Wow, now I've actually made some people feel sorry for Ranger!

I need to send out a special thanks to Margaret Fowler...I had a little dilemma with a decision I was making for this story and she made a great sounding board. The decision had to be made before I finished writing this chapter because I needed to put the lead in here. You are a great sounding board to bounce my ideas and without even realizing your doing it you give me more ideas :-) .

All the reviews were awesome...so here's some happy for you.

CHAPTER 35
MERRY CHRISTMAS

I sat there in the corner until I was all cried out. I felt good that I finally got through to Ranger about giving me some space. It's just that I didn't expect it to be so painful for me. Never in a million years did I expect to see tears fall from Ranger's eyes. He looked so defeated when he left here. Seeing him that way was heartbreaking. Hopefully I got through to him about Lester as well. Since I really didn't get much of a response from him on that, I guess only time will tell.

As I was sitting with my head still down on my folded arms I felt something brush against my foot. It didn't really register in my head as I reflexively moved my foot to slightly away from where it was. After a few seconds the same thing happened. There was a very light sensation almost like a feather that brushed at my big toe. Because I was still too wrapped up in my emotions for it to register in my head what it was I just moved my foot away slightly from the feather sensation.

It wasn't until the third time it happened that I actually realized what it was and snapped my head up.

"Rex!" I called out as I saw his little nose sniffing at my feet. His little whiskers tickling my toes. Fresh tears fell at the sight of Rex. But this time they were happy tears. If there was one thing that could lift my spirits and bring me out of my sorrowful mood right now. This was it. Ranger was not forgotten about, but right now it was all about Rex.

I didn't want to move to fast to pick him up, because he would probably take off to where ever it was he has been hiding since my apartment was broken into. Slowly I sat up careful not to move my feet, which was really hard since Rex's cute little nose and whiskers were tickling my toes. I watched him until I couldn't stand the tickling on my toes any longer.

Slowly I stood and then bent down and gently scooped Rex into my hands. I was so excited about him being here that I had to keep reminding myself to go slow and not scare him away. Lifting the bottom of my shirt to make a pouch, I placed Rex inside. Rex had a little tendency to bite if he was held too long. I made my way to the kitchen with him in my shirt.

His new cage was sitting right there on the counter waiting for him. I gently scooped him from my shirt and placed him in his new cage. I pulled a chair up by the counter and watched as he sniffed around and checked out all the new tubes, his new soup can and his new wheel. A half hour later I was still watching him run around. Then I realized I hadn't put his food and water in there. Feeling guilty with myself I not only gave him fresh food and water, but I took out a cherry pop tart to share as well.

Before sharing the pop tart with him, I carried his cage to my bedroom with me and placed it on the floor next to the side of the air mattress I was sleeping on. I turned the radio off, laid on the bed, got under the covers and opened the pop tart. I broke Rex off some of the crust, because he couldn't have the cherry part. I set the rest of it on the floor, so it was sitting on top of the wrapper and broke of pieces to eat as I waited for Rex to come out of his soup can to get his piece. Rex stuck his head out and sniffed around before scurrying out to snatch up his share of my pop tart. I swear he looked right up at me and would have said thank you if he could. He stuffed his portion in his mouth and scurried back into the can and turned himself around and ate it. With sleepy eyes I watched Rex eat his pop tart as he watched me eat mine. I watched until he finished. Once Rex had eaten every crumb he came out of his can and climbed onto his wheel. I drifted off to sleep with the comforting sound of Rex running on his wheel, a smile on my face and a little bit of peace in my heart.

"Stephanie" I faintly heard a voice whisper loudly behind me as a hand gently shook me.

"Uhnnnnnn" I shrugged the hand off and pulled the blankets over my head.

"Stephanie" The voice a little louder and the shaking a little harder.

"Noooooo." I groaned trying to ignore the voice.

"Come on breakfast is almost ready." Lester's voice finally registered as I became more conscious.

I pulled the blanket down from my head and looked at him. "Merry Christmas" I said with a smile. "I was supposed to make you breakfast."

"Merry Christmas" He said crouching down to give me a kiss on my cheek. "You were sleeping so well and it was getting late, but I didn't want to wake you. I only did the coffee and the bacon I brought, the waffles are still waiting on you."

"What time is it?" I asked sleepily. I don't even remember what time I fell asleep last night. All I know is that it was late.

"It's almost ten." Lester answered.

"What!" I said sitting up quickly. Mary Lou was expecting me at twelve. I hadn't eaten, showered, dressed or wrapped the gifts for everyone yet. "Shit" I threw off the covers and got up.

I carried Rex's cage to the kitchen. I wasn't quite ready to let him out of my sight yet.

"Where did you find Rex?" Lester asked as he followed behind me.

"I didn't. Rex found me." I said and pulled the waffles out of the freezer sticking two in the toaster for Lester.

"Rex found you?" He asked not believing what I told him.

