Chapter Thirty-Seven

"He hits Jessie and their children." Those were the words Carol whispered to me as we all walked into Glenn and Maggie's house. "Don't think Pete is innocent."

We crowded into the kitchen that evening. Rosita saw to Rick's injuries—apparently I had missed the part where Rick and Pete went through a window during their fight. I was still covered in dirt, so I was trying hard not to touch any of Glenn and Maggie's furniture.

I think Glenn and Maggie's was the unspoken place to meet because Maggie was Deanna's secretary. I think we all figured she would know more, and, well, we kind of weren't wrong.

"Oh," Maggie said, watching me carefully position myself so that I wouldn't get anything dirty. "You started planting."

She said it with a wobbly kind of smile. I knew she must be thinking about her father.

"Yeah. We'll see how good of a student I was." Even though my hand was still coated in dirt, Maggie slipped hers into mine and gave it a squeeze before turning to everyone else.

I noticed Carl and Judith were not there. I didn't think that was fair. We treated Carl like an adult in so many ways, and then as a child at will—we didn't get to choose which roles, child or adult. The world had already taken that from Carl.

Michonne was also absent. She was standing watch over Rick while he was unconscious.

Maggie took a deep breath. "Deanna is thinking about exiling Rick."

"That ain't a surprise," Abraham muttered under his breath. We knew what had happened with the construction crew, how they almost left a woman to die. And we knew about Nicholas, of course.

I knew where Daryl would stand on this matter. I didn't even have to ask him; without a question, he would not abandon Rick. And neither would Carl.

"If they kick Rick out, Carl will take Judith and follow," I said. Everyone looked over at me.

"You know he would. He's not going to leave his father. And neither would leave Judith."

"Livy's right," Maggie said. "I've already told Deanna as much. She said Carl and Judith could stay, but I told her that wasn't likely to happen."

Glenn ran his hands down his face. There were dark circles under his eyes. I think it was understandable that he wouldn't be getting a lot of sleep, considering what happened to Noah.

"Deanna also said that anyone who wanted to could stay. She said it would be Rick's exile, not our exile."

"That's all she said?" Rosita asked. Tara and Eugene also weren't there; both were in the infirmary, Tara still unconscious and Eugene standing guard.

"She said it wasn't her choice. She said she was going to let it be a vote among all the citizens."

Deanna really was a politician. Hopefully, though, she would stick to her word and not overrule the vote if it turned out in Rick's favor.

I don't think any of us slept much that night. I know my mind was racing as I laid in bed. It felt too big without Daryl there, especially considering the day's events. I just wanted to talk to him, try to make sense of our ever-changing lives.

The next day Glenn came to me while I was taking a break from working, lying in the shade cast by the walls. I was just staring at the clouds, trying to cool off some.

"Hey," he said, the shade growing darker as his shadow fell over me. "Deanna is having a meeting tonight."

"About Rick?" I asked, turning my head to look up at him. Glenn nodded.

"It's some bullshit."

Apparently it had been no secret that Pete wasn't exactly a doting husband and father. But the fact that he had medical training cancelled that out. Gotta love that logic.

"I know," Glenn said softly, and then he left. I turned my gaze back to the sky and let out an exasperated noise.

I should have held true to my word when I told Daryl I was going with him all the time, but no, I wanted to farm because it was sentimental. If I'd been persistent, I could have been outside of the walls, not dealing with the backwards logic of Alexandria.

I decided to stick to my work. I didn't really want to talk to anyone, anyway. I stayed in the field as long as I could, then I went home and showered and waited for Deanna's meeting to roll around.

Rick and Pete weren't in attendance at the meeting.

"I'm sure not a lawyer, but I'm pretty sure the accused are supposed to be at the trial," I muttered to Eugene, who I was sitting beside. One of the Alexandrians, whose name I honestly didn't know, heard me.

"It's not a trial. It's just a panel," she snapped at me. I waited until she turned around and then rolled my eyes. Call it what you want.

"You are correct, though. In the previous American justice system, a person on trial was required to be present for the presentation of evidence so as to have an opportunity to defend themselves either through a lawyer or their own means."

I smiled at Eugene and patted his arm. "I don't know how we made it before we had this encyclopedia you have up in that head of yours."

We were all seated around a bonfire someone had built.

