AN: Thank you as always to aewgliriel for the Star Wars knowhow.
Chapter 35: Recovery pt. 2(Bodhi/Luke)
But in the end, he is a star
and no on in the galaxy has
ever loved the stars
as fiercely and truly as you
— Tia S.
Bodhi's relieved. More than just relieved he might even be happy. Knowing Jyn is okay, seeing K-2SO is back and Leia, and Chewie…
It felt a bit like getting a piece of home back when Jyn practically crushed him with an embrace.
But he still hangs back, watching as Cassian gets reacquainted with his droid. He doesn't expect to see Luke. Bodhi can only guess he's still on Dagobah and his absence dampens Bodhi's happiness at seeing everyone again.
Although he frowns as he spots the new figure with Leia, and Han's absence.
That's when Jyn calls out to him from the hoverchair Nurse Temple brought out for her.
He hesitates still, glancing back at Nadjia.
"Go on and be with your friends, I'll be around," she murmurs, giving him a light shove.
"You should m-meet them," Bodhi says and she rolls her eyes.
"Fine," she says, sounding utterly put upon.
She gives him another push and follows beside him and for some reason Bodhi is ducking his head as they walk up to where everyone is all clustered in the hall.
Jyn is staring up at them, a crease between her brows and Cassian looks ready to intervene from his spot leaning against the wall, when Nadjia saves them both the trouble.
"Hi I'm Nadjia," she says with a nod and her hands pushed into her pockets, "Your friends are a huge pain in my ass and I totally rescued them both, multiple times."
Jyn stares up at her with raised brows and her mouth hanging open while Cassian sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose like he's fighting off a migraine.
"She is actually being more or less accurate," Cassian says and Bodhi didn't know it was possible for Jyn's eyebrows to lift any higher but they do. She looks back and forth between Cassian and Nadjia and Bodhi, a little at a loss for words.
"Don't tell me, she's another of Cassian's friends?" K-2 asks sourly and suddenly it looks like Jyn's fighting the urge to smile as she replies, "Maybe she is."
And to Nadjia she says, "Lovely to meet you, I'm Jyn."
Nadjia's expression quirks just a little before she looks over at Cassian.
"I like her," she says and then turns on her heel and storms off, leaving them all to stare after her in silent perplexity.
"Is she always like that?" Leia asks quietly and Bodhi nods, "M-mostly, yeah."
Leia nods back almost solemnly, before smiling in his direction, "It's nice to see you again Bodhi," she says and he nods, still a little stunned by how well that entire exchange just went.
"You too," he replies and Leia's smile fades when she glances over her shoulder, back at the open door a few feet behind them. Jyn as well, goes solemn and then they're both looking at him.
"Wh-what is it?" he asks, unnerved and Jyn sighs, reaching out to put a hand on his arm.
"There's someone I think you'll want to see," she murmurs and with her other hand Jyn uses the controls to propel her chair back down the hall, to the door that K-2 stepped out of.
"He's actually awake, that's why I stepped out into the hall," K-2 says abruptly as they pass him and Jyn actually stops to smile up at the droid.
"Good job," she says warmly and Bodhi definitely doesn't understand the meaning of that as Jyn pulls him down the hall towards the open doorway.
Right before the door, she stops and looks up at him, like she's deciding something and he just waits, feeling utterly at sea as she nods and pulls him forward. As they turn into the doorway, she calls out, "Luke, you have a visitor," and she's smiling but it looks a little strained as he gets pulled into the room and sees Luke.
Bodhi nearly trips at the sight of him and only Jyn's hand on his arm steadies him.
Luke's sitting up in his bed, his hair is mussed, half his face is a wild bruise and his wide blue eyes catch on Bodhi's instantly.
Jyn sits there between the two of them for only a moment before she says, "I'll be outside, unless Nurse Temple drags me away. Holler if you need me." With that, she turns her chair around and motors it out of the room, hitting the controls for the door behind her.
Suddenly it's quieter than space and Luke's pulling his blanket up to his chest for some reason. He looks almost afraid as he stares at Bodhi.
Bodhi's mouth is desert dry. He's pretty sure his hands are shaking, but he pulls up a chair beside Luke's bed and sits down anyway.
He's terrified and Luke's watching him a bit like one might watch a bomb about to go off. Or a pane of glass that's about to shatter. It's not helping his nerves, but he plows onwards, starting with the easiest question he can think of.
"So did you f-finish your training?"
Bodhi's here. He's here.