"I was sitting by the door last night after Ranger left and Rex started sniffing at my bare feet." I explained to Lester, still overly ecstatic about having Rex back. I pulled Lester's waffles out of the toasters and slid mine in. Before handing the waffles to Lester I tore a piece off and tossed it in Rex's bowl.

"Hey!" Lester said as he grabbed the plate from me. "Give me that before you feed that hamster all of my food." He tried to play like he was upset about it, but nearly smiling the whole time.

He drowned his waffle in syrup, just like I do. He ate a couple bites and I started working on mine before he spoke again. "So Ranger was here last night?"

"Yeah, he showed up here last night. I thought he would." I answered him as I started crunching on some bacon. Mmmm, I love extra crispy bacon.

"I wonder if his visit had anything to do with his strange behavior this morning." He said it as a statement, but his voice was full of curiosity.

But I couldn't ease his curiosity without without asking my own question. "What do you mean by strange?"

"When he came down to relieve me, he apologized to me for being such an ass to me since he's been back." I stared at Lester probably with a dumbfounded look on my face. After last night I was hoping that I got through to Ranger and that he would back off of Lester. Hearing Lester tell me this made me realize that I actually did. And on top of that he listened to EVERYTHING I said.

Lester looked back at me probably trying to read my thoughts. "Then he thanked me for taking care of you when he was gone, wished me a Merry Christmas and told me to enjoy my breakfast." Now I could tell he was really curious.

"So...are you enjoying your breakfast?" Was all I said to him.

He busted out laughing. "Yes, I am. Now are you going to tell me what happened?" He asked returning the smile I had on my face.

"Ranger showed up and eves dropped on our phone conversation." I told Lester.

"And I'm still alive?" He asked jokingly.

I listened to his question, but since I knew he was just being funny I continued with my story. "He questioned me again on our relationship. I was tired of him asking me about it and taking his jealousy out on you. So I laid it all out for him. He really didn't respond to what I had to say. It makes me feel good that he heard me and actually listened to what I had to say."

"He sure listened to something you said. He was like a different person."

"What do you mean by different?"

"I don't know, just different." I know there was more to his description of 'different' and as much as I wanted to push him for the information I knew it would be better for myself if I didn't. It would just make my personal guilt I had over hurting him worse even though I knew I had nothing to feel guilty for.

"He also agreed to back off and give me some space."

Now Lester looked a little surprised. "Really?" He asked.

"Yeah, but he also said he's not giving up." I looked up from my plate. but at least I get my space."

I didn't think it was right to share the details of our conversation with Lester or the fact that Ranger cried. Some things were just meant to stay between two people and this was one of them.

Lester and I finished our breakfast together. He headed back to his apartment at Rangeman to get some sleep. I got ready for the rest of my day.

It was really hard for me to leave Rex at home while I went out for the day. I turned back once, going back to the kitchen. After a short conversation with Rex, he agreed to stay in his cage and not go anywhere. Really. He did. I swear it. I swear I saw him not his head in agreement. I'm sure it was the promise of another late night pop tart that helped.

Before going to Mary Lou's house I stopped to drop off the painting I picked up for Lucy. She loved it and it fit perfectly on the faded paint spot on her wall. She sent me off with some freshly made pie and some brownies to share with Mare's kids.

I arrived at Mary Lou's house just in time to finish helping her with our Christmas meal. She was smart enough not to let me touch the food. My contribution was to set the table and help put the food out.

Mary Lou outdid herself on dinner like usual. I don't know how her and Lenny did it, but for me it was hard to sit there and not think about Lenny's illness. For the two of them I did my best to put on my happy face and focus on the meal in front of me. The kids were a great distraction though. It was easy to get caught up in their excitement. I heard about every one of the Christmas presents they received from Santa Claus. The memories of Christmas morning as a kid filled my thoughts.

Even though my mom and sister were being total bitches, I still missed Christmas with my family. This is my first Christmas day I've ever spent away from my parent's house. It was great to be here with Mare and her family, and the Christmas party at Lester's was fantastic as well, but it just wasn't the same. I watched the interaction between everyone while they ate, talked and laughed together. This is nice I thought, maybe someday I can have Christmas dinner like this in my own home with my husband and children.

Whoa! Where the hell did that thought come from? I nearly choked on my food when I realized what I was thinking. I shook my head to clear that thought from my mind. Still trying to figure out how that image popped itself into my head. Up til this time I didn't have any future plans on getting married, and I definitely don't want children. Right?

Right. No kids.

When dinner ended I gave the boys the Christmas presents I brought for them. They got a new video game and some snowball throwing things I found at the store. One of those gifts that parents hate. It looked like a large melon baller. But the stick part was flexible so that after you scooped the snowball up you could hold it up and fling it at your opponent.

"Boys, why don't you go outside and play with those. I'm going to help your parents clean up and then I'll be out to play with you." I held up my own snowball launcher to show them. Which earned me some hoots and hollers from them as the bundled up and headed out the back door.

