:D I'm not dead?
So, um, wow what do you say after so long? Abslutely nothing that's what! But anyway college has been kicking my butt and I'm still hard pressed for time but I'mgoing to try and makea huge effort to try and get this finished. I never stopped liking or thinking about this story; it's just takes such a huge chuck of time in order to get chapters out but I'm going to try!
Also the dividers for the first 15 freakin chapters got deleted so it's just one huge block of text with no dividers between scenes. I've fixed chapters 1-8 so far but it took me 2 hours to do them so I'll be putting off the others until later. I also fixed some of the spelling errors and got rid of all the Japanese wordsbecause...ugh.
But I have a nice long chapter to make up for everything! Like so long it'd came dangerously close to being the longest chapter so far.
Thank you to everyone who has read, favorited, reviewed, and PMed me about this fic. Your awesome support has driven me to pick this up again rather than leaving it around to gather dust.
I love you guys so much!
Thinking.
That was what he did too much.
Always thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking. He had been thinking so much and so long lately he had forgotten what he had done before thinking.
First had been the kitsune, then the problem of conception, then the damn stablehand, then the council and the myriad of problems that had brought up, and now this. A bunch of assassins running around after a blasted baby of all things.
It was no wonder he couldn't sleep.
Inside his bedroom, Sesshoumaru rubbed a side of his nose. It was in the deep hours of the night and there was no moon. It was so dark inside the bedroom that had he not been a youkai he would have been completely blind.
He had tried to sleep hours earlier but the maelstrom of thoughts swirling about his head inhibited him from getting any rest.
What hadDezaia meant by what he had said? Who had he been referring to? Whowas trying to get at him?
Sesshoumaru snorted at the last part. He wasn't in the least bit of afraid of someone targeting him. He had been the target of many people before: human, hanyou, and youkai alike. Normally he would have just waited the whole thing out until the one responsible grew frustrated and had no choice but to reveal themselves. Unfortunately he didn't have the leisure of patience this time. There were more…delicate beings inhabiting his establishment, those that were much more vulnerable to attack.
There was still question of who the assassins were targeting. Sesshoumaru really could careless who they were after. If they were after the baby, so what? If they were after the brat taijiya, good riddance. If they were after Rin…
Well, there was no point wondering about that. It didn't matter who they were after.
What irked Sesshoumaru the most is what had happened on his own territory. His advisor was arrested, one of his stablehands had tried to violate his ward, and Mamoru had gotten herself killed. He just didn't understand why. As far as Sesshoumaru could see, Jogon had no reason for allowing Dezaia into the hall, nor for killing Mamoru. He couldn't see how Jogon would have benefited at all from it.
Jogon hadn't been close at all Dezaia, so that ruled out any possibility that he had felt pity for the dog demon's feelings towards Rin. He couldn't have been after the throne either. He would have had to not only eliminate Sesshoumaru but Kajuu as well to obtain that. Going after Rin would have been foolish and attracted unwanted attention he didn't need if he was indeed out to usurp Sesshoumaru.
Sesshoumaru paused at that train of thought.
Yes, letting Dezaia go after Rin would attract way too much attention if Jogon had been trying to be secretive about whatever was going on. It would have been an extremely stupid move on his part.
So maybe he was just being used as a decoy? A scapegoat? Someone to pin as the culprit so all the attention and suspicion stayed on him as the real malefactor roamed about unheeded and unnoticed as he did his dirty work?
That was a huge possibility. But then who was the real fugitive? It couldn't have been anyone close to Dezaia. The stablehand didn't associate with anyone that had the means nor the power to get into the royal wing, much less take out Mamoru.
Keikai maybe?
Sesshoumaru shook his head. Keikai had made mistakes in the past but there was no doubt in his mind that she was innocent of these crimes. He knew Keikai's personality and he knew where her feelings lie. Even if she was desperate to get back to Rin she would never endanger the girl emotionally much less physically. She was too tied to the girl to do something like that. It would be like shoving a knife into her own heart.
It couldn't be Kajuu either. The tiger youkai had a soft spot for Rin, though Sesshoumaru pretended not to notice. So long as Kajuu wisely kept his hands to himself, Sesshoumaru didn't give a damn what he did. Kajuu had been the one to arrest Jogon but given the situation and circumstances Sesshoumaru would have done the same thing.
Actually that wasn't true. He would have killed Jogon on the spot and then maybe later he would have revived him to get answers out of him. Yes that's what he would have done.
So who then? There was nobody else on the premises that Sesshoumaru could think of offhand. Maybe an outside person then? Somebody who was influencing his people from elsewhere? But who and why?
"Are you still awake?"
Sesshoumaru's thoughts were interrupted by his mate. He shot a glance her way then returned his stare to the wall. "Yes," he answered pointblank.
"Why?" Kagura yawned the word out sleepily.
"I was thinking."
"About what?"
"Things."
"What kind of things?"
Sesshoumaru had half a mind to not answer her at all or lie outright but there would be no point in hiding it. She would just bother him relentlessly until he told her anyway. "Do you remember what I told you about what happened with that stablehand?"
"Yeah. He fell out the window and died. So what?"
"I mean what he said, not what he did."
Kagura narrowed her eyes to slits in thought. "Yes," she said slowly, trying to remember through her sleep-logged mind. "Something about you'll be sorry when he gets to you or something?"
"Correct." Sesshoumaru shifted on the bed, enough so she could see part of his face in the darkness. He ran his claws through his hair. "That stablehand was going to kill himself on purpose," he said. "He knew if he died by normal means I could just resurrect him again. He was trying to use a way that would be impossible for me to do so. He didn't want to be brought back again, which leads me to believe he was hiding something. Maybe not hiding something for his own protection but hiding it for somebody else."
"Like who?"
He shook his head, fangs exposed. "That's the problem."
In other words, Kagura surmised thoughtfully, Sesshoumaru didn't know. "Do you think it's dangerous?"
A small frown titled the corner of the youkai lord's mouth at the question. He didn't feel in danger in the least, not that he ever did. Any harm being done to him by a group of lowly, weak assassins was inconceivable and he highly doubted there was anyone in his kingdom he couldn't handle easily.
Kagura and Souten he didn't need to be concerned about in the least. The Thunder Beast Queen and his mate would be formidable opponents for nearly anyone and it was highly unlikely that anyone would target them regardless. There would be too much of a stir if royalty such as those two were to be attacked.
But the others?
Sesshoumaru frowned harder. If he was lucky, they would target the kitsune and kill him. That would save Sesshoumaru the headache. If he was unlucky…
Sesshoumaru pushed that thought out of his mind. The assassins would either have to be exceptionally stupid or suicidal to attack anyone inside the castle walls. If Jogon was guilty, he was imprisoned and could do no more further harm. If someone else was pulling strings from the outside, there was nothing Sesshoumaru could do for now except wait and try to sniff out the rat.
But in the meantime, he didn't feel like there was any immediate danger nearby.
