A/N: Omg... I, like... haven't updated in, like... two weeks... 0.0 OMG! GOMEN! GOMEN GOMEN GOMENASAI! uwah... I've just been so caught up in the Weiss Kreuz series... -falls over- Oro? (haha... Kenshin moment... XD)
Disclaimer: I don't own the Naruto series. Oh! And, for the Guesstures game, I used two things from a fanflash I've seen on newgrounds. If ANYONE wants a link, ask me in review or email me... (It's the two songs Kisame uses)
XXX
Night Two Continues...
Neji clicked the machine's top down and the timer began. He was worried about the last one, because he had no idea how to act it out, but he still had a little time while he tried the first three.
As the timer droned on, Neji started off with the first one. This one was easy. He started making sweeping motions with his hands.
"BROOM!" Itachi got to it first. Neji dashed to the machine and yanked the first card out as Kimimaro put a vertical dash underneath the section labeled 'The Black Coated Puffy Red Cloud Guys'.
Neji scrambled to his bathroom and put on a diaper as fast as he could, dashing back to the game. He sat down and fake-cried, sucking his thumb.
"WOOHOO! TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF!" Sasuke squealed from the sidelines. Neji shot him a death glare as Itachi cried out the answer yet again.
"BABY!" The elder Uchiha shouted as Kimimaro put another vertical dash underneath their teams name.
Neji jumped to the machine, taking off the diaper in the process and yanking the second card from the machine. The third card was slightly difficult. Neji didn't want to do it, but he did.
He got down on his knees and started roaring like a lion.
"LION!" Itachi guessed. Neji shook his head and starting to 'lizard-push-ups'. Everyone stared at him. Neji struggled with thinking of something else to do. Then, he spotted the perfect prop: a hoolahoop.
He leapt to his feet and grabbed it. He propped it up and acted like he was setting it on fire. Then, he got down on all fours and rampaged through it like a madman. Everyone stared wide eyed as Neji crashed into the wall, then got to his feet, and started laughing. Everyone cocked their heads and looked at each other, exchanging glances. Neji stopped laughing and growled something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like 'morons'. Then, he went over to his fish tank and stuck his head in it. Tenten blinked, and scooched over to the machine, taking a quick glance at the third card to see what the hell Neji was acting out. Her eyes widened as she realized they'd NEVER get it that way, so she decided to help him out. She jumped into the center and started acting like a chimp as Neji ballet danced in the background, twirling like a ballerina.
The only sound that could be heard was the timer ticking away as the two made fools of themselves in the middle of Neji's living room. All the players had their jaws at their knees. No one knew what the fuck was going on.
Click
The door opened and in came...
"Hey, Neji! I was jus-"
Hiashi stopped dead in his tracks and dropped all the papers he was holding, his jaw newly dangling at his feet.
"Woah! Cool! Neji's a lunatic!" Hanabi marveled. Neji and Tenten both gaped at her.
"But... that's the answer..." Neji stuttered. Everyone in the audience all nodded "oooooh!".
Neji just sighed and shook his head, dashing back to the Guesstures machine as the card was nearly swiped into the unknown. The Hyuuga snagged it and went on to the next one. The last one.
Tenten stood back and explained what was going on to a baffled Hiashi and an excited Hanabi as Neji started doing something he had done only in his wildest dreams.
With this last card being acted out, Neji had officially lost all his dignity.
The Hyuuga got into position in the middle of his living room, then did a couple hand-signs. The next words would go down in history...
"Orioke no jutsu!" Neji shouted.
"WHAAAAT!-?" The crowd shouted in awe as a giant puff of smoke appeared. Naruto gaped.
"Hey! He stole my signature jutsu, dattebayo!" The blonde screamed as the smoke cleared. All the guys just marveled as blood gushed from their nostrils.
Neji's orioke was probably the best in all of Konoha. Even Naruto was impressed by the curvy figure before him.
"Hey..." Neji cooed in a sexy voice. His girlish figure was femininely curved in all the right places and his breasts were definitely rounder than any bra size available. His hair sexily flowed around his upper half.
