I own nothing except my delusions.
Killian slowly awoke to the early morning light streaming through the drawn curtains, Emma cuddled into his chest.
Not bothering to even check the time, he clutched Emma closer to him, her body warm against his. She nuzzled against him, sleep still consuming her. Glancing around the room, she spied their discarded clothes strewn on the floor.
Laying with Emma against him, he looked down at her, seeing she was peaceful in her slumber. Memories of the night before ran through his mind, remembering what had caused her breakdown.
He didn't blame her at all for what had happened. He knew that their relationship would be a shock to some people, but hadn't expected it to be receive so negatively. The fact that her mother was one of them, especially given her own history, hurt.
Emma had the full weight of everything on her shoulders, everyone expecting her to take back the mantle of Savior again the second she returned. It wasn't fair to her; the whole reason they returned to Storybrooke was to get back to her family, not to break another curse.
Silently thinking about their entire situation, Emma began to stir, breaking him from his thoughts.
"Morning," she said slightly slurred from sleep as she opened her green eyes to look at him.
He gave her an easy smile. "Morning, love."
She nodded into his chest before stretching and propping herself up on her elbow to look down at him, covering herself with the blankets.
"Listen, I'm sorry about last night," she said, her eyes sad.
Shaking his head, he ran his knuckles along her jaw. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I want to share your burdens."
She gave him a weak smile.
"Come here," he said, gently tugging her down so she layed against chest again. He draped his arm across her shoulders, threading his fingers through her hair. She relaxed into him.
Turning his head, he pressed his lips to her hair. "I'm not going anywhere, Swan. I want you to be able to come to me with anything."
She sighed, squeezing his waist with her arm. "I know. I want you to be able to lean on me, too."
Tilting her head, she met his lips with hers in a chaste kiss. When they broke apart, she rested her head over his heart.
"I don't know if I can stay here," she murmured after a while. "I know I wanted to come back, but this... I forgot how it actually is here."
"You wanted your family back, but forgot about the curses and various villains running around," he concluded quietly.
She nodded into his chest.
"Do you want to leave?" he asked her, knowing she wanted to run.
She hesitated. "I don't know. I mean, I don't want to leave my parents again, but I can't risk you and Henry. I want for us to be able to be together, and not have people looking at us. You're not some dirty secret. I still want to marry you."
Releasing a heavy breath, Killian slightly tightened his hold on her. "We'll talk about it, yeah? Besides, not everyone is against this." He indicated between the two of them. "As for being the Savior, you don't have to do everything alone. I'll be right there by your side."
She hummed in response before tilting her head slightly to look at him. "I love you."
"And I love you," he replied.
They continued to to lay together, letting the sun climb further in the sky. It was the first time they had really gotten to just be together since they had left New York, having always had to deal with something or another.
Too soon for either of their liking, Killian's phone dinged, letting them know he had a message. Reluctantly, he unwrapped his arm from Emma, reaching to grab the device and check it.
He released a heavy sigh as he read it, dreading what he knew was to happen. "Your father wishes to speak to me."
Emma stiffened against him, apprehensive. "About what?"
Shaking his head, he placed the phone back on the bedside table. "I don't know, love. Perhaps it's his protective father speech?"
She shrugged lightly. "Maybe."
He ached at seeing her putting her walls back up, that she felt the need to protect herself. He was just thankful that at least when she put her walls back up, she didn't push him away too, instead keeping him close and letting him see her when her walls crumbled down.
"I promise you, it will be okay," he said quietly. "Whatever Dave wants to discuss, there's no getting rid of me."
She released a small chuckle, grinning at him. "I'm gonna hold you to that."
Walking towards David where he stood on the docks, Killian took a breath to prepare himself, knowing the upcoming conversation would not be the most pleasant.
David looked up at him as he approached, holding out a cup of coffee to him as a peace offering.
"Did Henry get settled in with Mary Margaret for now?" he asked, keeping his voice light.