"No," he answered his mate at last. "There's no danger for now."
Kagura nodded, seemingly satisfied at his answer. She yawned expansively and settled further into the covers. "It's too early to be thinking about these things," she commented. "Or too late. Kami knows what time is it. Worry about it the morning."
"If I stay up long enough then it will be morning."
Kagura rolled her eyes in aggravation. "Fine. Do whatever you want. But stop staring at the wall; it's creepy and I hate it. Go somewhere else if you're going to brood."
"I can brood wherever I want," Sesshoumaru responded airily. "There aren't any cliffs to look out over here therefore I have nothing better to stare at than the wall."
Kagura didn't say anything. Sesshoumaru glared at her still back. It wasn't very entertaining if she didn't respond. He might as well talk to the wall if he didn't want a retort.
Sighing, he moved to lay down. She did have a point, not that he would ever admit that. It would be better to think about things later after he had gotten some sleep and when he had a clearer head.
After he had settled and made himself comfortable, Kagura turned slightly to look at him. "I thought you were brooding."
"I am," said Sesshoumaru, not bothering to look her way. "I am just doing it with my eyes closed."
She made an irritated noise and her gaze went to the ceiling, as though asking the Gods why they had decided to plague her like this. "You're such a pain in the ass."
"Would you prefer it if I looked at the wall?"
She flopped back down and pulled the covers violently up to her chin. "Shut up," she growled fiercely and Sesshoumaru was finally able to go to sleep now that he felt he had accomplished something, even if it was just getting under his mate's skin.
They ate their morning meal in a small dining area of the castle. Rin had arranged for it, thinking it was a good way to get them all out of their rooms and provide some amusement for Shippo and Souten. Kami knows what the two did the rest of the time.
The three of them, or four since Souten's little dragon minion followed her in, gathered around the table, seating themselves comfortably and digging in. Keikai stood close to the wall, silent but observant.
It was the first time since the night Rin had spent at that old man's inn that she had had a truly big meal. It was comforting in the fact that, maybe, things were returning to normal again. Of course she had thought that once before and then Dezaia…
But its not good to think that way, she chided herself and forced it out of her mind.
"This is really good," Shippo said around a mouthful of food. "I mean really. Makes me not want to go home again."
Rin giggled. "I'd have to kick you out then. Kagome-chan would kill me if I kept you here."
Shippo shrugged. "Not if she can come here too."
Rin let out a guffaw, unable to help herself. "You'd have to ask Sesshoumaru-sama for permission."
Shippo stopped chewing at that. "I change my mind," he said.
Rin smiled at him then she turned and leaned over to where Keiseki was propped in a makeshift carriage. She held out a bottle to her. The formula Maniakku had given to her was a concoction he had made himself. The shrew youkai knew little about human health, much less baby human health, but the genius side of him had devised a formula that was similar but unique to human breast milk. Keiseki was taking it readily enough.
While she fed the baby, Rin slid a discreet glance at Souten. The Thunder Beast Queen had been disturbingly quiet today. She hadn't uttered a word the entire time they had been at the table and she barely picked at her food. She hadn't talked much in the short span of time Rin had known her but there was something different about her today. Her presence felt different, as if she was strung tight like a bow or was deep in some forbidding thoughts.
Whatever it was, Shippo seemed utterly oblivious to it and Rin didn't know the girl enough to prod her about it. Souten wasn't the type who would appreciate people she didn't know well prying into her thoughts or feelings. It would be better to let Souten deal with it on her own.
"So, Rin," Shippo said, dragging her attention away from Souten and onto him. "Where's Kohaku at?"
"Sleeping," said Rin. "He's been sleeping a lot lately, probably due to his wounds. I didn't have the heart to wake him up."
Shippo nodded sagely. He leaned across the table and his gaze let Rin know he was being serious. "He hasn't hurt you has he?"
Rin blinked at him in surprise. "Oh do you mean this?" She gestured to the bruise on her head with her free hand. "That was my fault. I fell on a rock, of all things. And my hands and feet were from rocks - I don't seem to have much luck with rocks. They seem to be almost healed though. Look."
"I don't mean physically," Shippo repudiated with a shake of his head, lips compressing. "I can tell just by looking at him that he took the brunt of that. I meant has he hurt you emotionally?"
"Oh," said Rin in sudden understanding. "Oh that."
It didn't astound her that Shippo had asked her that. It was a little bit of a shock but it was not unwarranted for him to be asking such things. He had been the one to comfort her after the fight she had had with Kohaku at the village after all and she knew he didn't trust him.
Rin thought back to the journey they had just completed and all that they had been through. Kohaku had protected her from physical harm more times than Rin could ever thank him for but more so than that he had been there for her emotionally and spiritually. He had assuaged her fears the night she had heard the wolves, been her pillar of support when they had walked out of the very same creatures den, and he had comforted her after the Dezaia incident.
Through all the dark times, through all the bad times, he had been the one thing she could rely on.
A smile split her face, unbidden but brilliant. There was a brightness in her chest, like a sun had been placed there. When she thought of him she felt this way and it felt good.
"No," she answered Shippo. She wasn't looking at him but rather at Keiseki. "If anything it was the exact opposite."
Shippo stared at her a moment longer before finally leaning back. Even without Rin speaking he could already tell what the answer was. "Hmmm," he hummed thoughtfully but didn't say a word.
There was a knock at the door and Keikai opened it after a slight nod from Rin. Maniakku entered for his daily morning check up, his clothes dragging on the floor behind him.
"Maniakku-sama," Rin chirped happily. Thankfully, she noticed there were no jars with him.
Out of the corner of her eye she could see Shippo perk up. It was obvious the kitsune found the shrew youkai extremely entertaining and was glad to see him.
"Ah, Rin-sama," Maniakku warbled back as he walked over to her. "How are you feeling this fine morning? No problems with your injuries I hope?"
Rin shook her head. "I feel great. My hands and feet are nearly healed too."
Maniakku shuffled closer and she obligingly lifted her palms for him to inspect. The rotund youkai grunted in satisfaction.
"Very good. And your head?" He reached up and touched the spot with his thumb, causing Rin to hiss at the pain. "Still hurting I see. You've got some deep bruising there; it will probably be at least a week before it completely heals. I can give you some comfrey leaf to relieve the pain and accelerate the healing though."
Finished with his inspection of her, Maniakku leaned over to see Keiseki. The baby girl watched him attentively.
"How does she like that formula I gave you?"
"She seems to like it," Rin responded. "She drank most of what I gave to her."
Maniakku straightened. "That's good. I added in some pleurisy root to help support her lungs. The poison may be cleared and whatever medicine you had given her before helped to limit the damage that was done to her lungs. I must warn you though that there may be permanent damage that cannot be fixed." He fixed Rin with a serious stare. "There is no way to know yet. If there is indeed permanent damage, it won't show until later most likely."
