Ch 35
Elsa
I stood there, mouth wide open, my knees shaking. I couldn't blink or talk or move…
She stood there as I'd last seen her, dark brown hair in its usual bun, her dress was purple. It was the dress she wore when she left with Papa…
"Honey close your mouth it's not polite to stare." She said with a smile as she approached me.
I closed my mouth and shook my head in disbelief.
E:"This is another one of Pitch's nightmares isn't it? Just like with Jack and Anna, any moment now, you're going to die and then come back to life and then the cycle repeats over and over and over again…"
I said as I fell to my knees and hugged myself, At some point I felt my body shake and I realized I was sobbing, then I felt a hand on my shoulder and saw mother there trying to comfort me.
I leaned into her embrace, not caring if she disappeared the moment I looked up, not caring if the pain of losing my mother was fresh once again.
"There, there sweetheart. It's alright. I'm not going anywhere alright?"
I nodded and looked up, surprisingly nothing happened. She didn't freeze with the touch of my hand, she didn't suddenly vanish. She was still there, her smile bright and warm as it had always been.
"Elsa what's gotten into you? I told you I'm not going anywhere, I'll be here as long as you need me."
E:"Mother I… I'm so confused…" I admitted to her. Whether this was Pitch or my own imagination, I couldn't take her presence for granted. Maybe she could help me sort out this whole mess, or I was already crazy and there was no hope for me.
"I've seen darling, but now tell me everything that's happened all this time. We can get through it together." She said with a smile that only seemed to make the room grow brighter.
But we weren't in a room, until now I hadn't noticed where we were.
It looked like a meadow, stretching quite far in the distance until one saw a wall of trees on the horizon. The sky was blue and all around us were beautiful lilies of all colors. My mother's favorites.
At first we just talked about how beautiful her garden was, and I even asked her why Papa wasn't here and all she said was that he was "indisposed…", her word for him whenever he was away on a trip.
Then I proceeded to tell her everything that happened since I met Jack. She seemed surprised that he had been the one to have helped me control my powers but she didn't seem to have any implications with me inviting a complete stranger to my room every night.
Then again after telling the whole story up to having no idea how I was sitting with her, Jack coming to my room every night was probably the least of anyone's worries at the moment.
She sat there with a pensive look on her face.
I missed everything about her, she always seemed to get this little wrinkle in the middle of her forehead when she was in deep thought, and she always bit her bottom lip on the left side specifically. For some reason this brought tears to my eyes and I realized I was crying yet again. I'd never gotten over her death and all the mess going on lately made me feel like I had disappointed her more than anything.
"Sweetie what's the matter?"
E:"Nothing mom it's just… I… I'm sorry I feel like… like I disappointed you and Papa… I failed as a daughter and as a Queen I-"
"Elsa no! You could never disappoint us! I understand this whole situation with Pitch. I would have done the same in your place. A queen always looks for the best solution, one that will always benefit her people. Even if it means sacrificing herself…."
She was right, I knew I had no other choice to save Anna, Jack, Kristoff, my kingdom… I needed to make this sacrifice. It was the only wa-
"However, "uh-oh "you need to tell them the truth of what's going on. You cannot take this on all by yourself dear. They need you as much as you need them, and you and Jack need to be completely honest if you are to maintain your relationship. I know there are risks but is it worth losing their love, their trust in you?"
Well she was right yet again. Deep down inside I knew I needed to tell them, but I had always been afraid of their response.
E:" But what if they get hurt in the process? Pitch said he'd kill Jack mother. How do I know he'll stop there and not massacre all of Arendelle?"
"There is no greater pain than the feeling of being lied to Elsa. The truth will set you free."
As she said those last words a breeze blew past us, and when I turned to face her once more she was leaving.
E:"Mama wait! I don't know what to do! Please!" I yelled as I ran towards her, never seeming to actually get any closer, and she was walking.
"You always had the answers. I know you'll do the right thing… I'll give your father a hug for you. Tell Anna I love her…" and suddenly she was gone as another gust of wind blew.
E:" Don't leave me…"