Sorry it's been like FOREVER since I've updated! Also, I started the new sequel in the Joe/Katelyn series called "Right Here Waiting", so don't forget to read and review that!

To Plan

Joe

I could still hear the echo from the slamming door. It had been ten minutes, but I still felt her words cutting me. Slowly, I sank to the floor and put my head in my hands, for once feeling like it was okay for me to cry. Joe Solomon doesn't cry. He does now.

I knew that I shouldn't have told her. I knew that it was only going to rebuild the wall that had taken me too long to completely break down. I should have just kept it a secret and taken her to the empty grave so that she could grieve a man that wasn't really dead. But would I have been able to live with myself if I had? Could I have gone on every day with that knowledge, knowing that somewhere deep inside, she would always hurt from it? No, I honestly didn't think that I could have. But what was I supposed to do now? Just let her go? Then I would be living in pain every day for the rest of my life.

There was no answer. For once, I was at a loss as to what to do. I knew that going after her would be foolish; she would just push me further away. She needed time to think and decide what she was going to do. And if she wanted to leave me and go back to Jack, I knew that I would have to accept that.

She needed to be happy.

Cayden

I opened the laptop and sat cross-legged on my bed while I waited for it to warm up. All around me was silence, but inside of me was a turmoil like no other. There were so many emotions that, at one point, I had to close my eyes and meditate the way that I had been taught to conceal emotions. To sweep them under a rug.

The computer was warm and so I typed in everything I needed to get into the database and then the little rectangle appeared. Name of person you would like to search:

I stared at it for a moment and then my fingers moved over the key in a blur. Jack McBradden.

The screen faded and then a new one came up, a list of names. I clicked on one and when it came up, my breath caught in my throat. It was Jack. He looked the same as always, except, perhaps, for a little bit older. He still had the same dishwater blond hair and bright blue eyes. The same muscle tone. He was absolutely gorgeous.

I reached out and touched the picture as tears spilled over from my eyes. How was it that I had never quite realized how much I really missed him until I saw his picture again? Why did I feel like my heart was breaking all over again? "I'm sorry," I whispered to the picture. "I'm so sorry that I never tried to look for you. I should have known. I should have known."

And then, I continued to scroll down the page, looking at a bunch of stuff that I already knew. His college soccer records, his PhD, his time teaching at the school. There was a little bit about his parents, and then some links to newspaper articles that mentioned him. Instead of clicking on any of those, I continued to scroll down, trying to find the information.

And there it was. His address in New Hampshire. Joe hadn't lied. Well, actually, he had. He should have told me the second that he knew instead of keeping it a secret. Feeling the rage bubble inside of me, I took a few deep breaths to try to suppress it. He wasn't worth being angry over.

I clicked on a picture of his house and I smiled when I saw it. It was plain and simple, one-story with a perfectly manicured yard. He wouldn't have wanted a huge house. I tried to find information on employment, but all that came up was the name of a diner. Did he own it or something? Oh, well, I would figure all of that out when I went to find him.

I smiled as I pictured it happening. I would walk into the diner and maybe he would be there, talking to customers, or maybe he would be at home. Either way, I would wait on him. And then, when he came in the door and saw me, he would smile and run to me, pulling me into his arms. And I would finally feel safe with another person, safe with him. I could be my true self again, not the part of me that I had become by running away to the CIA. We could be happy together.

When I glimpsed the ring on my hand, I took it off and slammed it onto the nightstand beside the bed. I no longer belonged to Joe. I would never belong to Joe. Not after what he had done. But, just as I thought that, I felt an ache in my stomach. I knew that I loved Joe, I really did. But he had lied to me, and I wasn't about to move on from that. I was angry at him and it was the type of anger that wouldn't go away easily.

I put the computer aside and went to go take a shower. After my shower, I dried off and pulled on sweatpants and a T-shirt, and then blow-dried my hair just for something to do. I knew that I would have to go downstairs eventually, but I needed some time. I wasn't going to leave, though. I had a mission to complete and when I accepted a job, I saw it through.

Speaking of jobs, I was going to have to find one once I was reunited with Jack. It wouldn't be too hard to get myself into a college, though. I could even fake a degree and then go into whatever field that I wanted…

With a sigh, I pulled my hair into a ponytail and then headed downstairs.

