Heyo!

So I had some free time and I got my Christmas update done early! So, seeing as it's only a few days until Christmas, I figured I could just go ahead and put it up now.

So a happy holidays to all of you and enjoy.

I don't own Borderlands.

Enjoy!

A Christmas Story

"So you want to hear a story eh? One of adventure, loot, and insane amounts of violence?"

"Not really."

"What? What do you mean not really?"

"I mean its Christmas, I want to hear a Christmas story!"

"Eh... I don't really do holidays..."

"Please?"

"Don't give me that look orphan boy."

"Please?"

"Not going to work."

"Please?"

"Oh alright fine! But for the Angel's sake, just stop giving me that look."

"Yay!"

"Can it. Now... Our tale begins on a snowy winter's night, not unlike this one, in the great city of Sanctuary..."

It was cold and grey in the city of Sanctuary. Snow drifted down in large wet clumps, covering the ground and mixing with the water in the street into a slushy mixture the covered the ground.

Most of the shops in Sanctuary had already closed down for the night. Scooter's Garage was closed up, garage door shut and lights turned out, the door slot at Crazy Earl's Black Market was shut tight, and the neon sign above Zed's twenty four hour clinic was dark.

Really only one shop remained open in the entire city; Marcus Munitions.

Inside, Marcus sat at the front counter, selling a gun to the last customer of the night.

"And you say it's guaranteed to stop a marauder?"

"I'm willing to bet your life." Marcus said with a laugh.

"Well... I guess that's good enough. I'll take it."

"Good. Now pay up and get out."

The customer handed over the cash and walked to the door.

"Merry Christmas!" He said cheerily as he walked outside.

"Bah humbug." Marcus replied.

"What does 'humbug' mean?"

"It means shut up I'm telling a story."

Marcus put the cash inside a strong box and shut off the light in the room he was sitting in. He walked out into the shooting range, locking the door behind him.

There were a couple groans from the Hyperion personnel attached to the targets.

"Shut up!" He yelled at them.

He tossed a grenade down range and the groans stopped after it went off.

Marcus also made a mental note to get more targets.

"Excuse me, Mister Marcus, sir?"

"Huh?" Marcus asked. "Oh it's just you. What do you want Hamamerlock?"

"Well sir... You see it's just that tomorrow being Christmas, I thought maybe I could get the day off?"

Marcus stared for a moment before bursting into laughter.

"That's a good one Hammerlock." He slapped the hunter on the back. "I almost thought you were serious for a moment there."

"I was serious sir."

Marcus stopped laughing.

"Were you now?"

"Yes sir."

"Well I suppose in that case... No."

"But sir, it will be Christmas. Who needs to buy a gun on Christmas?"

"Eh... Alright, you've got a point. You can have the day off."

"Oh thank you sir." Hammerlock said.

"But don't think you're getting a paid day off either Hammerlock."

"Yes sir. I understand."

"Good. Then I'll see you in two days. Good night Hammerlock. Lock up when you leave."

Marcus walked out the door leaving Hammerlock inside.

"Oh, is this the part where he sings a song?"

"What? No. This isn't a musical you dirty little orphan."

"But it could be a musical."

"You want to sleep outside with the skags again?"

"No mister Marcus sir..."

"Good. Then shut up and let me finish. Uh... Where was I... Oh right! So Marcus left the shop and walked into the street..."

Marcus walked into the streets of Sanctuary, freezing, snow covered and dark. The darkness penetrated only by a few odd street lamps that dotted the city.

He turned down one of the streets and began to walk to his home. The still falling snow filled the air, reducing the visibility to almost nothing and covering the ground in a mix of snow and slush. Progress was slow. But eventually Marcus made it to his destination.

He pulled a key out of his pocket and reached for the door handle, but stopped short.

Just for a moment, he thought he saw something on the door. A short of image that looked not unlike...

"No, it was nothing." He said out loud, pushing the thought from his mind.

He placed the key in the lock and opened the door. Walked inside and closed it behind him. But no matter what he told himself, he was sure that he had seen something on the door, something that looked familiar, like the face of an old, long gone friend...

"Is that foreshadowing?"

"You're gonna be foreshadowing if you don't stop interrupting me."

"That doesn't make sense."

"Neither does your face. Now shut up and let me tell the story."

So Marcus began to get ready to go to sleep, trying to push the image of what he thought he had seen out of his mind.

Just before the stroke of midnight, he was sitting in a chair near his fire, about to get up and go to bed, when he thought that he heard a noise from behind.

He turned around only to see nothing there.

"Eh... Must be hearing things..." He muttered.

He turned back around and that's when he saw it.

Sitting across from him was a pale figure, staring blankly at Marcus.

