Ch 36

"Where is she?" House demanded of the secretary that Cuddy had hired to take care of her dirty work. The diagnostician had finally been released from the hospital the day after getting the relief of pain medication and was now out for blood, but the Dean of Medicine was nowhere to be found.

"She said she'd be out all morning," the young man replied, slightly anxious in the presence of House's displeasure.

"Figures," he muttered under his breath. "Probably off spanking the wombat…"

"What was that?" the secretary asked nervously.

"Nothing," House grumbled.

"Do you want to leave a message?"

"Tell her that I'm scheduling a meeting with her for 2 this evening and if she isn't there she'll be sorry," House said menacingly before limping off in the direction of the elevators. He had work to do and no time to waste on the incompetency of a boy working as a secretary. Wilson was waiting on House with a cup of coffee and a half-smile when he arrived at his office.

"What are you doing here?" House asked. "Don't you have some bald kids to croon over and your best friend to ignore?"

"House…" Wilson started, but the other man cut him off.

"Look, I understand your position. You're off the hook…just don't go all sappy on me. I'm fine."

Wilson breathed a sigh of relief which he quickly disguised as a yawn. "Well do you want any company in the differential?" the oncologist asked.

"Why? Because I'm stoned?"
"No, because you have a patient presenting with symptoms indicative of the early stages of neoplastic syndrome."

"Fine," House said, taking the coffee out of Wilson's hand. "But only because you said 'neoplastic.' He brushed past Wilson and entered the room where his team was waiting on him to send them off to test the patient.

"Are you…?" Foreman started but House held up one hand.

"Let's just get this over with, shall we? I was detoxing…anything I said to you means nothing. I'm fine now. Let's see if this kid has cancer." He grabbed the marker and jotted down various symptoms. "Thirteen, full panel; Taub, patient history and house search; Foreman, number one and number two…and I yeah that's a reference to excretions. Now 'mush' my little huskies!"

"You seem to be your chipper self," Wilson mentioned after the team had gone off to do as House asked.

"It's a gift, really—I face death and come out just as wonderfully unchanged as ever…you gotta love it."

"Are you still pissed at Cuddy?"

"Oh, you mean the demon bitch who doesn't prescribe pain medications to those in pain? I guess you could say that…"

"She just wanted to help."

"Didn't need her help, didn't ask for it…now I have to deal with the fact that she offered."

"Yes…it is quite sad that people try to help with problems…" Wilson rolled his eyes. "She went too far, but she meant well."

"The road to hell…"

"Right." House settled into his chair and Wilson took a seat on the other side of House's desk. The older man flipped through the television channels until he found his soap and they went back to their respective roles in their relationship.