Zach shows up in board shorts and a tank top with a familiar-looking box. He shows me and I recognize the handwriting on it.
"Figured I'd bring these here where they'll get some use and Cody won't try opening them," he confesses and I laugh. He sets it on the table along with his shirt, which he quickly removes to jump in the pool, disrupting my floating. He dives under the water and pops up near me with a smile. I grab hold of him and give him a quick kiss. He deepens the kiss and grabs my waist, pulling me closer as he slowly moves us across the pool.
"Hi there," I greet him between kisses.
"Oh, hi," he counters back, pulling me closer. We've neared the deep end of the pool and our heads are just above the water line. His lips approach mine and I lean in to meet them when he grabs my shoulders to duck me under the water. Brat! I grab his hips and squeeze, which I know will make him squirm enough that I can push him under. It works, but while he's submerged, his fingers grasp at the hem of my trunks, pulling them low across my hips before I can grab the waist to keep them on. He jumps up, laughing and is so beautiful and loveable that I grab him and hold him close. His laughing stops and he pulls me tighter into his embrace. I focus on my breathing because the love I feel right now is overwhelming. He senses something's up and just quietly lets me hold him. I get my composure back and release him. "Was I uh, doing weird things to you again?" he whispers. I smile and nod. "Sorry 'bout that."
"You don't ever have to be sorry for it," I shyly smile. "I like it. It's just sometimes…" I'm at a loss for words on how to begin to explain how I feel with him around.
"Too awesome?" he offers. I smile and nod.
"Yes, it's definitely too awesome." He kisses me again and I grab around his hips pulling him up a bit out of the water. He wraps his legs around my waist and my hands are holding his ass up as his tongue enters my mouth. We kiss like that for a few seconds when my playful side overtakes the emotional moment I'd been having. Firmly holding Zach, mid-kiss, I drop us both under the water. Instead of rushing to get back up to air, he prolongs the kiss underwater, grabbing my face firmly to seal the air between us. As hot as this is, I begin to get a bit dizzy and have to return to the surface.
Above water, we're both panting from the lack oxygen, but grinning at each other. He gestures to the steps with his head. "I'm ready to get out if you are," he offers. I nod and we wade over in that direction. He gets out first, and as he takes the second of four steps to get out, I grab his shorts and pull down. He jumps and falls back toward me, twisting mid-fall so that he's pressed up against me with his butt falling out of his precariously hanging trunks. Laughingly, he threatens me. "When you least expect it, I will return the favor."
"I look forward to it," I reply as I kiss him and then smack his bare backside, still careful of the hickey which has turned a puce greenish-yellow.
He pulls the board shorts up and we exit the pool. I grab my towel and use it quickly before offering it to Zach. He dries off and we go inside. I grab his package from Gabe and set it on the counter in the kitchen.
"Have you eaten lunch?" he enquires. I shake my head, and he immediately heads to the kitchen and opens the fridge to evaluate. "We're going shopping tomorrow, dude," he grimaces at what's available. Finding some frozen hamburger patties tucked away in the freezer, he pulls them out. "Wanna grill?"
"Sure," I agree. He gathers the necessary equipment as I grab a couple bottles of beer and we go back outside to the barbeque. The sun continues drying us as the burgers cook. I take over grilling duties as Zach carefully watches while drinking his beer.
"So, what are you doing in 'San Diego' tonight?" I ask as I flip over the beef.
"Uh, hitting up an art show, and maybe a concert," he explains. I smile. At least he's using art as an excuse, which reminds me of CalArts.
"How's your application coming along?" I query, starting to feel like a nag about it.
"It's done."
"That's great! Have you submitted it?" I excitedly ask. "Isn't the due date coming up soon?"
"No, uh, not yet, you know?" he looks away. That can't be good. "It's due the last day of the month."
"That's coming up quick; what's stopping you?"
"Shaun, I need to make enough money to cover bills with less time available to work. I've been looking for a better-paying job. If it doesn't happen this semester, CalArts will be there next year."
"You're right," I concede, gulping. "But if the opportunity arose where that wasn't a concern, would you take it?" Zach looks at me like I'm crazy.
"Of course, but even with the scholarships I'd be applying for, that doesn't mean they'd cover my living situation with Jeanne and Codes. Or the gas to drive back and forth every day."
