Wondering why I haven't updated this week until today, or maybe you're here from tumblr because of my post about postponement? I waited until today to update any and all weekly-updated fanfics because today is a special day for a very special someone.

This chapter is a shout out and present to randomgirl40, my fellow fanfic author and thiefshipping fangirl, who's birthday is today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RANDOM!
She's also my online friend and one of my biggest supporters. If you didn't know, this is the fanfic that brought us together. She asked me if she could use a line from this in her fanfic, "monsters meets EVIL!". Go check out her stuff, but only if you can handle the randomness!

I didn't lie to Bakura. This will NOT be rated M. No citrus fruits to be found here!

Except maybe an orange.

A quick recap: When Bakura takes Marik into his soul room and shows him what Yami Bakura told him, Marik runs to Yami Bakura's soul room to tell him stuff. But Bakura tries to stop them and they start fighting. Yami Bakura breaks it up, reveals that he heard everything Marik said while in Bakura's soul room, then kisses him. After a suggestion from Bakura for the thieves to "get a room", Yami Bakura and Marik go into Yami Bakura's soul room to..."talk".
Ryou (hikari): "Ryou"
Bakura (yami): "Bakura"

I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! or YGOTAS or any of the characters/trademarks in those.

R&R

ENJOY~!

The first thing Bakura did after he closed the door to his soul room was run over to the bed in the room and sit on it up against the wall with his legs crossed.

Marik followed and sat right next to him. But before he could make a move Bakura spoke. "I didn't lie to Ryou."

"What?"

"I really do want to talk." He have Marik a stern look. "Only talk."

Marik's eyes widened briefly, then he nodded. "Uh sure. What about?"

Bakura looked straight ahead. He whistled. One of the the spirits around the room rushed to his side. He put a hand on it and closed his eyes. "Mmm. You said something about...letting me in on the plan... What plan? And will it involve Ryou?"

"Uh... Well... Basically, we could totally still be together, but make the fangirls think we aren't. You're good at acting, and so am I. You pretend to be your host all the time and I totally fooled you into thinking I was oblivious to what you were trying to tell me. I don't think we need to worry about Ryou. He wouldn't talk about it anyway. I get the feeling that he doesn't like talking about thiefshipping."

"Mmhmm." Bakura nodded. He lifted his hand away for the spirit at his side and smiled involuntarily. Then he forced the smile to fade. He lightly tapped the spirit and it flew away from him.

Marik watched it with total confusion. But he decided not to ask Bakura about it.

But something next to him caught his eye, and he did ask Bakura about it...

"Kura...why the frig is there an orange here?" Marik asked him as he picked up the orange hard-peeled citrus fruit.

Bakura looked at Marik and rolled his eyes at the orange. "Probably a terrible joke Aquailita thought of about lemons and how she doesn't like writing them."

"Oh."

"Just throw it over there and let the shadows consume it and dispose of it properly."

Marik nodded and threw the orange towards the center of the room. It disappeared into thin air.

"That was just...really really weird," Marik said after a moment.

"Aquailita must be running out of ideas, so she's just putting random crap into the story."

"You shouldn't talk about her like that. She just might decide to have Ryou nail you to the wall again."

"Hah. I could escape again. And with how much him and his kitten have pissed me off over the course of 34 chapters, 2 bonus chapters, and a party chapter with several readers and characters, I think I'll be the one nailing him to a wall. Literally. In his soul room. With actual nails. In his body. And it'll hurt. A lot. And it'll scar, too. And then it'll be so bad that he'll have those injuries on his body whenever he takes over. Forever. Because they're scars." As he spoke, a serious frown gradually formed on Bakura's face, then it transformed into an evil smile. Like those evil anime smiles where it looks like they randomly have fangs when they really don't. Which is actually how Bakura naturally looks most of the time. I think.

But when Bakura glanced at Marik, his evil smile faded. Marik had shifted away from Bakura a bit and looked like he was kinda freaked out or something over Bakura's words. "What's your problem?" Bakura asked him.

"I don't need a graphic description of how you plan to torture your host and teach him a lesson for something that is only 1/3 his fault."

Bakura raised an eyebrow. "1/3?"

"1/3 of the blame goes to Kuriby. 1/6 goes to you. And the last 1/6 is evenly split between Ishizu, Yugi (cuz everything is his fault!), Joey, Tristan, and Tea."

"Wha— Where's your share of the blame?! You're one of the main characters in this fanfic!"

Marik smiled innocently. "I'm never to blame."

"Biggest. Lie. EVER." Bakura shook his head, trying to not let Marik distract him. He remembered Marik's reaction a few moments ago. "Anyway, what was your problem? You were all...freaked out or something."

Marik's face turned uncomfortable again. "Like I said, I don't need you to spell out your torture methods to me. Whatever you do to Ryou, keep to yourself." Then Marik added with a hint of irritation, "Like you've always been doing."

Bakura frowned. "Hmph. You're still, apparently, Ryou's new-found friend. How touching. You actually CARE." He looked away from Marik.

"What's wrong with that?!"

"Nothing..."

"We hikaris have to stick together, don't we?"

"Yugi is also a hikari. In YGOTAS, that rule doesn't apply. And besides, weren't you the one who agreed to give him Wanker's Cramp and pretend that he—"

"I know I know I know! Stop reminding me, okay! I'm not really that proud about what I did to him in Battle City anymore, okay?!" Marik pouted and folded his arms and turned away from Bakura. "Frigging stop bringing it up!"

