Chapter Thirty-Eight

May 2007

"Well, here's to us!" Vinnie said proudly.

A large cluster of glasses crashed together in a toast to him and Leah moving in together.

"Straight people do it the other way around," Watson tease, nudging Charlie. "They start dating and then they move in together."

Charlie sighed and shook her head.

"I thought the ribbing would end when Joey and I got together and yet it continues!" she said with mock exasperation.

"Hey, I've been poking fun at you for as long as I've known you," Watson protested. "It's part of our loving, wonderful relationship. It'd be abnormal if I didn't tease you."

"Uh huh," Charlie replied, remaining unconvinced.

Watson's grin was the same cheeky one she had always given her. She slung her arm around her friend's shoulders.

"Oh, you know I love you, Charlie."

"Not too much I hope," said a voice behind them.

Turning, they saw Joey trying to look stern but she immediately started laughing. Charlie welcomed her into her arms and kissed the top of her head. It felt good to be out tonight, although there were only very brief moments where she could stop thinking about her mother. Her father was at home with her tonight. It felt weird not to devote a night to Elsie. She and Joey spent every single afternoon and night with her normally. Going out and having fun with their friends was almost surreal.

"You know you're the only one," Charlie whispered, nuzzling into Joey's hair.

She breathed her in and suddenly felt very tempted just to take her home and have their own private party instead of hanging out with their friends.

"Well, you guys did make out that time," Joey teased, raising her eyebrows.

"She's pretty talented at that, hey?" Watson teased.

Charlie clung a little tighter to Joey who appeared completely unfazed.

"Yeah she's awesome. I am the luckiest person on the planet!"

She tilted her head and kissed Charlie passionately to emphasise her point. Shaking her head, amused, Watson wandered away to find Carol.

"Hey, um... Belle?" Aden said nervously.

Belle turned to him curiously. She spotted the way he was playing with his hands which meant that he was struggling with nerves and was liable to panic at any moment. Carefully, she laid her hands on top of his to stop him. He looked up at her, deep in into her eyes.

"I was just thinking," he ventured.

"What were you thinking, Aden?"

"Well, now that I'm earning and older and everything, there's no need for me to keep staying at home. Tony and Beth have been great and everything and I've always been so grateful to them but Lucas is heading off to Uni soon and Jack and Martha are moving into their own place and getting married and everything and well, I know you're not that happy in your place with your noisy housemates and stuff. And well... I was just wondering if..."

He tried to wring his hands together but she stopped him. He loved the way she knew him so well.

"Are you asking if I'd like us to move in together?" Belle asked.

He looked elated that she'd been forward enough to say the words that he couldn't.

"Would you like to?"

"I would love to."

She confirmed it with a kiss.

"Joey!" Martha said, tugging on her friend's arm.

Joey turned round to find Martha and Jack grinning at her. She eyed them curiously.

"We'd like you to do a reading at the wedding," Jack said. "Maybe a poem or something. We'll find it. Or, or you could find it if you wanted. But we'd like you to be part of the service in some way. If you'd like to. Would you like to?"

"I'd love to!" Joey beamed. "Thanks, guys!"

She reached out to hug them in turn.

"Oh look, everyone's having a party!" said a slurred voice.

Pulling away from her friends, Joey looked up in recognition. Her brother approached her, wobbling a little.

"Cheating on your lesbian with a girl and a boy, are we?" Brett asked.

Joey sighed.

"Just leave me alone, Brett," she pleaded, aware that people were beginning to look.

"We can't avoid each other forever. We need to sort the business out."

"Not tonight, we don't."

"Why did you have to fuck everything up, Jo?"

"I didn't fuck anything up, Brett. You're the intolerant one."

"How am I supposed to tolerate what you do?"

"Everyone else does."

Charlie approached, settling herself behind Joey, silently offering her support.

"Ah, the cavalry's here," Brett declared.

"Why don't you just leave?" Charlie suggested. "We're trying to have a nice evening."

"She was recovering until you stepped in," Brett accused.

"Recovering?" Joey burst out. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You'd stopped doing whatever the hell it is you do with girls and then you and her hooked up..."

