Chapter 37: Reconnecting with Life

"I don't know, Gibbs. I guess I thought he'd look better today," Abby said. "But I think he looks worse."

Gibbs privately agreed. His heart rate was definitely down, and his face looked more empty than it had the day before. The ventilator didn't help, he decided. The nurse who had spoken with him last night told him that Tim needed help breathing now and mechanical ventilation was a necessity.

"Agent Gibbs? Sir?"

Gibbs and Abby both turned away from the bed to see Liz standing hesitantly in the doorway, her shoulders hunched. She looked ready to bolt at the first sign of danger although Gibbs was glad to see her straighten up at his glance.

"Abby, this is Elizabeth Luke, Thom's sister."

Abby looked at her for a few seconds, and then flung her arms around Liz and pulled her into a hug.

"Hi! I'm Abby!"

Liz looked terrified. "Um, hi, I'm Liz." She pulled back and looked past Abby at Tim. "This is... Tim?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to talk to him?" Abby asked eagerly.

"Will he hear me?"

"He could. There's evidence that people in comatose states have some level of awareness."

"I guess so. I don't really know what to say."

"Introduce yourself. Talk about yourself. He'll hear you." Abby gave her a little shove.

"Abby, why don't we go see Sarah? I want to talk to the doctors anyway," Gbbs said.

"Yeah, sure." She looked back at Liz who was standing still, staring at Tim, and put her arms around Liz's shoulders. "I'm glad to finally meet you."

"Thanks," Liz managed. She heard the two leave the room, leaving her alone with this stranger. She walked over and sat down in an empty chair. "Hi, I'm Liz. I think I'm your sister... sort of."

The figure didn't respond. There was no sound except for the click of the respirator and the soft blips of the heart monitor.

"You're Tim. I have to tell you that I expected to be meeting Thom Gemcity, not Tim McGee." She forced a laugh. It sounded fake even to her. "I hate hospitals. I couldn't even go visit my mom when she had to get her appendix out. I refused to go. In fact, except for third grade when I broke my arm trying to using the monkey bars as a balance beam, I don't think I've really been in a hospital more than once or twice."

She lapsed into silence again. For awhile she watched the monitors. They were so slow.

"Are you dying, Tim? I... I must have been there when our parents died, but I don't remember it. I don't want to see anyone die. I don't want you to die. You're the last of my family. I was hoping to find people, relatives, but except for you, there doesn't seem to be anyone left."

Liz looked at Tim, looked at his face as if seeing it for the first time. It looked so haggard. He looked so...alone. She felt tears start to well up in her eyes. How could she be feeling this way after knowing him for two seconds? Timidly, she reached out and took his hand.

"Tim... I don't want to lose my... my brother. But even if you weren't my brother... even if you... aren't... now, I still wouldn't want you to die."

Liz started to cry in earnest. She dropped his hand and ran out of the room.

"Liz?" Michelle saw her running down the hall. She looked into Tim's room and saw that he was still as alive as he had been and then followed her to the bathroom. She found Liz sitting on the floor, crying.

She looked up and tried to smile. "I really hate hospitals."

Michelle sat down next to her. "What happened?"

"Nothing happened. I just don't like hospitals. I never have. It's just one of those things."

"So why is it that you're sitting on the floor of a public restroom?"

She shrugged. "It's a hospital. I'm sure it's clean."

"I'm not. Come on. Stand up." As Liz stood, Michelle looked up at her. "Man, I hate being short. Now, tell me what's wrong?"

"It's just..." Liz walked to the sink and stared into the mirror. "I've always known I was adopted. Mom and Dad never hid it from me, but they never told me everything. For a long time, I was happy just knowing that they loved me and that I had a family, but I started asking more questions as I got older, and they wouldn't... or couldn't give me the answers. I was always a little afraid that there was some deep dark secret..." she laughed. "...you know, like a mystery novel, someone was killed or something like that and they saved me from... whatever. Now, I know that it was nothing like that, but... Tim's lying in there. Our parents are already dead. We're all that's left, and I looked at him and I just..." She started to cry again. "...I don't want him to die."

"Hey, don't think like that," Michelle said, pulling her into a much gentler hug than Abby's. "Think positively."

"But he looks so..."

"I know, but don't think of it that way. This is his recuperating time. Now, let's go."

"I-I don't think I can... not today." Liz looked down in shame.

"That's alright. I'll give you a ride."

Liz took a deep breath. "Okay." She followed Michelle out of the restroom.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Where's Tim?"

The soft voice startled Abby who was sitting beside Sarah's bed. After her last surgery, the doctors had confined the number of visitors at a time to one.

"Hey, welcome back," Abby said quietly.

"Where's Tim?" Sarah repeated. Her eyes were open, her heart rate had already moved up above 60 beats/minute just since she'd spoken for the first time.

"He's..." Abby hesitated, not sure if it would be a good idea to let her know that Tim was in dire straits himself.

