Sera's POV
The guys left me to myself like they promised. I got dressed, brushed my hair, and began to feel human again. Wanda was waiting by the bed where she usually sat, a bowl of soup in her hands. I sat next to her, and slowly had a few spoonfuls. She didn't speak, but I could tell she was overjoyed that I was eating.
She offered her arm, and I knew she wanted us to get out of the apartment. Sighing, I got up and took her arm, her leading us out of the bedroom and towards the stairs. I had to hold onto her and the railing tightly on the way down, as my legs weren't quite back to full strength.
"I thought I could show you what I've been practicing," She said with a small smile as we entered the studio. I gazed longingly at my shoes in the corner and gave her a nod in reply.
"Wanda, we need you for a second." I heard a voice say in her ear.
"Coming," She said, tapping her comm, before turning and saying, "I'll be right back."
She dashed out of the room, and I stood there gazing at the floor. A minute ticked by, and then another. I stood there for about ten minutes before I moved forward. Carefully bending over, I picked up my shoes, stroking the soles and sighing. My music was still in the system, so I turned it on, cued up a song, and changed shoes.
Moving to the middle of the room, I took a deep breath. I started small in my movements, testing out my muscles for the first time in weeks.
Long steady road
Oh travel, be kind
I'm searching for some peace of mind
The home that you know
A home left behind
Oh trouble, don't trouble this time.
And baby don't look back,
Odds don't stack
They just crumble down around you.
Oh, you gotta go away if you wanna come back
I won't crack I can't make a sound without you.
My movements became a little more fluid, dancing from my heart and its anguish. Twisting and turning, moving slow, and picking up speed with each line.
And even if it sounds crazy darling I won't let you go
And even if it don't stop raining darling I won't let you go
And even if the world's burning darling I won't let you go
Even if it sounds crazy darling I won't let you go.
My movements got smaller, scared someone would walk in and see I was crying.
Know your way down your music, your town
You never are walking alone
A storm that won't wait, a heart that won't break
Your mountains ain't made out of stone.
So baby don't look back odds don't stack
They just crumble down around you
Oh you gotta go away if you wanna come back
I won't crack I can't make a sound without you.
I felt my heart break with every word, but every step gave me life.
And even if it sounds crazy darling I won't let you go
And even if it don't ever stop raining darling I won't let you go
And even if the world's burning darling I won't let you go
Even if it sounds crazy, darling.
So Baby don't look back,
Odds don't stack they just crumble down, around you.
Oh you gotta go away, if you wanna come back
I won't crack I can't make a sound without you
And even if it sounds crazy darling I won't let you go
And even if it don't ever stop raining darling I won't let you go
And even if the world's burning darling I won't let you go
Even if it sounds crazy, darling I won't let
You go
No I can't, No I never will, never ever would, No I never could let you go
No I just can't, No I never will, never ever would, No I never could let you go
[x3]
Stopping in child's pose, I kept breathing. The song changed quietly, and I sighed. Moving again, I
Hello, it's me
I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet
To go over everything
They say that time's supposed to heal ya
But I ain't done much healing
Hello, can you hear me
I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be
When we were younger and free
I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet
There's such a difference between us
And a million miles
Hello from the other side
I must have called a thousand times
To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done
But when I call you never seem to be home
Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I've tried
To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart
But it don't matter it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore
Hello, how are you
It's so typical of me to talk about myself I'm sorry
I hope that you're well
Did you ever make it out of that town where nothing ever happened
It's no secret that the both of us
Are running out of time
So hello from the other side
I must have called a thousand times
To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done
But when I call you never seem to be home
Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I've tried
To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart
But it don't matter it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore
Anymore
Hello from the other side
I must have called a thousand times
To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done
But when I call you never seem to be home
Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I've tried
To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart
But it don't matter it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore
By the end of the song, I was on the floor crying. My heart felt like it was going to explode.
"Fight Sera, fight this. I know you're strong enough." I heard my mother's voice, as the memory of her passing flashed in front of my mind.
"Momma, save your strength." I sighed, as she coughed. They were surprised she held on this long.
"Sera, promise me you will fight. Don't fall into this depression you seem to be spiraling towards. I'll be gone soon, and I need you to promise me you wont let it take you under." She wheezed.
"I promise Momma. Just please rest."
"I… think this is the end."
"Tony," She smiled, staring off into the distance, making me turn to see if someone was behind me. My confusion was overpowered by my concern, as there was no one there.
She was hallucinating.
"You came back." She cried, as I let out a quiet breath. It was the least I could do for her, to let her imagine the love of her life had come back.
"I'm sorry I lied about Sera. She's beautiful, isn't she?" She said, looking at me. I smiled tightly, knowing this was going to play out in her imagination anyways.
"At least you'll have each other, when I'm gone." She said, before coughing.
"I still love you Tony, always will." She said to herself, and I handed her a glass of water. Her eyes seemed to focus back on me, and I knew the mirage was over.
"Sera, my darling girl. Don't let them find you." She said, refusing the water.
"Who Momma?" I asked, humoring her.
"I should have told you, but I was protecting you from them, hiding you."
"Who?"
"Hydra. I am the granddaughter of Johan Schmidt. I hid you from them to protect you from their lies. No matter what the history books tell you Sera, Hydra doesn't just die when their leader does. It grows and thrives in the shadows. Trust no one with this."
