-Nax-

I'm still residually dizzy from the aftereffects of my dream, but I can walk at least well enough to follow Pyra and Emi as they lead the way back to our room, Liseth taking up the rear behind me.

Now that my motor functions are beginning to return, the guilt is starting to eat away at my heart, creating an uncomfortable nausea seated deep in my gut; an anxiety that I can't seem to drive away.

I shouldn't have taken advantage of Saïx like that. I knew how he would respond if I came to him for comfort, and it wasn't fair of me to use him just because I needed someone to make me feel better. Now I'm going to have to face the consequences of my actions, on both his side of the equation and mine. I'm going to have to explain to him how I betrayed his trust this time, and my feelings toward him are still twisted and entwined with confusion and pain.

And despite the remaining uncertainty about my feelings… I can't shake the memory of how it feels for him to hold me close like that. It sends shivers through me every time I remember his arms around me, and his warm voice telling me it will be all right. Despite everything, I believed him. He wouldn't let anything hurt me.

Isn't that what you want?

I sigh as the mental voice starts to nag at me, irritating persistence making it whiny and obnoxious. It doesn't really have an identity anymore; it's just a voice inside my mind that bothers me whenever I have a conflict. Because what I needed was more confusion.

Okay, yes, it is what I want, and I'll admit that. But he still betrayed me. He wouldn't let anything else hurt me, but when it comes to himself…

I wince. Even I have to admit that it's a stupid and dangerously shallow argument.

You always were too incredibly proficient at holding grudges, Zanna.

I can't argue with that; my mental voice and my memories are too strong to argue with. Besides, I know it's true. I can hold a grudge for months at a time, and often did, back in my House. It irritated my guardians, parents, and friends to no end, how long I could stay mad about something.

"Nax?"

Pyra's voice breaks me out of my conflicted reverie, my head snapping up to look at her. The others have stopped moving, standing in front of a door; a door that I recognize. It's our door; mine, Pyra's, Emi's, and…

I refuse to allow myself to even think her name. She, at least, is someone I have a concrete reason for hating.

"You okay?" Pyra asks, looking slightly worried. "That dream's not still bothering you, right?"

I inhale slightly, shaking my head, though it's not an altogether truthful answer. If I don't think about the dream, it doesn't bother me, but every time I remember the fiery air pressing in on me, flooding through my lungs and drowning me in heat, my heartbeat begins to speed up again, as if it's still a struggle to breathe.

"Come on, let's do this quick," Emi urges, reaching for the door handle and twisting it in one smooth motion. The door swings open silently, and the four of us enter the room.

It's almost a shock, how unchanged the room is. Everything is as we left it on that night over two months ago, when we first set out to rescue Saïx. The bedspreads are still slightly mussed, and Emi's blue pillow is still sitting on Pyra's red duvet, out of place and mismatched.

"The closets are here, here, here, and here," Emi says to Liseth, pointing around at our wardrobes. "You can use Mika's closet; she was about your size."

I wince slightly at the sound of Mika's name, but ignore the pain, going over to my closet and sliding the door open slowly. Everything is exactly as it was, with the minor difference of the slight layer of dust that's settled across the surface of all the clothes.

I pull out a pair of clean white leggings and a dark blue tunic, sprinkled with shimmers like the night sky. The long, billowing sleeves aren't very practical for returning to the forest, but Axel told us to 'dress to impress.'

Quickly, I pull off the tunic and leggings that I've been wearing for two months now, throwing them onto my bed. Both items are faded, beaten, and ripped, smudged with dirt and blood in some places. The leggings are oddly top-heavy when I toss them away from me, as if something is stuck into one of the pockets. It takes me a few seconds, but I remember the silver moon clip that I stowed in the inner pocket of my leggings, away from the Assassins.

I pull the new clothes on, brushing the dust off of them as I do so. Beneath the slight film, they are clean, and they smell like the inside of my closet, all wood and lavender-scented. The feeling of clean clothes is odd after so long without changing.