"We're going to start," Deanna announced. We all turned to face her.

"Can we wait?" Maggie asked, stepping forward. "There's still people coming. Glenn, Rick."

I didn't know if Rick would be coming, but it was odd that Glenn wasn't around. I had no idea where he was, but purposefully keeping your face in the dirt all day is a pretty good way to lose track of your friends.

"We're going to start," Deanna said again, completely ignoring Maggie. "It's already dark."

I thought this was a place to hear each other out, I thought to myself. I was already annoyed with the way things were being handled, and the feeling was only getting stronger.

"We're going to talk about what happened," Deanna continued. "Not the fight. Not what precipitated it. We're dealing with that. We're going to talk about one of our constables, Rick Grimes. We're going to talk about how he had a pistol he stole from the armory, about how he pointed it at people, and we're going to talk about what he said."

I didn't even know what Rick had said. I had gotten to the fight too late. What I did know was that I was getting angry that we were discussing Rick when they had been letting a dangerous man live in Alexandria for who knows how long.

"I was hoping he would be here." The condescending look on Deanna's face said she was actually hoping the opposite.

"He said he's coming," Michonne told her, biting her words at Deanna.

"I'm sure he'll be here, and I'm sure we can work this all out" Carol added in a softer tone. I nodded. I didn't trust myself to speak with the building anger in my chest.

I was mad enough that I missed the beginning of what Michonne was saying. I guess Deanna had asked if anyone wanted to speak, but I was up in my head, wishing Daryl was there.

"…and after being out there, and then not being how you were out there…it can drive you crazy. Rick just wants his family to live. He wants all of you to live. Who he is, is who you're gonna be… if you're lucky."

And then Carol spoke:

"Rick Grimes saved my life over and over. There's terrifying people out there, and he rescued me from them. People like me, people like us, need people like him. I know what happened last night was scary, and I'm sure he's sorry for that. But maybe we should listen to what he was saying."

When she was done, Carol turned to me with a pointed look. I sighed and stood up.

"I know y'all think you know what the world is like out there, but you don't. You don't. Not until you meet people that are more animal than human, people whose only goal is to kill you and take what you have so they might live another day. I can't even tell you how many people we've met like that, but I can tell you this: I would not have made it without Rick."

I turned to look Deanna in the eyes. "I told Deanna when I was interviewed that I would follow Rick anywhere. And I still stand by that."

I wanted her to understand that if Rick was gone, I would be, too.

Abraham stood up as soon as I sat back down.

"Simply put, there is a vast ocean of shit that you people don't know shit about. Rick knows every fine grain of said shit, and then some."

I couldn't stop the smirk that spread across my face at Abraham's word choice.

Next came Maggie's turn.

"My father respected Rick Grimes. Rick is a father, too. He's a man with a good heart, who feels the things he does, the things he has to do. And all of us who were together before this place, no matter when we found each other, we're family now. Rick started that."

Maggie turned to look at Deanna, just like I had. "And you won't stop it. You can't. And you don't want to. This community, you people…that family…you want to be a part of it, too."

"Before we hear from anyone else, I, uh. I would like to share something in the spirit of transparency. Father Gabriel came to see me the day before yesterday and he said our new arrivals can't be trusted, that they were dangerous, that they would put themselves before this community. And not one day later, Rick seemed to demonstrate all the things Father Gabriel said."

Well, if I had been mad before, I was seething then. If it hadn't been for us, Gabriel would have died in the forest. We saved him.

"I had hoped Gabriel would be here tonight."

"I don't see him here, Deanna." Jessie, Pete's wife, spoke up. "So you're just saying what someone said. Did you tape him?"

I hadn't ever talked to Jessie before, but she instantly got my respect that night.

"He's not here," Maggie backed Jessie up.

"Neither is Rick," Deanna snapped, and this time I couldn't stop myself from rolling my eyes.

"Excuse me," Maggie said, and she turned to leave.

"Okay, but how are we supposed to know Gabriel really said that?" I asked, no longer able to bite my tongue. "Pretty much everyone here was a witness to the fight. That's undeniable evidence. But only you supposedly heard Gabriel say we were dangerous. That wouldn't hold in a court of law where you weren't judge, jury, and executioner."

Deanna turned to look at me. I met her glare evenly.