"N-N-N-N-N-" Tenten stuttered, completely baffled. Hiashi covered Hanabi's eyes whispering 'don't ever speak of this moment again...'.
Neji sweatdropped as he realized he had just made everyone forget they were playing Guesstures.
"Hello!-? Someone mind guessing, eh!-?" Neji huffed femininely. All the women playing (namely Tenten, Sakura, and Tayuya) looked down to their own chests and blushed.
'Dude... my boobs are microscopic compared to his! And that just sounded SO wrong!-!' Sakura thought angrily. Sai looked over to Sakura.
"Sakura-chan... something wrong?" He asked. Sakura growled as the shinobi cocked his head. "I don't think your boobs are micro-"
PUNCH!
"Itai..." Sai mumbled in his newly indented space in the wall.
"SHANNARO!" Sakura screamed. Neji sweatdropped.
"Please, Sakura... stop shouting the name of your team and get back to GUESSING!" Neji shouted. Sakura smiled.
"That's easy! A sexy beast!"
Everyone sweatdropped.
"A slut!" Itachi shouted. Neji shook his head and blushed wildly. He'd have to give them another clue...
Everyone was amazed as Neji took Tenten by the waist, blushing to the extreme, and kissed her.
"Ooo! Ahh!" Everyone exclaimed on cue.
"LESBIAN!" Kidoumaru shouted. Neji growled and let Tenten out of the kiss. He was going to give them another clue...
Only... none of them had noticed that the last card was already gone AND the timer had stopped running...
Neji waltzed slutily up to Itachi and wrapped his arms around him seductively. Itachi blinked, completely stunned.
"Hey, honey... want some sugar...?" Neji whispered. Itachi drooled and nodded. Neji got the 'flat-face' expression and slapped him. "Pervert..." He growled.
"SEX!" Sasuke shouted. Neji smiled and pointed to Sasuke.
"YES!" He shouted exasperatedly and transformed out of the orioke. Everyone, except the girls, all sighed dramatically as Kimimaro added a dash to 'The Girl Scouts'...
Neji huffed and went to sit down next to Tenten. Tenten sweatdropped and slapped Neji right before he sat down.
"MY TURN!" Itachi shouted as he leapt up and dashed to the Guesstures game. He yanked out four cards and read them silently. With a smirk, he called up Kisame and whispered something in his ear. The blue man nodded and Itachi took a seat. Everyone blinked, unsure of what was going on.
"Er... I'm taking Itachi's turn..." Kisame explained, reading over the cards. Everyone nodded, understanding now. The blue man put the cards in the machine and started the time. He immediately took a CD from his pocket and put it into a CD player. As he turned up the volume, everyone recognized it to be the 'Jaw's Theme Song'. Kisame smirked, put a fin on his back and started to crawl around the room, gliding in between chairs and couches, and roaring at random players as he went about.
"SHARK!" Sakura guessed. Kisame shook his head.
"JAWS!" Sasuke realized. Kisame smiled and stopped acting like a deranged idiot as Kimimaro put another slash under the Girl Scouts. Kisame then moved onto the next one. Easily enough, he put changed the number on the CD. As the intro started, Kisame's back faced the audience. Then, the music started.
'Yo, listen up! Here's a story, about a little guy that lived in the blue world.. and all day and all night and everything he sees is just blue! Like him! Inside and outside...' Kisame started dancing. Then, the chorus struck. "I'M BLUE, DABA DI DABA DI! DABA DI DABA DI, DABA DI DABA DI!" And Kisame rocked out to it, with the head bob and all.
Everyone stared at him as he played the air guitar.
"BLUE!" Orochimaru called out. Kisame stopped rocking out to the blue song and Kimimaro put a dash underneath the title of 'The Sweatdrops'. Kisame then went on to the next card. So far, everything had been going smoothly. He then grabbed Zetsu and pulled the plant up to the front.
"Zetsu will act this one out!" Kisame informed the players. He whispered what the card was into Zetsu's ear. The plant/black and white cookie nodded and stood at the front. Everyone watched, awaiting the action. Then, Zetsu started to breath.
cricket...cricket...