Picking up my old, ripped leggings, I dig around in the inner pocket, my fingers quickly closing over the moon clip. I pull it out, and then pick up my brush from the vanity table, dragging it through my hair. My eyes smart as it pulls out the tangles and snarls that have developed over two months, but eventually, the brush runs smoothly, and I set it down, securing my grown bangs away from my face and behind my ear with the silver clip.

With that done, I dig around in the bottom of the closet until I find the knapsack that came with me when I moved from House Aotora to Maison Etoile, pulling it out and stuffing my old, ratty clothes into it, as well as a few more random tunics and pairs of leggings. I make sure not to grab anything fancy; only practical clothes will do for roughing it in the woods. After a few seconds' thought, I grab a pair of shoes, too, although I don't know how much use I'll get out of them. I'm already accustomed to traveling barefoot.

Finally satisfied, I turn around to see how my friends and my sister are faring. Pyra and Emi have changed into outfits similar to mine, though both of them are wearing dark blue leggings and silvery-blue tunics. They've both also packed knapsacks, taking, apparently, the same initiative that I did, and now Emi is trying to help Liseth figure out Mika's clothes.

"Yes, the sleeves are supposed to be like that," Emi says, wearing a slight smile as Liseth stares at the tunic in confusion. "We don't do a lot of fighting, so we can get away with looser clothes. Come on, just try it!"

"But… where do I put my knife?" Liseth asks, looking concerned.

"You can put it in my knapsack," Emi says, not seeming fazed in the least that Liseth has a knife. "Just try it. Please?" She holds up the tunic again.

"Well… I guess," Liseth says reluctantly. She reaches inside her Assassin tunic and unstraps a knife from somewhere, handing it over to Emi, who stows it inside her knapsack. She then proceeds to pull off her tight black clothes, handing those over as well, and then to struggle into the Diviner clothes that used to belong to Mika. Emi helps her out once she manages to get her head into the shirt, and at last, Liseth stands before us, dressed in Mika's tunic and leggings. The clothes actually fit her much better than I expected, and I can't hold back a slightly wistful smile.

"You would make a good Diviner, Lisi," I say softly.

She looks up, slightly surprised, but gives me a quiet smile of her own. "Thanks." Without the effect of her training uniform, her face appears much softer and more open than usual.

"Oh, one last thing," Emi says. "Turn around."

Liseth obediently turns around, and Emi pulls the cord out of her hair, releasing it from its ponytail to fall in violet waves around her face.

"Now turn back," Emi instructs. Liseth does so, and Emi smiles in satisfaction. "Perfect. You're really pretty, Liseth; did you know that? Those clothes suit you."

My sister's face flushes faintly pink, but she returns Emi's smile, looking slightly pleased. "Thank you," she replies.

"I'm sure that'll impress Lea," Pyra says, grinning.

Liseth's face immediately goes from pink to red, her eyes shooting open wide. "I-I… um… I never—"

Pyra laughs, putting a hand on Liseth's shoulder. "You didn't have to. I kind of picked up on it when we were talking. My specialty is aura-reading, and, well… your face is good at hiding it, but it's written all over your aura."

Liseth looks down at the floor, trying to flop her bangs into her eyes to hide her embarrassment.

"It's okay," Pyra says, laughing again. "You impress him plenty without the clothes. He likes you, too; I can tell. And I don't even need to aura-read for that." She grins again. "My cousin's an open book."

Liseth glances up, slightly hopeful. "H-he… does?" she asks timidly. "But I make so many mistakes… and I'm not… beautiful." Her hand rises to her cheek, tracing absently against her scar. It reminds me of something Saïx does, unconsciously, and I feel another flame of hatred for whoever did that to her and took away her image of herself.

"Liseth, listen to me," I say, looking right at her. Pyra closes her mouth, watching me, and Liseth's eyes turn to me, too.

"I made mistakes my whole life, and I still make mistakes," I say, shaking my head. "I'm human, and I'm an initiate. I don't do everything right. And yet, there are still people who manage to love me, even though I'm flawed."

"But you aren't deformed," she mumbles bitterly.