Rin took in this information, processing it carefully before letting any emotion touch it. After all they had been through, she couldn't accept that Keiseki could be anything but alright. "How severe could it be?" she asked carefully.
Maniakku shrugged. "I'm not an expert at human anatomy. But if I had to make a guess, I would surmise that it will only affect her after strenuous activity or after something that would put great stress on the lungs, like crying. That may be why she cries so little. Maybe there is some part of her that is aware something is not completely whole and instinctively she knows better than to do things that will not endanger that part. Children are smart, you know. Like animals."
Rin wasn't sure how polite it was to refer to Keiseki as an animal but she said nothing and only grinned. It was a relief to know that nothing terribly had happened to the infant. It was not the perfect answer Rin would have wanted, which would have been that there were no long lasting effects at all, but all-in-all it was one of the best results she could hope for. Keiseki was alive and thriving and, in te end, that was all that mattered.
"We'll have to tell Miroku and Sango," Shippo spoke up from the side, having heard the conversation. "They'll definitely want to know about this."
"Yes," Rin agreed without second thought. "We will most certainly have to tell them. I don't think they'll be too upset but they must know."
"I don't think they'll be too upset either. Just the fact Keiseki is alive will make them happy."
Maniakku straightened and ran his hands down his clothes, which surprisingly appeared clean today. It was likely due to him being forced to leave his workroom the last few days to tend to Rin, Keiseki, and Kohaku. "On another note," he said, "I took a look at that friend of yours this morning, that taijiya."
"Oh really?" Rin turned to him eagerly. "How is he doing?"
"Healing very nicely," Maniakku said but there was a frown on his face. "Faster than a human naturally should."
Rin's eyebrows lowered at the healer's words. "Huh?"
"I have not worked with humans but I know wounds and I can see how fast his have healed in such a short time. He may not heal as fast as a youkai but I don't see it as being on the same level as a human's either."
"You really think he's healing faster than normal?"
"Certain," said Maniakku with an astute nod.
Rin bit on her bottom lip, digesting those words as well. Kohaku had never mentioned anything like that to her. Of course the taijiya may not even be aware of it himself.
She turned to Shippo, imploring him for an answer but the kitsune looked just as confused as she. "Maybe the Shikon?" he volunteered nonetheless. "The Shikon had properties that let you heal faster and Kohaku was in contact with it for a long time. Could be that some of its power stayed with him."
"Maybe," said Rin.
Not knowing much about the Shikon's power, Rin couldn't vouch for Shippo's opinion nor discard it. Frankly there was no telling why Kohaku healed faster than normal, if it was indeed true, which Rin believed it was. Maniakku was no fool when his doctor side took over and she valued his opinion.
"Well, I'm off then," Maniakku announced. "I was in the middle of discovering a cure for teeth stains. You just combine-"
"That's nice, Maniakku-sama," Rin hurriedly interrupted. "I'm sure we'll all be interested in using it later."
Kami, he's worse than Keikai's clothes line.
The loony doctor waddled out of the room and Rin, seeing Keiseki had finished, laid the bottle on the table. She stretched her arms over her head. "I'm stuffed."
"Me too," Shippo agreed.
"Me as well," Koryu added, rubbing his belly.
The little dragon had been feeding off of Souten's plate to Rin's surprise. It was rather odd that Koryu was a servant and yet Souten allowed him such benefits as sharing her food. Rin couldn't imagine Sesshoumaru ever allowing AhUn near him when he ate, much less off his plate. The little dragon and his mistress shared a strange relationship, one that went deeper and beyond just servant and master.
Rin pushed her chair away from the table and started to rise. "I better get going. Kohaku must be bursting from boredom." She looked to Shippo and Souten, noticing at the same time that when Souten rose, Shippo did so also. "Are you two coming?"
When Souten moved towards the door, Shippo also followed her without invitation and without a single indication that it was out of the ordinary for him to be following her. The gesture was natural and without hesitation, as if it was completely normal.
Souten gave him a cool look at this but said nothing.
"Nah," Shippo said to Rin over his shoulder. "We know our way around the castle now. We can entertain ourselves."
"Oh. Alright. Well, be careful. If you need me for anything just come back here."
"Alright," said Shippo simply with a wave of his hand as he departed with Souten ahead of him.
Rin watched the door close behind them, a frown marring her face. She was utterly curious about the relationship between the two of them. She was well aware of Shippo's endeavors with the opposite sex and had been witness to several occasions where he had done silly things like take his shirt off to impress them.
But this time it was different. It wasn't just the fact that Souten was an entirely different entity than the usual village girls, but Shippo treated her in a way Rin had never seen him treat the others girls she had seen him with. He wasn't flirty with Souten, wasn't saying savvy things or being lewd, wasn't being a cad. With Souten he wasn't putting on a show to impress her, wasn't doing his normal seduction behavior. With Souten, he acted like nothing except his usual self.
He did barb the Thunder Youkai periodically but it was a playful barb and nothing exotic about it. He did the very same thing to Rin, Kagome, Sango, Miroku, Inuyasha – especially Inuyasha – everyone he was close to and comfortable around. It seemed that, unlike the village girls Shippo didn't really give a toss about, the kitsune was completely at ease around Souten.
Rin smiled a little, glad to see that Shippo may have found somebody he truly wanted and respected. It was good to see him happy.
Still smiling, Rin scooped the sleepy Keiseki into her arms. With Keikai by her side, she headed for the door. "Time for you to go back to your uncle, you sleepy girl."
Keiseki could only yawn in agreement.
It had been a painful morning for Kohaku.
It had started out so good too. He had slowly awoken, coming gradually out of slumber instead of completely awaking all at once. It felt good to be able to relax and not be concerned about assassins attacking him. He just felt good for some reason he couldn't discern.
He vaguely remembered the conversation he had had with Rin last night. Something about maps or…something. He had been so tired he could barely remember. And after that?
Kohaku frowned into the sheets. Had something else happened after that? He couldn't remember.
It was not lost on him that Keiseki was missing from the chair that had become her 'crib'. Kohaku had forced down the small surge of panic he experienced at first noticing her absence. There was no way the assassins could get in here with all those guards outside. Furthermore, even though he had not shown any interest in the baby, it gave Kohaku some relief to know Dezaia was dead.
Kohaku didn't support the take of life without just cause – after all his own life had been plagued with the guilt of taking the life of his own innocent family. The death of Dezaia didn't make him happy or pleased. The dog demon wasn't innocent in his eyes, but he knew there were worse beings in the world. The death of Dezaia simply made him feel more at ease. He didn't have to be on high alert for the first sign of danger.
Kohaku let the panic pass without action and settled back into the pillow. More than likely Shippo had taken her with him. The kitsune was fond of the girl and Kohaku knew Shippo would never let harm come to her. The girl was safe with him.
The morning had turned painful when the door had opened. Kohaku had picked his head up, expecting to see Rin. He was disappointed when he saw the dwarf doctor instead.