Marcus let out a scream of terror and grabbed a nearby pistol.

He fired at the figure, only for nothing to happen.

"Gah! What are you and why won't you die?!"

"You mean you don't recognize me?"

Something about the voice was familiar to Marcus and as he looked at the figure he suddenly realized who he was speaking too.

"TK Baha? Is that you?"

He nodded.

"But... You've been dead for years."

"So?"

"So why are you here? Shouldn't you be in some sort of afterlife or you know, dead? You're not a zombie are you?"

"Oh I wish it were like that. But you see it's not always as simple as die and move on."

He rattled a chain attached to his arm.

"You see these?"

"Yes."

"These chains keep people bound to this world after they've died. Each one represents years of wandering in limbo between here and the afterlife."

"Why are you telling me this. Why are you even here?"

"Because I don't want you to suffer as I have, I'm here to warn you Marcus. As heavy as my chains are, yours will be tenfold times tenfold."

"Huh?"

"You're gonna spend a hell of a lota time wandering the earth you miserable bastard."

"Oh, why didn't you just say that?"

"Look, Marcus, your chains are much worse than mine and you will wear them for eternity unless you change your ways. Tonight you shall be visited by three ghosts. They will show you your past, present and future. Should you heed their warnings you may not have to endure what I have. But should you fail to listen. Well, let's just say that we're prepared for you on the other side."

There was a flash of light and TK disappeared.

"Why are there ghosts if this is a Christmas story?"

"Because shut up."

Marcus sat in silence for a few minutes, thinking to himself about what had just occurred. As he was thinking, the clock began to strike midnight.

At the first chime, a dim light appeared across the room. At the second chime it came closer and grew brighter. It continued in this fashion, until the twelfth chime, upon which the light, now directly in front of Marcus, seemed to burst. Its light flooded the room and blinded Marcus.

When his sight returned he saw a figure before him, that of a young woman, floating in the air.

"Marcus Kincaid, I am the Ghost of Christmas Past."

"Oh for the Angel's sake. You've got to be kid-"

The ghost interrupted him with a slap to the face.

"What was that for?"

"Don't use my name in vain."

"Wait... You are the Guardian Angel? What are you doing here? I thought you were dead?"

"What part of ghost did you not understand?"

"I uh... Good point."

"Now, like I was saying... I am the Ghost of Christmas Past. I am here to take you back into your past and show you why you are what you are today."

"So does is this going to involve time travel or-"

"Never mind how it works. Just understand that you will be able to see the past but the people there won't be able to see you."

The Guardian Angel's tattoos began to glow and the space around her warped. An instant later it stopped and everything returned to normal, except they were no longer in Marcus's home.

"Where are we?"

"Don't you recognize it? You spent so many years here."

"Wait a minute... This is old Mister Blake's shop isn't it?. I was his apprentice for fifteen years. But what does this have to do with anything?"

"It has everything to do with do with who you are. Take a look."

Marcus took in the surroundings, the room was full of people all of them enjoying themselves. Music played in the background and a long table was filled with food. But even amongst all the cheer, Marcus frowned.

"I don't see myself anywhere. Wasn't I his apprentice? Wasn't I invited?"

"You were. But instead of attending Mr. Blake's Christmas party you decided to work through the holiday."

"Why would I have done that?"

"Maybe because of this."

Angel waved a hand and the scene disappeared. Another took its place, one of a young Marcus and his father together.

Marcus was about to talk but the Angel quieted him.

"Just listen." She said.

"But father, I don't want to be Mr. Blake's apprentice."

"Be quiet you dirty little kid. I arranged for this and you will do it."

"But father, I don't want to go and be a shop keep; I want to be a Vault Hunter."

"You will do as you're told."

The scene seemed to freeze in time.

"Miserable old bastard. Sent me off to be an apprentice shopkeeper while he hunted for the Vault. I spent all those years trying to prove myself to him, working hard every day, even through the holidays, barely slept at night. But then he died before I could show him what I'd become, and on Christmas Eve no less."

"So do you now see what the past has made you become?"

"A bunch of humbug. If you think I'll admit to being a miserable old miser just because my bastard of a father died on Christmas Eve, you're dead wrong. He never did a damn thing for me. I didn't miss him a bit."

"So you've learned nothing at all here?"

"There's nothing to learn."

Angel sighed.

"Very well. Perhaps the next visitor will have better luck than I."

Angel waved her hand and the two were returned to Marcus's home.

"I do hope you learn the error of your ways before the end of the night Marcus."

With that Angel disappeared in a flash of light.

Just after the Guardian Angel left, the clock began to strike one o' clock.

