Author's Note: I know it's nearly been a month, but I wanted to finish my other fic before I updated this one. This one is much more important to me and I want to spend as much time as possible on it.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer, Little Brown, and Summit Entertainment own it all.

Chapter Thirty-Six: "Baby Steps" Bella's POV

"Abby!" I sang in an obnoxiously cheerful voice. "Come get your cookie, beautiful girl!"

My daughter held strong to the couch and slowly made her way toward me, using the sofa as her guide.

"No," I said, scooting to the other side of the room. "Walk to me, sweetie. You can do it." Jacob helpfully took her little hands and urged her toward me. But Abigail Hope Black was the most stubborn child I had ever seen—she didn't like to give in without a fight. She plopped down on her bottom and stared at the cookie in my hand.

Jacob sighed and pulled EJ off his lap, making him stand on his feet. "Okay, Mini-Me. Show your sister how it's done. Walk to Mommy."

"Come here, EJ," I told him. "Get your cookie, sweetheart. Just take baby steps."

EJ slobbered on his fingers and looked toward Abby, as if wanting her approval. Receiving none, he sat beside her.

"Oh my god!" I exclaimed. "What kind of child doesn't come running for a cookie?"

"You don't think they're...slow...do you?" Jacob whispered, as if they could understand what he was talking about.

I shook my head. "No," I said firmly. "They've developed so well in every other way. They're just too scared to walk by themselves."

He sighed impatiently. Abby glanced back at him and started to crawl toward me. "Num-num, Mommy," she demanded.

"Nope," I replied, tossing the cookie to Jacob. "Go walk to Daddy and get your cookie."

Abby stared at me for a few seconds, her head lilting to the side and her little eyes squinted as if she were trying to see me clearly. That was the only other thing that made me worry about my children. Not only were they not walking without assistance, but they weren't associating the word daddy with Jacob. I could tell this frustrated him, but everything frustrated him nowadays. It frustrated me, too—especially when they tried to say the word "Uncle" when they saw Jasper and Emmett.

"That's Daddy," I said, pointing to Jacob. She looked at him and quickly looked back at me. I sighed, about to apologize to Jake, but my doorbell rang.

I had to hide my smile. I knew exactly who it was."I'll get that," I told Jacob. "It's probably Edward. Try to lure them with that cookie, okay?"

"'Kay. Come on, munchkins," he told them. "Take Daddy's cookie."

I bit my lip as I ran to the door. I nearly hit the wall as I eagerly flung it open. He had a smile as he saw me, and then I realized what I looked like. I was wearing yoga pants, a t-shirt stained with grape juice, and my hair was thrown up into a messy bun. "Sorry," I said, gesturing to myself. "We've been having a...hands-on Mommy day."

He chuckled. "You look great, as always. Are they awake?"

"Yeah," I sighed. "We're having walking lessons. Do you care to try to work your magic, Mr. Convinced-the-Bugs-to-Drink-Juice?"

"Actually, that's what I'm here for," he replied, holding up a package.

I glared at him. "Edward..."

He rolled his eyes. "Just invite me in so I can give a present to my niece and nephew a gift."

"Yes, sir," I said, snapping a mock salute. He grinned crookedly and nudged me with his elbow.

I cleared my throat as I walked back to the living room, keeping a safe distance between us. I knew we were flirting, and that wasn't good. It just came so naturally. I could never deny that I still loved Edward...but I had to pretend to deny that in front of my husband.

"Hey, bugs," I said to them. "You have a surprise."

Their eyes lit up as they saw Edward, and they immediately started to crawl toward him. He dropped the package on the floor and scooped them up, kissing their faces and cooing to them.

Jacob stood up, an edge to his expression. "Hi, Edward," he said stuffily, extending a hand.

Edward expertly balanced the kids on his arms as he shook Jacob's hand. "Hey, Jacob," he replied. "You look like you're doing well."

"Yeah, physical therapy is great," Jake replied politely. "Thanks for stopping by."

"Thanks for letting me in," Edward said smoothly. "Hey EJ and Abby, I bought something for you." He sat down on the floor with them and pulled the package. My kids, used to gifts from the Cullens and Hales, pulled the wrapping paper off eagerly.

I sat next to Jacob as they opened their gift. He put a hand on my thigh, squeezing it affectionately. His eyes never left Edward, though. I knew exactly what was running through his head: Mine. Not yours.

I chose to ignore him and focused my attention on the twins. "Wow!" I exclaimed. "New shoes! How pretty, Abby!"

"They're not just shoes," Edward said, pressing on the soles. I was shocked to hear a loud squeaking come out of them. "They make noise to motivate kids to walk."

"Oh my god," I said. "That's genius! Where did you find them?"

He shrugged. "On the Internet. I bought them in Port Angeles this morning. Let them try them on so I'll know if I need to go get different sizes."

I sat in the floor and helped EJ with his cute little sneakers, tying the colorful laces. Abby had a pair of Mary Janes, and Edward helped her buckle those. "C'mere," I told EJ, pulling him up by his hands. He giggled loudly as I helped him bounce on his new shoes, the bicycle-horn-like noise blaring loudly. I let go of his hands, and he stood there, stomping his feet to hear the noises. Abby did much the same, but they still weren't taking steps. Still, it was an approval.