It wasn't that Kohaku disliked Maniakku. You couldn't dislike someone as ditzy as that. But the doctor had a bad habit of poking him in his wounds. Today had been no different and Maniakku had poked and prodded at him, telling him how well he was healing and how he should be close to recovered soon.
That had been a relief to hear but the aftermath of the examination wasn't enjoyable.
Grimacing, Kohaku turned onto his back, hoping that would ease some of the weight off his injuries. Normally they didn't bother him, which was a relief, and he felt well enough that he could move around without pain. He had moved around a great deal the day he had tried to leave, but that was mainly due to pure determination than physical well-being. The tussle with Dezaia hadn't helped either.
The door opened once again with a soft click and Kohaku looked up. It had to be Rin this time.
Kohaku was shocked to see that it was not Rin as he had hoped. The person who entered the room was none other than Kagura herself.
"My, my," commented the wind youkai upon seeing him. One hand was perched on her hip, the fan lightly slapping against her thigh. "Aren't you a sight to behold. You are looking better than the last time I saw you though."
Kohaku stared at her in bewilderment and surprise. "Kagura?" he managed to get out. "What are you doing here?"
"Hah." Kagura let out a bark of a laugh as she strode to his bedside. "Good to see you too." She scrutinized him for a brief moment then she pulled a Maniakku and reached out to poke his injuries with one nailed finger. "Nice wounds."
Kohaku drew in a sharp intake of breath. "Why does everyone do that?"
She let out another small laugh and sat down on the settee next to him without asking permission. Kagura had always been like that. She always did what she wanted. "Rin decided to have breakfast in the dining hall this morning so she wouldn't disturb you," she informed him. "I decided to stop on by to see how you were doing."
So that's why Rin didn't come, Kohaku thought to himself. He didn't dare say a word outloud about that though. Kami knew what the wind youkai would think.
"Is Keiseki with her?" he asked instead.
"Who?"
"The baby."
"Oh yeah the baby's with her." Kagura paused a moment, giving him a scrutinizing look. "Is that baby yours?"
"My niece."
"Ah." Kagura leaned back with a small sigh. "I never did like children. I blame Hakudoshi for that."
Kohaku chuckled a little. He hadn't seen much of Kagura the last six years, not since the death of Naraku. The glimpses he had caught of her recently were simply that. He had barely spoken to her much less had an actual full conversation with her.
Regardless, it didn't sound like she had changed much. Her circumstances had certainly been altered but not her personality. She still seemed like the willful, fiery demoness he remembered. The only difference was now she was a demon lord's wife instead of the slave of a pernicious hanyou.
"You seem to have done very well with yourself," he said not unkindly to her. "You've definitely moved up in the world."
"Hmm? Oh all this?" she gestured around herself. A frown creased her brow. "It's not as great as it looks. There's all these protocols and formalities, all these different things I have to do, all these responsibilities. It can make you go crazy, y'know."
"But you're happy aren't you?"
"Huh." A smirk tilted her red mouth, her gaze sliding to the side. Kohaku could see the humor and satisfaction in her eyes. "Yes, I suppose," she said flippantly, as if his question wasn't as meaningful or serious as it was supposed to be. "Yes, I think I am."
Her gaze fixed on him again. "What about you? I didn't expect to see you here of all places. What have you been doing for the past six years?"
"I was searching," Kohaku answered, not looking at her.
"Searching for what?"
Kohaku turned to look at her directly, gaze unwavering, so she could see his seriousness. She was one of the very few, probably the only one, who would know the true impact of what he was about to say.
"Naraku."
She pulled back a little, irises expanding. "Naraku?"
He nodded silently.
She closed her eyes, another smirk playing across her lips. She hummed in her throat. "Oh. Still after revenge I see."
"Something like that."
Her reaction to his statement didn't bother Kohaku. He knew that was just how Kagura was. She acted like most serious things were trivial, which used to make Naraku quite angry. Kohaku had always thought that was partly why she did it. More than likely it annoyed Sesshoumaru too so of course she would continue to do it. Kagura wasn't known for being highly respectful of people in power.
"Did you…"
Kagura's words broke him out of his thoughts. She sounded hesitant, unsure, almost afraid.
"Did you…Did you find anything? About Naraku I mean."
Ah, that's why. She's afraid he's still alive.
"No," he answered her truthfully. "He is truly gone."
Kohaku could see her visibly relax. "Good," she said lowly, barely loud enough for Kohaku to hear it.
He said nothing to that and opted to look at the bed sheets.
At least one of us is happy he's genuinely gone.
"So," said Kagura, back to her chipper mood, "you and Rin are close, huh?"
Kohaku shrugged. "We're friends."
He blinked at his answer. It had slipped out so casually he almost hadn't noticed it. A week ago he would never have been able to say something like that so effortlessly. Now it came out fluently without a moment's hesitation.
"We're friends," he said again and found that the words didn't feel strange on his tongue. They felt natural.
"Of course you are," said Kagura. "Just like Sesshoumaru and me are friends."
Kohaku stared at her, befuddled. "Wha…"
"I mean I know what it's like to hide stuff from yourself," Kagura continued on obliviously. "I hid my feelings about Rin for a long time too. Well, not hide them but I didn't admit them. Actually I had never really thought about it until Sesshomaru pointed it out. Weird, huh?"
She stood and Kohaku was so flabbergasted he couldn't stop her nor form a complete sentence.
"Wait…you…I don't…"
"I know," Kagaru waved her hand carelessly. "Of course you don't. Anyway, I better get going. If I'm gone for too long Sesshoumaru will throw a hissy fit. Rin will be back soon too and Kami knows what she would think if she saw me in here."
She flicked her fan at him and turned towards the door. "See you later, Kohaku."
Then she was gone.
Kohaku stared at the door where the wind youkai had exited. It took him several seconds to get his brain to start working again.
What the hell had Kagura meant? Hiding stuff from himself? What could he possibly be hiding from himself? And hide his feelings about Rin? He had admitted that they were friends. What more did Kagura want him to do? Just because he wasn't running through the halls of the palace screaming at the top of his lungs that Rin and he were friends didn't mean he was hiding anything.
And what did she mean about hiding her own feelings towards Rin? So far as Kohaku knew Rin and Kagura got along swimmingly. Rin had even said she liked the wind youkai when Kohaku had first run into her again. So what did Kagura mean by it all?
Kohaku scowled. He aimed a dirty look at the door. "Stupid nosy youkai," he grumbled darkly.
The soft click of the door opening alerted him that someone was coming in. Kohaku looked up, expecting Kajuu or Jaken or Sesshoumaru or Kami knows who else besides Rin to enter. He was surprised, and delighted, to see that it was Rin with none other than Keiseki in her arms and the boar youkai bodyguard behind her.
Rin smiled brilliantly at him. "Good morning!" she greeted him cheerfully. "How are you feeling?"
Better now.