"Neither are you," I say fiercely. "However you got that mark, it's not a deformity. It shows that you're brave enough to fight, endure, and keep on fighting. It's a mark of strength, Liseth. You're strong, and you're brave, and you're good, and that makes you beautiful. And if Axel's got a single ounce of brain beneath all that fire on his head, then he'll see that."

Liseth sniffles quietly, rubbing the sleeve of Mika's silvery tunic against her eyes, which are watery all of a sudden.

I kneel down and hug her gently, rocking her back and forth, like I used to do. It hurts me, somewhere vital and deep inside, to know that she thinks she's deformed. I can't bear the thought of my little sister hating herself. It's too cruel and unfair.

"Just keep being you, Lisi," I say quietly. "If he's smart, and I think he is, then he'll love you for who you are."

Pyra sets a hand on Liseth's shoulder gently, and Emi rests a hand on her hair with a quiet, affectionate smile. Somehow, though I don't know exactly how it's happened, Liseth has stepped in and filled the place in our circle of four that Mika left vacant, and my best friends have accepted her. It makes me happy, and even more eternally grateful that I have Pyra and Emi.

We spend a few quiet minutes like that, until Liseth has calmed down, and then Pyra glances at the door.

"We should go," she says, stepping back and helping Liseth up. "The boys are probably waiting for us."

It almost makes me laugh, how Axel and Saïx have just become 'the boys,' even though one is a Guildmaster and the other is a high-ranking Assassin. How quickly boundary lines fade among friends and allies.

"Let's go," Emi says, standing as well. I follow her lead, and the four of us exit the room together.

Surprisingly, Axel and Saïx are not in the foyer yet when we arrive; we lean against the far wall to wait for them, making small talk about nothing much in particular. The anxiety and guilt has begun to creep back in again, but I do my best to ignore them, focusing on our pointless conversation. It reminds me strongly of the night before we left for the Assassins' Compound.

Finally, though, we hear the click of footsteps on the floor, and we turn, our eyes sliding up to the top of the stairs, where two figures have appeared.

My mouth instantly drops open, and though I fight not to stare, it's very difficult. These past two months have drastically diminished the effect of Saïx's actual appearance, but now I feel like a first-day initiate again, just stepping into his rooms. The blue stubble is gone from his cheeks, which are clean-shaven and pale again. His long hair is tied into a ponytail which hangs over one shoulder, and he is dressed in the elaborate robe that he always wore for important Guild events. He looks just as intimidating and beautiful as he did the first time I met him.

Struggling to pull my eyes away, I glance over at Axel, one eyebrow rising. He's not wearing a robe, but he is dressed in one of Saïx's white tunics and a pair of brown leggings. I guess they're around the same size. The tunic has the same effect on Axel that it does on Saïx; though it's not overly tight or obnoxiously revealing, the fact that his chest is rather muscular cannot be denied.

Pyra elbows Liseth in the shoulder, grinning. "Lisi, you might want to close your mouth. A fly could land in it."

"You, too, Nax," Emi says, smirking at me.

I turn and give her a look, but I do close my mouth, swallowing slightly.

The two young men step off of the staircase and approach us; Axel tilts his head slightly, looking at Liseth. I can see the expression in his turquoise eyes, and I grin privately. He looks a little bit starstruck.

"If we're all done staring at each other, we should go," Pyra says, tugging on her cousin's sleeve with a smirk. Axel's face immediately flushes, and he thumps Pyra on the shoulder, sticking out his tongue.

"I agree," Saïx says; I'm eternally grateful that he actually can't see me staring at him. More confusion would just throw a wrench into this mess I've gone and created.

Slowly, we all turn and walk out the door, back onto the lawn and across it to the woods. The air is still swelteringly hot, but beneath the trees, it's at least better than it is in the sun.

The walk through the forest is less quiet this time; Pyra and Emi begin a quiet conversation with Liseth, and Axel and Saïx begin discussing more strategy measures for the future of the resistance. I remain silent, letting my guilt stir itself around in my stomach and listening to everyone else talk.

