So...Thanks to everyone that's waited. I have a really (crappy) short story called The Act of Killing. (I don't know what inspired it. It's really crappy)..but go heck it out...maybe.
This is a special chapter for all you guys. It's a bit of a background chapter on Tessa's life with the Owner and how Jem became a Disloyal. Enjoy. :) Jem's perspective.
Our Sins are our Saviour Part 1
~~2028~~
Another lock of hair falls to the ground, scattering at her feet as I work the scissors in her hair, layering it, shortening it until it reaches just past her shoulders and she's looking dejectedly at the hair that's curled around the cold wood she's standing on. Silently, she retrieves a dress from her wardrobe- one of her strict uniform frocks- and pulls it over her slip before moving the hair that still covers the back of her neck and a small portion of her back to let me button up the rest. Finally, grabbing the customary ribbon, though I think of it more as a collar, I bow it at her neck and let her look at herself in the mirror.
"Ugly, isn't it?" She says, looking at herself in the mirror.
I don't know what she's talking about specifically, so I just put my hand on her shoulder. "It looks fine. You look fine, Theresa."
"Tessa."
"...I forgot." I say, blinking and pulling my hand away. She catches it, though, and smiles forcefully.
"You've always been the kindest." She says and I wish she were saying the truth. I'm not nearly as good as she thinks I am; then again, she's always been too nice to say anything otherwise. I really try, though, to be better.
I try to be patient.
I try to be kind.
I try to be respectful.
I try to tolerate.
I try to do everything I can to make our lives something more than a living hell and unfair pit that it feels like.
But everything, everyone...has a dark side.
"Theresa?"
She breaks out of her daydream, turning to me with an innocent and blank look, her fingers knotting nervously in her dress. "Yes? What is it?" She asks and suddenly, I regret saying anything. Even though we're both of the same status, it almost seems rude to tell her about some awful plan I have. Instead, I just smile and turn away to hide my embarrassment and tidy close her wardrobe doors.
"It's almost your birthday."
"I know."
"You'll be fifteen." I say, glancing up. "That's an important age."
"...No. Sixteen is more so." Tilting her head to the side, she smiles cheekily.
"Well, fifteen is important too." I protest, returning her smile carefully. She's so young, though she's only a year younger than I, and I want to tell her of my plans...but I'm scared that she'll get mad. I'm worried that she'll laugh and say it'll never be possible. I know that she'd never be that mean but...It's still a real and evident possibility. I just don't want her to think that I'm reckless. I just want...
Power.
I shake my head absentmindedly and I'm glad when she doesn't notice, turning away to go through the door. "James...I have to go to my lessons." She says and I know it's my cue to go with her; I have to. After all, I'm her assigned escort. I don't mind it, though. She's kinder than my last and I'm used to this job. I've been taking care of the Owner's girls since I was nine.
But she's the only one I've really been friends with.
Then again, I only had two Commoner girls to deal with in the past. I can't blame them for being bitter. Our living quarters are slats of wood with mattresses and our schedules are strict, consisting of things to prepare for meeting their One.
5:00 am: Dressing
5:30 am: Breakfast
6:30 am: Cleaning
7:30 am: Lessons of modesty
9:00 am: Lessons on politics
9:30 am: Lessons of respect towards your future One
10:30 am: Chores
12:00 pm: Lunch
1:00 pm: Studying
3:00 pm: Practice of virtues
4:00 pm: Preparation of dinner
5:30 pm: Dinner
6:30 pm: Free time
7:00 pm: Preparation for bed
8:00 pm: Room check
9:00 pm: Locked bedrooms
Of course, my schedule is slightly different than the Commoner girls who go about their day. My job is to follow Tessa about her day and help her with her lessons and train her to be obedient.
Train...
I feel like we're taken for pets.
For dogs.
It isn't that life is hard...It's not like it's unusual to be beaten when you speak up but...
There must be something better out in the world.
When Tessa's free time finally does come, I am by her side. Of course. And Sophie is chattering away in the corner with Cecily and Jessamine is with her escort talking about the Ones she hopes to get. I think I hear Nathanial Gray in the list of names but I glance over at Tessa and she doesn't seem to have heard. When she finally does look over at me, she sighs, leaning her head on my shoulder.
"James?"
"Theresa."
"I was thinking-"
"Now that's dangerous." I say jokingly, though we all know the unspoken phrase through the city. It is dangerous to discover.
"Look...I wanted to talk about the Ceremony."
I look up, wary. "What about it?"
"I...I don't want to get put with a One. I really don't..." Her teeth sink into her lip and she looks up at the light, blinking and looking slightly frustrated with herself. "I want to-"
"Run away." I finish her sentence. "I've been think about that too. In fact, Sophie's already agreed to help if I manage to find a day where M isn't having guards patrol.
Tessa gasps. "But we couldn't...I mean, I've contemplated it, but not seriously. You know what could happen if you go through with it."
"I know, I know...But isn't it worth getting in trouble?" I say persistently. I pause before sighing, looking away. "Then again...You're right. You could have a much better life with your One. You'll be rich, you'll be in a better life. I mean, the Ceremony can't be all that bad. I don't want you to leave but sometimes, sacrifices need to be made. I don't want to pressure you into anything either."
She takes my hands, blinking. "Oh, but you're not pressuring me. You've always been such a good friend. If you are going to try to escape, then I will too."
I look up in disbelief. "Really?"
"Really."
And then I can feel something strange.
Hope.
~~oo~~
Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...So...
Part two coming sometime...