He mentally smacked himself.
"Fine," he said, offering her a small smile in return. He gave a nod of acknowledgement to Keikai, who returned it soundlessly. "Good. My wounds are healing nicely."
"Uh huh!" Rin agreed. "Maniakku-sama told me at breakfast."
She said nothing about the other things Maniakku had said to her. Kohaku didn't need to know right this very moment. She would tell him later after Keiseki had been delivered back to Sango and Miroku. He would have less on his mind then and would probably take it in better.
Rin knew Keikai wouldn't say anything either. She was good at keeping silent. Shippo on the other hand…Rin made a mental note to talk to him later.
She tilted Keiseki towards Kohaku. "Say good morning, Keiseki!"
The infant giggled and kicked her feet upon seeing her uncle. She waved her little hands at him. Kohaku obliged her by letting her seize his finger.
He grinned. "She seems to feeling good too."
"Yep!"
Rin moved away from him to place Keiseki in the makeshift crib chair.
"Where's Shippo at?" Kohaku asked her turned back curiously. He was faintly surprised the kitsune wasn't following Rin around.
"He and Souten-sama went off on their own," Rin turned back to him with a slight shrug. "They know their way around so they should be okay…Well, know their way around as much as though two possibly can anyway."
"Ah."
"Anyway it's time to get up and get going!" Rin clapped her hands together in delight, smiling broadly in excitement.
"Where are we going?"
"The field, silly. I told you I'd take you there."
Kohaku blinked, stupefied. "You did?"
"Uh huh," said Rin, already pushing the covers back. "Last night. You don't remember?"
"Uhhh," said Kohaku.
"Well, you were nearly asleep," Rin interrupted before he could form a decent reply. "But come on. It's about time you get out of this bed. The fresh air will do you some good. I know I would be going crazy if I was forced to sit in a bed for days on end."
Kohaku watched her peel the covers off of him. He didn't remember her saying anything about the field at all last night. And if he didn't remember that what else did he not remember?
Oh well, doesn't matter, he thought and tried to push it out of his mind. It still didn't stop him from feeling pretty good for absolutely no reason that he could recall though.
Shippo and Souten had somehow managed to keep themselves from getting lost in the huge expanse of halls that made up the castle. Koryu had commented at one point that it was by the grace of the gods themselves, which caused Souten to whirl around and whap him. Their wandering had eventually led them to the library of the castle and Shippo had been ecstatic.
"Come on!" he pulled impatiently on her arm. "Don't you want to know what he's got on here? Kami knows what kind of things that guy reads, he's got so many. He probably has a ton of scrolls on karma sutra alone."
"Hopefully he has a book on how to kill kitsunes and make it look like an accident," Souten snapped, pulling her arm away irritably, but following him in nonetheless.
The library was indeed impressive. There were shelves upon shelves of scrolls and other texts, some looking ancient and others looking fairly new. Souten wondered faintly if any of them were written by humans. Knowing Sesshoumaru probably not but it was possible.
For the first fifteen minutes, Shippo had acted like a hyper child set free in a candy store. He ran back and forth between shelves, oohing and aahing over titles, most of which Souten doubted he even knew what they meant, and stopping a few moments to look through the characters before racing on to something new.
Koryu was much more submissive. The little dragon had floated off to a high shelf where Souten could still see him and settled there pleasantly with a book in his lap. He made not a peep and Souten reminded herself from now whenever he started to annoy her she should just chuck a book at him.
Souten spent most of those first fifteen minutes trying to browse but getting interrupted continually by Shippo wanted to show her something new. She humored him without a snap or hiss of vexation. Shippo, too caught up in his enthusiasm, didn't notice.
After his initial flurry finally faded, Shippo became more subdued and calm, taking more time to read things and not grabbing every single text in the vicinity. They stood in a row together, glancing through the many literary works.
"Oh wow, look at this," Shippo said. "This says that a typical bed houses over six billion dust mites…Makes me want to change my sheets more."
He quickly reshelved the book and moved further down the aisle. A few more moments passed in comfortable silence and Souten glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. The kitsune was relaxed and placid. A perfect time for her to bring up what had been eating away at her the last two days.
"So," she said, sliding a book back into its shelf, trying to sound casual, "what are you going to do now that you've found Rin?"
"Bring Keiseki back to Sango and Miroku," Shippo answered easily without hesitation. "I don't know how we're going to do it exactly but no matter who goes, I'll be going with them. Keiseki needs all the protection she can get."
"Oh," said Souten mildly. She turned her head to look at him directly. "So…If Rin does stay here you won't be staying with her?"
Shippo arched an eyebrow at her, a baffled frown crossing his face. "No. Why would I do that?"
"Well, I just thought that you…you know."
"That I what?"
Souten grit her teeth, steeling her nerve. She forced the words out of her mouth before she thought better of it. "Don't you love Rin?"
She braced herself for his reaction. She figured he would either say 'Of course' or totally deny it. She hoped for the best but expected the worst. She got neither.
"I guess," Shippo shrugged. "She is my friend."
Souten stared at him. That wasn't the reaction she had been prepared for. "You guess?" she repeated slowly.
"Yeah," Shippo responded, not catching her tone.
"But…Why…Why would you travel all this way if you're not even sure if you love her?"
"I do love her," Shippo acknowledged, "but I'm not in love with her. She's my friend, a very good friend. I'd do the same thing if it were Kagome or Sango."
He paused at that, thinking back to those he had left behind at the village. Since he had left, he had been so focused on reaching Rin and his goal, and so distracted with Souten, that he had not thought about them. Kagome would be worried sick about him by now. Inuyasha was probably worried too but as soon as Shippo got back, the hanyou would waste no time in boxing him around the ears and yelling at him for leaving without saying anything. Shippo didn't look forward to their reunion.
He pushed that thought to the back of his mind, returning his attention to the present.
"Oh," Souten was saying. "So you're not in love with her?"
"Nope."
"I see." Souten turned away, back to the scrolls in front of her.
Shippo watched her dubiously. She had dropped that conversation way too fast. Even in the short time they had been reunited, he knew her better than that. "Why?" he asked her. "Why'd you want to know about that?"
A blush stained her cheeks at his words. She refused to turn lest he see it. "I was just curious," she said, straining to keep her tone inattentive.
"Oh really?" he couldn't help but prod her slyly, finding her distress absolutely amusing and endearing. "Not jealous are you?"
She stiffened slightly. "No," she ground out. "What would I have to be jealous about?"
"No reason." He pretended to go back to surveying the scrolls, glancing at her discreetly, trying to hide his grin. "It's just that only a jealous person would ask questions like that is all."
Her back snapped straight as a rod, her shoulders going taunt. "I am not jealous," she snapped hotly. "I only planned to laugh at you for holding the hopeless conviction that you could get any female."
Shippo snorted haughtily. Her words had stung him a bit. If there was one thing Shippo prided himself on, it was his dealings with the opposite sex.
