The day of the Potter wedding arrived. The snow had stayed and settled all over the south of England, some storms bringing a few more inches with it but luckily it caused no harm to anybody or any of the wedding plans.
Giselle stood at the bathroom sink in Godrics Hollow, a hand either side of the basin as she screwed her face up tight, wincing. She breathed in and out, just like the Healer told her to, and waited patiently for it to pass.
"'Elle, are you nearly done in there?" Lily asked, banging on the bathroom door and Giselle jumped, shoving her things into her bag. Wrapping her bath robe tightly around her waist, she wiped her face and exited the bathroom, fixing a smile onto her lips for the bride.
"Yep, all yours! Don't take too long though, Marlene is ready to do your hair," She called, joining Alice as they sorted out the dresses. Lily mimicked her then rushed into the bathroom, turning the shower on and shutting the door behind her. The three girls prepared the day's outfits, everything from the shoes to the small hair accessories.
Hours passed and Lily's parents arrived, bright eyed and smiling. Lily welcomed them quickly, her eyes darting to the door but Mrs Evans's smile faltered, softly placing her hand on her daughter's shoulder.
"Petunia isn't coming, she told us this morning," Mrs Evans murmured to her daughter and Lily's face dropped, her lips pressed hard together. They could all see how hurt she was and Giselle knew how much she wished she could see her sister on her wedding day. Giselle looked at Lily's parents who were frowning, clearly feeling guilty for making Lily upset, but she couldn't have the bride crying before she was married. She clapped her hands together and opened another bottle of spiced mead, cracking jokes just to put the smile back on her face.
They documented the morning with their muggle cameras which interested Giselle as she asked Mr Evans to explain how it worked since it differed from the cameras in the wizarding world. At two o'clock, Lily entered the living room, dressed in an elegant ivory dress that flowed to the floor, a soft gold sash tied around her slim waist while her red hair fell down her shoulder in a neat fishtail plait. Her mother started to cry so Giselle wrapped an arm around her, offering her a tissue which she accepted gratefully.
"Darling, you look gorgeous," Mr Evans whimpered, capturing his youngest daughter with the muggle camera. Lily thanked them but before anybody said another word, Giselle rushed them into the transport that sat outside.
"There will be plenty of time for pictures and cute moments after the wedding," She explained, helping Lily climb into the glossy car draped in matching gold ribbons. It was unsurprisingly comfortable in the car and soon it zoomed off into the streets, suddenly jumping ahead of the growing traffic as if it was never there.
The scenes outside of the vehicle slowly transformed with the snow, roads swapping to fields and trees disappearing only to be replaced with views of the steely sea that lapped onto the frosted English beaches.
They arrived at the lighthouse at half past two on the dot, the car's tyres crackling to a stop as it touched the roads of pebbles and gravel. Giselle opened the door and climbed out, inspecting the surroundings. A tall lighthouse of cream and navy stood at the end of a crumbling cliff and a small yet roomy building snuggled up next to the tower, its doors wide open, waiting for the bride and her maids. Mrs Evans kissed her daughter on the cheek once more, trying not to cry, and then rushed inside to set the signal and sat down in her allocated seat.
"Nervous?" Alice asked Lily, sorting out the flowers and Lily nodded with her green eyes wide and bright.
"Don't worry, just picture yourself naked," Marlene suggested and the three stared at her. Lily snorted and shook her head. "No, the saying is 'picture everyone else naked'," She corrected and Marlene frowned, "Why would muggles even say that? I thought... Never mind."
Giselle glanced at the doors and waited for the signal. She wrinkled her nose and ushered everyone forward as the gentle music inside started playing. The four lined themselves up and the two bridesmaids entered the hall, leisurely strolling down the aisle. Giselle gave Lily one last encouraging smile before traipsing in, trying and failing to ignore Sirius' grin as he stood beside James. She held the bouquet tightly and stood beside Alice and Marlene, but she felt herself tear up when she saw Lily enter with the largest smile on her cerise lips.
The ceremony flew by since Giselle tried and failed to stay focused. She stared at the couple but her mind poking fun at her, teasing and taunting her with thoughts that stabbed her deep. She wanted to dearly throttle the dark thoughts but she had to stay resolute. She gave Lily James' ring and watched as they became husband and wife. The onlookers cried, clapping as the new Mr and Mrs Potter kissed for the second time, linking their hands loosely as they faced everyone in the room.
