Back from Venice, reacquainted with my laptop *the crowed goes wild!* and back to writing like lightening with no stupid 100 year old computers in the way. Speaking of 100, how amazingly amazing was that epi...guh! I'm still in shock! That's all I'm going to say tonight, I'm tie tie...

Side kick-Bia1007

Beta- Eggylaine

Weep little lion man

"Well look who's up," Mary smiled when she saw Dean come from his room for the first time in 2 days.

"Hey," Dean sort of whispered, greetings were still an awkward time when Sam wasn't around.

But speaking of the devil, he must have been listening in and waiting at the top of the stairs because the next thing he knew, Sam was hopping down the steps with a smile plastered on his face.

"Happy Easter Dean!"

"Uh...Happy Easter?" Dean replied with a frown.

"Yeah, it's Easter today, you never had Easter?"

"Um, no not really since I could remember," Dean mumbled, he sounded ashamed, not to mention confused and that broke Mary's heart.

"Well, this year you are, so here's your eggs honey, enjoy," she smiled, handing Dean a good 3 bags full of Easter boxes.

"What's this?" he frowned, more like he was puzzled than offended.

"Chocolate Easter eggs, tradition, there's a few from John's distant relatives that have been coming the last few days to visit or sent via post, a couple from me and John and the really big one is from Steve."

And damn, it was big!

"I-I still don't get it," Dean stuttered looking down at the bags in his hand like they were alien, which to him, they really were.

"Dean sweetie, in this family, it's just what we do, kids your age usually get money by now but…we thought chocolate eggs would be more up your street."

"But why? Why am I getting things from people I've never even met? Or that have never met me?"

"Because that's just how this family works, John and I talk a lot about you two so it was only fitting you both got Easter eggs."

"But I can't take these, they don't even know me, they've never even seen me! If they did then-"

Before Dean could say something horrible about himself Mary butted in. "Sweetheart, listen to me," she cupped his cheek and only then noticed how worked up Dean was by the shakes she found. "Just accept them, you know what? Sammy hasn't even met most of John's side since he was a baby and they still send gifts on birthdays and Christmas, so you're both technically in the same boat there."

"But-"

She knew he was going to protest about the ones from Steve and she and John next. "It's not wrong to take gifts and enjoy them, I promise you you're doing nothing wrong by accepting these."

"It is if I don't deserve them."

"Dean why on earth would you think you don't deserve them?"

"Because-, because I just-, I just-, I can't, I'm sorry but I can't," Dean dropped the bags then ran up the steps and to his room, he didn't even care how much it hurt when he sunk to the floor on the opposite side of his bed hidden from the door. "Please just leave me alone," he pleaded when he knew it was Sam knocking, he had mastered that kid's knocks and footsteps the first week he got there.

It went silent again and he sunk his head down to his chest, wanting the world to just go away and let him wallow in self pity, but at the same time wanting nothing more than for someone to run in and give him a strong hug he could latch onto, so he could prove his dumb ass self wrong and feel safe again. Now his uncle was gone, there just seemed to be nothing left for him here, nothing to drive for, nothing to move forward to, he was just in a dead end space in time with no directions to save him from the whirlwind of misery, he was just nobody. As sick as it sounded, when he was hated by his uncle…at least he had a purpose….now, he just didn't matter anymore.

"I thought you might want some company," a small voice said before he took a seat next to Dean on the floor placing 5 bags on the floor in front of him.

"Thanks Sammy," Dean whispered, as he let the tears fall, the same tears Sam shrugged at and quietly didn't acknowledge.

"For what?"

"Not giving up on me," he answered remembering what Steve said the other day, okay so maybe he wasn't consciously doing the angry jerk thing anymore…now apparently he was doing the 'self loath I don't deserve to live' pity party, which wasn't working any better…only trouble this time, it wasn't an act.

"No problem," Sam smiled, and somehow things didn't seem too bad right here right now.

