For Mine Eyes Only

by SilverWolf7

In a way to try and help Spock deal with the death of his mother, planet and everything with it, the ship counsellor tasks him to not openly express his emotions like a human would, but to write them down instead. He reluctantly agrees to it.

35. Stress

Yes, this is all the chapter. I know, it doesn't end. It was written that way on purpose.

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35

I have taken the rest of the time off. I can't work like this.

One more week to go and I am feeling worse with every passing day. My nerves are gone from stress. I jump at sounds that usually would get no reaction from me. I keep imagining that we're going back to Earth to die. My hands won't stop shaking.

I said I didn't want a repeat performance of my actions when I went through Mother's Day. This is worse. This is much worse.

Before this order to get back to Earth, I could pretend that I went to see Doctor Stevens because of orders to do so. It was to begin with, but didn't stay that way.

Now I need help. Desperately.

I don't think this is enough.

I have no idea what I need, but I do need something. I just haven't received it yet.

I am not going through my Time, but I imagine this is how it feels, with the burning of the fever along with the anxiety. I do not look forward to going through that at all.

As with that problem, I fear this one will kill me too, if I don't find what I need and quickly.

McCoy has given me some pills for the anxiety today. He said they work fast, and will probably make me drowsy. I have just taken the proper dose and am waiting for the