"What, Abby? What?" Sarah took a deep breath and winced, exhaling quickly. "He'd... be here... unless something was wrong."

"Something is wrong, Sarah, but we don't know what it is."

"Then, where?"

"He's in a coma or something."

"What?!" Sarah tried to sit up, but was only able to move about an inch before she sagged back onto the bed. "How? Did Blaser...?"

"No, but... Tony said that after Blaser shot you Tim snapped."

Sarah leaned deeper into the bed and closed her eyes.

"He thought I was dead," she said finally.

"But he knew about the vest, didn't he?"

"Of course... but he also would have... known that it probably wouldn't stop those bullets."

"But..."

"He told me... before... that he couldn't stand losing anyone else." Sarah opened her eyes and stared at Abby. "He meant it."

"You mean that he's like this because he thinks you're dead too?"

"I think so... as flattering as that is... I wish I was wrong."

"I don't think you are."

"Go tell him... tell him I'm alive."

When Abby didn't stand up right away, Sarah grabbed her hand. "Please, go now."

"Okay. Okay, Sarah. I'll go." Abby retrieved her hand from Sarah's lax grip and left the ICU.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tim wasn't sure what had brought him back. In fact, he wasn't really at the level of conscious thought, and he didn't even have any idea how long he'd been gone. He had been... somewhere... somewhere else. Now, he realized that he was actually aware of some external stimuli. Unintelligible sounds washed over him, but he made no effort to decipher them. There was nothing worth coming back for. He and Thom both had lost everything that really mattered. And yet, in spite of his desire to simply fade away, he couldn't. Very slowly, things were coming back. The worst part of it was that he was feeling more and more uncomfortable the closer to consciousness he approached. He didn't seem to be in control of his body; air was forced into and out of his lungs in a rhythm that was not of his choosing, but he couldn't change it.

No! No more! He couldn't articulate the words. He was at the mercy of someone else, awaiting their pleasure. No!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was late in the evening. Visiting hours were over, but Gibbs had decided to stop in and see Tim once more before going. Sarah was awake, although no one was under any delusion that she was out of the woods yet. She tired quickly and breathing was still difficult, but the doctors were amazed that she was coherent at all. Gibbs smiled wryly to himself. It was obvious to him, and to Abby as well, that Sarah was staying alive for Tim's sake. If only they could get Tim to do the same.

As soon as he stepped into the hallway outside Tim's room, Gibbs knew there was something wrong. The agent who had been sitting outside Tim's room since he was admitted was gone. It could be nothing; no one had shown up to see either Sarah or Tim who was unknown to the agents on guard duty. Maybe Agent Miller had just let his guard down.

Gibbs drew his gun. "If he has, I'll kill him," he muttered to himself as he approached Tim's room.

Inside, a man dressed as a doctor stood at Tim's IV line with a syringe.

"Freeze! Whatever you're doing there, stop!" Gibbs said. "Hands in the air!"

The man didn't turn around, but he did put his hands up. "I'm just giving..."

"I don't care what you say you're giving him. All I know is that you're not going to. Turn around."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure that your chances of living are getting smaller with every second that you fail to follow my orders."

The man finally turned around and made eye contact.

"Now, put it down on the ground and kick it over to me." As he started to bend over, Gibbs amended, "Slowly! Keep your hands where I can see them."

As he followed Gibbs' instructions, he moved his left hand slightly toward his waistband.

"Don't do it. You'll lose," Gibbs said, lightly stopping the syringe by his foot, but never taking his eyes off his target.

"How can you be sure?" There was no menace in his tone. This was business, nothing more. It was his job.

"Because I saw it coming, and I'm a much better shot than you could possibly be."

Now, he smiled and nodded.

"Why don't you just give me that gun right now."

At first, Gibbs really thought that the man would comply, but as he pulled the gun out, he noticed a change in the tension of his arms, his gaze flicked from Gibbs' eyes just for a moment. Then, he pulled the gun out raising it, not to hand over, but to shoot; however, as Gibbs had warned him, he lost. Gibbs got off a shot before he had the gun halfway up. The gun flew from the assassin's grasp and fell to the ground clasping his left shoulder.

"I told you not to try it," Gibbs said and flipped the man onto his stomach. "Where's Agent Miller?"

"Taking a nap in the broom closet," he hissed.

"That's almost too bad. You would have got the death penalty for two attempted murders on federal agents. Now, it will be a little bit harder." Gibbs pushed the call button, but it was a redundant action. There was no silencer on his gun and the entire floor staff, along with about five security guards came running into the room only a few seconds after the situation was resolved. It was only after they had taken the man away, cleaned up the floor and Gibbs had verified the new agent guarding Tim's door that he looked again at his agent. There seemed to be no change, even after all that.

"I can't believe that this didn't affect you, McGee." Gibbs looked at the bagged syringe in his hand. "You'd better wake up soon. I don't want to have to save you again." Then, he walked out of the room, trying not to wonder if Tim would be dead tomorrow, even without someone trying to kill him.