Abut half an hour later of mostly silence and mumbled apologies Sam managed to coax Dean into accepting just one of the eggs his parents bought deciding one of those would be best at first, at least Dean couldn't say they didn't know him with one of those. They had worked out a deal that when Dean ate that one, if he was still hungry, he could eat another, after not eating much for the last 3 days he was probably starving.

Turns out, Sam was a much better and wiser briber than Dean had anticipated, Sam had assured Dean that Easter eggs were just food, and you can't be guilty for eating food can you? Not even his uncle was that evil, so Dean could eat as many chocolate eggs as he wised without feeling bad, it was just food, sure it was bad for you, especially when you just got admitted to hospital and been asleep and resting for 2 days nonstop but who cares? If anyone deserved chocolate for breakfast, lunch and dinner, it was Dean.

Dean even laughed when Sam told him some old tales about his Nan, turns out she never bought Easter eggs, she was convinced a huge bar of chocolate was cheaper than the fancy eggs, and you got more chocolate for your money, she was crushed to learn that the weight of the eggs was a lot more VS the big bar.

"My nana ended the argument saying my mom's weighing scales were wrong," Sam snorted, taking another bite of what was technically Dean's egg, oh well, he could give one of his to Dean later, he still hadn't eaten many of his own, it just felt wrong eating them without Dean.

"So she's where you get your stubborn ass streak from," Dean joked.

"Hey I'm not stubborn!"

"Oh believe me Sam, you are."

"Jerk!"

"Bitch."

They laughed a little, then noticing how much better Dean was when he talked about everything but himself, Sam carried on.

"My nan came the other day when you were asleep, she's so loud…how you slept through it, I got no clue, she yelled at my dad for putting his plate on the side and not in the sink, it's so funny, my nan has to be the only person that scares him, its hilarious."

"So that's what the weird noise was, I thought you bought a lion or something as a pet."

"I think a lion would be tamer."

'Okay I'm quickly running out of nonsense here!' Sam thought to himself when that bit of joking ended.

"So um….you got any more family….that knows about me?"

"Besides a few that live on the other side of the country, not really, don't have any cousins or anything like that so…they send birthday money in the post or a card but not really, I know them about as well as you do. My uncle Steve is about the closest outside family we have and he's not really my uncle…but he just is."

"He's cool, better than my real one…then again that doesn't take much."

"Yeah…sorry Dean."

"For what?"

"Don't know, just am."

"Yeah me too."

Sam nodded, then grinned internally when he noticed something, Dean had finished his first Easter egg without any objections, sure he had eaten some but not much, and Dean was now reaching for another one without a word, almost nonchalantly.

"If we hurl before dinner, I'm blaming you."

"Fine with me."

SPN

They ate chocolate until way past dinner, but neither John nor Mary seemed to mind them skipping the 3 main meals of the day as long as they were okay.

They played a little snap seeing as Dean still couldn't move about too much and go to his usual hang out place by the punching bag but both boys got bored of that quickly too so they ended up turning in early.

When it reached 2am Dean was bored out of his skull staring at the ceiling, he just couldn't seem to sleep, not that he didn't want to, he just couldn't. 3am passed quickly and that's when he realised the ache in his stomach. Almost 4am, Dean couldn't take it anymore.

'Ow ow ow ow ow!' his bruises screamed at him, he knew he should have stayed in bed!

It took some time but he finally got himself down the steps and towards the room he needed.

He sighed when he got to the kitchen, he didn't think it was that dark at this time in here, that was going to cause a problem considering he had no clue what cupboard his pills were in, so much for telling them he could take them by himself.

The bruises weren't so bad now on his face, they just looked gross, it was the one on his chest that really hurt, it was swollen and purple and hurt when he breathed in too deep, he had learned to pant in situations like this though, a long time ago.