The hall slowly transformed into a cosy room for dancing and drinking, music pumping from two large wireless speakers beside the bar but Giselle didn't have time for dancing. She rushed about, accepting the compliments of her dress and agreeing whole-heartedly with the guests as they praised the new couple. She grabbed a shot of firewhiskey and swallowed it, wincing at the burn but sighing as it relieved the lump in her throat – the wedding was too beautiful.
"Congrats on the success, Maid-of-Honour," Remus said as he joined her at the bar. Giselle took her eyes of Sirius who was stuck talking to Lily's parents and glanced up at Remus. He had his top button undone, a small handkerchief poking out of his pocket carelessly as he ordered two glasses of whiskey for them both.
"Thank you," She sighed, soothing her back as it had begun to ache, "are you enjoying yourself?"
"Immensely," He replied and Giselle wasn't sure whether he was being sarcastic or not, "I just love weddings." Giselle frowned, looking at the man who was scowling into his drink.
"What's up?" She asked and Remus shook his head, savouring the fiery taste of the liquid. Giselle placed her glass down and faced him full on, hoping he wouldn't avoid her repeated question, "Moony, what's wrong?"
"Exactly that, Giselle. Weddings, love, families – I can't do all of this."
"Of course you can-," Giselle began but Remus slammed the glass down, grimacing.
"No, I can't! I'm Moony, I'm a werewolf, for crying out loud! Nobody can get close to me because I will hurt them and I don't want that. Besides, what woman would love a fucking werewolf... I'm a monster, I could kill her without even realising it and that terrifies me, Giselle. You don't understand." His voice had lowered to a whisper and Giselle stood in silence. She slowly placed her hand on his and shook her head.
"No, don't. You will find her, Remus, I promise you. You'll both fall in love and get married, you'll have children and you will have your own family. Don't you dare put yourself down like that!" He stared at her and flinched, shaking his head with a deepening scowl.
"I won't, no one can love a beast like me. I can't fall in love and start a family like you, Giselle." The lump in Giselle's throat returned and she hid back the tears. Draining her glass, she shook her head and left Remus at the bar, "I'm sorry."
She rushed through the family and friends on the dance floor, muttering her apologises as she found the curling staircase that led up to lighthouse. She didn't care that her feet were aching from the amount of steps or that she began to shake from the untouched snow at waited for her at the top.
Giselle exited the tower and found herself at the peak of the lighthouse – a small circular balcony with the vast light in the centre. Strings of lights were draped around the railings, illuminating the spot with a dim light. The cold and refreshing air had no effect on Giselle whatsoever.
She stumbled to the edge and stared down at the sea as it crashed continuously onto the shore below. She couldn't see, speak or hear anything as she stood there with the thoughts running through her head. Gritting her teeth, she squeezed her eyes shut and begged for them to leave but they didn't. They got louder.
She could sense him before she heard or saw him. She could picture him stood looking out towards the pale grey ocean with his hands shoved in his trouser pockets while the neat bow tie Remus helped him with was carelessly draped around his collar while his hair swept across his forehead from the slight breeze. She ached to turn her neck and look up at her boyfriend, waiting for his arms to snake around her waist and pull her into his lap with one of his bear-like hugs. Instead, Giselle dropped her eyes from the sea to the snow beneath her freezing feet.
"Beautiful night, eh?"
She nodded and waited for him to join her at the railings.
"They couldn't have chosen a better place," She mumbled, and Sirius agreed.
"Out by the sea and away from London, away from all of the mess," He replied, his tough shoulder brushing her bare one and she shivered, concentrating on his voice rather than her own.
"One day, we'll move out here. It will be just the two of us, living away from the city and the chaos, but when the war is over – we could start afresh." She gulped and looked up at his face that was close to hers. She didn't want to look into those stupid silver eyes but she couldn't help it.
"Sirius, please-,"
"Somewhere we can see the sky, somewhere surrounded by trees. A haven of our own and it will be much better than the flat we're living in now, I promise." He reached down and engulfed her tiny hands in his large pair. She breathed in; praying to the gods to give her strength but it wasn't working. She could feel the tears behind her eyes well and plead to escape.
"If we survive the war," She concluded but Sirius laughed quietly, pressing her hands to his lips.
"Of course we'll survive the war," he said, "don't talk like that, Elle."
"Sirius, we lost Marlene's sister and a few others mere days ago! Don't pretend that it isn't closing in on us-,"
"We're still fighting, aren't we? We're here and we're still together." He leant forward and pressed his forehead to hers, "Please Giselle, I love you."
