

Loving me.

I was astounded.

And as our kisses grew ever more heated, I became increasingly turned on and burning for her. I needed her; I wanted to show her just how much I loved her and what she was giving me.

I knew she was ready. She had told me so before, and it had almost happened on several occasions over the past two weeks. But even though we both knew this, it was still her first time, our first time, and I wanted to make it worthwhile.

I would show her how much I cherished her, worshiped her, loved her…

Holding her close to me, I leaned back until I was flat on my back, with Bella on top of me, never breaking the kiss. Her hands moved down from my hair to the collar of my shirt where she started loosening my tie and unfastening the buttons. I flipped us over so she was lying down, then swiftly removed my shirt and tie and tossed them, along with her boots, across the room. After peeling off her jeweled tights, I made my way back up her body, kissing every inch of skin along the way and flicking her belly ring with my tongue.

'Say it again,' I pleaded against her lips.

She took my head in her hands and pushed me back a little, looking intently into my eyes.

'Edward Cullen, I love you,' she said deliberately. 'So much.'

Matching grins broke out on both our faces and we kissed slowly, just reveling in the emotion. After a few minutes, Bella pulled me down toward her and started to grind her hips against mine, moaning softly in between kisses. There was an urgency in the way she was moving against me. Before long we were both panting. Bella hooked her legs around mine, anchoring me to her, and fumbled with my button fly while I freed her breasts from her bra cups and massaged them in my hands. I paid special attention to her nipples with both my fingers and my mouth. She responded immediately, arching her back, pushing her soft peaks closer to my face. When she had managed to unbutton my fly, she actually used her feet to push down my jeans.

Impressive. And coy.

Her boldness further encouraged me and I unclasped her bra, tossing it away. It was a beautiful piece of lingerie, and probably pretty expensive – I had overheardAlicetalking about buying some for Bella and she didn't settle for generic – but at the moment, it was obscuring Bella's body from my view and that just wouldn't do. I kicked my jeans all the way off and was about to make quick work of her panties, when I realized my door wasn't locked and angry music was still coming out of my speakers.

Bella looked confused as I pulled away and got up off the bed, but before she could ask any questions, I explained.

'I'm just going to make sure we're not interrupted, love.'

Quickly, I locked the door, then changed the music to a more romantic playlist. Yes, I had a playlist filled with love songs, inspired by and dedicated to Bella, so sue me. She may have been the virgin here, but this was as much a first for me, too. I had never been with someone I loved. I had never made love before. To say I was a little nervous would be an understatement.

I was gathering a couple of condoms from my dresser and turned back around towards Bella, when the first song came on, very accurately describing my feelings. I locked eyes with her, hoping the meaning of the lyrics wasn't lost on her.

I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy

I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need

I'll love you more with every breath

Truly, madly, deeply…

I would be whatever she needed me to be, just as she was everything I would ever need.

She sat up on her knees near the edge of the bed, reaching for me. Her pale skin stood out next to my black sheets. She was so beautiful… She looked at me with such love and trust in her eyes; I actually had to swallow the lump that was growing in my throat.

Between her lips bites, testifying to her innocence and vulnerability, the lust permeating the air and her tiny panties, I was spurred on and couldn't get back to her side fast enough. She pulled me to her and settled back again, while I stretched out across the bed, hastily dropping the condoms to the floor and careful to keep my weight off her. But apparently she wanted to feel me against her, because she wrapped her arms around my neck and hooked her left leg over my hip, while she deepened our kiss. I trailed my arm up her leg until I felt the edge of her panties. I pulled them slowly down, ridding her of her last piece of clothing.

Bella was in a little bit more of a hurry to get me naked, though, because she didn't even give me time to discard her underwear before she grabbed the waistband of my boxers, yanked them down and took a firm hold of me. I settled my legs between hers and felt the evidence of her arousal on my thigh.

Damn, those panties must have been soaked!

I got lost in kissing her again and the feel of her soft body under me. We kissed for a while longer, but when we both started to move our hips against each other, desperate for friction, and I feared I might slip inside, I pulled back and reached for a condom. Somehow, I was incredibly nervous, like I was fifteen again, like I was the virgin, and I struggled with the foil wrapper. Bella smiled and took it out of my hands with a sweet kiss, quickly tearing the packaging and extracting the condom, which she then handed back to me.

'I've only ever tried once, in Health Class, so…' she shrugged apologetically.

The comment reminded me of when I had Sex Ed in Health; when instructed to roll the condom onto the dummy, Jasper had scoffed and volunteered to be the dummy himself. Poor Mr. Banner had barely managed to stop him before he whipped it out.

I suppressed a chuckle, mentally berating myself.

This is no time to be thinking about your best friend and pseudo-brother!

'What?' Bella asked.

Apparently, I hadn't suppressed it entirely.

'Nothing, love, just a silly memory. I'll tell you some other time,' I said.

But then I realized she might not take it the way I intended. I mean, there's nothing worse than exposing yourself completely and then for the other person to start laughing – especially when they're more experienced. So I hurried to elaborate.

'It's just, what you said about Health Class… it reminded me of something that happened when I was in high school. It was funny but inappropriate. Honestly.'

'Oh, okay,' she responded.