"Uh... what's he doing...?" Hidan asked.
"I can't tell you!" Kisame shouted ignorantly.
"We give up!" Everyone shouted angrily. Kisame sweatdropped.
"It was photosynthesis..."
"..." Zetsu blinked, then went back to his seat. Kisame then moved to his last card.
"May I use words for this card, Neji?" He asked. Neji shrugged.
"I guess so..."
Kisame smiled.
"Alright! He I go..."
Kisame stood in front of the room and coughed once. Then, he looked up to everyone very seriously and began to act.
"BELIEVE IT! BELIEVE IT! BELIEVE IT! BELIEVE IT! BELIEVE IT!" Kisame shouted, getting that 'look-at-me-I-am-a-doofus' look.
"NARUTO!" Everyone, except Naruto, shouted. Kisame nodded and yanked the card out.
"EH!-? I'm in a card game, dattebayo!-?" Naruto shouted. Kisame showed him the card. Naruto blinked. "Oh... my God..." He whispered.
"Okay! Now, I'm bored!" Tenten decided. Everyone looked up to her. "You know what would be even MORE fun than Guesstures!-?"
"What?" Everyone chimed.
"TWISTER!" She exclaimed. Apparently, no one knew what Twister was, so it was pretty silent. Tenten sweatdropped and explained it to them.
"Ugh... You guys are idiots... Twister is the game where there's four colors and four rows, and four columns, and four body parts. You see... er... well... here. Let me demonstrate!" She smiled and rushed up to get the twister game board. After coming back down, she opened the box, threw the spinner to Kimimaro, who, once again, was not playing, and took out the blanket-like game mat, laying it swiftly on the floor. Everyone marveled at the giant circles of blue, red, green, and yellow. Tenten then showed them the spinner.
"Now... Kimimaro-kun... please hold up the spinner so everyone can see," Tenten instructed as Kimimaro obeyed. "Now... right here, there is a picture of a foot. If I were to land on that and a the color blue, the spinner person, which would be Kimimaro, would call out "left foot blue" and everyone would have to put their left foot on one of the circled that are colored blue!"
"Question!" Neji interrupted.
"Yes, Neji-kun?"
"Etto... there's really no way all of us are going to fit on this one game board..."
"Ugh... let me finish, then, and maybe you'd understand!" Tenten growled and continued. "And after that, the last person standing wins! If you fall over or let any part of your body that's not supposed to be touching touch, then you're out! And...uh... the winner will get...um... this Neji plushie!"
"I WANT A NEJI PLUSHIE!" Everyone cried out in excitement. Neji sweatdropped and looked at the happy little plushie in Tenten's hand.
"Tenten... where did you get that...?" Neji asked.
"Duh! At the latest Naruto cosplay convention!" Tenten sounded as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Neji sweatdropped, not knowing what the hell that was.
"Alright! Everyone ready!-?" Tenten asked enthusiastically. "On your marks... get set... SPIN!"
Kimimaro spun the dial. (A/N: Go ahead, dear readers! Place your bets on who's gonna win!)
"Uh... right foot blue..."
Neji put his right foot on the nearest blue circle, balancing on one foot. Deidara, Sasori, and Tobi shared a blue circle, as did Orochimaru and Sasuke, who kept their balance by hugging each other. Sai, Sakura, and Naruto all shared on circle on the edge, and Zetsu was on one in the middle. Hidan and Kidoumaru took one on the edge and then Tayuya and Tenten took up one. Sakon/Ukon shared one with Jiroubu and Kabuto. Gaara, somehow, had been hiding in the back during Guesstures and decided he wanted to play, so he took the last available blue circle next to Tayuya and Tenten. Itachi took one circle on the outside.
Jiroubu immediately fell to the floor, knocking Sakon/Ukon and Kabuto to the floor as well. Kimimaro giggled.
