Disclaimer; own nothing

Tag to 5x19

A/N: Thanks to Raccoonsmate4life for reading over this for me

Kensi was certain she was going to die.

She didn't regret her decision to go after Jack, she just regretted what it might have cost her.

Kensi knew that Jack was still a good man and she was right, but lying in that cave, she was being suffocated by thoughts of Marty Deeks and what ifs.

Now, Kensi is safe, sitting beside who she hopes is her future.

So many things are up in the air between them and she doesn't know where they stand.

Kensi can feel his concerned eyes falling on her as she pretends to sleep.

All through the flight, Deeks watches her and prays she can come back to him. Watching her beaten frame stumble to the chopper broke his heart. She fell into Jack's arms and Deeks let her go. When they finally spoke, his heart felt like it was going to burst. Her wavering voice and tears are burned into his brain and he can't ever forget it, he just hopes one day, she can.

When they arrive in LA, everyone is exhausted. With quick goodbyes and plans for next week, Deeks and Kensi headed to her car.

"Where do you want to go?"

His voice was hesitant, scared the break in silence would startle her. Kensi's response was simple and determined.

"Home."

Deeks pulled up at Kensi's home and that's when she spoke for the second time in what felt like a day.

"No. Take me home."

They arrived at Deeks' place and Kensi headed straight to the bedroom.

The comforting smell that was uniquely Deeks surrounded her and she finally felt like she could breathe again.

It was that moment that Kensi decided that she wouldn't let this destroy them, destroy her. She needed to forget what happened and move forward, and she needed to that with him.

When Deeks entered the room, Kensi launched herself at him.

Their lips crashed and she wrapped her legs around his waist. Deeks stumbled back under the unexpected weight, and they fell on the bed. Kensi attacked his mouth once more and darted her tongue out to trace his lips.

Deeks reluctantly pushed Kensi back and looked questioningly in her eyes.

"Kens, what's going on?"

Her breathless answer broke his heart once more.

"Just please Marty. I just need to forget. I just need... I just need you."

Kensi rocked against the hardening cock she felt beneath her. Deeks let out a groan as her hands scrapped his scalp and her tongue fought with his.

Soon clothes were gone and Kensi was pinned underneath him. Her legs wrapped tightly around him and Deeks found his was home after five months.

His thrusts were deep and languid. Kensi gasped with each push and her legs became tighter. Five months had left her tight and aching for him.

"Please Marty. Harder."

The need for Deeks was consuming Kensi and she felt like she couldn't breath. She needed him to make her forget the last few months and just fuck her. Deeks complied with her demands and he pulled out of her and rolled Kensi on her back. He pulled her up on her knees and slammed into her.

Kensi let out a moan of pleasure and clutched at the pillow on front her. Deeks pounded into her and Kensi felt herself growing hotter. It got harder to breath and she really needed to come.

Reaching around, Deeks grabbed on her breast and squeezed just as Kensi's own hand found her clit. She rubbed herself furiously just as Deeks' thrusts got faster and harder. Kensi's climax hit her and she collapsed on the bed with a scream. Deeks thrusted into her once, twice more and echoed her moans with his own.

After coming down from her high, Kensi rolled over and cured up to the warm body beside her. She let out a sigh of contentment as his arms got tighter around her and he kissed her head.

It was here, surrounded by Marty Deeks, did Kensi feel like she could start to heal.