I use this opportunity to introduce him to the idea I've been actively pursuing. "Well, what if you guys moved closer to the city?" I offer.
"Yeah right. Jeanne wouldn't go for that. Her life and friends are here in San Pedro. And my dad's nearby." Zach stubbornly holds those red threads tight, but I can't fault him; it's a quality I find very attractive in him.
"What if you spend the week at CalArts and return on weekends?" I pose. He shakes his head.
"I've usually got Codes a few nights a week. When Jeanne's working late or goes out, you know? Let's face it; it's hopeless." He sighs and it breaks my heart. I refrain from blurting out what I have been working toward even though I want to. I won't say anything specific until it's a sure thing and all lined up, making the resolution to tell him as soon as I get back from LA.
"Oh. Okay," I reply quietly. All the silliness of our pool antics have fled as I turn off the grill. We eat on the patio in relative silence.
"You uh, did a good job on these," he pacifies me, pointing to his burger.
Hoping to lighten the mood, I grin. "Thanks. I told you I'm good at barbeque." We finish our very-late lunch and the quiet between us has gone from more awkward to mellow.
Zach insists on doing the dishes ("You cooked, I clean!"), so while he's working in the kitchen, I grab the condoms and head upstairs, dumping them with mine. The sun's beginning to set and the balcony calls to me. I lean against the wall, and look at the ocean. What if Zach doesn't want to uproot his life? Is my desire to get him to LA really for his benefit or because it makes my life easier? Obviously CalArts would be an amazing experience, but it's not like it's the only art school he could go to. Should I re-think my plan? I want to involve Zach and get his input but the damn promise I made to give him time prevents me from an all-out declaration of love. Obviously if things progress much more, I'll need to say something but I'm scared to disrupt the perfect slice of summer we've shared.
I hear him come outside and turn to face him, grabbing his hand in mine. Without words, we kiss, and there's an almost-desperate quality to our lip-lock. He cradles the back of my head and pulls me closer as I open my mouth to him. Instead of a lazy exploration I'm used to from his kisses, this is more probing and intense. After a few more seconds, he pulls back, shuddering. I grab his upper arms and rub them, stroking up and down.
"You okay?" I break the silence.
"Yeah. Yeah," is the only thing he can come up with. I can tell something is on his mind and I wonder if our conversation has shaken him up a bit too. It's a relief to know that I'm not the only one of us who is feeling emotions and thoughts on a nearly-physical level. I realize that even if it means living in a shack on the beach with him, I can't not have this man as an integral part of my life. The intensity of my feelings for him scares me, and when I think of past lovers I lived with, moved in with so cavalierly, it makes making this happen so much a more important and sweeter goal.
I drop my hands from his arms and he grasps my fingers with his and gives me a half-smile. "So, what now?" I ask, unsure of whether I even mean immediately or in the future.
"Wanna conserve some water and get your back scrubbed in the process?" he replies, his half-grin widening into the real thing.
"Of course!" He leads me into the bathroom and we drop our trunks on the floor. We step inside the shower and he grabs the sponge and shower gel, turning me around to clean my back as promised. He plants a kiss on my shoulder blade while he does it. He presents his back to me when he finishes and I caress him with the sponge. Looking at the hickey on his butt cheek, I gently poke it. "Does it hurt?" I ask, beginning to feel remorse for such a deep bruise that was meant in jest.
He turns around to face me. "No, I uh, like it. It's like you're there even when you're not. Sometimes I back into something and feel it and remember you, or I'll see it in the mirror after a shower. Does that sound totally girly and weird?"
I shake my head and smile. "No. I love that you think of me when I'm not around." I inhale, wondering if he picked up on my word choice the way I did his when he appreciated my scruff. His face breaks out in a smile and I exhale, then grab him for a kiss.
We continue the shower in a more playful mood than on the balcony. As we're getting ready to step out of the shower, he turns to me and blushes.
"What?" I ask, confused.
"Can I uh, I mean, I was thinking I might wanna try, uh, bottoming tonight, maybe."
"Oh," I reply, surprised at this revelation. I usually prefer to bottom but am not averse to topping and I want him to experience and enjoy every aspect of gay sex. "Well then, let's do it."