"Don't let them walk," I said as I heard my kettle whistle. "I want to see it." I quickly ran to the kitchen and poured up the bags of tea I had brewed. Jacob didn't care for tea, but I loved it, and I knew Edward liked it. Which was secretly why I had brewed an extra serving. I poured the tea into two mugs, filled Jacob a glass of Pepsi, and made sippy cups of juice for the twins.

"Do you need help in there?" Jacob called.

"I've got it," Edward said. "There's no need for you to get up while you're still on crutches."

I heard Edward's footsteps. He smiled as he saw the two cups of tea. "Can you help me carry it all?" I asked him.

"Of course." He took the hot cups of tea while I grabbed the other cups. I giggled as I heard the twins stomping on their new shoes and laughing loudly.

"I think they love them," I told Edward as we walked back in the living room. "Thank you so much."

"Let's just hope they serve their purposes," he replied.

"Mommy!" Abby shouted as she bounced. "Shoes!"

"I see, sweetie," I told her. "Walk to Daddy and let him see your new shoes."

Once again, she sat on her bottom and glanced between me and Jacob. Slowly, she used the coffee table to stand up, and then put one foot in front of the other. I thought she was finally going to walk unassisted when she looked toward Edward. "Daddy," she said confidently to him, and she took her very first steps by herself toward him.

I dropped Jacob's drink, making the glass shatter and the floor sticky with Pepsi. The noise startled the twins, who started crying. Jacob stood up and hobbled into our bedroom faster than I had seen him walk with his crutches.

"Aw, hell," I groaned, fleeing to my children and picking them up before they came in contact with the glass on the floor. I put them in their playpen and looked toward Edward.

He sighed, his eyes dark and burning. "Go to Jacob," he murmured softly. "He needs you. I'll clean up."

"Don't clean—"

He put two fingers over my lips, sending electricity through my body. I knew that this electricity was very wrong and very inappropriate, but I didn't have time to fight it in my mind and heart. I nodded silently and ran to my bedroom.

Jacob was sitting on the side of our bed, holding his head in his hands. "Jake," I said in what I hoped was a soothing manner. "Honey, Abby is little. She was just confused."

"She doesn't love me," Jacob whispered. "My own daughter doesn't love me."

"Yes, she does!" I said with every ounce of optimism I could muster up. "They both love to play with you and cuddle with you and—"

"But I'm not 'Daddy,'" he interrupted me. "Edward Cullen is."

The familiar fault lines in my heart began to split again, quaking pain throughout my chest and stomach. "Edward was with them for most of their lives," I whispered. "He took me to the hospital when I was in labor. He was with them when they started crawling and talking and cut their first teeth...Jacob, what do you expect?"

He shook his head. "It doesn't matter, does it? I'm leaving again anyways."

I stared at him blankly. "Leaving again?"

He chuckled darkly, sarcastically, and used his good leg to kick the crutch to the floor. I jumped at the loud noise. "Yeah. I'm still enlisted, Bella. They're not gonna discharge me just because I broke a few bones. I'm sure that when I heal, Uncle Sam will be knocking at my door again."

"No," I whispered. "No, Jacob. I can't...no. Let's talk about this later."

He shook his head. "I don't know how to react to him, Bella. The man loves you. I can tell by his eyes when he looks at you."

I suddenly felt something bubbling up inside of me, threatening to overspill. I knew that one day I would have to admit to Jacob that I loved Edward—and that I had slept with him. But I also knew that I would have to once again remind Edward that I loved Jacob. It was such a tangled web, solid black with no promises of ever letting me loose.

"I'm married to you," I mumbled, tracing his palm with my fingertips. Yes, I loved both men, but I did not want the day of confession to be this day.

He squeezed my hand. "I know," he said, his voice blank and lifeless. "And I love you more than he ever will."

I knew what the appropriate response was, but I couldn't make myself say it. I could hear Edward's beautiful voice in the living room, already laughing with my children. He could comfort them just as well as I could…

I couldn't tell Jacob I loved him while Edward was only two rooms away. It was too much for me to handle. I was too weak to verbalize the burdens of two loves. The weight pressed on my chest so much I couldn't really breathe, much less speak the words…

So I remained silent and pressed my forehead to Jacob's.

He twirled my wedding band around my finger. "Bella, can I ask a question?"

So this was it. He was finally going to ask me the truth about Edward. I nodded, my throat thick with dryness, like cotton. "Y-yeah," I stammered.

"What happened to your engagement ring?"

I had to keep myself from breathing a sigh of relief. "Oh, yeah. The diamond fell out. It's put up until I get around to getting it repaired."

"Ah," he said. "I noticed you haven't worn it at all."

"Yeah," I said again. "The ring and the stone are put away, out of reach of little hands."

He nodded slowly. "Yeah, good thinking."

"I have to go clean up," I said. "Abby and EJ could get hurt in the glass…are you okay?"