"Mom, you aren't making any sense." I said, thinking how crazy it sounded. She wasn't hallucinating , but it still didn't make sense.
"You were an Heir. Part of the reason I left your father was because they were on my tail. I had to protect you, shield you from their lies and beliefs. You are so much more than who you are now. You'll see Sera, you were meant for something greater. I believe you can destroy them once and for all."
Her coughing got worse, and her breathing became labored. I gave her the oxygen mask and it got better.
"My sweet girl," She smiled, "I love you until the mountains tumble down."
She was gone before I could reply, "I love you too Momma."
Hitting my fist against the floor, I looked into the mirrored wall in front of me, and said, "I'm stronger than this."
Squaring my shoulders, I sang out clearly from my heart.
Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion
And all those things I didn't say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time?
This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I'm alright song
My power's turned on
Starting right now I'll be strong
I'll play my fight song
And I don't really care if nobody else believes
'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me
Losing friends and I'm chasing sleep
Everybody's worried about me
In too deep
Say I'm in too deep (in too deep)
And it's been two years
I miss my home
But there's a fire burning in my bones
Still believe
Yeah, I still believe
And all those things I didn't say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time?
This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I'm alright song
My power's turned on
Starting right now I'll be strong
I'll play my fight song
And I don't really care if nobody else believes
'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me
A lot of fight left in me
Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion
This is my fight song (Hey!)
Take back my life song (Hey!)
Prove I'm alright song (Hey!)
My power's turned on
Starting right now I'll be strong (I'll be strong)
I'll play my fight song
And I don't really care if nobody else believes
'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me
No I've still got a lot of fight left in me
I was smiling by the end, despite the tears rolling down my cheeks. Sobbing, I fell to the floor, curling into the fetal position. Rubbing soft circles on my stomach, almost comfortingly, I continued to cry.
"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you," I said, accepting the loss. I had been feeling the symptoms for only a week, but I knew it wasn't the flu.
"I'm sorry little baby. You would have been loved," I sighed. Less than a minute later, Steve burst through the door, looking murderous.
"You were…" He choked back a sob
"How did you hear?" I asked, confused.
"No wonder you didn't let us near you," Bucky said, scooping me into his arms.
"How did you…" I asked, looking around the room, before seeing a camera that wasn't there before.
"We needed to see what you would do. It was only Wanda, Sam, Nat and us watching. We hoped you would break out of this shell. We didn't think that you'd do what you did." Steve said, pulling the camera from the wall.
"That's a good piece of tech! Why did you rip it out of the wall?" I groaned, taking the camera and seeing what could be salvaged. Both looked at me incredulously, silently asking for an explanation.
"I had my suspicions, and Jean confirmed it the day I confessed." I sighed as we all huddled together on the floor.
"What Clint did, did that?" Bucky asked, fists clenching.
"He had no way of knowing."
"But you were pregnant?" Steve asked, tears forming in his eyes. Nodding, I let my head hang. Both held me, and each other, while we cried.
"I hate to interrupt," A voice said in the doorway, "But there are two little ones that want to see you. "
Wanda and Natasha put the kids down on the floor, and I looked at them for the first time in 3 weeks.
"My darlings," I sobbed, crawling out of Bucky and Steve's hold.
"Mmmam," Elijah said, smiling as he crawled over. Stopping in my tracks, Callie squealed, "Mmamma."
Dropping the camera, I scooped them both up into my lap, crying as I kissed their little faces.
"That's right, Mama." I laughed, as they giggled.
"Can you say, Dada?" I prompted as Steve and Bucky came to kneel beside us.
"Don't push your luck," Steve said, drying his eyes. Bucky pushed him playfully as the kids watched their fathers.
"Ddda," Callie smiled at Steve.
"Dddada," Elijah said, before laughing at Bucky.
"My darlings," I whispered, kissing their heads.
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go kill my best friend," Natasha said blankly.
"Nat, please don't. He already feels bad enough."
"He should." Wanda said, eyes glowing in anger.
"Both of you, calm down. I was only maybe 5 weeks along."
"You could have been 8 weeks today." Natasha said coldly.
"But I'm not. While I in now way condone abortion, I realized it was too early to even have another child. It's sad, and I've grieved. Now we move on. And if any of you, or Sam, mention this to Clint or the rest of the team, I will personally hang your butt from the flagpole outside." I threatened, standing up with the twins. Both women rolled their eyes and nodded.
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm feeling hungry." I said softly, before walking out of the studio.
"Oh thank god!" Bucky said, smacking Steve's shoulder.
"I'll make the sandwiches," Wanda said, coming to my side and taking Elijah.
"I was making some borscht this morning if anyone wants a bowl," Natasha said, linking her arm in my free one.
"Oooh, I would love some." I said, as I heard the guys talking quietly behind us. Listening as best as I could while Natasha and Wanda filled me in on current events, I watched them wording to each other as we walked.
"Remember boys, no talking." I said sternly.
"Yes ma'am," They grumbled, sharing a look of annoyance.
Songs used in this chapter were I Won't Let You Go by Hedley, Hello by Adele, and Fight Song by Rachel Platten (try to find an acapella version!).