Go Figure
By angellwings
Chapter Thirty-Five
"Oh my God, that was so much fun!" Ella exclaimed as she ran off stage.
"That was our best show yet!" Chevy exclaimed as he hugged Ella.
"And so it was," a new voice said from behind them.
Ella and Chevy both turned to see a very tall and well dressed man standing there. He nodded to them and held out a hand.
"Troy Stephens. It's a pleasure to finally meet the two of you," He said with a grin. "I've been looking forward to meeting the leaders of this band. You've come a long way in such a short time."
"Well, we've had help," Ella said humbly. "We've got a great manager, a great publicist, and we've worked with an outstanding producer. We definitely have to give them credit."
Troy smiled and nodded. "Humility. I like that in my artists. I'll be waiting in the green room for our meeting whenever the rest of the band and your manager are ready."
And with that he turned and walked away. Ella's eyes widened and she and Chevy shared an intimidating look. He seemed nice, but he was definitely all business.
"We gotta get everyone to the green room," Chevy said quickly. "Now."
Ella and Chevy scrambled to find the rest of the band and Caitlyn. Once they were all together they headed to the green room. They found Troy waiting on them with a wide smile. "Please, have a seat."
"Hello, Mr. Stephens," Caitlyn said as she shook his hand. "It's great to see you again."
"And you as well, Caitlyn. Your band put on a rather phenomenal show tonight. I've never seen a band so relatively unknown win people over so quickly. I think you've got lightening in a bottle here," Mr. Stephens said honestly.
"Thank you, Mr. Stephens," Caitlyn said with a bright smile as she sat down in between Chevy and Ella. "Coming from you that means a lot."
"Obviously, Vibe wants to push Ella Pador and the Times as much as possible. So, we want to have the band attached to a major tour right away. The tour with the most immediate opening is Mitchie Torres's tour, and since I hear that you're all friends with her I don't foresee that being objectionable. Do you?" Stephens asked with a grin.
"Of course not," Caitlyn answered. "We're ready for whatever you would like us to do."
"Good, so you go on tour with Mitchie and once that's over in about two weeks we'll find another tour to attach the band to and after that one ends you'll go back to LA to record an album. Does that sound like a good plan?"
Everyone nodded their consent and Mr. Stephens stood and smiled at the group. "I'm looking forward to doing business with all of you. You're a bright group, and you have a bright future as well. Good luck on Ms. Torres's tour, and make sure to have fun."
There was a chorus of "Yes, sir"s as Stephens left and once the door closed behind them they all jumped up and cheered and hugged each other in celebration.
"Guys," Andy said with a bright smile. "We're going to be a part of a real large-scale tour, and we haven't even been together for half a year! How did we do this?"
Caitlyn smiled at all of them. "It's like Stephens said, lightening in a bottle. It's meant to be."
Ella could hardly wait to call Nate and share the news, but she decided she wanted to tell him in private. So she was forcing herself to wait until she was safe inside of her hotel room. She raced back to her room and the shut the door and immediately dialed Nate's number. He answered on the first ring.
"So? What did Stephens say?"
Ella smiled brightly into the phone. "He's sending us on tour with Mitchie for two weeks and then he's going to look for another tour to send us on since hers will be over soon."
"Congrats, Ells. That's huge."
"I'm glad you're handling this so well," Ella said with a nervous sigh. "I know it's been a long time since we've seen each other."
"Ella, we have the rest of our lives to be together. We'll see each other soon. I'm not really worried about losing you," Nate said softly.
Ella smiled and spoke up warmly. "You're not? You're not worried that same mysterious stage hand will whisk me away?"
He chuckled. "No, I'm not. Should I be?"
"I don't know. I mean, there is this one guy," Ella said playfully.
"Thanks, now I'm paranoid," Nate said in a good humored tone.
"Well, Nate, I am hot. A little paranoia is probably a good thing," Ella said teasingly.
"Wow, it's also probably a good thing you're not on tour with us anymore," Nate said. "You're starting to sound like Shane."
Ella laughed. "And I definitely don't want that."
"When do you meet Mitchie's tour?" Nate asked.
"We leave tomorrow for Indianapolis to meet the tour, but we don't start as an opener until the next show in Nashville," Ella told him. "In fact, I should probably go to bed. We're leaving early tomorrow morning."