He decided to let his eyes get used to darkness first so he got himself a glass from the sink side and poured some water ever so quietly, the water being on just enough to not cause much noise, he could barely hear it, it was going to take a few minutes to fill his glass but oh well.

He took a step sideways, and cursed when the floor whined loudly, he knew that dead spot was there…why did he walk on it?!

SPN

John heard someone creak the floor boards on the floor below and sat up fast.

"John? What are you doing?" Mary asked, she could sleep through a hurricane but when the sheets were moved…she woke up!

"Someone's downstairs," he whispered getting out of bed, stepping over every creaking spot in his bedroom, no need to alert the trespasser was there?

"John?" he asked.

"I got this one covered."

She sighed, but did as she was subtly told, uuh, men!

John tip toed down the hall and rushed town the steps, it was pitch black but he could still see, the person's shadow being the first thing he noticed, in Mary's posh silver tray no less.

"Hey!" he yelled grabbing the intruder's left wrist and twisting him so he was pushed up against the back door and held there by his throat.

The person was panting, panicking like he'd never heard before, but when he heard a familiar whimper, he cursed the day he was born.

"Dean?" he asked, loosening his hands when he felt the kid tremble under him.

He heard the clear sobs the boy was trying to keep in and wanted to cry himself. He knew if he let go right now, Dean could push him off, he was strong enough that's for sure, he would most likely run for the door and when that didn't work he would take off for his bedroom, terrified and they would be back to square one.

"Dean," he sighed moving his right hand to the back of Dean's neck and letting go of the kid's wrist before pulling him to his chest and holding him tightly as he rubbed circles on his back before he could run anywhere. There was some wriggling and a few cries of fear but eventually Dean ended up sinking onto John so much he had to hold the boy up. "I'm sorry kiddo, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, I thought you were somebody else, I'm so sorry."

He rocked Dean from side to side almost, until some of the shaking subsided.

"You okay kiddo?"

"S-s-so-rr-y," Dean practically choked as he finally pulled away.

"No, don't you dare say you're sorry, don't you dare Dean. Ah God…I'm so sorry buddy, I didn't mean to scare the crap outa you, I thought you were a burglar or something," he tried to joke with a forced chuckle but it wasn't working for either of them.

John let go of Dean completely and let the kid back up, he knew right then he had mucked up big time so he turned the light on and walked to the two tins on the windowsill, he emptied the one that had his name on and put both change and notes into Dean's, there wasn't much in either but it was the thought that counted.

When he looked back at Dean in the lights that now lit the room, he bit his lip when he saw tears Dean was trying to hide, or maybe it was just too bright in here now…no, probably not.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked taking a seat at the kitchen table, thankful when Dean sat down too at the opposite end.

Dean nodded and kept his head low.

"Talk to me? What were you looking for?" John tried to ask casually.

"Um…nothing, thirsty," he mumbled guiding his eyes towards the glass on the side.

John leaned over and grabbed the glass then placed it in front of the kid, crushed almost when Dean didn't move to have a drink, then something dawned on him, the way Dean was holding himself, the sounds of his breathing, the lines on his face.

"You looking for those pills the hospital gave you?" he asked already knowing the answer as he stood and got them from the very top cupboard. He tipped two out into his hand and placed them in front of Dean next to the glass of water and suppressed a sigh when Dean turned a shade of red, and it wasn't the good kind. "Dean, kid?" he asked taking his seat one again.

Dean looked up and the hurting in his eyes was heartbreaking.

"You don't have to be ashamed of being in pain and wanting something to help you," John wasn't just talking about the pills.

Dean nodded and pushed the pills between his tight lips then washed them down with water before going still again.

"Come on, let's get outa here," John said out of the blue standing from his seat.

"N-no…um…I'll just…go back to bed."

"Are you actually going to go back to sleep or are you gonna be staring at the ceiling for the next 5 hours?"

Both of them already knew the answer.

"Come on, let's go for a drive, I'll be right back."

