Letters with my murdering, possibly psychotic arch nemesis-

(A/n Hello and welcome to this little story. I am insanely bored and now have an idea. To the readers of my Snarry I AM SOOOOO sorry. My comp crashed and that file was on it and I dunno how to write more on it so you'll have to wait for my blockage to be over.

PLEASE accept this Voldemort/Harry story as compensation.

In short; Harry wakes from a nightmare in the first week after the Ministry mishap/Sirius's death and being sent home from Hogwarts for vacation and being the hormonal teenager he is he sends off an annoyed ranting letter to the source of most of his problems! Enter Voldemort and lots of chaos that is sure to follow! Slash pairings" Voldemort/Harry Lucius/Severus and any others I can dream up.

Warning: It's slash…aka there shall be the SEX, drinking, smoking, bad language, cutting, other mischief, mean names, you know my protocol if you've read my other stories XD

Disclaimer: This is purely a fragment of my ADHD, overactive, caffeine occluded mind. I do not own the characters or anything from the Harry Potter Universe. DO NOT SUE ME. )

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I have an actual valid excuse for teh late update this time. My computer crashed (again) and I only recently got it back and then typed this out for you all ^.^ Thankfully the files were saved.

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-Dumbledore POV-

I paced quickly around my office. How in the WORLD could this happen?

Harry James Potter…PREGNANT! Why had his friends never told me he was gay? Why had he not chosen one of his quidditch friends to fuck instead of some unknown wizard out in the world and now Poppy and Minerva had just let him go! At least here I could monitor and suppress his magic. I didn't know exactly how he was growing so quickly in power…but it had to be suppressed before he realized his lineage. That blasted Potter lineage was so powerful, and if any of them could get down off a broom long enough to read a spell book they would've been some of the most powerful purebloods in Magical Europe.

Thankfully my plan to distract Harry as I had done with James worked. Only Miss Granger's insistence and nagging kept him from failing many courses, just as Lily had with James. I only had hoped Miss Granger would become Harry's Lily.

But no, she had to fall for the blasted Weasley boy. That boy was hell on wheels, the only reason I kept supporting his influence on Harry's life was because of the firm muggle-friendly traditions of the Weasleys. Keeping Harry from pureblood influence was crucial to my shaping him into my weapon, verses my adversary.

Now I had to track down the boy, make sure he made it through the damnable pregnancy, protect his child from the same influences I had to keep him away from, make sure I kept the father at bay, and still have him take on Voldemort.

My plans had to take a back burner to teenage drama.

I growled in frustration and Fawkes flapped his wings at me in surprise.

"Old friend, I need you to go and find Harry Potter for me, please," I told him. Fawkes eyed me questioningly. Why was he hesitating, Fawkes had never hesitated to follow my command before. "Can you do this for me? I am ever so worried for the boy's mental health. Finding out he is with child at such a young age."

Fakes cooed and flashed off. I smiled, at least he was dependable.

"Dumbledore," I looked over to the door. Ah, Severus' replacement was here.

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-Harry POV-

That night Tom and I walked down to have dinner. I was walking with my elbow looped in his and I looked up at him and warned, "My friend Seamus Finnegan came with us. They have to go back tonight so I don't know if he'll be at dinner. He's Joel's boyfriend…so please be nice. He's a really good friend I've had since first year." I didn't mention the troubled waters from last year, mostly because it had all cleared up. Tom chuckled.

"Oh so I can't hold a torture session after the appetizers?" Tom snarked. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Well look who came out to see us," Draco teased as he and Blaise came closer to the dining room. We went inside together to find Lucius and a thankfully up and about Severus waiting for us. The Rankins and Seamus weren't there yet.

"Are you feeling better Harry? Or do I have to go spend my evening brewing you morning sickness and hormone potions?" Severus asked with a sneer, but there was no actual bite in his words. I feigned as if I was about to throw up on him as I walked to my seat at Tom's right hand. Draco next to me and Blaise next to him while Lucius sat at Tom's left with Severus next to him.