"Aye," Killian answered as he took the cup, taking a large drink of the bitter liquid. "I promised him I would get him as soon as we're done here."
David nodded, looking out at the water.
Killian was to have Henry with him again for the day, with Regina wanting to teach Emma to control her magic, at least to defeat Zelena.
"Why did you call me here, Dave?" he asked after a moment of silence.
Looking over at him, David's features pinched in concern. "How's Emma?"
"As well as to be expected," Killian replied, his voice giving nothing away.
"She told us she wants to leave," David said quietly. "I know all this is hard, but we don't want to lose her again. You... you guys are close. I know you can't want to just leave here again, either."
Killian chose to ignore his one comment. "Whatever goes on, whatever becomes of us, it's as up to her as it is to me. She gets just as much say in everything as I do."
Stunned, David stared at him before looking back toward the water.
"I didn't know she was feeling like this," he said quietly, barely loud enough for Killian to hear. "I didn't know that she was feeling all of this pressure. That she was hurting so much."
Slowly, Killian nodded, deciding David would be safe to talk to, both men caring for Emma.
"Most of the year, we all looked for some way to get back," he told him, his voice low, his chest aching at the memory. "Emma especially. She was so afraid of letting herself be happy for a long time, thinking that if she did, she would be failing you. She was so afraid of being forgotten and replaced. I don't know how many times I was awoken by her nightmares of that, not that I ever minded."
"Replaced?" David echoed faintly, his bright eyes worried.
Killian sighed. "You didn't see Emma when we were in Echo Cave, did you?"
David shook his head.
Understanding, Killian looked out at the water. Between being poisoned by Dreamshade and hearing his wife's confession, David was forgiven for missing something.
"That map that Pan gave Emma was only unlocked when she admitted who she was," Killian said. "It revealed itself when she admitted she still felt like an orphan."
He heard David's sharp intake of breath, but continued. "She's told me a lot about her childhood, including how she was sent away if a family had a child of their own."
David closed his eyes, his voice horrified at the realization. "And now she's feeling that way again."
Killian nodded, his voice steady. "Aye."
David was quiet, at a loss for words.
"I don't think it helped that as soon as you all came back, we immediately told her about the new curse," he finally said, looking back toward the water.
"No, it didn't," Killian agreed, wanting to protect Emma. "Emma feels like people only want her back to break this curse. She feels alone, like everyone only sees her as the Savior."
"But we don't," David protested weakly.
"Yet she feels her life is being torn asunder since she came back," Killian responded.
David began to pace, looking around as if a magical solution would appear before him.
"I don't know what to do," he finally admitted, sounding lost.
"Be there for her," Killian offered.
Sighing, David looked back at him, watching.
"You've changed," he told him, staring.
Killian raised his brow curiously.
"A year ago, you only looked out for yourself," David said, wonder in his tone. "Now, you're protecting Emma and Henry. You care for both of them."
Swallowing, Killian nodded. "More than anything."
"And they care about you," David continued. "Henry was fit to be tied last night. He kept saying he didn't want to lose his dad. We knew he meant you. Emma defended you, too. And of course, you gave up everything to go with them."
"I'd do it again," Killian confirmed. "I'd do anything for them."
Smiling, David nodded. "I know."
Both men took a drink of coffee, watching the sunlight play on the waves.
"I don't think I need to threaten you," David said calmly. "I know you won't hurt Emma. Besides," he grinned wickedly, "I have a feeling if you did, she could take care of it just fine."
Killian felt a huge weight lift off of him, hearing for himself that he had David's blessing. He grinned, releasing a light chuckle.
"I'll give you a ride back so you can take Henry," David offered. "I just need to call Mary Margaret first."
Killian nodded in appreciation, content to wait for David to make his call.
He raised a brow in question as David sighed in frusterated.
"Phone's dead," David explained, snaping it shut and storing it away.