I ended that particular conversation then by passionately kissing her, and sheathed myself in the uncomfortable latex.

Leaning on my left arm, I cupped her face in my right hand.

'Are you sure?' I asked her, because I wanted this to be on her terms and not because she thought she had to do it for me.

She threaded her fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck.

'I'm ready, Edward.'

She pulled me to her and kissed me again, slipping her left arm around to my back. I gripped my cock in my left hand and positioned myself at her entrance.

'Please tell me if it hurts,' I implored.

The last thing I wanted was for her to be in pain. Bella nodded and bit her lip as I slowly pushed forward.

Oh fuck! She felt so good! Hot and tight and soft and Bella…

I tried to keep my eyes locked with hers, I really did, but I was afraid I would come instantly if I kept looking at her, with all the sensations already washing over me. When my hips were flush with hers and I was all the way in, I exhaled, only realizing then that I had been holding my breath, and opened my eyes to find Bella looking at me wide-eyed and breathing heavily. Time seemed to slow down as we looked at each other and I felt her all around me, all-consuming. At some point I heard the music change to a new song.

You could be my unintended

Choice to live my life extended

You could be the one I'll always love

Not only could she be that one, she was that one.

Finally, I found my voice again.

'Are you okay?' I asked.

'Uhuh,' she answered, and squeezed her thighs around my waist in an attempt to move.

Although I was glad I hadn't hurt her – yet – I was hesitant to start moving, not quite trusting myself that I wouldn't move too fast or be too rough with her in my excitement.

'Edward, I'm fine,' Bella pleaded. 'But I need you to move. You feel so good already,' she moaned. 'Please, give me more.'

That was all the confirmation I needed, and I slowly extracted my cock from her body, until only the tip was left inside of her. When I pushed back in again, I had to fight to keep my eyes from crossing. The feeling was exquisite.

When I was assured that Bella wasn't uncomfortable or in pain, I wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her close, then trailed my hand down to grip her perfect ass, slightly changing the angle at which I was entering her. I went deeper this way and she arched her back in response. As the speed of my thrusts increased I felt my orgasm rapidly approaching, but Bella wouldn't let me slow down to prolong the experience as she matched the rhythm of my hips with her own. I tried to keep our gazes locked for as long as possible, but eventually it was all too much for me to take and I dropped my head onto her shoulder, burying my face into her hair, hearing her pants and soft moans in my ear, which only served to urge me on. It only took a few more thrusts before I couldn't hold on anymore and let go, squeezing her to me tightly and released with a shudder, moaning her name.

I stayed like that until my heartbeat started to slow down a little, then pulled out and rolled over onto my side, taking Bella with me. I wasn't letting go of her, needed to feel her skin against mine. She looked up at me, a lazy smile gracing her angelic features. I cupped her chin and leaned down to kiss her. I loved holding her close to me like that, knowing she trusted me, loved me, and wanted me as much as I wanted her.

'I love you,' I whispered against her lips.

'I love you, too,' she answered.

As much as I longed to stay in bed with her until at least morning, I needed to get rid of the condom. Bella protested a little when I got up, but I promised I wouldn't be long.

'Okay. I'll just go get my stuff fromAlice's room, then,' she said.

She got up from the bed, picked my shirt off the floor and pulled it on. Seeing her in my shirt brought back memories of the night we met. The sight had been an incredible turn-on even back then, when she had just been a cute girl I had helped out. Then more recently, her wearing my old jersey… My name across her back - knowing she liked showing that off - it really stirred something deep down inside of me, bordering on possessiveness. But now that the context had changed, and she wasn't wearing anything underneath, with the sex hair to prove it… that was even more amazing. I closed a few of the buttons for her. Thankfully, the shirt was long enough that she was sufficiently covered.

'Hurry back to me,' I said as she walked out the door.

After I had cleaned myself up, I put my underwear back on and sat down on my bed to wait for Bella. When she hadn't come back after ten minutes – which felt like hours – I started to get a little anxious, worrying thatAlicemight have persuaded her to sleep in her room.

'Who is it?' Alice sang as I knocked on her door.

'It's Edward. Can you open the door?'

I was met with the very amused face of my sister.

'Impatient much, brother dear?' she teased.

'Is Bella here?' I asked, not even bothering to answer her.

Of course I was impatient for Bella to return to my room! She of all people should understand my need to be with her now.

'Relax, Edward,' she laughed. 'I'm just messing with you a little. She's right here. Sorry I kept her so long, but we needed to talk for a bit.'

'That's just awesome, Ali, but if you don't mind, I'm taking my girlfriend back to my room now,' I said as I stalked across the room toward Bella, who had just picked up her overnight bag and a garment bag.

I didn't even wait for her to follow me out of the room; instead I picked her up and threw her over my shoulder, causing her to shriek and giggle, and rushed us back to my room, where I plopped her down onto my bed. I put her two bags onto my couch, quickly locked the door again and joined Bella in bed. She was still laughing at my antics and I relished this carefree mood. I ghosted feather light kisses across her skin, before she pulled my mouth to hers.

I fell asleep with my face buried in her neck, holding her tightly, as she ran her hand through my hair and caressed the arm I had around her.