"Right, well, I'll talk to you tomorrow," Nate said hesitantly.
"I'll call you while we're on the road," Ella said. "I miss you, Nate. Quite a bit. Just so you know."
"I miss you too, Ells," Nate said.
"Good night, Nathanial," She said happily. "Sweet dreams."
"You too, Ella. Love you," Nate said almost automatically.
Ella's eyes widened and she gasped. "You—you what?"
"I—oh God, did I say that out loud?"
"You…you said you love me!"
"I didn't mean to!"
"Is it true?" Ella asked. "Do you love me?"
"Ella…"
"Do you?"
"Yes," He said slowly. "For a while time now."
"How long is that?" Ella asked with a gulp.
"Well, we bumped into each other four months ago right?"
"Yeah," Ella answered expectantly.
"So, for about two to three months now, I guess."
"Two…to three…" She repeated just before she went silent. He loved her? How? Why? They hadn't been dating long enough for love yet, had they? She felt her breathing quicken. "But we haven't been dating very long, Nate. How can you possibly know that you love me?"
"I just do, Ella. I have no doubts about it. I haven't felt this protective or concerned about anyone in a very long time. And I know this may not be a great time to tell you this or even the way I wanted you to find out, but…I'm not going to change my mind or take it back. It's all true."
"You can't! You can't love me!"
"Why not?" Nate asked in a heated tone.
"Because I'm not..." She paused to gather her thoughts as her eyes began to water. "Everyone who loves me is just as screwed up as I am, and I don't want that to happen to you, okay? You better off not loving me."
"Ella, you're not going to say anything to change my mind."
"I can't—Nate, I'm not ready for this," Ella told him as she took a deep breath.
"I'm not saying you have to be," Nate told her. "Really, Ella, take your time with it."
"No, Nate, what if I never feel the way you do?" She asked fearfully. "I can't handle feeling like I'm leading you on. Something one sided like that cannot end well!"
Nate was silent for a long time after that. She assumed he was trying to take everything in. Ella, for one, couldn't believe what she was about to do. She cared about Nate deeply, but the idea of being in a relationship that was so serious scared her. It was a lot of pressure. Not only that but until recently Ella had horrible luck. Her lucky streak was bound to break, and she didn't want Nate to be collateral damage. She sniffled and tried to hold back the tears should knew would eventually fall. It didn't help that when Nate spoke up again his voice cracked.
"Ella, what are you saying?"
"I—I can't do this, Nate," Ella said reluctantly as she felt tears spring to her eyes.
"Please don't do what I think you're about to do."
"I think—"
"Ella, don't."
"—we should take a break."
"I don't want to take a break. We can't take a break."
"We have to, Nate. I need time. I need time to think," Ella said as her emotions began to betray her. Her voice sounded thick with sadness. "I have to go now. I'm sorry, Nate. Really I am."
"Ella, listen to me—"
She shut her eyes tight and ended the call. She hated to hang up on him, but she'd made her decision and she knew Nate wouldn't give up trying to talk her out of it. She threw her phone on to the floor and curled up underneath her sheets. She'd just ended the best relationship she'd ever been in. She was either really brave or very stupid. She had a feeling it was more the latter. This was not how she'd wanted things to go with Nate. Not at all. She buried her face in her pillow and screamed in frustration before she rolled over onto her side and began to sob uncontrollably.
What was wrong with her? She'd just broken up with a wonderful man because he loved her. God, she was so screwed up. Nate really was better off without her.
Nate stared at his phone for a long time after she hung up on him. He couldn't believe what just happened. Of all the outcomes, he hadn't expected that one. He knew Jason had warned him that he might scare her away, but he'd never really thought…
He sighed and chucked his phone into the wall. He was so stupid! How could he let that slip out? He knew she wasn't ready! He'd been told that it would only scare her, and yet…he'd forgotten his brain to mouth filter for a split second and said it anyway.
She'd broken up with him. One minute things were perfect and the next…
They were over. He couldn't let this be it. He had to do something. Ella wasn't getting away from him that easily. If she needed a little bit of time he'd give it to her, but he had far from given up. He'd win her over eventually. He loved her and he knew they were meant to be. She just needed a little time to see that.
Even if it killed him in the meantime.
He closed his eyes and focused on calming himself down, and when that didn't work he pulled out his guitar. He could always depend on music when all else failed.