She bit her lip and felt her lips tug, "I love you so much, Sirius."
He smiled at her and reached into his pocket, something small enclosed inside. Giselle frowned and watched as he closed the gap, capturing her in a kiss that was deep and warm. She kissed him back, letting his hands embrace her chilling body and she heard him laugh.
"What?" She asked and Sirius shook his head, resting it on top of hers.
"Do you remember the first time we met?" He asked and Giselle smirked, nodding.
"I do. You hexed me on the train and turned my hair bright blue," She reminisced and Sirius laughed harder.
"Gosh, it sounds better coming from you. Do you know why I did that?"
"Because you were aiming for a third year and I happened to walk in front it?" She asked and Sirius shook his head.
"No," he reached down and lifted her chin up, "I did it because I thought it would impress you."
Giselle snorted, "Ah, the old 'turn-her-hair-blue' trick. I haven't heard that one in a while," She sighed and Sirius stared at her, simply smiling. Giselle watched as he breathed out, muttering to himself before nodding. She was unsure of what he was doing but she knew the butterflies in her stomach meant something.
"Giselle," he began, "I love you so much and I know that you love me too. I can't imagine living another day without you and it would kill me to know that I could lose you but..." He laughed nervously as he bent down onto one knee, beaming at her from the white floor. Giselle couldn't move.
"Giselle Cecelia Crouch, will you marry the stupid fool who turned your hair blue?"
Complete silence. Giselle stared at Sirius, her chest heaving as she felt the tears fall. She clasped her hands to her face and sobbed. Sirius laughed, watching as she cried but his face dropped when he realised that they were not happy tears. He stood up and tried to mask how heartbroken he felt. Was this a rejection?
"I thought this is what you wanted? What you wanted for us?!" His voice was shaking, "I thought you wanted us to be together, to start our own family-,"
"N-No Sirius, its n-not that-," Giselle sobbed, grabbing his arms but he threw them off.
"Then what? What the fuck is wrong, Giselle?" He shouted, his face contorted. Giselle held in the sobs and dried her puffy eyes. Shakily, she tried to make him listen.
"You don't want to marry me."
Sirius stared at her and laughed. He continued to laugh but it was high and cruel. Giselle winced and waited till he finished but he couldn't take it. "You don't think I want to marry you? Then what is this?" He shoved the ring into her face, "and what about all of this? I want to marry you Giselle, Merlin, I fucking love you but you down right rejected me and now..."
"No, you don't know!" She cried and Sirius grabbed her shoulders, "Then tell me!"
Giselle wrinkled her nose and let a single tear fall, "I don't want you to marryme."
Sirius was completely lost, "What? But Elle, I do. I want to marry you, I want us to own a house in the country, have loads of children and start a family, have a pet fish or something-,"
"Exactly, that's what you want!"
"YES!" Sirius yelled and took her hands, "I want us to have that!"
"No you don't!"
"Yes I do!"
"I can't have children, Sirius – I'm infertile!" Giselle screamed and she broke down. Sirius stared at her, speechless. Giselle cried into her hands and shook violently but before she fell, he caught her and pull her close to his chest, smoothing her hair. He slowly sat down on the only bench and tightened his arms, letting her cry into his jacket. It was his fault that she was reacting like this.
He was the one who pressed on about families and children, the one who would joke about their future together and what it would include. She knew how badly he wanted children and she knew she couldn't provide them for him because she wanted what was best for him. She was considering leaving him to find someone else who could provide for him like she wanted to. Sirius looked down at Giselle and saw how her fingers locked onto his jacket, the way her face fit perfectly into the crook of his neck, the way she wouldn't let go of him no matter how uncomfortably they sat. She loved him so much that she was going to let him go.
His eyes prickled and he let a few tears fall silently, comforting her in soft whispers but Giselle felt the hot tears land on her numb skin. She looked up and wiped away his tears, kissing his cheek and neck to soothe him.
"I don't care," He mumbled, his voice cracked and she sniffed with a frown.
"But you want-,"
"I want you Giselle. I love you... please," He whispered. She breathed out and nodded. She prised the box from his fingers and opened it, admiring the beautiful ring inside. He stared, breathless.
"Do you want me to put it on?" She breathed and Sirius shook his head, slipping the ring onto her timid finger before placing a single kiss on her hand. They sat on the bench in silence, listening only to each other's breathing and somehow they knew that they were going to be ok.
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