Oh, she didn't know why she was doing this. She didn't know at what point she'd decided that this had gone from an idea to a reality, but she knew that she had to do it. She'd gone too long without knowing, too long deserving answers that never came. She couldn't figure out how he'd managed to raise Maleficent, she wanted to know how he'd done it, she wanted to know why he was working with them, she wanted to know what he was planning, she wanted to know how he felt about her, if he thought about her, if she was even a small part of the reason he'd come home…she wanted to know how she felt. She wanted to know a lot. And she knew how to get her answers.
She didn't have the dagger anymore, but she knew how to summon him, a small piece of magic he'd once told her about in another world that she'd once dismissed was now at the forefront of her mind again. If she ever needed him she only had to say his name three times and he'd be by her side in an instant. This well, this place that she'd ever only known joy, the first place that they'd kissed here in this land, the place they'd been married…it was more than a well to her and she hoped for him too.
And apparently to the people of this town as well! Lacey's knowledge of the local lore told her that this well wasn't just a well, it was magical, as he'd once said it had the ability to return what someone had lost. And that was what she was counting on, because if she could have one thing back, one thing returned to her, she knew what she wanted. She wanted her husband back. The man she'd fallen in love with, the man that she'd married in this spot, who loved her and his son above all else, the man that wanted so desperately to be more man than beast for her! Could this well do that? Could it give her more than just the answers that she felt she needed to retrieve? She took a deep breath. There was only one way to find out.
"Rumpelstiltskin," she breathed looking into its depths. "Rumpelstiltskin." Her heart was racing, her bravery was ebbing for a moment she had a thought that she couldn't do this but a voice in the back of her head told her to say it once more. So she did. "Rumpelstiltskin."
Nothing happened.
No puff of smoke, no voice, no eyes. Maybe it didn't work here like she thought. Maybe it couldn't-
No, a whisper in the back of her mind told her it would. She only needed to try again.
"Rumpelstiltskin, Rumpelstiltskin, Rumple-"
"Hello, Belle."
If her nerves were only tingling up until this point they were on fire now. Her body shook the moment that she turned to face him and found his gaze locked on hers. He was here. Back in Storybrooke, unhurt, unbroken, whole! Well. That wasn't entirely true. He looked haunted. It was that same look he'd had throughout their marriage, the one she'd assumed came from nightmares and the past. Now she knew, that look came from constantly worrying about the future. It was a product of his present, not his past. Though she wondered if he still had nightmares when he slept. If he slept at all! She wondered if he was sleeping enough without her, if he was eating, if he was taking care of himself the way she so often knew he didn't when he was on his own. That had always been her job. She was the caretaker.
"Hello," she finally managed to choke out as she realized that her own thoughts and the tears in her eyes had already given her the answer to one of her most essential questions.
One look and she already knew that she still loved him.
He looked awkward. Standing there, watching her, with nothing to say. He was just waiting. Waiting for her to begin. He looked at her like he never wanted to look away but at the same time he looked like he wished he wasn't there. Conflicted. Was this as difficult for him as it was for her? All this time…what had they done to themselves?
"This is a curios place to meet," he commented finally, his hand motioning uncomfortably as he scanned the place for barely a second before looking back at her.
Yes, it was a curios place for an uncomfortable meeting but…there was a reason for that. Reason. She'd nearly forgotten that there was a reason she was here, on this hillside, looking at him. Suddenly she was itching to get on with it, feeling as though it was the most important thing in the world when she knew that she'd be happy just to stare at him, trapped in an in between moment for as long as possible. She needed the man that he'd once been here with her now. She was hoping that being here would remind him of that man. And she was hoping it wouldn't make her forget who she was now either.
"Do you uh…do you remember what you told me here the night of our vows?" she questioned, hoping to see a flicker of recognition in his eyes. "How I chased all the darkness out of you?" There it was. That look in his eyes the same one that he'd had that night, it was still there. And then it was gone again. Concealed behind a mask she knew all too well. How she'd hoped she'd seen the last of that mask!
"Belle, look I…I'm sorry for everything-"
"No!" she interrupted shaking her head and looking up to find somehow she'd taken steps to bring herself closer to him. This was why she'd tried to stay away so long. No matter what happened they always ended up together again. But right now…she didn't want his excuses, or his apologies. She couldn't trust those anymore. All she wanted was to know why. If he wouldn't tell her, then she didn't know who else he'd tell his secrets to and she had to get those secrets, it was of utmost importance for everything to work! "No apologies today. For once in my life I just want the truth.
"Why are you here Rumple? Are you, are you trying to win me back or…?"