Joe

I heard her coming, but I couldn't move. Instead, I just sat there with a plate of untouched bacon in front of me. My coffee was no longer hot. I still hurt.

She came into the room and she knew that I was there, but she studiously ignored me.

"There's bacon," I said softly.

"No, thanks," she said. "I think I'll just have some cereal."

I kept quiet and watched her pour some into a bowl and then add milk. She grabbed a spoon and, rather than join me at the table, she leaned against the counter to eat.

And that's when I noticed that my ring was missing from her hand.

She was going back to Jack.

My throat closed up and I had to look down at the map on the table to hide my tears from the girl that had stolen my heart.

Cayden

"What are you looking at?" I finally had to ask, because he'd been staring at that map for a long time. Just because he'd kept me in the dark about Jack, didn't mean he should keep me in the dark about our mission.

He looked up at me and I started a bit when I saw the pain in his unusually dull green eyes. When he spoke, I could hear his pain. "Looking at all possible exits. We'll have to attack Dominic at the end of this week."

I nodded slowly, having totally forgotten that the time was drawing near. "I guess I need to start practicing with my moving targets again."

"We're going to have to make another surveillance trip soon to scout the roads and-"

"Then let's go today," I said and poured the rest of my cereal down the drain. "I'll drive."

And then, I grabbed the keys from the hook beside the door and went outside, not caring about the chilly wind because I was already frozen on the inside.

Joe

As soon as I was inside the vehicle, she took off. I knew that she wasn't going to hit anything, but her driving scared me because it proved just how angry she was. And she had a right to be. I should have told her much sooner. Or, maybe I shouldn't have looked her up at all after that day. I should have just left it alone. And then, we would be perfectly happy.

When we reached the town, she asked me to begin reciting the exit roads and I did. We drove all along them, deciding on the best ones, and then we headed back to the safe house. I offered to drive twice, but she refused each time, claiming that she was fine.

I wanted to be brave enough to say something, but what would I say? I'd already told her everything that I had to say. She knew how much I loved her and how much I wanted her. She knew. And I knew that she loved me, but she apparently loved Jack so much more.

I couldn't fault her for that.

When we reached the house, we swept it and then sat down at the table, the chill sweeping over both of us even though the heater was going.

Finally, she spoke, in a voice hard as stone and sharp as a knife. "So, what's the plan?"

I looked into her beautiful blue eyes that were iced over, her hard expression, and sighed. "Let's come up with one together."

She cringed when I said 'together', but she nodded. "Fine." She spread the blueprints of the warehouse out. "What do you think?"

"We have to kill the security system," I said.

She stared at it for a minute. "That's over here," she pointed. Then, she thought for a second more. "Maybe we should cut the lights."

"What good would that do?" I asked her, not being argumentative, just curious.

She pointed to the stairs that led to the basement. "The back-up generator is in the basement. Everyone would go down there to try to get the lights up and running. Everyone except…"

"Dominic," I nodded. "He'd probably stay in the office. It's a good plan."

She nodded. "Thanks."

"Will the darkness affect your shooting?"

She leaned back in her chair and shook her head. "No. I'll just put a scope on."

"Night-vision?" I asked. "How would that help?"

"It wouldn't." She closed her eyes as if she were tired and bored with our conversation. "But a heat detector scope would."

"What if you shot me by accident?"

She looked at me, leveling me. "I wouldn't. I'm not that careless."

"I know," I said softly.

She stood up and headed for the fridge. We had been driving the roads for hours, so long that we had missed lunch. And it was definitely past dinnertime as well. But instead of standing up and getting myself something to eat, I just watched Cayden.

Because I might not get another chance. If she left to be with jack, I had a feeling that she wasn't going to be coming back to the CIA. And even if she did come back to the CIA, I probably wouldn't be put on anymore missions with her. I'd never had a mission with a sniper before, after all. I probably wouldn't have one again.

She finished making her sandwich and began putting everything back where it belonged. I just watched her smooth, graceful motions. I observed the way that she moved and the way that her ponytail swung from side to side. I wanted to pull her into my arms and tell her that I was sorry, but I knew that she would never accept it. Not now.

So, instead, I stood up and headed for my room, wishing that I could just sleep the rest of the mission away.

When I laid down and picked up Cayden's scent on the pillows, I began to cry, softly at first, and then louder until I was sure that my heart was no longer there.