"I only stopped because I was so desperately in love with Charlie that I was trying to find a way to tell her," Joey said. "And I've been in love with her for as long as I can remember."

"That's bull," Brett insisted.

"It's the truth. Now get out of my face."

Glaring at both of them, Brett turned on his heel and stormed out of the bar.

Ross lay atop the blanket next to his wife who was snuggled beneath it. They had spent the evening reminiscing about their life together and now they were sharing a rare moment of closeness.

"Ross..." she ventured carefully.

"You're going to talk to me about Charlie and Joey, aren't you?"

She turned, somewhat painfully to look into his face, surprised to find that he was crying. She reached out to hold his hand.

"I'm sorry I reacted the way I did," he said. "I just didn't know what to do. She's my little girl and I... I don't want her to struggle in life."

"She won't struggle if people are willing to accept her," Elsie pointed out.

"But will they?"

"She and Joey have only had two bad reactions and one of them was from you."

"I didn't mean to react badly. It just confused me so much. I mean, I know they've always been close but... but Charlie's always had boyfriends. There was Brett and then... then that awful Roman man and then Angelo and then..."

"And then nobody. There was always Joey. She's always loved Joey. She's always wanted to be with her. It's only now that she's willing to admit it," Elsie explained.

"So, my daughter's gay then?" Ross asked.

"Yes, she is."

"Does Ruby know?"

"She does."

"And how does she feel about it?"

"She's absolutely fine."

Ross shook his head.

"Ross, soon you're going to be the only parental figure left in this house. Ruby's still so young and she's going to need her Daddy. And Charlie, well, I know she's older but she's going to need you too. She's always needed you, Ross. She might pretend that she doesn't but she does. And especially right now, she needs you to tell her that you accept her for who she is."

Ross sighed, clutching Elsie's hand as tightly as he thought she could take.

"You must have noticed the difference in her over the last month. Since she accepted herself and her feelings, since she and Joey finally told each other the truth, they've come alive. Haven't you noticed that at all?"

She watched his mouth twitched as he struggled to admit the truth. Finally, he began to study their joined hands.

"She is happier than she's ever been," he said. "Even when she was with that Roman guy, it wasn't like this. Even when she's around me she can't stop glowing."

"She feels loved and settled and happy," Elsie confirmed. "She loves Joey and she's loved completely in return. Isn't that all any parent could want for their child?"

"Yes," Ross admitted. "Joey does love her, doesn't she?"

"Oh, she truly does," Elsie said. "I don't think anybody could love our girl more than Joey does. And Charlie could never love anyone the way she loves Joey. They're perfect for each other."

"They are," Ross agreed reluctantly.

Elsie squeezed her husband's hand with as much strength as she could muster.

"I'm sorry I've been an arsehole."

"It's not me you need to apologise to."

"If you're not going to ask them now, when are you going to?" Carol asked, her voice revealing her growing impatience.

"Now isn't the time," Watson insisted, feeling a knot in her stomach beginning to tighten.

Everything seemed to be going so fast.

"When will it be then?"

"Maybe when Charlie's mother isn't about to die, Carol," Watson said, sounding desperate. "Have some sensitivity."

"I'm trying, okay? But I want us to be together. I don't want us to be on hold."

Unhappily, she turned towards the bar. Watson sighed heavily and turned away, bumping right into Joey and Charlie who looked just as glum as she did.

"What was that about?" Joey asked worriedly. "Are you okay?"

Watson glanced between them and the back of her retreated girlfriend who she could just about still make out. Taking a breath she decided it was now or never.

"We wanted to move in together, like, have Carol move into the apartment," she explained.

"So, what's the problem?" Charlie asked.

"I was reluctant to ask you because of... everything," Watson said, hanging her head.

"Oh, sweetheart," Charlie said, pulling her friend into a hug. "You should have just said. We wouldn't have minded."

"Yeah, she's there all the time anyway!" Joey teased, joining in for a group hug.

"You don't mind?" Watson checked.

"Of course not," Charlie confirmed.