Suddenly, a warm sensation near my ear distracts me from the soft babble of speech around me. It feels a little bit like someone's focusing a weak beam of sunlight on my ear through a prism. I raise an eyebrow slightly, lifting a hand and putting it to my ear, but nothing appears to be wrong. The skin itself is warm, yes, but only from the heat of the air around me.

"Nax?" I turn my head to look at Pyra, who says my name quietly.

"Yes?" I ask, raising the other eyebrow.

"Are you okay?" she asks in concern. "Is the dream still…?"

"No," I reply, shaking my head. "I'm fine. I think it was a bug or something." That part is a lie, but I don't want to tell her that my ear feels warm. She'd laugh.

"Speaking of the dream," Saïx says, hearing Pyra's comment, apparently, "would you be all right describing it now, Naxanz? I believe it might have been a message for us."

"I think so," I say, nodding. I think back, though it doesn't take much thinking to recall the vivid elements of the dream.

"There was a road," I say, concentrating. "A blank road, made of grey cobblestones. It stretched on forever in both directions, with nothing around it. The sky was fiery red above me, and the road seemed to disappear into mist the further down it I looked. So I picked a direction… I think it was right… and I started walking. The longer I walked, the hotter the air around me got, like the sky was actually on fire. And my feet got tired really fast. I hadn't walked for ten minutes before I felt exhausted, but I kept going, because I knew whatever was at the end of the road was important. Finally I couldn't walk anymore, and I had to crawl, and the road burned my hands and knees; then I couldn't crawl anymore and I just flopped down and everything was burning and hot. And then," I say, pausing and thinking again, trying to remember exactly, "there was a voice that spoke to me, and it told me that everything I knew would be destroyed and burned to the ground, to ashes. But then there was a little cool spot on my cheek, and it told me to always trust the moon and follow what it said. And then I tried to scream because everything hurt, but it was like the heat was something liquid, and it went in my throat and into my lungs and drowned me."

"A blank road presents us with choices, or an uncertain path," Saïx says, his face calm and concentrating, like it always is when he's interpreting things.

"Can't you use those little things you picked up in your room?" Axel says, glancing at him. "Wouldn't that be better?"

"The Divination talismans I collected would give us a deeper interpretation, but we simply do not possess that kind of time right now," Saïx replies, shaking his head.

"True enough," Axel allows, falling silent and letting Saïx continue.

"You chose the right?" Saïx asks me.

"Yes," I reply, nodding, though I know he can't see it.

"The flaming sky represents a danger hanging over our heads, though I believe we are already aware of danger," he says wryly. "That you chose the right represents a subconscious tendency toward irrational solutions to problems."

I wince slightly at that, though I'm not sure what it has to do with our future. He is right.

"I believe your choice of direction may have affected what happened to you on your journey down that road," he continues quietly. "That is a message telling us that our choices, or, more specifically, your choices, will have an effect on the outcome of this conflict."

A cold spot churns in my gut, and the anxiety climbs to a slightly higher intensity. Just what I needed.

"The exhaustion could represent multiple things, but the oppressive heat, I believe, represents the trouble we will face," he goes on. "And the voice's message for you… well, I believe that was clear. Everything you know, meaning the old order, the way of life you are so used to, is being and will be destroyed."

"He—she—it… told me to trust the moon," I say, shaking my head. "Did it mean the literal moon, or…?"

"I am not certain," he replies, shaking his own head. "Something associated with the moon, perhaps, or perhaps the moon itself. We will find out when we return and I am able to use the talismans."

I nod. "Okay." At least there's a better interpretation forthcoming, even if we don't get it right now.

We reach the gate shortly after that, and Saïx begins to push it open, the iron creaking slightly as it swings.

The warm sensation at my ear suddenly escalates to burning heat; I gasp in pain, my hand shooting to my ear. I'd completely forgotten about it, but I can't ignore it now. My ear is searing with intense pain.

"Nax, that clip!" Emi exclaims. "Take it off!"

The moon clip…? What?