A different figure appeared in the room across from him. He held a mug in one hand and a skag leg in another. He sat in an ornate golden chair and seemed in an all around cheery mood.

"Care for a drink amigo?" He asked as soon as he had materialized.

"Salvador?"

"The one and only." He said with a smile.

"But I thought I was supposed to be visited by ghosts. Last time I checked you weren't dead."

"Last time you checked was two days ago." He said. "Yesterday I had a little fall off the side of the city."

"But what about the New-U Stations?"

"They don't operate on the holidays. As soon as Christmas is over I'll be back."

Marcus nodded.

"In the meantime I'm here to teach you a lesson about Christmas. Or something like that..."

Salvador snapped his fingers and the room disappeared, and the two were transported to the streets of Sanctuary.

"Where are we?"

"Right out of Hammerlock's house."

Marcus took a look inside through the window.

The house was small and rather pathetic looking. A small fire burned in the fireplace while Hammerlock was hunched over in a chair nearby reading a book.

"Why is his house so miserable?"

"Because that's all he can afford on what you pay him."

"Isn't this the same Hammerlock that regularly takes hunting trips to a different continent?"

"He uh... Never mind that. Focus on the now."

Marcus turned his attention back to window of the house.

Just entering the house was a small girl, she stumbled in the doorway and fell to the ground. Hammerlock got up and helped her back up on her feet.

"Who's that?"

"That's Tiny Tina. She was an orphan living out in the borderlands until Hamamerlock took her in."

"What's wrong with her?"

"She's sick. Living on Pandora doesn't exactly make for healthy living. Unless she gets treatment she will die within the next year."

"Well why doesn't the man take her to a doctor?"

"He can't afford it on what you pay him."

Marcus was silent for a moment.

"If you think that you're going to guilt trip me into paying Hammerlock more than I already am you're dead wrong."

Salvador shrugged.

"Whatever you say."

He snapped his fingers again and the two were taking back to Marcus's house.

"The final spirit shall visit you soon. I recommend you listen to him."

At that moment he disappeared.

Not but a second later the clock struck two, on the first chime a chill went through the room and on the second it went pitch black.

The light slowly returned to reveal an imposing figure, clad in all black.

"Are you the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come?" Marcus managed to say, stricken with fear.

The specter nodded.

"And what exactly are you here to show me?"

The figure did not say anything but the room disappeared and Marcus found himself in a bandit camp.

"What's going on? Why are we here?"

The specter pointed to some bandits in front of them.

They were rifling through the contents of a loot chest and dividing it amongst themselves.

"Are those are my things? Why do bandits have my stuff?"

Without an explanation from the ghost the scene changed again, this time to a graveyard.

"What business do we have here?"

The ghost pointed.

In front of Marcus was Hammerlock crouched down next to a freshly dug grave.

Marcus approached it and read the name on the stone it said "Tiny Tina."

"So the girl died... It's none of my concern. Are we done here?"

The figure pointed to another nearby grave, this one also freshly dug, but the state it was in said that it obviously had not been visited since it had been dug.

Marcus approached it, looking at the name on the stone, shrouded in shadows.

As he got closer his eyes went wide, for the tombstone was his own; it read "Marcus Kincaid" with the words "unloved by all" graffitied underneath.

He turned to the ghost.

"Tell me spirit, for I must know this; are these visions of things that will come or things that may be? Is this the future set in stone or may it yet be changed? Is there yet hope for me?"

The figure stayed silent.

"Please, please, I beg you tell me!"

The ghost did not speak.

Marcus pulled out his pistol and fired at the ghost in frustration.

Suddenly darkness consumed everything.

Marcus awoke, in his room holding a pistol in hand. There were holes shot into the windows curtains from when he had fired the gun.

"I-I'm not dead! I shall head the warnings of the spirits. I shall become a changed man! I know not if my future is set, but I shall do my best to alter it."

"And then he started paying Hammerlock more money and gave lots away to charity and became a changed man. Eh... Makes me want to vomit..."

"I liked that story."

"Shut up orphan boy."

Cast-

Ebenezer Scrooge- Marcus

Bob Cratchit- Sir Hammerlock

Tiny Tim- Tiny Tina

Jacob Marley- TK Baha

Ghost of Christmas Past- The Guardian Angel

Ghost of Christmas Present- Salvador

Ghost of Christmas Ye to Come- Zer0

Storyteller- Marcus

Unnamed Orphan Boy- Himself

"A Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight!"

"Shut up orphan boy."

Authors Note: I thought about making Claptrap and Gaige two of the ghosts but I'm pretty sure they're Jewish (Based on some of their dialog in Poker Night 2 and Borderlands 2 respectively.)

Anyway a merry whatever-you-happen to celebrate at this time of year.