Luke honestly can't believe it.
After everything that happened, he's not even sure what the visions meant, but Bodhi's here and he's safe and whole and the image of him covered in blood was so strong, so fear soaked...
Even now, looking at him, Luke can see it.
The moment Luke saw him step through the door, he pulled up the blankets to try and hide his arm. He's not even sure why, he just doesn't want Bodhi to see.
In the past, he would tell Bodhi everything.
But how could he possibly tell him this.
Bodhi, the man who tortured and nearly killed your best friend along with millions of others is my father.
I am the son of a mass murderer.
And I only have one hand now.
He feels nervous laughter bubbling up in his throat as Bodhi pulls up a chair and sits down by his bed.
Luke missed those brown eyes, that tawny skin. His long hair is pulled back in a braid and his stubble has grown in like when Luke first met him. Back on the base he'd usually been clean shaven, but in the last week or so he must have been too busy for that.
He looks over at Luke as he sits down and asks, "So did you f-finish your training?"
And Luke honestly wants to burst into tears.
Instead, he mutely shakes his head and Bodhi frowns.
"Did s-something happen with your teacher?"
Again he shakes his head. He has to say something, except he's afraid that one word will open up the yawning chasm of horror he now has inside of him.
Even now, he can feel Vader calling to him. It's got him in a cold sweat just thinking about it and yet he can't not think about it.
Ben said Vader murdered his father.
He lied.
There's so much cascading down on him at once and he doesn't even know where to begin.
And Bodhi's frown seems to deepen, worry lining his eyes and Luke wants to hide from that gaze. He wishes he could tell this to anybody else.
But not Bodhi.
"Are you o-okay?" Bodhi asks him, low and slow and Luke opens his mouth to say something, anything.
"I saw you," he says and he sounds ragged. Bodhi's expression furrows but he just nods patiently.
"When d-did you see me?"
"I had a vision. Master Yoda was teaching me a special kind of meditation… Or… Something, but I saw things, I saw you. "
Bodhi nods again, he doesn't take his eyes off Luke.
And Luke's hand tightens on the blanket he's still holding, just high enough to hide his missing hand.
"I saw a city in the clouds, and Jyn was scared, Leia was screaming and there were storm troopers, someone was torturing Han… Cassian was in a cantina, and I saw you... " he swallows past the choking feeling in his throat, "It was dark, like a street at night, and you were scared and there was blood all over you."
Bodhi doesn't move. His piercing gaze has Luke locked in place.
"Master Yoda told me not to go, but I wanted to stop that from happening. I went to the city in the clouds and…" he trails off, hanging his head.
"It was C-Cassian's blood."
Luke startles and looks up to see Bodhi watching him almost warily.
"If you saw… Wh-what I think you saw… Cassian got hurt on the mission. H-he's here though, he's okay. I got his blood on me when we h-helped carry him out."
He plucks at the plain gray long sleeve shirt he's wearing, over a pair of black trousers.
"This i-isn't mine. They gave me fresh clothes when we arrived but…" he trails off and looks up at Luke almost curiously.
"You said you h-had to leave. You had to train… b-but you left?"
Luke almost blushes at the memory of his goodbye to Bodhi. He felt so sure then, he feels almost embarrassed of that certainty now.
"After what I saw… I had to do something, but I think I failed…" he says, looking down and away from the other man.
"I think it all happened anyway. Nothing I did made any difference. Jyn and Leia ended up saving me."
And he can feel that burn in the back of his throat. His eyes sting and he tries to push all that down. His mouth twists bitterly of its own accord.
"Some Jedi I turned out to be," he says and the words shudder as he says them. He didn't want to do this here. He didn't want Bodhi to see this, but his composure is cracking, he can feel it chipping away and Bodhi stands up now, coated in worry.
Bodhi's too good for him, for this.
"Luke what happened?"
And Luke takes a deep, shuddering breath.
In for a credit… He thinks and he slowly pulls the blanket back so Bodhi can see.
The reaction is almost worse than he could have anticipated… It's so much kinder than he deserves
Bodhi inhales sharply before leaning forward, one hand ghosting over the stump where his arm used to be.
"Wh-who did this to you?" he whispers and he doesn't look repulsed or horrified he just looks… Sad.
"Darth Vader," Luke replies, and the tears begin to fall, "My father."
And Luke tries to hide his face as he cries in earnest, so he doesn't see Bodhi lean forward.
He only feels Bodhi's arms as they wrap around him, pulling him into a tight embrace.
