The Two Days – Part Two
Allura could not believe that Pidge had given her an ultimatum! After she had gotten over the shock of it, she was furious! She thought 'how dare he tell me what to do!' Allura was sure that her plan would work, she just needed more time. She didn't understand why he was acting the way he was, or why he was being so unreasonable!
She had decided to have dinner upstairs, telling Larmina that she had a lot of work to do. Allura at that point was still mad at Pidge, and was not going to give him the satisfaction of thinking that she was going to do what he wanted her to. It took her a long time to fall asleep, as she could not unwind because she was furious with Pidge. 'How dare he try to tell me what to do!' she thought again as she tossed and turned in her bed.
The next morning she was tired and cranky, as well as depressed. After having breakfast at her desk, she got busy on her work. Unfortunately, the first issue she had to deal with was one that she and Pidge had worked closely on. As she tried to read the briefing memo on her tablet, Allura remembered how much fun they had had, putting it together. He had helped her work out a couple of problems, and she knew that it would not have been a success without him!
Allura put the briefing memo aside, and went on to other issues. She didn't make much progress, because so many of them she had worked with Pidge on, or just wanted to talk to him about them. As she was eating her lunch at her desk, she realized that she really just wanted to talk to him! Allura thought that, and then reminded herself that he was unreasonable and that she was mad at him!
When Lance came into talk to her, she was looking forward to it. She really needed a distraction, and Lance was always good for one! Allura was not pleased to learn that he wanted to talk about Keith's birthday party. She remembered the way Pidge had reacted, when she had told him about Lance wanting her to help plan the party.
Allura, as she looked at Lance, thought that the birthday party was what had pushed Pidge over the edge. 'If Lance had not come up with this idea, which Keith doesn't even want, Pidge would not have said what he did' she told herself. She was looking at Lance as she thought that, and without meaning to, gave Lance an unpleasant glare.
Lance did not like the look Allura gave him, when he mentioned the party. He tried to talk to her about the plans, but she shut him down. She knew he was taken aback when she told him no, and why she couldn't. Allura knew he didn't understand, but she by now didn't care what he thought. She wasn't even concerned when he left her study very angry.
After he left, Allura at least felt better about not being involved in the party. She realized that Pidge had been right, she should have said no right away. She thought back to when she had told him about the party, and his reaction, as well as the comment he made, that she wasn't thinking of him.
That struck a chord with her, and she remembered the last conversation she and Pidge had, when he gave her the ultimatum. She had said that she was concerned about Keith's feelings, and Pidge had asked her 'what about my feelings.' Allura started to wonder if she had been fair to him. She knew he loved her, and she loved him too.
Allura didn't eat any of her dinner, and pleading a headache went to bed early. Dorcas had wanted to fuss over her, but she wasn't having any of it and asked her to leave. After she did, she remembered the conversation she and Pidge had had the other night, about Dorcas. When Pidge had made the comment about a lock on the door, she had smiled at the idea.
Now, as she thought about it, she realized how much she missed him! He was such a part of her life, and it wasn't the same without him. She understood how he felt, wanting to be with her openly; she wanted that too. If only what he wanted her to do was not so unreasonable! Allura felt like he was making her choose, and on his terms! 'No, she thought to herself, I love him, but I'm not giving in to him!'
She had fallen into a light sleep for several hours; it was after midnight when she woke up suddenly, crying. She was trying to remember why she was crying, and then she thought of the dream she had had, about Pidge. It was an awful dream she recalled, one where he didn't exist in her life. The thought of that had made her cry!
Allura wished her Mother was alive, so she could talk to her about this. There wasn't anyone who would understand, or who she could talk to about it. She decided that maybe if she went down to her Mother's tomb, maybe her Mother would appear to her. She got dressed, not realizing that she had put on Pidge's sweatshirt and pants. It was hard to go down to the basement, knowing she wasn't going to see Pidge.
When she got to the tombs, she lit the candles by her Mother's tomb, and sat down. She looked at the beautiful floral work that decorated the outside. Her Mother had always loved flowers, and made sure that there were always fresh ones in all the castle rooms, a tradition that Allura continued to this day. She sent a silent prayer, hoping her Mother could hear her.
After a while, she heard her Father's voice say "Daughter, why are you so sad?" She turned to see her Father, which usually brought comfort to her, but not now. She said "I was hoping I could talk to Mother." The King shook his head and said "That is not possible, but maybe I can help you." Allura wanted to ask why it wasn't possible, but she knew that there were some things that she would never know.
She looked at her Father and said "I'm not sure how much help you could be." Her Father smiled and said "Why don't you try me?" Allura decided that she might as well try, even if it was awkward. She said "It is about Pidge." She stopped, and waited for her Father to say something. He got a knowing look on his face, and said "Your young man, right?"