"You three are out!" He instructed as Jiroubu, Sakon/Ukon, and Kabuto all sat on the couch to watch the rest of the game. Kimimaro spun the dial once more, starting the second round. "Left hand green!" He instructed. Neji easily put his left hand onto the closest green circle and smirked as he watched everyone else try to do the same. Deidara leaned over into a backbend and landed on his left hand, just barely making it into the green circle. Sasori went forward and did a bridge to where his left hand was on a green circle opposite Deidara's. Tobi, somehow, got underneath Sasori and placed his hand upon the same circle as Deidara. Orochimaru leaned sideways as Sasuke backbended like Deidara and put his hand on the same green circle as Sasori's. Naruto went for the furthest green circle and ended up placing his hand on the white part of the board instead of a green circle.
"UWAH! DATTEBAYO!" He cried as he got out of the chaos and sat with the other three who were out. Sai fell frontward, landing his left hand on a green circle, as Sakura maneuvered her way underneath Sai, arching her back so not to knock him over. Zetsu just stood there. If he tried this... he would knock everyone over with his plant-like head. So, he decided it'd be best to just sit this game out. Hidan tried to copy Deidara into a backbend, but failed and fell over cursing. He then went and sat out with everyone else that had gotten out. Kidoumaru, who had no extra hands/arms anymore because they were used to ignite the fire in chapter thirty-seven, put his left hand on a random green circle close by. Tayuya smirked at all the amateurs and put her left hand onto a green circle, stretching her body to where she was underneath Kidoumaru. Itachi fell over. Not because he lost his balance, but because he felt like it. Tenten bent over in a gymnastic-type fashion and put her hand on the last untaken green circle. Gaara smirked and maneuvered his way underneath Tenten smiling at her the entire time.
"Heya, Tenten-chan... what's up?" He asked, smirking. Tenten gave him that 'so-not-going-to-happen' look as Neji almost let his jealousy get to him. Kimimaro spun the spinner again.
"Left foot red..." The Kaguya read off. Everyone on the board groaned and tried their hardest to stay in the game.
Neji decided he would slowly make his way towards Tenten and knock Gaara off the board with his mad ninja skillz! So, he flipped his body over to where his stomach was up and his back was down and stretched his left leg as far as it could possibly go and put it on a red circle: two circles away from Tenten and Gaara. Deidara smiled as he easily placed his left foot on the nearest red circle. Sasori smiled to his partner as he also found this to be amazingly easy. Tobi, however, struggled slightly, and fell over. Luckily, he had been underneath Sasori, so that didn't affect the red-headed nin in any way. Tobi cried for a second, then pouted his way over to the losers. Orochimaru twisted his body, using his snake-like form to his advantage, and put his left foot on the nearest red circle.
"Oh, Orochimaru-dono! You're so talented!" Sasuke squealed fangirlishly as he leaned back and put his left foot on the same red circle as his pedophilic master. Sai tried to lean over Sakura, but ended up knocking them both over. The two marched outside, Sakura yelling cuss words in every direction to her annoying teammate. Kidoumaru put his left foot onto the same one as Sasori, as Tayuya easily maneuvered herself into a pretzel positioning, taking her body away from Tenten and Gaara. Tenten tried to get away from the Suna nin and placed her foot on the furthest red circle she could find. Unfortunately, Gaara did the same and used the sand from his gourd to keep himself up.
"That's cheating!" Tenten exclaimed.
"So?" Gaara asked. Tenten huffed and tried her hardest to keep her balance.
Kimimaro spun the dial once more.
"Right hand red," He instructed, realizing that having two body parts on one circle was going to cause chaos.
Neji growled as he stretched out and put his right hand on the red circle that held his left foot. He looked strikingly similar to Spider Man... Deidara blinked, trying to figure out how this was going to work.
"Uh..." He blinked once more, and tried to put his hand onto the red circle that his foot was on. "Iya!" He squealed as he almost fell over. Sasori, luckily enough, happened to be able to catch the blonde before he was out. Deidara smiled nervously in apology as Sasori sighed, rolling his eyes, and helped the blonde work his way onto the red circle. Orochimaru twisted his body into the form of a spiral and put his right hand onto the same red circle as Sasuke. Unfortunately for the Uchiha, Sasuke fell over and landed on his back. Tears formed at the edges of his eyes as he ran away sobbing.