Another man stood to speak. He was an Alexandrian.

"I just want to keep my family safe, you know? And I don't even know what that means anymore, but if it means that we've got to get rid of—"

But he was cut off. He didn't get to finish his thought, because Rick appeared with blood covering his face and a walker slung over his shoulder. He threw it down in front of us. Some lady screamed.

Rick was breathing heavily. It took him a moment to catch his breath.

"There wasn't a guard on the gate. It was open."

"I asked Gabriel to close it," Deanna's son, Spencer, said.

"Go!" Deanna barked at him. Spencer ran off.

"I didn't bring it in," Rick said, stepping towards the group of people. "It got inside on its own. They always will—the dead and the living because we're in here, and the ones out there, they'll hunt us. They'll find us. They'll try to use us. They'll try to kill us. But we'll kill them. We'll survive. I'll show you how."

I wasn't sure if those were the right words to say to these people. I mean, we'd been telling them for the whole time we were in Alexandria that they weren't prepared for what was out there, but they hadn't listened to us yet. Still, that didn't stop Rick from turning his attention to Deanna and her husband Reg.

"I was thinkin'…I was thinkin', how many of you do I have to kill to save your lives? But I'm not gonna do that. You're gonna change. I'm not sorry for what I said last night. I'm sorry for not saying it sooner. You're not ready, but you have to be. Right now, you have to be. Luck runs out."

The Governor, Terminus…they had taught us that. Never to trust luck. Alexandria hadn't had those lessons yet.

"You're not one of us."

Pete's words tore our attention away from Rick. He looked crazed, carrying a sword I soon recognized as Michonne's. I felt my eyes widen as I glanced at her. I knew she wasn't carrying it anymore—though she'd been allowed to keep it—but I didn't think she'd leave it somewhere someone else could get it.

"You're not one of us!" Pete screamed. I think everyone in our group tensed up, ready to come to Rick's aid in that moment, while the Alexandrians backed away in fear.

Except Reg. He bravely went towards Pete.

"Pete, you don't want to do this," Reg tried to reason.

"Get the hell away from me, Reg." Pete shied away from Reg's touch, but Reg continued to try to stop him.

"Pete, just stop."

"Get away from me."

Deanna began calling to Reg, but she didn't approach the two men. She only repeated Reg's name, trying to draw his attention.

I was completely focused on the whole thing. As Pete struggled against Reg, he lifted Michonne's sword. I'm not sure if Pete really intended to do it or not, but with as he pushed against Reg, Pete sliced into his throat.

There was a collective gasp as blood began to spray from Reg's wound. Deanna screamed. It was too deep, and Alexandria's resident doctor was out of his mind as well as being the one to inflict the damage. There was no hope for Reg. He crumpled and bled out in seconds as Deanna clung to him.

Abraham threw Pete down on the ground, pinning him so he couldn't move. I hung back, standing with Carol and Eugene. I glanced at Carol, but she was staring at Pete. If you didn't know her, I don't think anyone would have noticed the way she was shaking ever so slightly.

"It's him!" Pete screamed, struggling against Abraham's weight. "This is him!"

Yeah, because Rick was the one who just killed Deanna's husband, Pete.

I think something changed in Deanna at that moment. She turned her teary face up to Rick, Reg still in her arms.

"Rick…do it."

And with that, Rick turned to Pete and shot him in the head with his stolen armory gun. There were screams after the gunshot, but not one of them was Jessie's.

We were all so focused on the deaths before us that none of us noticed Aaron and Daryl appear at the gate, a stranger between them.

"Rick?" The strange man asked.

I caught Daryl's eye. He glanced down at Reg and Pete's bodies and then flicked his gaze back up to me. I shrugged. It happens. Daryl didn't really look too surprised anyway.

I gestured my head towards the stranger. Later, Daryl mouthed and I nodded.

That was a turning point, I think. Alexandria was never really Deanna's again after that night.

A/N: Some scenes/dialogue taken from AMC's The Walking Dead season 5, episode 16 Conquer. No copyright infringement intended.

Sorry for the long, mostly Daryl-less chapter! Fear not, I have big plans for season 6. Also, if you've finished the season, I'd love to hear opinions on the finale! As always, reviews are appreciated but certainly not required :)