I am too slow to react, apparently, so Emi reaches up and yanks the clip, and several strands of my hair, off of my head. It falls to the ground, and I stare at it unbelievingly. The silver metal is glowing with a bright, intense light, and vibrating like there's an earthquake occurring beneath it.

"What the…?" I shake my head slowly, completely puzzled by what's going on. "Why is it doing that?"

At that moment, we are all distracted from the strange behavior of the clip by the immense explosion that resounds from outside the gate, making us all clap our hands to our ears immediately.

"What in Kingdom Hearts was that?!" Pyra yells.

Another explosion quickly follows the first, cutting off any chance of reply. Below us, on the ground, the clip has stopped glowing and vibrating and just lies there, once more a piece of shiny silver metal. Quickly, I bend down and scoop it into my pocket, rapidly covering my ears again as more explosions go off, one after the other.

"Everyone take cover!" Axel shouts. "Under the trees! Go!"

We don't hesitate; each and every one of us sprints for the trees, running as fast as we can and diving onto the ground, covering our heads with our arms. I find myself lying beneath a huge oak tree, my body resting slightly in a crevasse under its knobby lower trunk. I scoot myself closer to the tree, pressing my body against the wood tightly.

Suddenly, there is a shooting pain in my leg; a moment later, someone else falls beside me with a muffled thud. Glancing over, I see that it's Saïx; he must have tripped over my outstretched leg.

"Sorry!" I shout, over the sound of rumbling that accompanies the explosions. My voice is high-pitched from anxiety and fear.

He twists his head slightly at the sound of my voice, and I see one golden eye peeking out from beneath the blindfold before he squints it shut again, sliding closer to the tree. He gets almost shoulder-to-shoulder with me, but does not touch me, positioning himself between me and the rest of the woods, almost protectively. I feel another surge of guilt inside my heart, but I do not argue, putting my head down and covering it with my arms as explosions continue to sound in the distance.

I do not know how long it is between the beginning of the explosions and when they start to die away, but it feels like several eternities to me, lying there on the ground with my heart thumping in my chest and throat, trying to keep my breathing normal. The sounds of the explosions consume everything, so that my hearing is filled with my racing pulse and the thunderous roar of whatever is being blown up. I just keep my head down and try to focus on inhaling the scent of grass and leaves.

Finally, the pulsing noise starts to fade, and I dare to raise my head and look around cautiously. The world seems eerily silent now that the explosions are gone, the calm ringing with the residual tone of the blasts. Everything is exactly as it was before the event, the trees standing serenely in the sun-dappled wood, blots of sunlight and shadow meandering across the forest floor in lazy not-really-patterns.

I glance over at Saïx, who is also beginning to straighten up, pushing himself off of the grass and leaves and brushing the dirt from his robe. He looks slightly shaken, but not too badly incapacitated. His fingers quickly busy themselves re-tightening his blindfold, which came loose when he fell; expertly, he reties the knot at the back of his neck, securing the fabric firmly over his eyes. During all of this, I watch him silently, pushing myself up and leaning against the tree, feeling the tremors crawling through my body again.

At last, he turns to me, standing and offering a hand to pull me to my feet. I take it quietly, letting him pull me up and steady me.

"We need to find the others," he says, his voice somehow still calm, even after what just happened.

I nod, and then remember for the millionth time why I can't do that with him. "Yes," I say, my own voice a soft, anxious whisper.

"Just stay with me," he murmurs, squeezing my hand gently.

I feel another surge of guilt, but I don't argue or question him, merely following obediently as he starts to walk through the woods back toward the path and the gate, back the way we came.

Axel and Liseth are the first ones that we find, slowly straightening up from where they were hiding beneath another tree. Axel is brushing leaves off of his clothes, and Liseth is trying to rearrange the folds of Mika's old tunic where it's slipped off her shoulders and hangs askew. I tug on it gently, and she allows me to straighten it with a grateful smile.

"Where are Pyra and Emi?" she asks, when I step back from her.

"I don't know," I reply, swallowing the fear that comes with the sentence. "We haven't seen—"

"There you are!"