He was about to face the toughest challenge he'd ever come up against. Trying to keep himself from the woman he loved. It was taking everything in him not to take the next flight out to Indianapolis and wait for her there. But he had a feeling that would be crossing some sort of line. He began to strum faster and louder as he continued to think.
He sighed when he finally came to a conclusion. The most he could do was give her the space she needed and try his hardest not to go after her or hold this decision against her. She was scared of her personal history repeating itself, and as much as he hated it he could understand it. He'd been there himself not too long ago.
Until her, that is.
The next few days were the worst Ella had in a long time. She'd wanted to call Nate so many times. She kept forgetting that she'd ended it. She'd have a moment where she would think of something he'd find amusing or something he'd want to know and she'd reach for her phone…only to remember they weren't together.
Every time she remembered she broke down. Performing helped though. It was therapeutic, and allowed her to forget about Nate. She'd decided to throw herself into work. She'd started writing songs, working on training her voice, and insisted that Andy teach her how to play the drums. Anything she could do to distract herself she would do. As long as she was busy she couldn't think about Nate and how much she missed him. It felt like a piece of her was missing. She was having phantom pains over Nate's missing presence in her life.
She'd been crying herself to sleep (silently when she had to sleep on the tour bus and very loudly when she was in the privacy of her own hotel room.) She'd thought she was hiding it well, but she wasn't.
Everyone knew. They could see it in her eyes. She was heartbroken and exhausted. The worst part was they all knew there was no reason for it. She was in love with Nate. She buried it and refused to admit it but it was there. She was terrified of it, but everyone could see it. She needed Nate, and this separation was showing her just how much.
It would take time for her to break down and admit it to herself, but they were all confident it would happen. Sooner rather than later.
Ella was scribbling away on a song when Mitchie and Caitlyn approached her.
"Hey, El, what are you up to?" Mitchie asked.
"Working on a song."
"What's it called?" Caitlyn asked as she tried to get a glimpse of it.
Ella pulled the music toward her and covered it up. "Um, right now I'm calling it 'Fix a Heart'."
"Need any help with it?" Mitchie offered.
"No, I got it. Thanks though," Ella said with a sigh.
"Are you okay?" Caitlyn asked. "Do you need to talk about all of this Nate stuff?"
"Need to?" Ella asked rhetorically. "Probably. Do I want to? No."
"Ella no one can blame you for being scared," Caitlyn told her. "Especially me. I avoided Jason for a whole week after he told me he loved me, and he'd been in love with me for years at that point. So I get it. Believe me, and I'd be happy to talk it out with you anytime you feel like it."
Ella smiled sadly at her. "Thanks, Cait. I appreciate that, but I think this is something I have to work out for myself, you know?"
Caitlyn nodded. "I know, I just wanted to offer."
Ella nodded. "I'll keep that offer in mind. So, how are the guys? Anyone talked to them lately?"
She tried to pretend she wasn't just asking about Nate, but they could see straight through that.
"They're busy but good," Mitchie said. "Shane said their album is almost finished."
"And Jason going insane since he hasn't seen me in three weeks," Caitlyn said with a grin.
"And Nate," Mitchie said slowly. "Well, he's going the best he can I guess. Shane said he's thrown himself into the album and the tour with all he has."
"…do they hate me?" Ella asked quietly.
Mitchie reached over and squeezed Ella's hand. "No one hates you, Ella. Some of us might be confused, but we don't hate you. We could never hate you."
"Promise?" Ella asked. "I'm not gonna be forgotten again?"
Mitchie and Caitlyn shared a heartbroken look at the hurt childlike tome of her voice.
"No, Ella," Caitlyn said as she pulled the shorter girl in for a hug. "Never again. We promise."
Ella breathed a sigh of relief. "Good."
"Were you afraid we were going to ditch you now that you and Nate are on a break?" Mitchie asked in concern.
Ella gulped and spoke up softly. "The thought did cross my mind."
"I don't care what your relationship status is or with who we will never let you disappear from our lives again," Mitchie told her. "You can count on that."
Ella nodded and hugged both of them. "You have no idea how much better that makes me feel. Thank you."
"That's what we're here for, El," Caitlyn said with a kind smile. "And we are here. For as long as you need us. Never doubt that."