"So you...are friends with him, then?"

"Yeah! Got a problem with that, Fluffy?"

Bakura was silent for a moment. "Yes. But it creates complications."

Marik unfolded his arms and turned to Bakura only a little bit. "What do you mean?"

Bakura got on his knees and moved closer to Marik, leaning towards him. "You said that you wanted us to be together, with us pretending that our relationship is exactly the same as it was before. And you wanted me in on it as well. I can do that. I thought Ryou wouldn't be a problem, but it seems like he is."

Marik turned to Bakura more. "How so?"

"You two know more about each other now. I thought Ryou wouldn't be an issue or blow our cover because he would be reluctant to mention or hint at our relationship. But now I see that you two truly are friends. So he clearly has no problem with you."

Marik faced Bakura completely and stopped pouting. He shifted closer to him. "I think I see where you're going with this, but please continue anyway."

Bakura got off his knees and sat directly next to Marik. They both were up against the wall. "Since Ryou is now involved with you via a friendship, that might cause some complications. Him hanging out with you or talking to you or doing anything that is related to you might conflict with this cover we're trying to hold over us and fool the fanbase with. Basically, his friendship with you will definitely trip him up and make him fall into the cover and rip it, like the overly-British awkward little spaz-child he is.

Marik closed his eyes and laughed. "Yeah, I can totally picture him doing that*."

Bakura laughed as well. "Yes. But anyway, that means that we have to let him in on the plan."

Marik stopped laughing and his eyes widened. He gaped at Bakura and shook his head.

"Yes."

"No friggin way!"

"Why not?"

"Three reasons: He's not a thief, he's not evil, he's not sexy. He doesn't get to be in on the evil sexy scheme about the shipping of thieves."

"It's not all that evi-"

"It is! Messing with fangirls is one of the most evil things a fictional character can ever possibly do! Not to mention that we're talking about messing with shipping fangirls, as well as the entire Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series fanbase. I don't think Ryou would be evil enough to handle it or agree with it."

Bakura patted Marik's head. "Don't worry about it. He's scared of his fangirls enough to go along with it. And also scared of mine. And perhaps yours. And he's also scared of me. And he may be a Light but he's no angel. He has enough bad in him that we can force him to agree with it. Trust me."

Marik pushed Bakura's hand off and frowned. "That still doesn't account for the fact that he's not evil enough to handle the execution."

"Did you not hear what I just said?! You're talking about the host of Abridged Yami no Bakura. I know him better than you. You've known him for, what?, four days? I've known him for years. I know what he is and isn't capable of."

Marik sighed. "Fine," he said. He moved off of Bakura's soul room bed and stood up. "Let's go inform the Limey shemale of our evil plan."

Bakura nodded and also stood up. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

They began walking towards the door to Bakura's soul room.

But when they neared the door, Marik stopped them. He grabbed Bakura's arm to keep him from walking ahead and said, "Hold on a moment."

Bakura looked back. "What is it?"

Marik pushed him against the wall and kissed him. Quickly. It was over after only a second.

Marik moved away from the wall and continued moving towards the door.

Bakura blinked in surprise, then he shook it off and his face turned irritated. "One, what the bloody hell was that for, and two, you didn't even give me enough time to process that let alone respond to or even enjoy it."

Marik just smiled at him. "Yeah, I know. And I was making up for that orange."

"What? Marik, that was barely half of a joke. And it-"

"Don't care. Thiefshipping. Shut up."

Bakura just blinked.

"Let's go." Marik put his hand on the doorknob.

And it shocked him. The zappy kind of shock.

"AH!" Marik yelped as he quickly drew his stinging and tingling hand back. "What the [EFF!]?!" He looked at Bakura expectantly.

"Since I left you this morning, I rigged it to zap anyone who tries to touch it without my knowledge. If you had waited another second or two instead of being so bloody hyper and impulsive, I would have been prepared enough that you wouldn't have been shocked by it."

"}:T"

"Try it now."

Marik shook his head. He was still holding his hand, which wasn't stinging or tingling anymore but he didn't want to take any chances.

Bakura sighed and rolled his eyes, then walked over to the door and opened it for him. "There."

"}:T"

They walked out of Bakura's soul room and over to Ryou's.

"Host!" Bakura cried sharply.

In an instant, Ryou was standing outside of his soul room door. "Yes?"

"We're leaving. To go talk. For real, this time. We're going back home to get something, then we're heading to TokyCari."

Ryou's face said that he clearly objected, but he nodded anyway.

"And you're traveling with us. As in I want to be able to see you."

Ryou's jaw dropped. "W...what?"

"You heard me. I want you out and visible. I assume I'm making myself clear."

Ryou frowned and nodded.

"Good. Let's go. Host, close the doors."

Without hesitation, Bakura headed for the end of the hallway. Marik ran after him.

Ryou groaned, then closed his and Bakura's soul room doors, then also followed.

*I drew this. The sketch/outline of it will be on deviantART the day after this chapter is up. You can find the link to my deviantART profile in my profile on this site, or you could just look up "Aquailita" and/or "ThiefSlipping" on deviantART.

Name change next chapter. With Ryou and Bakura. It's in the AN. Make sure you read the quick recap.
(Remember that in this story, Ryou is his LAST name and Bakura is his FIRST. I said several times before that it would be too much work to change it.)

See you next chapter!

BYEEEEEEEEEEE~!