"Where are those blasted Rankins, I'm starving," Blaise grumbled lightly.

"Seriously, have you even seen them since they left you?" Draco asked me. I shook my head.

Where could they have gone?

"Well I'm sure they won't care if we start dinner on time for once," Lucius added with an eye roll. We all laughed good naturedly and as Tom served himself we fell into the mundane appeal of a sit down dinner like we had had over the summer.

We got past the first course before the topic came up.

"Well…have you really… you know…decided at what you are going to do about…this," Blaise asked haltingly, as if trying to avoid saying it until I was comfortable with it, or maybe he was just uncomfortable with it. But that made no sense seeing how he was Draco's mate, maybe it was just shocking because… fuck me, because I'm so young.

"We're still working on it," I said stabbing at my lamb chop before managing to actually eat a few pieces of it while thinking of what else to say. Everyone waited for me to continue and I felt uneasy about the attention; Tom touched my hand under the table and I was able to look up at Blaise. He looked apologetic for even broaching the subject, but it needed to be talked about. "I think…I am sure I'm keeping the baby."

"And as for school, we'll figure that out once the Dumbledore situation is settled, because he is not leaving this house until the war is over," Tom insisted. I pinched him under the table and frowned. "I am deadly serious Harry, not even with your 'protectors'. It is simply too dangerous now!"

"And if I need a doctor? Or I want to be a normal person?" I snapped angrily. I snagged my hand away from his and jabbed a piece of roast potato before chomping on it violently.

"Harry…I'm only trying to protect you and…I love you…I can't stand to see you hurt or crying every time you come back here! Almost everytime you return it is because you are stressed, angry, or upset!"

"Or to have sex," I snapped.

"My Lord…should we leave?" Lucius asked catiously.

"No. It's over, I…I'm just sick of being locked up to be 'protected' but Tom's right. It's not safe for me to go out right now…Dumbledore will probably try to kill me for this…or brainwash me or something stupid like that," I said with a heavy sigh of defeat. Tom caught my gaze and I sent him a mental message of apology.

'I should apologize to you, not you to me…it's my fault you have to hide like this. If I was anyone else you'd merely have to worry about a teenage pregnancy,' Tom relayed with sarcasm and honesty all in one. Our situation was crap, and we both knew it.

'No…this is crap, but we'll deal with this and Dumbledore just like we've dealt with my relatives and our bumps along the way. This is just another hurtle…' I argued with sincerity, hoping he wouldn't feel regret about this. I loved him so much and I loathe it when we fight about things like this.

"Whatever it is, we shall get over it together," Tom said aloud. I smiled.

"Well now that that's settled, pass the wheat rolls will you Harry?" Draco said glibly. I chucked a roll at his head and the simple dinner was back and normalcy returned.

For the moment.

-x-

-Dumbledore POV-

I watched Fawkes' return and sat back with my tea.

"Well I think that will be all, welcome to Hogwarts, Professor Slughorn. I'm so glad you finally accepted my invitation to return to teaching and to also be our head of Slytherin once again," I said happily, I just knew my eyes were twinkling as he took a handful of lemon drops along with his tea.

With Horace taking over potions and the newest ministry DADA replacement, that was actually a secret member of the Order, I was on my way to gaining control over the staff and the influence of the better half of our students, the more controllable half.

I knew the Slytherins suffered from our tragic loss of Severus. Most of them probably knew him to be alive, and wherever the snake two-tome betrayer was…I hope Moody's torture session stuck with him for a good long while.

After a few moments of shooting the breeze with Horace, he retired to get unpacked and I turned almost to eagerly to Fawkes.

A few minutes later a frown was etched on my face. He hadn't been able to find Potter? HOW can a Phoenix not find someone? Surely Potter wasn't dead!

So where the hell was he?

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