"SASUKE-KUN!" Orochimaru screeched and ran after the teen, clearly disqualifying himself. Everyone sweatdropped as the game continued. Kidoumaru tried to stay up, but ended up falling over in the process of putting his right hand onto a red circle. He sniffed once, then sat with the losers. Tayuya, once again, easily placed her right hand gently onto a red circle as Tenten tried to get away from Gaara once more by putting her right hand onto the furthest red circle she could reach. Luckily for her, Gaara couldn't reach that far and ended up almost falling over. Tenten started blowing on Gaara with all her might. Everyone stopped and stared as the weapons mistress continued to blow on Gaara, who was giving her the look of 'wtf?'. She then realized everyone was staring at her and smiled sheepishly.
"Uh... I was trying to get him to fall over..."
Neji smiled as he realized Tenten was on his side. He decided to help her. He, somehow, got a kunai into his mouth and spit it at Gaara, who caught it with his sand. The red-headed nin shot 'the power of love' from his forehead as the red kanji soared towards Neji.
"NOO!" Neji screamed as the kanji symbol for 'ai' landed on his cheek with a thud.
"Waha! You have now been marked with the power of love!" Gaara screeched.
Kimimaro ignored this and continued on.
"Left foot yellow..."
Neji stopped.
'oh no... I can't reach yellow... it's on the other side of the board...!' He thought worriedly. 'Omg, omg... what do I do! I can't get out yet! If I do, then Gaara will... oh, GOD!' He shook the perverted thoughts from his mind and got determined. 'Alright! Here it goes!'
In slow motion, the music that is used when man first walked on the moon started to play as Neji, still in slow motion, took his left foot and stretched it as far as he could.
'I'm gonna make it! I'm gonna make it!' He thought excitedly. With one swift movement, he brought his foot down. "Noooooo...oooo!" He yelled in slow motion as his foot just missed the yellow circle by a nano-centimeter.
"You're out Neji..." Kimimaro declared, the slow motion and music gone. Neji stopped.
"NOOOO!" He screeched and back-flipped up into the air, landing onto the back of the couch. "I SHALL NEVER BE DEFEATED! EVER!" He exclaimed, then got a wicked grin. "NEW RULE! Everyone still in the game, listen up! I'm changing the rules around! We're ninja! So, we should make this a ninja-worthy game!"
Everyone got that 'wtf?' look.
"Waha! Which means that ALL WEAPONS ARE NOW LEGAL! WAHAHA!" Neji hollered at the top of his lungs. Everyone's eyes got big. The losers all cheered happily. This would be some kind of entertainment! Kimimaro sighed.
"Mendokusee..." He growled, unintentionally mimicking Shikamaru.
After everyone had placed all their limbs where they were supposed to be, chaos unfolded. All the remaining players (Tenten, Gaara, Tayuya, Deidara, and Sasori) acted upon the new rule. The first thing they found out was that it was quite difficult to retrieve any kind of weapon from it's holster without the use of hands or feet. Not to mention, it was impossible to perform jutsus without hand symbols. So, the five players looked like bugs, trying to reach their heads and tongues into their holsters to retrieve a shuriken or kunai. (Deidara had tried to get a senbon, but found out that that was quite painful...) Kimimaro continued, this time, to the extreme.
"Alright... Right ear blue."
The five stopped trying to get weapons and stared at him.
"EH!-?"
"I added some body parts..." Kimimaro informed them. Everyone looked at each other, then scrambled to try to get their ears to touch a blue circle. Tayuya found this easy, having taken gymnastic lessons for years on end in her spare time. Deidara had quite some difficulty... luckily, though, Sasori helped his friend once more and the two of them found their separate blue circles. Tenten had no difficulty at all. She simply leaned her head sideways onto the nearest blue circle. Gaara smirked. His chance was now. He leaned his body and, right before turning his head to put his right ear down onto the opposite blue circle from Tenten, he pecked the weapons mistress right on the lips, then quickly threw his head down onto the circle, making a large crashing noise emit from the collision. Tenten was shouting cuss words in every direction, while scrambling to keep her body parts where they were supposed to be WHILE trying to get weapons without moving. After a bit of trying that, she found it was impossible. Literally. Kimimaro went on.