"It's a bit more complicated than that," he answered. She wasn't sure what she felt about that answer. It wasn't "no" but it wasn't a flat out "yes" either. And no matter if it was "yes" or "no"…she didn't know which answer she'd wanted to begin with. But complicated. What was complicated about it? That was the key. She had to know the complication! She was still trying to find the words, and the courage, to ask him about that when she saw him make a familiar gesture. No. Not a familiar gesture. He placed his hand over his chest, that she'd seen him do plenty when he was trying to make a point but this was different. It wasn't just on his chest...it was in his chest.
His heart. It had to be. She knew it worked like that but she'd never actually seen it done! Only…was that his heart? She'd read all about this and hearts, the magical copies, they were supposed to be red. But this...it was like a lump of coal, or maybe a dying ember as she saw a flicker of color but still...only a flicker. A black heart, not red! Well, that meant… "Rumple!" she breathed recalling a small sentence she'd read what felt like a lifetime ago. She knew what blackness in a heart symbolized. She'd never thought it could be this bad.
"It seems that centuries of dark deeds do take their toll." Dark deeds. Yes, that was what she'd read. Dark deeds turned the heart black but…what happened to completely black hearts? She couldn't remember if she'd ever read that in her books and suddenly she wished she had. What did this mean for him?! For the town? For them... "And all that's left of it, is this." She watched as he turned the heart over in his hand and she saw it. Oh, she'd always known that she and Neal had a special place in his heart. But she hadn't known they had literally.
One little flicker of red.
That was the small hint of color she'd seen. That was all that was left. A place for her? For Henry? For the man she loved, the man she always believed he could be. "And pretty soon…that'll be gone too."
"Well…" Gone. What did he mean "gone"? What happened if it disappeared? Had she made it worse by sending him over the town line? "Will...will you die?" The words tasted like poison. No. He couldn't. He couldn't die and she couldn't have this conversation with him! She'd only just brought him back, she couldn't live with herself if he died again. Especially if she'd had any part of it. She loved him too much to let that happen. A flicker of red wasn't much good, but it was enough to fight for!
"In a manner of speaking yes. I will lose any ability to love," he confessed. "And that goodness that you once saw inside of me...all that will be gone forever."
Her stomach rolled over as shock passed over her. He wouldn't love anymore. Not Henry, not Neal…not her?! Not at all? But his love…that was what made him…him! That was what set him apart from any man she'd ever known, any Dark One the world had ever encountered! No one loved like he did. His love…it kept the Dark One at bay. Oh, another terrible thought was already rolling around in her head, a terrifying one. What if there was no Rumpelstiltskin to keep the beast within in check? This was too much. Far worse news than she'd ever expected to come out of this conversation. It was so much to take in, too much at one time! But she couldn't leave or seem to do anything shock appeared to have welded her to the floor of the forest as she watched him remorsefully gaze at the lump in his hand.
"There's only one man who can reverse this process. And that's the author. That's why I'm here in Storybrooke."
He was telling the truth. She knew from the look on his face that he was telling the truth and she felt a small flutter in her chest knowing that she had the answers she'd come here to get! It all made sense. Not all of it of course, it didn't answer why he was working with those terrible woman, but why he was here...it all fit together. If he found the author, he could reverse his heart, he could keep the Dark One contained…and they might have another chance at their happiness. They needed that and she wanted it more than anything. But he was right. It was complicated.
Suddenly he hunched over and shivered as he placed his blackened heart back into his chest and she felt herself step away at the sight of it all the while wanting to be closer, to cure it. She knew this would happen. One conversation and she was already poised to begin again and work with him to fix all of this. If only he'd told her from the beginning…
"I don't expect you to understand, of course," he whispered harshly, his face twisted in discomfort. He was in pain. Did it hurt? His heart? Because hers did. It had every moment since the clock tower and those words…of course he didn't expect her to understand. He'd never expected her to stay.
"But I…I-I do understand." She understood he was in trouble. She understood that she'd do whatever it was that he needed to help. She understood that she'd do whatever she had to do to help so that his heart didn't become anymore black than it already was.
"You do?" he questioned after a moment, looking absolutely amazed.
Oh, tears poured out of her eyes at that question because there was a time that they both knew that they were the only two people in the world to understand one another. How could she have forgotten that? How could she have left him alone in this world, like Milah and Cora, how could she have ever given up on him, on them.
"Sometimes I worry…" she cried. "I worry I threw out the chipped tea cup too soon."
Something was wrong. She wasn't sure what it was but...something was wrong. Why...why would she say something like that? Her tea cup...she hadn't thrown it away it was in the basement! And she'd never pretend as though she had, that meant too much to both of them to joke about in that way!
But then it didn't matter. How could it? Maybe it was just a slip of the tongue. Her own way of not yet admitting that she made a mistake by casting him out, but showing that she regretted it in the end. He'd never been able to stay away when she cried, his instinct was always going to be to comfort her in any way possible. And that was a good thing because when he cried too, she couldn't keep herself away from him. So when he stepped forward for her, she didn't push him away or take a step back, she reached out and let them fall into each other's arms just as they always had.