Allura looked surprised at that comment, and said "You know about us?" Her Father said "I know that he is a good man, who has done a lot for Arus, and he loves you very much. I like him!" That made her smile for a moment, and then remembering why she was down here, said "I don't think he is very happy with me right now, and I'm not happy with him." He nodded his head, and said "So you two have had a quarrel?" Allura tossed her head and said "He is being unreasonable!" The King smiled as she said that; it reminded him of when she was a little girl, and didn't get her way. He said to her now "Why do you think he is being unreasonable?"
"We have been going out for a while, but no one else has known about us." She stopped, and he said "I think more people know than you realize Allura." She thought about that, and then said "Pidge is tired of 'sneaking around' as he calls it, and wants to be open about our relationship." Her Father said to her "Is that a problem for you, daughter?"
Allura said "No, well, not really. It is complicated! And he is making it worse!" He said "Why is it complicated?" She struggled to come up with the right answer, and then finally said "It is because of Keith!" Her Father said "The Black Lion Pilot, yes, a strong warrior!" She felt like she wanted to squirm, but sat still, like she had been taught for all those years.
"Father, he has feelings for me too. I feel bad, because years ago I had some of those same feelings too." She stopped, and waited for his reply. "Daughter, you were a teen-age girl back then; you can't expect your feelings to stay the same, now that you are grown." She thought about that and said "I understand that, but Keith doesn't!"
She went on "I have been trying to make him see how different I am, and how things have changed. I thought it was working, but Pidge says it isn't. He wants me to tell Keith about us now, and not wait!" Her Father asked "What are you waiting for?" Allura said "His birthday is in a couple of weeks, and I wanted to wait until after that. I don't want to spoil his birthday!"
The King remembered how much she had always enjoyed her birthdays, and that she would want that for everyone else. However, he thought, there are things more important than birthdays. He said to her "Do you love Pidge?" She looked at him wide eyed, and said "Yes, I do, more than anything! Even being mad at him, I still love him!" She looked sad when she said it.
He said "Are you proud of him?" Allura looked at her Father, and said "What do you mean?" Her Father smiled and said "Are you proud of what he does? Would you be proud to be by his side?" She answered immediately "Yes, Father! He has done so much for Arus! He is smart, kind, and faithful too." He nodded his head and said "Do you trust him? Do you trust his judgment and his actions?"
Allura saw where her Father was going, and she said "Yes, I do trust his judgment, he has always been right." She hung her head as she said it. Her Father said "Both a male lion and a man want to be the alpha in their pride or house. They want their mate to trust them that he will take care of them, love, and protect them." She thought about that, and then a word that her Father had said echoed in her mind.
"What do you mean, mate?" She asked, not sure she had heard it correctly. He laughed and said "He wants to marry you, but I should let him bring that up. Men like to be the ones to suggest that!" She looked at her Father, and said "So you are telling me that Pidge is right, and I need to do what he says?" Her Father smiled and said "Do you trust him enough to?" Allura took a deep breath and said "Yes, I do. But it means I'm giving into him; is he going to expect me to give in every time?"
Her Father said "You will find that there will be times you will comprise, and times that he will. That is how relationships work, daughter." She looked at him and said "Did you and Mother have to comprise too?" He smiled and said "Yes, we did, but not that much. I think that you and Pidge will be similar; you two have the same goals, interests, and you are very good friends."
Allura thought about what he said, and knew that both her Father and Pidge were right. She would have been happy to agree, but there was one thing that still bothered her. She said to her Father, "What about Keith and his feelings?" He smiled and said "There are cultures that regard the birthday as a 'rebirth' in the life cycle."
"What do you mean a rebirth?' She asked her Father. "Keith is a great warrior my daughter! Only a great warrior can pilot Black Lion!" He stopped, and then said to her "Just so you know, your second son will one day pilot Black Lion!"
She looked and said "What do you mean, my second son?" The King smiled and said to her "Arus must be kept secure for Voltron. The Mejiks chose Arus because of the Royal house. The Royal House honors the people, and the Royal House honors them." He looked at her and said "You have chosen an honorable man, who will stand beside you, and Arus. He loves you very much, and you are going to have quite a few children."
Allura thought about that, realizing that having Pidge's children would be wonderful and special. She said to her Father "But how does that pertain to Keith and his birthday?" He watched her as she started to understand what she and Pidge were going to create.
"Daughter, Keith has spent eight years in love with you, and has kept his life on hold!" He looked her in the eye and said "It is not your fault that he fell in love with you all those years ago! But you have to release him from that, and before his birthday. He deserves the chance to start fresh, and you are the only one who can give him that!"
He was gone after that, and she spent some more time down there, thinking about what he said. She realized what she needed to do, and she decided that she would do it first thing tomorrow morning.