Pulling out his own phone, Killian offered it to David.
David nodded gratefully, taking the phone before staring at it in confusion.
"Problem, mate?" Killian asked.
"I have no idea how to work this," David admitted.
Nodding, Killian took it back, showing him how to unlock it and bring up the contacts menu.
"I can't believe this," David muttered, more to himself.
Killian looked at him curiously. "Believe what?"
"Captain Hook of all people is showing me how to use a smart phone," David grumbled.
Unable to help himself, Killian released a laugh.
Killian couldn't help grinning widely as he sat across from Henry in the diner, two plates of fries between them as they played dice in the center of the table after their afternoon of sparing practice. They had been wagering the fries, the amounts on the two plates constantly changing with every game.
"You know you taught me all your tricks," Henry claimed proudly, plucking a fry from Killian's plate to toss it on his own.
"Not all of them," Killian responded, snatching the dice from the table.
Before he could roll the dice, the bell to the diner rang as Belle entered, approaching the table.
"Hey, Hook," she greeted, all of the previous distain she held for him gone. She smiled at Henry. "Hello, Henry."
Henry smiled in greeting as Killian nodded. "Belle. Is everything alright?"
She quickly nodded. "Um, yeah, yeah. I was just wondering if you could maybe help me with something."
Killian nodded. "Of course. What is it, love?"
Dropping her voice, Belle stepped slightly closer. "I was going through some of Rumple's things, and he may have something to help stop this witch. I think it's all in his cabin. I can't ask David or Mary Margaret to help, with everything going on."
"And you need me to help search?" he inquired.
"Yeah," she responded.
Nodding, he glanced over at Henry. "Would you mind staying with your grandparents for a while?"
Looking slightly put out, Henry nodded. "Yeah. This is important. Just be careful?"
Standing, Killian moved to stand beside him, ruffling his hair. "Of course, lad."
Henry smiled as he got up, moving with them as Killian quickly called David, asking him to get Henry.
After Henry was with his grandparents, Killian let Belle lead him towards the woods in the direction of Gold's cabin. He couldn't help feeling slightly uneasy as they walked, but couldn't place the cause, possibly aside from the attacks that happened in the woods. Most everyone had learned to stay away, Robin's men even deciding to make their camp closer to the town. He was armed, carrying his cutlass and the pistol Emma gave him. Despite his own uneasiness, he refused to leave Belle to look on her own.
Belle moved with purpose beside him, not talking often in favor of focusing on their task. Killian was just surprised her impractical heels didn't hinder her more as they trudged through the brush.
"Thank you," she said as he pulled back a branch for her, letting her continue on the path.
"So how long have you and Emma been together?" Belle asked him curiously after minute of silence. "I mean, when you decided to actually start your relationship?"
Unable to help himself, Killian grinned widely.
"Since December," he answered.
"Wow," she remarked in amazement. "And already engaged."
He shrugged lightly. "Well, we were living together even before that, so we knew what it would be like being together. Plus given everything we've gone through, it just seems right for us to be where we are now. We love each other and both know what we want."
Belle smiled warmly at him. "I'm happy for you guys."
He smiled in thanks.
"So have you two talked about what to do now you're back?" she asked curiously.
Unable to help himself, he released a sigh as he nodded. "Not really. There's been a lot going on, so our focus has been elsewhere."
She nodded in understanding, her voice warm. "Well, it's good that you have something now. You've changed from who you were."
Reaching a small break from the trees, Killian glanced up at the sky, seeing they had little daylight left. Just ahead of them was the small cabin, the windows dark. He knew it was vacant, that no one had been there for some time.
"Come on," Belle said as she stepped forward, leading the way.
Silently, he followed her the rest of the way and into the cabin, keeping watch for anything that might attack them.
Belle turned on one of the lights inside, softly illuminating the main room. She walked over to the chest against one of the walls, starting to pull open the drawers.
Taking that as his signal, he moved to one of the back rooms to search.