"Of course. I'm just…tired."

"You have physical therapy in three hours," I reminded him. "Why don't you rest?"

He agreed, and I stayed with him, rubbing his back and shoulders until he fell asleep. I literally felt like I was nursing my soldier back to health. His battle scars were showing again, the phantom limbs screaming in his memory. He hadn't lost a limb, but he had lost a lot more.

Finally, I stood up and picked up the crutches he had kicked over. I shivered as I did this; Jacob had never done anything like that. It scared me.

When I returned to the living room, Edward was sweeping up the glass. I tried to take the broom from him, but he held it above my head, out of my reach. "EJ just tried to walk," Edward informed me quietly. "He's shaky, and he fell down. I think Abby somehow convinced him to try."

"Abby usually does things first," I mumbled. "She's the leader. Come here, my loves." I plucked my children out of the playpen and sat down on the couch with them. Their faces were still tear streaked, but they smiled at me. "Mommy is so proud of you," I said softly to them, kissing their foreheads.

"Shoes, Mommy," Abby said proudly, showing me her Mary Janes.

"I see," I said again. "They're so beautiful. Did you give Uncle Edward a thank-you kiss?"

Edward finished sweeping the glass up and came to sit next to us. Abby, such an Edward's girl, immediately went to his lap and accepted his kisses. "Daddy," she murmured quietly.

I sighed. "Abby, that's Uncle Edward."

Her bottom lip trembled and she buried her face in Edward's neck. "Daddy," she said again.

My tears broke free from their ducts. "Abigail," I said firmly. "That's Eddie. Can you say Eddie?"

She let out a grunt of frustration. Edward patted her back and held her close. "Somebody hasn't had a nap," he correctly diagnosed.

"I need to give them lunch first," I said gloomily. I still couldn't shake the crutches thing off.

"Do you need help?" Edward asked with a smile.

I closed my eyes. I knew that I should have politely explained the situation and asked him to leave so I could tend to my sleeping husband. But suddenly Edward was like a drug to me. I was stirred, shaken, shocked, and scared. My heart still pounded from the sounds of glass breaking and crutches being kicked to the ground. I was getting close to falling apart simply from the shock of this day. And Edward…well, as usual, he made me feel better. I stared into the endless green of his eyes, and I felt like soothing ice was being placed on my burns. I nodded silently, and we stood up together. Abby's head remained on his shoulder, her face red and eyes heavy. Obviously I wasn't the only one who was stressed out.

EJ remained wrapped around me like a koala bear. I cooed to him softly as I started to make macaroni and cheese and chicken nuggets, stroking his back and thick hair.

"Is he okay?" Edward asked me. I knew he wasn't referring to my son.

I shrugged. "He has a short temper. It's fine, I swear."

"Bella, that is most definitely not fine."

"I know, but I trust him. I know his whims and his reactions. I know how to handle him."

"Maybe I shouldn't be here."

I nearly dropped my spoon. "Don't leave," I whispered. "Please don't. I don't want you to leave."

Edward shifted Abby to his other shoulder. "Then you don't trust him."

I let out a long breath. "Edward, I'm so confused right now. What do I do?"

I wanted to cry some more as he sat down in defeat. "I don't know, Bella. I ask myself the same thing every day."

I noticed that in the days after Abby's slip-up, Jacob's mood changed drastically. He was in a deep hole of depression. He never smiled or talked unless he was spoken to. It was miserable living with such a constant raincloud. Even the twins stayed away from him.

The most terrifying development of that month was the fact that Jacob was being plagued by nightmares. Every night-sometimes multiple times a night-he woke me up by screaming, yelling, or crying. I always shook him awake and kissed away his tears, but the nighjtmares were taking a toll on me. I couldn't imagine what was going on in his mind. Like my children were now taking baby steps, my husband was taking baby steps toward insanity. But suddenly it seemed like the baby steps had turned into giant leaps.

EJ and Abby were going to turn one year old that month, so Alice convinced me to let her throw them a party. Sensing my discomfort with life in general, she promised me that she would tell Jasper to try to talk to Jacob some more. I tried to focus on the positive of that situation, but it was so hard. My Jacob was gone. Some stranger had taken his place.

And I missed Edward every day. And that just seasoned the pain with fresh guilt.

As Jacob progressed toward even more darkness and Edward digressed from my life, the realization hit me like an atomic bomb: I would have to be the one to clean up this mess. Like the glass I had shattered in my living room or my broken engagement ring, nothing fit together, and everybody got hurt. Once again I would have to step in the glass and reconstruct the damaged.

All it would take would be baby steps.

But what path should I take? The baby steps toward my husband, broken yet still beloved?

Or baby steps toward my other love, the stable, affectionate man my children called "Daddy"?

I know you guys have missed Edward, so his POV is next.

By the way, there really are "squeaky" shoes for babies. They're called WeeSqueaks and are adorable-and noisy. I taught my little sister how to walk in them. (One of the most precious moments of my llife, by the way-she took her first steps toward my arms.)

Review, please?