"I could have any girl I wanted," he stated conceitedly, stinging because stung. "Any girl."
Souten's eyes narrowed dangerously. His words had stabbed her in the wrong way and the tension she had been carrying around inside her finally snapped. She slammed shut the scroll in her hands. Without a word, she stalked towards the door.
"Where are you going?" Shippo moved to follow her.
She ground to a halt, one hand fisted by her side, the other tightly gripping Raigekijin. "Why do you always follow me?" she growled lowly, her back still facing him.
Shippo frowned, perplexed by this question. "Huh?"
She whirled on him, eyes wide and fierce, teeth flashing between her red lips. "If you can have any girl you want then why the hell are you bothering me!" she virtually screamed at him.
Shippo stared at her, stunned by her outraged reaction. "What's your problem?"
Souten clenched her teeth. She tried to reign in her emotions, barely managing to stop herself from braining the kitsune right there. "Nothing," she hissed. "Nothing. Just…Leave me alone."
Then she turned back around and stalked off without a backwards glance. Shippo watched her go. He didn't have the mind to go after her; he was still reeling a bit from her last response. He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.
He had wanted to see if she was truly jealous but that plan had apparently backfired. He hadn't meant to make her that upset. He had just wanted to see if she cared.
"What a bitch," he muttered. "Where the hell did that come from?"
He looked up and saw Koryu leaning out of the shelf he had been reading on.
"Don't you think that was a little excessive?" Shippo appealed to the little dragon.
Koryu gave him a flat, disapproving look. Just like Souten, without uttering a word, he spread his wings and flew out of the room after his mistress.
"Whatever," Shippo spat to the dragon's silence.
He returned to pawing through the scrolls, reminding himself that she was a bitch and she had been the one to start it. But no matter how many times he repeated that to himself, it didn't stop him from feeling like an inconsiderate jerk.
If there was one thing in the world that drove Sesshoumaru crazy, besides being forced to think intensely about certain matters for hours on end (Sesshoumaru had always considered himself more of a doer than a thinker, though there were those - namely Kagura - who would discredit this standpoint), it was this: bad smells.
He had been granted the awesome gift of an exceptional nose. He could sniff out just about anybody no matter how far away they were, he could smell poisons that might exist in food, and he could distinguish relatively easily one scent from another. The bad part about his giftwas that he could smell everything, even things he didn't want to smell.
As he stood in front of the stables with Kajuu and the greasy, nearly toothless stablemaster, whose name Sesshoumaru couldn't recall for the life of him, it was all he could do to stop himself from retching. The smell…the smell from the stables was simply wretched. He could not recall the time it had ever smelled thisbad before and the hot late afternoon sun shining overhead wasn't helping matters either.
It was apparent that they had fallen behind on their cleaning schedule. The work with the ore had occupied most of his workers' time and the clean up from the broken blacksmith. The number of stablehands had also decreased with the death of Dezaia, not that Sesshoumaru minded. He'd take the atrocious smell over that piece of trash anyday.
If only I got to kill him myself…But that scum denied me even that little piece of satisfaction.
Fighting the urge to pinch his nose shut, Sesshoumaru brought his attention to the stablemaster.
"I didn't really know him that well honestly," the stablemaster was saying. Kajuu had asked him about Dezaia. "He didn't have any family that I can recall but he got along with everybody well enough. At least with the other stablehands anyway. Nothing he ever did really stands out to me, except for that recent incident and uhhh…the day he got his arm cut."
The youkai looked directly up at Sesshoumaru's face upon saying that. Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes a smidgen in response. He knew exactly what the stablemaster was referring to. The day he had caught Dezaia with Rin.
The other incident the stablemaster had referred to, the more recent one, was when Dezaia had abducted AhUn. And consequently he had returned with Rin and the taijiya right after taking off without authorization.
That alone made Sesshoumaru suspicious. How had the dog demon known Rin was out there?
"He didn't-" Sesshoumaru stopped himself to clear his throat. The tightness of his esophagus due to the smell was making his voice sound more like a squeak. "He didn't take AhUn out any other time besides that?"
"Not without consent, no. We exercise the mounts on a nearly daily basis-"
"Right."
"But they never go far. They certainly don't go flying off into the woods willy-nilly."
Sesshoumaru couldn't help but find it outlandishly disturbing that this youkai would use the word 'willy-nilly'. Cute words like that didn't suit this squalid specimen. It was like a child saying fuck without any mischievous intention of purposely trying to make its mother mad.
"He was forbidden from tending AhUn after that," the stablemaster continued. "I don't believe he was assigned to any other position after being removed from the stables. At least nothing was mentioned to me anyway."
"Who ordered that he be removed?" Sesshoumaru asked.
"Jogon was the one ordered it."
Sesshoumaru looked to Kajuu out of the corner of his eye, waiting for the tiger to confirm the statement. Kajuu looked mildly back at him.
"Jogon never mentioned that to me," he said. "I was actually unaware of it."
"Unaware of it?"
"Jogon must have done it without my jurisdiction," Kajuu replied without pause. "At that time I had my hands full with the arrival of Rin and the taijiya, and the general chaos that action caused. The stablehand, though I am sorry to admit it, was the furthest worriment from my mind."
Sesshoumaru turned fully towards him, ignoring the stable master for the time being, and focusing all his attention, and rising anger, on his second-in-command. "So you never bothered to wonder how in Kami's name this stable hand abducts a mount from here and magically returns with Rin?"
Kajuu was silent for a moment, looking back at him. Sesshoumaru could faintly see a twitch in the other's neck, a clear indication that Kajuu's pulse had quickened.
"At the time," Kajuu spoke slowly, meticulously, his eyes never leaving Sesshoumaru's, "I wasn't aware of where Rin-sama was even located. My lord didn't divulge that information to me before he left for the council."
"If you didn't even know," Sesshoumaru responded bitingly, "how did that rubbish possibly know?"
Kajuu didn't need to ask who the 'rubbish' Sesshoumaru was referring to was. "I don't know." He swallowed and finally blinked, ceasing their staring contest. "Perhaps Jogon told him. But I thought that was the reason we were out here in the first place, my lord?"
Sesshoumaru stifled the urge to slug him in the face. A fight right then sounded rather good. It would certainly help to relieve some of Sesshoumaru's frayed nerves. In the past, whenever he had been under a large amount of stress, he had mitigated it by slaughtering a village or two, or by pounding on Inuyasha a bit. But that was before he had taken her in…
Grinding his teeth at having reminded himself once again of the entire reason he has now stuck in this situation, Sesshoumaru looked back to the stable master, who had been waiting with silent, repressed curiosity at the two's exchange. The stable master was smart enough to know his place and the fact that Kajuu and Sesshoumaru were debating heatedly in front of him didn't disturb nor frighten him. He just stood there and waited for the moment to be over.
"That day," Sesshoumaru said cryptically, "when he had his arm cut. How did he act?"