"Have you had any luck?" Belle called, from the main room after a while.
Giving up on the room he was in, he walked back to where she stood, shaking his head. "I'm afraid not."
Biting her lip, she shook her head, her eyes downcast. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, anyway."
He pinched his brow in confusion. "What do you mean, love?"
She turned her blue eyes up to meet his, her voice wrought with worry. "I know you've spent the last year with Emma, away from all of this, but what happens when Rumple comes back? How can I trust you not to hurt him? How can I know that when he comes back, you won't try to go after him?"
Swallowing, Killian looked down at her. Though it hurt, he knew her concerns were well deserved. He had done everything he could to get his Crocodile in the past, including using Belle against him.
He decided it was best to be honest.
"I know what I've done," he told her, his voice hiding none of his sincerity. "In the past, I would have done anything for revenge. Now, I have something else to live for. I've given up my pursuit of revenge."
"I need you to promise me you won't hurt him," she stressed.
"I promise," he responded. "So long as he doesn't come after my family, I promise I won't do anything against him."
"Swear to me," she demanded. "On the name of the woman you love."
He nodded slightly as he spoke, his voice slightly wavering. "I swear on Emma Swan."
Belle smiled, a malicious glint in her eyes. "Thank you, Captain. That's exactly what I needed to hear."
She raised her fist, releasing it as his lips suddenly began to burn, a green glow emanating from them.
"What the hell?" he muttered as he raised his hand to cover them.
He looked up, just to see Belle become enveloped in swirling green smoke, only for it to dissipate and reveal Zelena.
"Zelena." he spit the question, anger overtaking him as he dropped his hand and withdrew his cutlass. "It was you. Where's Belle?"
"Relax," she replied flippantly. She waved her hand, causing his sword to fly from his grip and slide across the floor. "The bookworm is back in her home, pouring over boring old tomes trying to find something to save her precious Rumple."
"I don't understand," he said angerly, keeping his eyes on her. "Why would you pretend to be her?"
"To corrupt your love," she said as if it were the most obvious thing. "I knew that you wish to atone for your past misdeeds. And I knew I could use it."
He narrowed his eyed in suspicion. "Use it for what?"
"When you invoked the name of your love in a plea for forgiveness, I was able to curse you- more specifically, your kiss," she proclaimed proudly. "See, the next time your lips touch Emma Swan's, all of her magic will be taken. Everything that makes her special, that makes her powerful, that makes her a threat, will be gone."
Killian knew that Emma's magic did not make her who she was. He knew firsthand how special and powerful she was even without her magic, having been with her for a year in the Land Without Magic.
Despite all that, he wouldn't let Zelena use him against Emma.
"I won't do it," he refused. "I'll tell her, and she'll defeat you."
Her features contorted into a sneer. "Then I'll send the Dark One to kill her before you can."
"No, you won't," he said after studying her for a moment, calling her bluff. He wasn't willing to gamble Emma's life, but knew the witch was lying. "If you could have killed her, you would have."
At Zelena's obvious anger, he continued. "You need her power removed. That's why you didn't kill her when we came to the town. It's why you had a monkey watch and harrass us in New York instead of killing her. For some reason... you can't."
She pursed her lips. "It no longer matters, because you're going to remove her powers. I may not be able to hurt Emma, but I can hurt those around her- her parents, her friends... her child."
Killian felt fury instantly boil in him at the threat against the boy he saw as his son. "Do not go near them."
"Oh, yes," she laughed mockingly. "You've become quite fond of the boy, haven't you? Almost like he's your own son. I will enjoy turning him into a monkey's breakfast."
"I'll stop you," he promised venomously, knowing he would do whatever he had to to protect Emma and Henry.
She smirked gleefully. "No you won't. That pointy little hook of yours can scratch a mere mortal, but me?"
After releasing another gloating laugh, she glared back at him.
