So..um..for October I have no excuse, but in November I was busy as hell. Honestly! I was working on running crew as the prop master for the school's fall musical, necessitating my presence at every rehearsal and at school on the weekends. A normal (and frequent) occurrence was that I would get home at 11:30 pm, and I would fall into bed in preparation for waking up 7 hours later. I had. No. Time. I couldn't work on the new chapter. All my frees at school were taken up by homework. So, I'm sorry, but that first year or so where I would update like every week is in the past.

WARNING: author's notes and review replies here on out will be sprinkled liberally with Brisingr references. Continue at own risk.

Miorochi: because she's just cool like that, does it really matter?

Emma loves Kevin Jonas: I hate, in my deepest heart of hearts, HATE the fact that Brom is Eragon's father. it was completely unnecessary.

sock monkeys: Welcome to the Internet.

lirica: thanks!

Draye: yes…yay sporks…?

Chiglet663: thanks, I will!

DragonRider2000: 8 hours, dude. Try 8 hours.

Apollamarine: Oh god, I hate the 'are you human' thing.

Adriannrod Svit-Kona Sama: Me too, and sorry, you not rid of me yet. (Can't he just stop the magic before the sword lights up?)

EmoDragonstar: tsk tsk, why are you reading during school? Shame on you!...and me too, I guess.

Thin Air: Thanks, and it depends what form the cheese is in.

cooks: everyone wishes every author would update faster. But…but I like Murtagh…sniff…I did like Brisingr. I went into it with an open mind and came out satisfied.

SANDRAsandySAND: oh, if you're rushing us you're not the only one. It's quite alright.

aaa: I can totally do an LOTR reference-chapter, but it won't be for a while because I just did a POTC chapter.

Demoness Drakon: eh, his death didn't hit me that hard.

Chapter Thirty-Six: A Not-So-Subtle Shoutout

"Holy CRAP!" yelled Saturnina suddenly.

"What's up?" asked Hilaria.

"Yes, Saturnina, what IS up?" inquired Arya coldly.

"Oh, uh, sorry. You guys can keep talking." She waved a hand at the elves, who were in the middle of listening to Arya explain why their group was suddenly at the edge of Du Weldenvarden. Saturnina turned back to Thorn and Hilaria. "But seriously, guys! We missed Brisingr!"

Thorn facepalmed. "Shit, you're right!"

"Ugh, does this mean that after the Burning Plains we won't have any clue what's going on?" shrieked Hilaria, once again causing Arya to glare in their direction. Hilaria rolled her eyes. "Look, I get it, you're negotiating, but we're trying to solve a crisis here!"

"Yeah, unless a copy of the book drops out of nowhere, we're screwed," said Saturnina glumly.

"Well, are we?" asked Thorn. "I mean, it's not like we've been using our knowledge to do anything special, really."

"Pretty much the only reason we're still alive in frikkin medieval dystopia is because we know everything that's going to happen," Hilaria reminded her. "You think modern, technology-obsessed Earthlings would survive here otherwise?"

"We're not all technology-obsessed, just me," said Saturnina as Arya and the elves led the rest of the group into the forest. "And I think I've gone through withdrawal by now."

"That or you just need coffee," muttered Hilaria.

"Well…will a copy of the book drop out of nowhere?" asked Thorn. "I mean, you have to admit it, this whole adventure has been pretty random. I mean what were the odds of all three of us showing up around the same time?"

"I can explain that," said Arya icily, as if she didn't even want to be talking to the girls. She probably didn't.

"You…you can?" asked Saturnina slowly. "Which is going to prompt my next question, why can you?"

"That's actually kind of freaky, so please hurry up and explain," said Thorn nervously.

Arya glared at them. "I would have already finished had you not interrupted me. Around the same time you are reported to have appeared in Alagaesia, the Varden's spies in Uru'baen reported a major magical working taking place. Galbatorix lost control, and we assume the backlash brought you here."

"Oh wow," said Hilaria. "I wonder if Galbatorix knows that he's responsible?"

"That's sort of freaky, really," said Saturnina. "I mean, I didn't think there was an actual reason!"

"I don't think anyone did. It's not like the Varden told people about it," added Thorn. "I mean, until now."

"If you're quite finished," interrupted Arya frostily. "It is generally considered impolite to ignore somebody who is standing next to you."

"Oh yeah, because all elves ever think about is manners. Sorry, Arya. Yes, we're finished," said Hilaria.

For a few minutes there was silence as the group rode further into the woods (Into the Woods is a wonderful musical by the way, and it's also the one that I was working on).

"So if this were a fanfiction…" began Hilaria.

"Oh god, NO," said Saturnina. "You are NOT writing this if we ever get back home!"

"That is…totally not what I meant," elaborated Hilaria. "I mean, does this qualify as crack?"

"You know, I've been wondering that too!" said Thorn. "I mean, we came here randomly—"

"—But it turns out there was a reason for that—" interrupted Saturnina.

"—We do all this crazy stuff—"

"—But we've never bent the laws of the universe—"

"—And we say the crackiest things—"

"—But we're bored teenagers, you can't blame us—"

"—Look, Saturnina, why are you so adamant about this?" asked a thoroughly exasperated Thorn.

"Because on a general basis I don't like crackfics!" insisted Saturnina.

"Well it doesn't matter anyway," interrupted Hilaria loudly, "because this is not a fanfiction, nor will it ever be one!"

Silence.

"Are we Mary-Sues, then?" wondered Thorn aloud.

"Oh god, do NOT start this again!" groaned Hilaria.

"You know, I really don't think we are," commented Saturnina. "I mean, we're not devastatingly beautiful, we're not perfect, and not by any stretch of the imagination do all the characters love us."

"Oh god, no," laughed Thorn.

"What do you mean, not beautiful?" gasped Hilaria, pretending to be deeply affronted. Saturnina cracked up laughing and whacked her on the head.

"No seriously guys," begged Hilaria, "can we PLEASE stop talking like this is a fanfiction? It's not!"

"Um…" asked Eragon. "What's fanfiction?"

The girls exchanged a horrified glance. "It's…um…" Thorn scrambled for an excuse. "Fictional fans. Yup, that's it. Stories about people who use make-believe lace fans."

"I'm sure," muttered Orik darkly. "No wonder you lasses seem so strange if that is all you read."

"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is definitely not right for you." –Anonymous

I don't care if this chapter wasn't funny. It was personally gratifying. Also I'm sick of people telling me that Bothering Alagaesia is a crackfic.