John patted Dean on the shoulder then left to go back to his room for a second, he told Mary what was going on then pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweat shirt.

"Be careful," Mary said before she got a kiss then laid back down to go back to sleep, John had Dean covered, she was sure of it.

"Night babe," John whispered before leaving the room so his wife could sleep, he hummed then picked up Dean's jacket from the top of the stairs. "Here, don't want Mary killing me for letting you catch a cold," he said to Dean as he handed him his jacket.

Dean frowned, shook his head and placed it back on the banister rail, John didn't have a jacket on.

"Please?" he pleaded trying to use the puppy eyes he once had. It must have worked because Dean huffed then took the jacket back. John was the one to make him put it over his shoulders but still.

"Where are we going?" Dean asked cringing when he sounded like a little kid as he made his way to the passenger seat, only getting in when John got in the driver's side.

"Wanna get some ice cream?" John suggested as he started up the engine.

"It's 4am," Dean frowned.

"Yeah so? There's the 24/7 open, might be gross but it's ice cream."

Dean nodded, it sounded okay he guessed.

SPN

"How come we're here?" Dean asked as he finished licking his ice cream John had got him.

"What do you mean?" John asked wiping his fingers from the sticky ice cream with a tissue.

Dean shrugged, he looked a little nervous.

"Come on, ask away," John pushed.

"Who goes for a drive and ice cream at 4 in the morning?"

"Well, Sammy as you know has trouble with nightmares and when he was little, going for a drive and ice cream at ridiculous times in the night used to be the only way to get him back to sleep."

"Oh…well…thanks."

"For?"

"I dunno…trying to see if it would work on me or something."

"So this isn't working on you?" 'Worth a try right?'

"Not really tired anymore I guess…and you said Sammy could sleep anywhere, I can't."

"Suppose, so, speaking of, what do you think you and Sammy are gonna get up to this Easter break?"

Dean shrugged as John took the wrapper from him and handed him a tissue which he wiped his hands on, it wasn't working though, the tissue just sort of stuck to his fingers.

John pulled away from the 24 hour store and looked over at Dean as he kept his other eye on the road. "I know half of the holiday is over but there's still a week left, if you're up for it, we can go watch a ball game or something."

"Uh…okay, I mean...where ever you or Sam wants to go it's fine, I don't mind."

"Well we chose last time we went out, how about this time you choose?"

Dean merely shrugged again.

"Sorry," he whispered when he saw the expression John got on his face.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't be kiddo, you don't have to be okay?"

Dean nodded, but John was kind of disappointed to see it was just one of those agreeing nods, not an actual 'yes I know' nod like he wanted.

"So, what's on your mind kiddo, anything you wanna tell me?"

After what felt like forever, Dean finally parted his lips again to speak.

"Once a month," Dean mumbled.

"What?" John asked.

"You've been wondering how often my uncle used to beat me to the ground, well it was only once a month at most."

"Dean-"

"He only did it if he was really drunk. About once a month he used to just get really mad randomly and leave for a few hours, when he got back he stunk of a bar, he used to…he'd yell at first, no matter what I tried to do or say he always used to beat me until I cried or begged him to stop so I just learned to stop talking until he wanted me to beg." John guessed that's why Dean didn't or doesn't talk much to adults. "But I only ended up in the hospital twice, once for a broken wrist and another time because one of my marks got infected and I got sick…he took me there and waited for me and everything."

"Dean you don't have to defend him, he was wrong to do those things to you whether he did it once a month or once a year, no matter how long he waited in a hospital for you, he was wrong."

"But he waited for me for 4 hours, he could have taken off but he didn't."

John chose that moment to pull over and cut Dean off."Dean, I want you to look at me, and listen to me," he said carefully turning to face the boy who had tears in his eyes. "Your uncle was a sick and twisted man, he shouldn't have done those things, nobody should do the things he did to you, nobody. He was wrong, I don't care what you think you did to deserve it but I'm telling you that none of this was your fault. You're a good kid Dean, you're a really good kid, I'm sorry if you think I'm over stepping here but I'm pretty sure your parents wouldn't have wanted that for you."