It was as much of a way to gauge the late Dezaia himself as the stable master. Sesshoumaru was curious as to how the grimy youkai had responded to the punishment he had exacted on the stable hand.
The stable master shrugged impassively. "He was angry. He said he didn't deserve it. I told him to get back to work. I don't need whiny babies working here. He was bit moodier after that, I think. He talked less."
That answer piqued Sesshoumaru's interest a bit. Although it didn't take a genius to figure out Dezaia had more than likely been plotting ways to get back at Sesshoumaru for his humiliation.
"What happened to Dezaia's quarters after he was removed from his position?"
"I assume he kept them. I didn't order for him to move."
So he was never put in a position where he might have had his quarters moved into or closer to the castle, Sesshoumaru thought. He wasn't put on a watch at all and having been removed from here he had the free time to move around without question. He had it set up perfectly where he would be free to do as he wished. A holiday so to speak.
Sesshoumaru nodded slightly to the stable master. The stable master bowed in return and Sesshoumaru turned to leave, Kajuu trailing him.
"You didn't have the stable hand put on a watch?" he asked quietly to Kajuu, keeping his voice low so the soldiers around them wouldn't hear.
Kajuu lengthened his stride to draw even with his lord. "No," he answered. "None of us thought there was a need to. We were more concerned with the taijiya's seemingly more threatening presence than Dezaia's. We never considered Dezaia a threat, just a troublesome youngster who wanted to be a hero."
Sesshoumaru almost snorted at that. A hero? Dezaia had proven himself to be the exact opposite of that.
Not that he could condone Kajuu for thinking that way. It didn't surprise him that his second in command had not considered Dezaia a candidate for commination. Kajuu had been ignorant of the activity Rin and the young dog demon had conspired to do in the stable after all.
"You're dismissed," Sesshoumaru spoke. "That's enough for today. I'm retiring for the night."
He glanced at the sun, which was sinking rapidly. It would be evening soon and Sesshoumaru was growing exhausted.
In the side of his vision, Kajuu bowed deeply then departed on his own path. With him gone, Sesshoumaru entered the castle alone. Hidden in the darkness, he pinched the bridge of his nose.
Physical strain rarely managed to make him tired. He could fight for hours on end without needing a break. Thinking and trying to decipher complicated dilemma's on the other hand tended to stress his stamina. This is why he always considered himself more of a doer than a thinker. He always preferred actions to words, and everyone knew he was a man of little words. He liked things that were easy to solve and therefore that much more easy to be forgotten. He hated hard problems.
Which was another reason why he usually allowed time to elapse and the offender to reveal themselves through a slip up of their own or pure frustration.
How bothersome things were.
Rotating his shoulders to dispel some of the tightness he felt forming there, he turned and walked in the direction of his bedroom, eager for some rest and a closed room where only he and his thoughts could reside for a while.
The path to his quarters also took him across the hall that led to entrance to the field and as he neared it he could smell the scent of Rin, Keikai, the baby, and the brat taijiya.
His muscles tightened at that last scent. Narrowing his eyes, he stopped a discrete distance from the door that led to the field, far enough back where they wouldn't be able to recognize him, and peered through the open archway.
Amidst the grass and flowers of the field, he could see Rin standing close to the boulder, the baby in her arms. On top of the boulder in her customary spot sat Keikai and underneath her, leaning against the side of the rock, was the taijiya brat himself.
Sesshoumaru's lip ticked before he realized he was even performing the action. Forcibly, he smoothed his mouth into a firm line.
Rin's side was to him and he could see the profile of her face as she spoke to the brat taijiya. Even while she was in the midst of speaking, there was a curve of a smile to her lips and when the taijiya responded to her, she laughed and across her face he could see the blithe lines, the merriment, the pure happiness she got from simply hearing the man speak.
Sesshoumaru tore his gaze away. He ground his teeth together. Suddenly he didn't feel so exhausted. Rather he felt full of energy and as tight as a spring just waiting to be sprung.
He resumed his walk down the hallway but this time in a different direction. His mind needed something to occupy itself right now and staring at his bedroom wall didn't sound too appealing nor pleasing. Besides, Kagura might be in there and he was in no mood to participate in a verbal spar with her. He knew his mate well enough to know she would ask questions about his snippy attitude then proceed to get snippy in return when he refused to answer.
He realized in his hurrying state that the guards around him were giving him strange looks. He could feel their gazes in his back muscles. It wouldn't look good if his subjects witnessed their lord running around like a demon possessed.
He forced himself to slow down and took a deep, imperceptible steadying breath. His taunt form began to relax and he counted slowly to ten.
Control was one of the things he hated losing most. When this happened it typically ended with somebody getting killed. It was starting to dawn on him now that lately he had had no control over anything. There were times when he had been sure that he had restored command, like when he had given Rin the conception medicine and when he made the decision to leave her at the village, only to have those efforts thrown back in his face as the girl drudged up another loop to swindle away yet again his authority over matters.
And she wasn't even doing it on purpose!
She wasn't doing it to spite him or to try and piss him off. What she was doing was what he knew she would always do if put into that situation. She was doing what seemed the most natural option. What her heart told her to do.
In the short amount of time she had been out of his care, she seemed to have grown considerably. She seemed more mature, more independent. No longer was she the small, dirty urchin that had clung to his leg, the one who had looked up at him with such large eyes that made him feel like he was the center of an universe. She didn't rely on him anymore, had taken care of things herself. She didn't even want his company anymore.
Sesshoumaru recalled vaguely the argument Kagura and he had had after the conception medicine. When she had accused him of being paranoid and that Rin was going to grow up no matter what he did.
Yes, that was true. Sesshoumaru had known that from the beginning. But had he accepted it?
That thought disturbed him, disturbed him so much that he came to a halt in the middle of the hallway, blinking in the last rays of sunlight filtering through the small windows.
Had he accepted the fact Rin was going to grow up?
He blinked slowly.
He had never looked at it that way before. He had only looked at in the way of what he was going to do about it. He had tried ignoring it, had tried preventing it in small ways, had tried doing things to detour it, had tried…well, almost everything he could think of outside of killing her or sending her away. But he hadn't tried accepting it.
Then again…Did it matter if he accepted it or not?
Obviously it doesn't.
Strengthening his resolve, he continued on his way. The best thing to do would be to focus on the assassins. After that was straightened out, then maybe he would try to deal with Rin. Of course that may not work at all, as the girl was unquestionably ignoring him.
Sesshoumaru snorted.
If she wanted to ignore him, fine. It didn't matter anyway. He was the Lord of the West. He could order her around if he wanted to.
Sesshoumaru rounded the bend leading to the library. Abruptly he halted.
Kitsune. He could smell the kitsune's scent.
Cracking his knuckles, narrowing his eyes a little bit, he approached the entrance with steady, precise movements often seen in cats stalking their prey. He could hear the kitsune too, shuffling around. What was the bastard doing in the library?