Watson grinned.

"I'll go tell her! That's if she's willing to forgive me!"

She bounded away.

Charlie and Joey walked home hand in hand, both having silently agreed not to discuss Brett's little outburst.

"Oh, guess what," Joey said, suddenly erupting into a high pitched squeak.

"What?" Charlie asked, although she had a feeling she already knew.

"Martha and Jack asked me to do a reading at the wedding. How cool is that?"

"That's awesome!"
"You already knew, didn't you?"

"A little bit."

She squeezed Joey's hand and pulled her in closer. Joey stopped them on their travels and turned to Charlie. Reaching out to her, she pulled her in for a kiss. Smiling into Joey's lips, Charlie enjoyed the feeling of being so close with her girlfriend. She wondered if her heart would ever stop doing that little flip every time they kissed or even saw each other after a few hours apart. She hoped not. She would miss it. Eventually, they drew away but Charlie kept gazing at Joey.

"What was that for?" she wondered.

"Just because," Joey replied simply, as they began walking again.

It had been because she loved her. It had been because she could hardly go a minute without kissing her. And it had been because she'd been sweet enough to act surprised and enthusiastic over a piece of information she'd already known. Charlie always seemed to give the best to Joey; she always did everything she possibly could to make her feel good and special.

Ruby waited impatiently on the doorstep, starting to think her plan had been a bad one. Beginning to fret and feel a little nervous, she stood up, worrying about what to do. She heard footsteps and gentle laughter in the distance.

Arm in arm, Charlie and Joey approached their front door. They paused when they saw a figure in front of them. Stopping abruptly, the girls just stared.

"Ruby?" Charlie gasped, finally finding her voice.

Ruby threw herself into her elder sister's arms and held on tightly, promptly bursting into tears. Charlie wrapped her arms tightly around her, stunned at seeing her and glanced worriedly at Joey who looked equally as bewildered.

"Ruby, what are you doing here?" Charlie asked.

"I ran away!" Ruby said.

"Well, obviously!" Charlie said, clutching her sister's face tenderly, drawing away enough so that she could look her in the eye.

"Sweetheart, how did you even get here?"

"Bus," Ruby whimpered. "I couldn't... I couldn't let Mum go without... without saying... saying goodbye. Charlie, I couldn't!"

"I know. I know, darling."

"I needed to see Mum," Ruby sobbed. "I couldn't stay away. I love her, Charlie. I love her. I need her."

"It's okay, Ruby. It's good that you're here. I'm just sorry that I didn't come get you myself," Charlie said honestly.

She held her beloved sister a little closer and then nodded for Joey to unlock the door. Joey obliged and the three of them bundled inside.

Half an hour later, Ruby was tucked into Charlie's double bed. In Joey's room, Charlie was curled into her girlfriend, feeling shaken and guilty.

"I should have realised how desperate she was," she said. "I should have gone up and collected her. She needed to say goodbye. She told me a thousand times and I should have listened. I should have ignored Dad and gone and got her. Instead, I left her to catch the bus and drag herself the whole way here."

"It's done now," Joey said gently. "You can't change it so stop punishing yourself."

"She's spent three hours waiting on our doorstep, too afraid to come find us in the dark and not able to call because her mobile died!" Charlie protested.

"Ssh," Joey whispered softly, stroking Charlie's arm. "It's okay."

"I've let her down."

"Did she seem mad at you?"

"No," Charlie said, shaking her head.

"Well, then."

Charlie looked sadly into Joey's soulful eyes. Joey kissed her nose, making her grin.

"Ruby loves you. That's why she came here instead of to your parents. Because she loves you and she trusts you. She knows you understand her. So rather than dwelling on what might have been the right thing to do, just focus on the here and now. Be there for her now because she's going to need support when she sees Elsie tomorrow. These next few weeks are going to be hard on everyone."

Charlie nodded. Several tears fell. Joey kissed them away. Charlie clung on tighter.