"You're out of your depth, pirate," she snarled. "The choice is yours. Kiss Emma and remove her powers or everyone she loves dies."
Summoning a cloud of green billowing smoke, Zelena vanished, leaving Killian alone in Gold's cabin.
Releasing a curse, Killian forced himself to calm down, walking out of the cabin and slamming the door shut as he went.
He had to protect his family, do everything possible to ensure their safety.
Quickly making it out of the woods, he trekked back to the loft, not worried about being attacked. If Zelena wanted to use him against Emma, she wasn't going to send her monkeys after him.
Finally making it to the loft, he knocked on the door with his hook, waiting to see if anyone was there.
The door opened, Emma standing on the other side, smiling warmly when she saw him.
Her smile suddenly slipped, her eyes wide. "Where's Henry?"
"He's with your parents," he answered quickly, reassuring her.
She released a breath, relaxing as she stepped aside to let him in, letting him see Regina sitting at the table. Her smile crept back along her lips as he entered the loft, her eyes shining excitedly.
"The magic lesson went really well," she told him happily.
Not wanting to ruin her mood for the time being, he forced a smile. "I'm glad to hear that, love."
She grinned widely. "Wanna see something really impressive?"
Waving her hand, his left arm suddenly felt lighter.
Glancing down, he saw his hook missing from his brace. He looked up, seeing it hanging from the line of hooks on the wall by the door.
"That's bad form, Swan," he said, his heart not in it, "tampering with a man's hook."
Grabbing his hook and twisting it back in his brace with his back to her and Regina, he closed his eyes, thinking of what Zelena was trying to force him to do.
Emma's magic was rapidly becoming stronger, more than what it was in Neverland. Though she was more than her magic, it was still a part of her, something he couldn't take from her.
Turning back to face her, he saw her watching him, her expression letting him know she knew something was wrong. He gave a slight shake of his head, letting her know he would talk to her later when they were alone.
Catching on, Emma changed the subject. "So, why is Henry with my parents?"
Saving him from answering, Henry burst through the door into the loft, followed closely by David and Mary Margaret.
"Mom, Grandpa let me drive his truck!" Henry exclaimed happily.
Hiding his own surprise that David actually let Henry drive, he watched as Emma's features became exacerbated while Regina looked at David, daggers in her eyes.
"You did what?" she demanded.
David looked slightly sheepish, his voice casual. "As mayor, you might wanna throw a little money at road repair."
Henry snorted as he fought a grin.
"Excuse me?" Regina asked, staring at David.
He grimaced as he turned away. "Nothing."
"This is a terrible mistake," she continued.
"She's right," Emma added. "Someone could have been seriously hurt."
"Only if you're a mailbox," Mary Margaret responded.
Killian raised his brows at the same time Emma did.
Henry grinned widely from behind the island. "It was so much fun."
"What can I say?" David asked brightly. "I've got a reckless, carefree, fun side."
He smiled over at Emma.
Seeing Emma looking happy, Killian couldn't help grinning himself.
Mary Margaret looked over at him curiously. "Hook, did you and Belle find anything?"
Keeping his composure, he shook his head, keeping his voice light. "I'm afraid not. She's decided to keep looking in her home instead."
"Oh," she responded, slightly put out. She looked around at everyone before smiling. "Well, how about dinner at Granny's anyway?"
"Can I drive?" Henry asked.
Everyone met him with a chorus of "no."
Emma walked over to Killian, slipping her hand into his.
"Actually love, I think I'm going to sit this out," he said quietly to her. "I'm not feeling my best, and would like to go back to our room and rest for a while."
He hated lying, but knew there was no way he could sit through a meal pretending everything was okay. What made it even worse was that Emma's family wished to include him, to treat him as part of the family.
He could see it in her eyes that she didn't believe him, that she knew something was wrong. They knew each other too well.
"Do you want me to stay with you?" she offered, her brow furrowed in worry.
"No, you go ahead to dinner with your parents," he reassured her. "I'll be fine."