He turned to face into the room and across from him he could easily see the kitsune. The youngster was perched on the rung of a ladder used to reach the higher shelves, pawing through a book. Sprawled around him were several dozen stacks of books and scrolls. Apparently he had been in there for quite a while.
He must have sensed him too for, though Sesshoumaru made not a sound, he looked up from the book he had been reading. Upon seeing the dog lord, he instantly froze and Sesshoumaru could have sworn he saw the youngster's tail frizz up a little bit.
They stared at each other for several long tense moments, silence blaringly loud around them.
Finally, Shippo smiled nervously. "Umm…Hi," he offered lamely.
Sesshoumaru didn't bother responding to that useless comment. "What are you doing?" he demanded instead.
The kitsune coughed as if abashed. He rubbed the back of his neck. "I was looking for something."
He raised his eyes to Sesshoumaru's own and Sesshoumaru could tell he was in the mood to chat. Inwardly, Sesshoumaru groaned.
"Do girls like poetry?" the kitsune asked abruptly.
Sesshoumaru stared at him. Then he blinked, very slowly. And blinked again.
Perhaps I did not hear him right.
"What?" he responded.
The kitsune frowned and scratched the tip of his ear. "I remember someone mentioning it once…I think it was Miroku."
Sesshoumaru nearly snorted, barely restraining himself from doing so. That brat is doomed if he is taking advice from that monk.
Another thought occurred to him then and he narrowed his eyes. "Who is the poetry for?" he asked suspiciously.
The kitsune blushed but didn't look guilty. Or terribly afraid for that matter. "Nobody." He barred his teeth and in the wan light coming through the window Sesshoumaru could see his hand curl into a fist. "She can just be so stubborn sometimes," he seethed. "She gets so angry and I feel like it's my fault but it's her fault too. I feel guilty and she doesn't. Is that how it's supposed to work?"
Sesshoumaru shrugged one shoulder apathetically, unruffled and untouched by the kitsune's frustration. "People only feel guilty because they have something to be guilty about," he answered offhandedly.
The kitsune's shoulders slumped. Apparently that was not the answer he had wanted to hear.
"Yeah," he sighed. "I guess I do owe her an apology. She's really helped me a lot and I haven't been exactly appreciative. I guess I have been rather selfish and ungrateful lately."
Sesshoumaru glanced to the side, stifling the urge to yawn. "Perhaps you should tell her then," he said, mostly because he was tired of this conversation and it was an easy and cliché conclusion to reach.
The kitsune frowned again. "Souten doesn't need anyone," he said dejectedly, quietly. His frown hardened and he regained his composure. "Besides," he continued, voice much more intense and forceful, "it's not like I like her or anything. She's irritating. I could easily find somebody else."
Sesshoumaru really did snort this time, not even bothering to try and repress it. "You both need to learn to stop lying to yourselves."
He turned to leave but the kitsune called him back. Sesshoumaru halted, his back facing the kitsune.
"Thanks for listening to me," Shippo said, a small smile curving the corners of his mouth. He laughed a little nervously. "You know, when you dropped Rin off at the village I thought you were trying to kill me! Funny, huh?"
Sesshoumaru looked over his shoulder, just enough so that Shippo could see his profile. He smirked evilly, moonlight glinting off his fangs. "Who says I wasn't?"
Shippo stopped laughing, something audible to a squeak coming from between his lips. Chucking silently to himself, Sesshoumaru walked away, leaving the frightened kitsune alone.
He was pretty glad he had stopped by the library. Scaring the daylights out of the kitsune had made him feel a little better. And it had also revealed that the fox's attentions and intentions lay elsewhere besides Rin. They were, as Sesshoumaru had predicted, focused on the Thunder Beast Queen, as odd as that was.
Of course neither of them had come to grips with their feelings. They were both lying to themselves.
The words hit Sesshoumaru like a cold slap in the face and for the second time that night he stopped in the middle of the hall.
Lying to themselves….
It reminded him strongly of the night he had asked Kagura if she did indeed love a human and the answer Kagura had given him. He remembered the expression on her face, the look of awakening in her eyes, as if she hadn't comprehended what she felt until he had confronted her with it. Kagura and Keikai both had come to terms with their love for a human. They had accepted it rather than trying to lie to themselves out of it. They had both come to grips with it.
Sesshoumaru had just told Shippo that he should stop lying to himself about Souten but maybe…maybe Sesshoumaru was the one lying to himself.
And maybe…maybe it was time he took his own advice.
Maybe it was time that Sesshoumaru came to grips with himself.
It was late into the night by the time Shippo left the library. Yawning widely, he stepped into the hall, rubbing his blurry eyelids. Reading all those books and scrolls had made his back, eyes, and brain hurt. Regardless of his aches and pains, he felt entirely triumphant and satisfied. He had accomplished what he had set out to do. Now all he had to do was deliver it.
Furrowing his brow, he peered down either direction of the hall. He couldn't remember which way his room was. He hadn't been paying attention when Souten and he had wandered down here some hours before.
Shrugging indifferently, Shippo picked a direction and started down it, figuring either direction was better than nothing.
The hall was darker than Shippo had anticipated and he cursed mildly under his breath.
"Oi, lookie here."
Shippo nearly leaped out of his skin. He whirled, heart thundering in his chest, claws stiff, trying vainly to discern who the voice belonged to. His eyesight was better than a human's in the dark but not good enough for him to see absolutely clearly. He could only make out vague shapes.
"Whose there?"
"Hey it's the kitsune brat," said a second voice, followed by the first one, "Aye, aye, it is."
It must be the guards, Shippo quickly concluded. No one else would be out here this late and they talked in a short, harsh, unrefined way that soldiers commonly used.
"What are you doing out here so late, boy?" the first voice called out. "Don't you know it's past your bedtime?"
A few snickers sounded from the darkness and a cold feeling crept down Shippo's spine. There was nothing friendly about that voice and Shippo could literally hear the sneer in it. The hairs on the back of his neck started to rise. Against his back he could already feel the beginnings of a cold sweat breaking out.
Hopefully they just wanted to make fun of him a little and let him go. He could live with a bit of hurt pride.
He thought he saw a movement to his right. Hastily he turned to address it.
"I got lost," he replied into the darkness, managing to keep his voice steady. "Do you know where my room is?"
"Did you now? Well, that's too bad," came the silky, malicious reply. "We'll help you find it though. Won't we, boys?"
There was laughter, more than one in response, and out of the darkness three shadows detached themselves. They laughed like anxious, eager hounds that had just cornered their quarry.
Shippo backed up until his back met the wall, his hand already forming a fist. Carefully he watched the three shapes circle in. He waited for the attack to come.
"Damn…"
Heeeeeeeee!
I'm going to forego individual replies because it's been...like two years since I wrote something like this. I'm a bad bad author! Hopefully I can pick it up again next chapter. I am so sorry!