The following morning, Ross was up early. He spent each night in a little camp bed beside the double he had always shared with his wife. With her drip and pain and awkwardness, it somehow didn't feel right to sleep beside her now. He felt too afraid of hurting her or disturbing her when he wasn't conscious and in control of his actions. So, while he would happily hold her during the day when he was awake, at night, he would sleep separately but in the same room. Rising, he checked on her. She seemed deathly pale. It stabbed through his heart. Her eyes fluttered open, as if she knew she was being watched.

"Morning," she said weakly, forcing a smile.

He bent to kiss her almost bloodless lips. Her smile brightened a little.

"Good morning, sweetheart," he said kindly.

He began to administer her morning medication as he made conversation about how she had slept, even though, having been up with her several times, he knew exactly how the night had gone. It was a morning ritual they had been acting out for months.

Across town, Joey was making breakfast for three. Charlie was still in bed, feeling drained from the night before. Joey was secretly not feeling much better, more from the encounter with Brett really, but she was choosing not to think about that. There were more important things to think about now. She looked up when a fragile looking Ruby padded into the room in her pyjamas and slippers.

"Morning, Joey," she said. "Thanks for putting me up."

"Of course," Joey said. "This is your home as much as your parents' place. Juice and toast?"

"Yes please."

Ross had showered and shaved and was sitting out in the garden indulging in a sneaky cigarette as he gazed up at the sky. The nurse was looking in on Elsie. She'd told him that his wife needed help breathing now as her lungs were beginning to struggle. Ross was not looking forward to Charlie and Joey's visit. They were due any time now. They normally stayed all day on Sundays if Charlie wasn't on shift. He didn't think she would cope well with the breathing apparatus and he knew he needed to make things right between himself and his daughter. And his daughter's girlfriend.

Charlie, Joey and Ruby pulled up outside Ross and Elsie's house. Charlie killed the engine and all three looked at each other. Nobody really wanted to face Detective Buckton but all three wanted to see Elsie. They climbed out of the car in unison.

Elsie looked up when her bedroom door opened. She was startled when she saw her youngest daughter rather than her eldest standing there timidly. For a moment she thought she was hallucinating. Pulling her oxygen mask down, she whispered her name.

"I left school yesterday," Ruby explained. "Please don't be mad. I had to see you."

Elsie had no intention of being angry. She smiled tenderly at her child and lifted her arm to beckon her over. Ruby perched on the edge of the bed and held her mother's hand.

"Baby girl," Elsie said. "Words could never describe how happy I am to see you."

Ruby beamed at her mother.

"I love you so much, Mum," she said.

"Did I just see Ruby?" Ross asked, coming back into the house and encountering Charlie and Joey.

"Yes, you did," Charlie replied.

Immediately he jumped to conclusions, believing that they had gone behind his back and collected her from school when they went 'out' the day before.

"Did you take her out of school, Charlie?" he asked. "Did you go behind my back? How could you do this?"

"No!" Charlie protested. "I didn't..."

"How dare you defy me? In case you hadn't noticed, I am the parent here! I make the decisions!" Ross raged, without even listening to Charlie.

"And damn lousy ones at that," Charlie commented. "But if you'd actually give me a chance to speak, you'd know that I didn't do any of the things you're accusing me of."

"So what happened?" Ross asked.

"Ruby showed up on our door absolutely distraught last night. It would have been better if I had collected her because as it stands, she came here all by herself. She was frightened and alone and desperate to see her mother before she dies."

Ross sank down suddenly in a chair with his head in his hands. Charlie and Joey watched in surprised silence as he began to cry. Neither of them knew what to do. Glancing at Joey, Charlie sat down beside her father and put an arm around his broad shoulders. It felt weird to comfort him in this way. This wasn't part of their relationship.

"I'm sorry," Ross whimpered. "I'm sorry for letting you all down."

Charlie glanced again at Joey who seemed rooted to the spot.

"I'm sorry I've been a bad husband to your mother and a bad father to you kids. I'm sorry I've made bad decisions at every single turn."

"Dad..."

"I was never the right person for your mother. I never showed you the love you needed, the love I always felt for you. I do accept you and Joey."

He looked up at Charlie's girlfriend who had begun anxiously inching away from the private scene.

