Olivia's P.O.V

"Nessa?"

I walked the corridors searching for her but not one whisper did I hear.

I was getting worried.

I couldn't find White either.

"Nessa!"

I turned to the sound of steady footfall.

"Nessa. You scared me! Where were you?" I asked as I pulled her into a hug and smoothed back her hair.

"Sorry."

I loosened my grip and she backed away.

It was almost time to take the cast off her arm.

From what I could gather it'd been about 2 weeks maybe longer.

It was hard to remember things here.

There were no calendars or clocks.

The only way to tell time was by watching the sun but it was never very accurate for me.

We had routines that defined our day.

They'd turned into times that's why it was often concerning when Nessa went off somewhere.

I often found now that difference scared me.

I was so used to the same thing I was too afraid for change.

"So?"

"I wasn't anywhere just in the bathroom." She shrugged her shoulders and walked off.

...

"Olivia? Darling I'm home."

Every time he called me with such adoration it made me want to crawl into the ground.

Elliot used to call me those things when we lay in bed together, when he got home, whenever we were together...

"I...I'm in here." I stuttered.

I heard him enter the kitchen as the water in the sink swirled down the drain.

I just stayed standing with my knuckles turning white with the force of which I was holding the edge of the sink.

I dared not move in case he didn't want me too.

"Olivia." He said flatly.

'Was that an order?'

"Y...yes."

"Turn around. Face me. You have nothing to be afraid of. I love you."

I could hear his footsteps getting closer.

I slowly turned to face him but my eyes stayed on the ground.

"You don't love me...if you did you'd let me go." I whispered.

He was over in a flash with his lips so close to my ear I could feel the spittle bounce off his lips.

"What did you say?"

I didn't realise I was shaking until I had to steady myself.

He began to play with my hair.

He smoothed it through his fingers and smelt it as he waited for a reply.

"I...I said you don't love me."

This came out as a barely audible whisper.

His fist smashed against the bench.

I jumped and felt a small tear slide down my cheek.

"Dammit Olivia! You just don't get it do you?"

He grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me close while shaking me.

I refused to look him in the eye so eventually he released me and shoved me into the cabinets causing glass to shake and rattle.

"You think Stabler loved you! I've given you everything he never could. Don't you see that? I gave you the daughter you always wanted, the perfect house, beautiful clothes. I gave you a family! But no Stabler already had a family. He had Kathy and 5 kids! He doesn't need you! He's just using you! I've given you everything Olivia and all I ask in return is that you fulfil your wifely duties."

My tears were free falling now.

"He does love me!" I screamed at him.

He only laughed.

"Then why isn't he here? Huh? Tell me that Olivia why isn't he here to take you home?" he whispered the last sentence as he walked towards me.

I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out.

I didn't know.

"He...He's coming I know he is..."

"How Olivia? Face it he's gone back to Kathy. You'll never be as good as Kathy Olivia. You've known it all along on the inside."

"You're wrong..." I croak.

"Elliot would never leave me."

"I have proof."

For the first time I look up to him and he see's my tear streaked face.

He doesn't look pleased he looks sympathetic but I know better.

"Then show me." I say flatly.

White pulls some paper out of his bag before waiting for me to come closer.

"Here he is going in. Here he is in her room and here he is leaving the next morning."

I snatch the photos from him and flip through them about 10 times.

"He wouldn't..." I whisper to myself.

"But he did. You've seen the proof Olivia. He doesn't love you. He loves her."

He placed his hands on my shoulders and caressed them with his thumbs.

I tensed.

"No."

"What?"

"No!"

I threw the photos into the sink and pounded on White's chest.

He just pulled me to him and held me.

I cried in his arms.

He smoothed back my hair and kissed my head.

The only thing that was running through my mind was:

Where's Elliot when I need him?

...

That night he raped me again.

But something changed.

I didn't think of Elliot.

I didn't think of him touching me instead of white and for the first time since White had taken me I didn't dream of him rescuing me.

He wasn't coming.

He didn't love me.