"You never even knew them!"

"No but I am a parent, I know that if something happened to myself and Mary I wouldn't want anyone to hurt Sammy, I know you wouldn't either."

Dean nodded, he could kind of understand that metaphor.

"Dean, you can talk to me you know..."

Dean nodded once more, he didn't meet John's eyes, but he prepared himself to speak once again, he wasn't sure why he was telling John this but he just couldn't keep it in any longer, it was eating him alive, his uncle's memories were ready to swallow him whole.

"W-when we left…the h-hospital he said he only waited because he needed to teach me how to be man and suck it up next time, and he needed someone for bait…he said that was the only thing I was worth…after that it started to take less time at the bar for him to be that angry…he wasn't as drunk…it started to get twice a month…the last time when he picked me up from your house…he didn't even drink at all…I-I thought I was gonna die.

John placed a hand on Dean's shoulder but quickly took it away when the boy flinched.

"I thought he realised that when I was gone for those 2 weeks that he didn't need me as bait after all and he could just get rid of me…he wanted to kill me, what did I do to make him hate me so much? I got no clue…I tried to say sorry but he just….he wouldn't stop…he wouldn't tell me how to make things better….he just kept kicking me and calling me names and I just don't know what to do anymore I'm sorry but I just don't know what to do now he's gone and he can't tell me how to make it right…"

John couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't just sit there and watch Dean rip himself to shreds. He opened his car door and ran round to the passenger side where he pulled Dean's handle. He didn't wait to see if it was okay by Dean, he just twisted the kid around and pulled his head to his shoulder where he let him sob, his neck getting soaked in tears.

"Ssshhh ssshhh, it's okay, it's okay. I know, I know Dean, it's gonna be okay, we're never gonna hurt you okay? Nobody is ever going to hurt you like that again or so help me god I'll tear them a new one. I got your back Dean, we all do, you're never going to be put through that again for as long as I'm living. Sshh sshh it's okay."

Luckily it was still about half 4 in the morning so there wasn't many cars on the road which meant they could stay there for another hour at least.

Dean had finally stopped sobbing a good 10 minutes later but he had yet to move from his uncomfortable position hanging half way out of the car buried in John's neck, so he was the first to break contact and pull from the shaking boy.

"Look at me," and Dean did as John wiped the traces of tears still left behind, "I don't know why your uncle thought he had the right to hate you but he didn't. You don't have to apologize for anything Dean, bad things just happen okay? It sucks but that's just how it is, you don't have to be sorry for going through bad things though, you don't Dean. This is gonna be hard I know but we're all here for you, we all care about you."

Dean ran a hand under his dripping nose as he sat back straight and re-adjusted the jacket on his shoulders.

"And one more thing, we are never, and I mean never going to hurt you in that way, not me, not Mary not anybody."

Dean again nodded, and hoped that was true.

"If they do, come tell me and I'll hold them down while you get a few good punches in, what do you say?"

"Okay," Dean snorted, his mouth curling up until it finally reached his eyes.

"Now come on let's head back home, there's a film on I really need to see."

"What is it?"

"One with John Wayne."

Dean chuckled.

"Unfortunately, they only ever show the classics at 5 in the morning."

"Okay…I'm in."

John nodded, ruffled the kid's hair a little then closed Dean's door and went back round to his side where he sat and started the engine up again and pulled away from the side of the road.

They were a few minutes from home and John looked over, Dean was sleeping like a baby.

'Works every time.'

TBC…

Uh, I loved going for rides at night time and falling asleep, now I'm pretty sure I'm too fat to be carried from my sleeping place in the car to my bed haha! Now I'm off to watch Friends, it's the one where Mon and Chan get married :D love that epi! *yawn...* nighty night........