What I really wanted to do was get some alone time with Mary Lou and Lenny. Maggie was still young enough not to know what we were talking about. I wanted to give them their gift and really hoped that they accepted it.

The first idea I had for their gift changed after I visited with Joe and Emily the other day. I had intended to rent them a cabin at their favorite camping spot near the Poconos Mountain. Every summer they packed up the kids, took the two-hour drive to Pennsylvania, pitched a tent and camped out for a couple weeks. There were some beautiful cabins out there with private decks, patios, and barbecue pits. The cabins were located near the water falls and within walking distance to the river. Mare would always tell me that one summer they hoped to have enough money to rent one of the cabins and stay the entire summer. So my initial gift was to rent one of those cabins for them to all spend time quality time together in a relaxed environment for as long as they wanted. Mary Lou told me she wanted Lenny to be able to relax and to enjoy the time he had left and I wanted to make that possible for her to do for him.

Then while I was visiting Joe and Emily, something came up in a conversation I was having with Emily about the situation when Joe stepped out of the room. I couldn't help talking to Emily. She had a knack for knowing when something was wrong and drawing it out of you. So it turns out that her father is a well known doctor who knows somebody. You know how that goes. You know somebody who knows somebody and they know somebody. This time I was very interested in the final somebody. This somebody was a neurosurgeon in Arizona who takes the risks and has saved fifty percent of the patients that have come to him with a terminal diagnosis. Most times I would think fifty percent of a chance is not very good. But when your talking about a persons life when they have already been given a diagnosis of death, then it seems pretty damn good.

So, my gift to Mary Lou and Lenny if they accept it. Is hope. Is a possible chance for Lenny to enjoy more time with his family. For the boys and Maggie to grow up with their father. For Mary Lou to grow old with her husband. Hope.

I have made all of the necessary arrangements. The appointment. The flight. A place for them to stay that has room for the kids. All they need to do is accept and hope.

Mary Lou and I cleaned up the kitchen while Lenny cleaned up Maggie and set her in her playpen to entertain herself. After we were done cleaning and Maggie was settled we sat down at the kitchen table and I explained everything to the two of them. Once I was done I slid a large envelope across the table to them and explained the arrangements made. I was so nervous. I was afraid I was overstepping my bounds and I probably was. But if this could help I was willing to take the chance of them being angry at me. Slowly the two of them started looking through the envelope and the information I printed. I pulled out my laptop and accessed the information on the doctor. After turning over the laptop I excused myself to give them time to talk. I grabbed my new snowball thrower, bundled up and headed outside to play with the boys.

So Jamie and Michael decided it was them against me. I was double teamed and losing. Even so I was determined to keep them out there for about twenty more minutes to give Mary Lou and Lenny more time if needed. I suggested us building a snow fort. They were all up for that and twenty minutes later they declared themselves kings of the snow fort and started launching snowballs at me from behind their safe walls. A couple minutes later Mary Lou came to the rescue by calling us in for some hot chocolate. Thank god. I can't remember the last time I was outside long enough that my fingers and nose turned numb from the cold. I was the first one in the door getting my mug of hot chocolate.

The three of us frozen people sat down in front of the fire, sipping our hot chocolate and listening to Christmas music. I may miss the chaotic traditional family Christmas that happens at my parents house, but being here like this sure helps. I looked over at Mary Lou and Lenny, who were sitting on the couch with their own cups of cocoa. Mary Lou made eye contact with me and nodded her head. I knew that meant they decided to go to meet the doctor in Arizona.

Maggie picked that time to start fussing. Mary Lou went to fix a bottle for her and I picked Maggie up from the playpen while Lenny went to get the boys ready for bed. I passed the baby off to Mary Lou to feed while I made a couple of phone calls. There were several people I had to call and wish a Merry Christmas to before movie time. I finished my calls and all the kids came back in the room dressed in their pajamas. We all settle down together to watch everyone's favorite Christmas Movie, Home Alone. All the lights were off except for the Christmas Tree and the television. About thirty minutes into the movie I felt a tugging on my pants. Maggie was standing by my legs trying to use my pants to pull herself up to the chair. I picked her up and she made herself comfortable right in the crook of my arm. Her head resting on my chest. She had taken a bath after her bottle and smelled like fresh baby powder or shampoo. I don't know which it was but it smelled so fresh and clean. It was very relaxing. After a short time I noticed her breathing even out and her wiggling stop as she drifted off to sleep right there against me. I wasn't too far behind her. I looked over and noticed that both of the boys were sleepy eyed, their mom and dad were looking very relaxed.

This is how Christmas should be, I thought to myself as I started to drift off...

There I was settled on the couch with my husband. The Christmas tree was lit. A fire burning in the fireplace. The remaining smells of Christmas dinner still in the air. Our children crowded around us as we settled down to watch a movie together Christmas night. The happiness and joy was obvious in the room all around us. Our kids were beautiful. I couldn't see them in my dream, but it was something that I just knew. I was so proud of them as I was my husband. My husband? Who is he? I turned my head towards him to see who my husband was...