I exhale a huge sigh of relief as Pyra and Emi round another tree and come into sight of us, their dirt-smeared faces seeming to relax instantaneously. They jog over to us, wrapping Liseth and me in bone-jarring hugs. Pyra hugs Axel, too, exhaling shakily.

"Is everyone okay?" Axel asks, once his cousin has released him.

"I think so," Liseth replies.

"We're fine," Emi says.

"Yes," Saïx says, nodding.

I almost want to contradict him, but I hold my tongue; I'm not bodily injured, just severely shaken.

"What was that?" Pyra asks, shaking her head. "It sounded like something blew up."

"Several somethings," Axel says, nodding. "If I didn't know better, I would say it was bombs."

"Bombs?" Emi looks disturbed at that.

"I'm not saying that's what it was for sure," Axel says, holding up his hands, though, to me, he looks pretty convinced. "I'm just saying that it's a plausible explanation."

"Why didn't they hit here, then, if someone was dropping bombs?" Liseth asks.

"The Diviners' Quarter is magically shielded," Saïx explains to her. "No one can see it and no one can reach it unless they are admitted from the inside."

"Or use Corridors," Axel says. "But Assassins are the only ones who can use Corridors, and as far as I know, the only Assassins who have been in here are me, Thex, Zane, Riku and Umi."

"It's a good thing we were in here, then," Emi says quietly, shaking her head. "If we'd been out there…"

My stomach flips queasily as I realize what would have happened if the moon clip hadn't started acting strange when it did. We would all be smears on the street, killed by some explosion.

"Yeah, we're lucky," Liseth agrees, nodding, her own face pale. "My question, though, is who was dropping bombs?"

We're all silent at that, staring around at each other without speaking a word.

"The most logical explanation," Axel finally says, "is, I guess, that it'd be the Assassins. But… I don't get why they would bomb the rest of Radiant Garden. I thought their war was just with the Diviners."

"Their conflict may be with us," Saïx says quietly, "but I doubt that conquering the Diviners' Guild is where my sister's ambition meets its end."

"What do you mean?" Axel asks, looking at him hard.

"I mean that Iris's immediate aim is the downfall of my Guild, but that the downfall of the Diviners may be only the first rung in a ladder that she means to climb to the domination of Radiant Garden," Saïx answers, exhaling heavily.

We all stare at him for a moment, letting that message sink in. He seems to meet each one of our gazes in turn from beneath the blindfold; I can practically feel his veiled eyes boring into mine.

"So… she bombed the rest of the city… because…?" I can see Axel clicking each piece into place in his mind, his eyes slowly filling with realization of the truth.

"She may have bombed the rest of the city both to establish domination and to prevent our force from receiving any help from the other Guilds," Saïx says.

"But where did she get bombs?" Pyra asks, looking dumbfounded. "I mean… that was a lot of explosions."

Axel gives Pyra a look, bitter humor in his eyes. "You wouldn't believe the things you could find in the Assassins' Complex if you looked for long enough," he says frankly. "Their headquarters is stocked well enough to endure a siege and probably topple a city."

"We've got to get back out and warn the others, then." These are the first words I have spoken in quite a while, but everyone turns to look at me immediately when I speak, making me flush slightly. I don't back down, though, continuing. "If the Assassins really are trying to take control, we've got to get back to camp and warn them that we're probably not going to get help any time soon, and we've got to keep the team that was going to go 'liberate' food and supplies from going into the city, in case Iris decides to do anything else."

Axel nods immediately, turquoise eyes hardening with resolution. "You're right, Nax. We've got to warn them."

"Where are we going to get supplies now, then?" Pyra asks, looking slightly worried.

"We'll figure that out," Axel says, shaking his head. "Right now, we've got to keep anyone else from going into the city."

Nobody else raises an objection; satisfied, Axel steps back and summons a Corridor, the dark swirls roiling and flowing around his feet until they elongate into the shape of the door.

None of us even hesitate this time before we follow him through the portal and into the consuming shadow beyond.