"I accept you as the person my daughter's chosen to be with."

"Thank you," Joey said meekly.

Ross nodded and turned back to Charlie with wide eyes.

"Will Ruby ever forgive me?" he asked.

"She will," Charlie said softly but confidently.

"Will you?"

"Yes," she said even more softly.

The day passed as if everyone was in some kind of strange dream. Ross, Charlie, Joey and Ruby floated round the house. Elsie stayed in the same sick bed, surviving on oxygen and morphine. She talked gently and laughed quietly but still as often as possible. She longed for people to stay in the room all the time, never wanting to be alone and yet always feeling like a burden to be baby-sat. Towards the late afternoon, the pain was increasing but she didn't tell a soul. Charlie and Joey holding one hand each. Charlie was on the bed, reaching over Elsie's frail body. Joey was on the chair that had been brought up from the dining room many months ago.

"Hey, do you remember the time we all went to see Santa at Santa's grotto?" Elsie asked. "Charlie, you were about eight and you'd already stopped believing in him but Joey, you still believed. You really wanted to go and meet him in the shopping centre and get a gift and have you photo taken but you were so scared that you cried and..."

She took a breath.

"Charlie took my hand and went with me," Joey remembered, smiling fondly at her girlfriend.

Charlie blushed and smiled shyly.

"She was always doing that kind of thing, wasn't she, Aunt Elsie?" Joey said.

"Yeah," Elsie said. "That was the kind of thing that always made me so proud of my girl."

Charlie blushed more.

"And Ross always insisted that it was bravery and wits that would make a good cop out of her and I knew that those things were important but..."

She took another breath.

"But I always thought it was her heart that would be the key."

She turned her attention to her daughter.

"It was always your heart that has made me so proud, Charlie. Your love for people, your heart for looking after those you care about, that's what makes you so good at what you do."

Charlie stroked her mother's hand.

"If I have done anything good in my life, it's raising my girls. And Joey, I know I didn't raise you but I'm as proud of you as I am of them. The three of you, my Charlie, my Joey and my Ruby, you three, you've made my life complete."

Joey could hardly contain how touched she was to be included in that. She looked up sharply as she heard Elsie's breathing become a little more ragged.

"Mum?"

Charlie's voice came out sharply. Elsie closed her eyes.

"Mum?" Charlie said again.

"Charlie I'm tired," Elise said, sounding exactly that.

Charlie leant closer, willing sheer panic not to take over.

"I'm tired, Charlie. I need to rest. It's time to let me go."

"But Mum..."

"And I feel like... like I can go peacefully now, now that I've seen my Ruby and you... you and Joey are h... happy and your Dad... your Dad has given you his blessing. I feel peaceful now."

Charlie looked stricken. Elsie might be ready but Charlie wasn't.

"Take care of Ruby. You be her Mum now, okay?"

"I..."

"And Joey will take care of you. She'll do such a good job. I know she will. She loves you like I love Clara."

Joey felt tears sting her eyes.

"And I'm going to be with her in the next life. I can feel it."

Charlie clutched her mother's hand tightly.

"I'm sorry for leaving you. I hope you can forgive me. But it's not forever. Because love never dies."

Charlie forced herself not to cry. The sound of her tears would not be the last thing Elsie heard.

"I love you," Charlie promised.

Her mother slipped away in her arms.

Hi everyone. I just wanted to say thank you all for your commitment to this story and to Elsie. I am so touched that you took her into your hearts. I was so sad writing her death as she really came to mean a lot to me as well but I think we can all say that she certainly did not live and die in vain. She taught our girls to live for what they believed in and that was each other and they might never have got together if it hadn't been for her. I know this is the chapter that nobody was looking forward to and the next one will be fairly emotional as we say goodbye to her but there will be plenty of good times ahead for Charlie and Joey so I hope you will all keep reading. Thank you all once again for keeping reading. All your reviews and everything mean so much. You encourage, delight and bring genuine joy to my life each time I get a message to say someone has responded to something I've written. Thank you so much. IJKS xxx