His kisses. She could get lost in their kisses. Her heart raced, her fever grew, and all she wanted was to lose herself to him, to have him take them back home and begin to sort this mess out for themselves again, together just as they should have done months ago, before something bad happened.
But then she pushed him away. And she couldn't quite figure out why. That itch in her skull-logic maybe-it told her to stop only…she didn't want to stop. He didn't either, she could see it written there plain as day on his face as he looked at her, feel it in his hands as he held her! So why had they stopped?! Why had she pushed-
"You know what the problem is though?" she felt herself ask. She felt…something was wrong. Very wrong, and she knew it wasn't a slip of the tongue or mind…because there was no problem…there was her and him…so what was happening? Why couldn't he see something was wrong with her! She was under a spell or a- "Will is just such a better kisser than you are." No! She wanted to scream to shout to yell! Not tell him horrendous lies like this right when they were on the cusp of-
"Wh-what?!" He was hurt. He looked like she'd slapped him and she knew she had only it wasn't her why-
"You're pathetic!" the words were coming from her mouth, the voice was hers, but it wasn't her! He had to know that! Couldn't he see it in her eyes?! Were her eyes working the way she wanted them to?! "Watching you come groveling back to me it's like a dog begging for scraps!"
"Why are you saying this?" he asked, looking her over confused. He had to know. She'd never say these things to her worst enemy let alone him! "This isn't like you, Belle!" He knew. He had to know. This wasn't like her at all, and she didn't know who was responsible but he had to know and get her out of this!
Silence. She couldn't speak, no matter how much she wanted to speak she couldn't, she couldn't apologize or explain and she couldn't reach out and touch him either. She couldn't do anything. The messages she was screaming at her body just weren't getting there or they were overpowered by-
"But it is so like me!" a voice from over his shoulder growled. If she was capable of tears she would have cried at the sound of that voice because it was like a slap in the face.
Regina. Regina was doing this?! How?
Why?!
How could she be using her again like this?! They may not exactly be friends but...weren't they beyond this?! After everything in the last year, why would she...
Her heart.
It had to be.
When Rumple turned around she could see one sitting in the palm of her hand. Bright and red, glowing in plain sight, unlike his own. The sight of it stopped her thoughts and made her feel like she was swimming through molasses. It had to be hers, there was no other explanation for what was happening here! Not to mention she had this odd feeling about it. Like there was a string of light attached to it, or maybe just a magnet. And the other end was in her chest, pulling agonizing to have it put back where it belonged! But…it was hers without a doubt, so when had she taken it? How had she gotten it? Why was Regina doing this to her? To them? Hadn't Henry once told her it was because of them Regina had hope in herself and Robin Hood?
She wanted to ask! She wanted to talk to her but she must have commanded her to be still and silent. She could do nothing but watch in horror as the Evil Queen rounded on them. Her fear eased slightly knowing he'd protect her just as he always did, but still...her heart! What if she squeezed it?
"Regina?" he hissed.
Regina's only response was to hold her heart to her mouth and speak into it. "Now forget all this and run along home!"
She really should be getting home. Home.
Yes, home, that one thought echoed through her mind above all as she looked around. Why was she out walking in the woods by herself in the first place? With Rumpelstiltskin around? Lying in wait?! Home was much safer for her. It was a good thing she'd already thought to go home before deciding she wanted to.
Well, what did you think. It was a difficult scene to write I'll give you that much but in the end there wasn't too much editing to do, even after that Comic con interview. Hopefully you could sense wisps of Regina's desire throughout and not only Belles. Her's usually come second. For example, she only thinks of their fate together after she's thought of getting answers from Rumpelstiltskin. And there were other things, not knowing when she makes decisions, or how she's done something, and of course the tea cup...here's the thing, maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think Belle has ever referred to it as "the chipped tea cup". Only "her chipped cup". And frankly, if the producers really did have her throw it out and it never makes another appearance I'm pretty sure there are going to be a lot of upset Rumbellers out there. And yeah, I could write it as she's speaking metaphorically and all that jazz and at a certain point she thinks of that, but I figured the way I did it kinda covers all my bases. This way, in future seasons if the cup returns, it's written in that she didn't throw it away. And...I suppose...if it ever comes up again that she did throw it away and it was more than a metaphor (DON'T DO IT! Anyone wanna start a "chip lives" campaign with me) I know where I have to go to edit it.
Thank you for your reviews on the last chapter Grace5231973, Fox24, Raizen Yusuke, Kathryn Claire O'Connor, Teresa Martin, Rumbellefan, Deweymay, and Skitzoeinhoven. I'll be interested to see what ya'll think about this chapter because I know how long ya'll have been waiting for it. I do hope that it doesn't disappoint, I did my best with it! Peace and Happy Reading!