Reaching up, she touched his face. "Are you sure?"
Giving her a weak smile, he nodded. "Aye."
Nodding slightly, she pulled away to go to Henry.
Making his exit, he left the building completely, going out onto the street. He really didn't want to go back to their room yet, but knew he couldn't remain where he was. Slowly, he walked to the docks, knowing the air and brine would help clear his head.
Knowing he couldn't stay too long, he sat at one of the benches, breathing deeply as he thought over his options.
He couldn't just lie to Emma and pretend everything was fine, she knew him too well. She would also know something was immediately wrong if he kept avoiding kissing her. He knew he would have to tell her what Zelena did to him, even if he hated admitting it.
Standing, he made his way back to the bed and breakfast.
Killian anxiously sat on the bed, rubbing his thumb along his hook. Emma would be back any second, wanting to figure out what was troubling him.
He felt his stomach twist into knots just thinking of what he would tell her.
Standing, he moved to pace, only to stop when Emma opened the door, walking through.
"Hey," she greeted, striding up to him and reaching up to kiss him.
He quickly pulled away, turning his head to avoid her lips.
He felt a twinge of self loathing at the stunned and hurt expression she wore.
"Killian?" she asked, sounding lost.
Mournfully, he shook his head, shame growing as he thought of what he had to do. "I can't. I'm so sorry, Swan, but I can't."
She stepped back slightly, trying to mask her hurt at being rejected.
"Swan," he said weakly, searching for the right words. "Zelena cursed me."
Turning her wide green eyes on him, her voice shook. "How?"
Closing his eyes, he shook his head. "If my lips touch yours, your magic will be gone."
He heard her shaky breath, knowing she was angry.
"How did she do this?" she asked, keeping her voice steady.
Exhaling, he opened his eyes, shame coursing through couldn't answer her.
"Killian?" she pressed, her tome becoming more agitated.
When he didn't answer, she stepped in front of him. "We aren't supposed to hide things from each other. If something's wrong, we're supposed to lean on each other."
"How can I, when every time I even think about it, I'm ashamed I let this happened?" he burst out, his voice rough. "When I know what she wants me to do? That she threatened Henry?"
Turning away, he perched on the edge of the bed, taking his head in his hand, leaving Emma motionless, stunned.
"Belle asked me to go with her to go to Rumplestilskin's cabin to look for something to help with defeating the witch," he told her, his emotions evident in his tone. "She asked me how she could be sure I wouldn't attack the Crocodile. I told her I had given up on my revenge, and that I've found something else to live for. She made me swear on your name that I wouldn't go after him, and when I did, she turned into Zelena and cursed me. I'm so sorry, Emma. This is my fault."
Killian didn't hear her move, only to feel her fingers comb through his hair as she walked between his legs and pulled his head against her stomach. He momentarily stiffened in surprise before relaxing against her, tentatively snaking his arms around her waist.
"That's not your fault," she whispered soothingly to him, all of her anger gone. "You don't have anything to be sorry for."
"Yet if I hadn't of sworn on you, if I hadn't of asked for forgiveness, this wouldn't have happened," he protested, pulling away enough to look up at her.
She looked down at him, her eyes soft, holding nothing but her love for him. "You've been working on making up for everything you've done, and Zelena is the one that twisted that. That wasn't you."
Closing her eyes, she leaned down so her forehead touched his. "We're a team. We'll find a way around this. And we will keep Henry safe from her."
He released a shaky breath, holding her tighter as he ached to kiss her, knowing he couldn't.
Seeming to know what he was thinking, she turned her head, pressing a tender kiss to his cheek.
"This is gonna be hard," she sighed, her nails scratching gently at his scalp.
He flashed her a weak smile. "Yeah, it is."
She kissed him again. "But we will get through this, and we will beat this witch."
Teaser: He raised a single eyebrow. "Is this thing going to be like that movie you made me watch?"
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