"Left tongue yellow."
"Left tongue?" Everyone asked.
"I mean... the left side of your tongue..."
"But... that's impossible...un!" Deidara complained. "If our right ear is placed on a blue circle, we're facing the opposite direction at a yellow circle, meaning that's clearly impossible...un!"
"Oh come on! Orochimaru can do it!" Kimimaro growled. Orochimaru smiled, still comforting Sasuke.
Deidara huffed and tried to do so, but fell on top of Sasori, who fell over also. The blonde blinked and smiled down the red-head below him, who glared up at the Iwa nin sitting on his belly.
"Gomen... Sasori no Danna..." Deidara giggled nervously as he leapt off his partner. Sasori sighed long and hard and got off the board, grumbling something about idiocy under his breath. That left Tayuya, Tenten, and Gaara.
Tayuya, for the first time, found this extremely difficult... So, she tried it. First, she chanted some words under her breath (that was apparently some sort of kinjutsu), and, somehow, her tongue was able to be stretched just like Orochimaru's. So, she just scoffed at the other two players and smiled. Tenten and Gaara glared. They knew they were gonna lose anyways, so Tenten gave up, and, when Tenten gave up, Gaara gave up, leaving Tayuya as the winner.
"YATTA!" She screeched as her tongue went back to normal. "I GET THE NEJI PLUSHIE!" She ran to the plushie and snagged it from Tenten. "MINE!" With that, she rushed out the door. Everyone stared after her for a second, trying to comprehend what had happened, then realized that Tayuya had taken the Neji plushie.
"Uh... what now?" Neji asked. Tenten looked at her watch.
"Well... it's only four in the morning... How about... another game?"
"How about ya go ta sleep, ya mofos!-?" Tsunade growled, newly appearenced in the door of Neji's house. Everyone sweatdropped. She had definitely been kept awake by their fun. Suddenly, her eyes shot open.
"Why are... the Akatsuki... and the Oto nin... playing twister... in Neji's house...?" Tsunade blinked.
"Uhhhhh..." Everyone chimed, unsure of what to say. Tsunade merely rubbed her eyes, stared at them some more, then walked out. Everyone was silent.
"Oo! A scavenger hunt!" Tenten realized.
"Ninja style!" Neji added.
"Woot..." Kimimaro wooted. Tenten and Neji ignored him.
"Okay... who's in?"
"WE ARE!" Everyone shouted. Kimimaro got up.
"Er... okay. I'll make a list of things, hide them around Konoha, and you'll all search for them. Now, teams have to be decided... but, uh... this time, it'll only be two to a team. Jutsu's are allowed, as are weapons and taijutsu, but no killing anyone or landing them in the hospital, kay?" Kimimaro instructed professionally. Everyone agreed. "Okay... find your partner and get ready..."
Everyone nodded and went to finding a partner for the last activity of the night as Kimimaro went to make up a list of things to hide.
XXX
A/N: anyone else notice that I didn't include Kakuzu in the Akatsuki? XD I dunno why I didn't... I suppose I just didn't feel like it. Um... Sorry for the uber long wait and the weird/dull chapter... I'll, definitely, update soon. Oh! And, yeah. There was a bit of implied DeiSaso (because I'm a hard-core yaoi fangirl!) AND there was some GaaTen for FalconFire! XD Oh.. and...
Could all of my contest contestants email me telling me your penname, your fics name, and if it's posted or not, please? (And, also, could my staff members email me or state you are a staff member in a review?) Thankies!
Review please! (The more reviews I get, the faster and the better the update! ;D)
P.S. Do any of you even KNOW how hard it was to write the twister scenario!-? 0.0 omg... that was impossible! XD Oh! You know what's even harder than writing it? Drawing it... I don't think that even a professional could draw that scene! XD Oh! Who got the winner right, ne? Anyone? (I did... LOL! XD)