And Luke should push him away.
He should hide this.
He shouldn't feel this where others could see.
But he's weak, and so he lets himself lean into Bodhi's warmth and cry.
Bodhi doesn't know what to say, what does anyone say to something like that?
It would be too much for anyone to process and Bodhi aches to wonder how long Luke's been holding all that in. He hangs onto Luke for dear life because he doesn't know what else to do.
And Luke sobs like agony itself.
His one good arm wraps back around Bodhi, while he holds the other close to his chest and stars, Bodhi wants to tell him it will all be fine.
He doesn't even know if it's true, but he wants to mean it enough for Luke to believe it too.
Luke might be the brightest, most hopeful person Bodhi has ever met. And right now it's like that light's been extinguished.
Luke has no idea how long he sits there, crying into Bodhi's shirt, hanging onto the man like he's a life raft.
He has no idea how long Bodhi patiently, just stands there with his arms around Luke like he's not at all tired of him or wanting to run far, far away from Darth Vader's son.
Eventually Luke has to stop crying, only because he's tired and empty. There's nothing left but sniffles and hiccups when he slowly lets go of Bodhi, leaning back from him, blushing and embarrassed.
He wants to tell Bodhi, he can leave, but he doesn't want him to go.
Instead Bodhi hesitantly perches on the edge of his bed and says, "S-so you can see the f-future… That's pretty cool r-right?"
It catches him so off guard, he nearly chokes on the wet laugh that escapes him. It sends him coughing and Bodhi hops off the bed and pours a glass of water from a pitcher that Luke didn't even notice sitting on his bedside table.
Moments later he comes back, pressing the glass into Luke's hand.
Luke drinks, and his hand trembles, but Bodhi doesn't say a word. Just watches him again. Wary and worried.
When Luke's finished the glass and has himself under some measure of control he replies, "Yes, that part is pretty cool I guess."
And Bodhi smiles a little, his eyes brightening.
"And I know it m-might take some physiotherapy to get used to it, but I'm sure they've got a cybernetic prosthetic all picked out once you've healed enough."
Luke grimaces down at where his right hand used to be.
"Have you ever heard of a Jedi withone hand?"
Bodhi shrugs, "I haven't h-heard of any Jedi really, all I ever heard w-was that they were all dead," he says and then looks back at Luke adding quickly, "Until I met y-you and Obi-Wan that is."
Luke sighs and Bodhi reaches out like he might touch him, but he stops his hand halfway between them before he pulls it back.
"I've never heard o-of a Jedi with one hand…" Bodhi says softly, his eyes downcast, his cheeks staining red, "Y-you could be the first."
And Luke doesn't know what to say to that.
He swallows hard and Bodhi's eyes catch on the movement of his throat before they dart away again.
Luke doesn't understand why Bodhi is the one acting embarrassed.
He doesn't understand why the other man is still here after learning Luke is the son of a monster.
"And what about Vader?" he asks, feeling the words like ash on his tongue, "You don't think that might hinder my becoming a Jedi?"
And now Bodhi looks at him properly, frowning again.
"Luke, you recall I w-worked for the Empire don't you?" he says slowly.
"So? You defected," Luke says and he sounds angry in his own ears, "What does that have to do with anything?"
And Bodhi cocks his head a little, that frown deepening. His mouth twists as he asks, "Luke, have you ever c-considered how many atrocities I might have b-been involved with?"
Luke shakes his head, "What are you even talking about?" he demands and he still sounds unsteady, like he's walking along the edge of a cliff. And Bodhi just looks so unbelievably sad.
"I ferried supplies, soldiers, even p-prisoners… I was at the Empire's b-beck and call for years and I hated it, but I didn't d-defect until Galen convinced me," he breaks off, shaking his head, "If it weren't for him, I might still be w-working for the Empire, aiding and abetting every h-horrific act they committed."
He stops then and looks at Luke.
"You th-though… You can't help who your f-father is. It doesn't make you anything less because you share h-his blood."
And Luke feels a bit like his already upended world got turned on its head again.
He feels a bit like he doesn't deserve this much kindness from anybody but especially not Bodhi.
Not the man who lost his home and his family to the Empire.
He shakes his head, "You shouldn't be this nice to me," he says, "I failed my training, I failed to stop all those bad things from happening, I just…failed."
And he's tired of saying it all aloud… He's tired from it. But Bodhi just stares at him and shrugs.
"I don't care if y-you failed. And I don't think you did anyway and you're my friend."
And Luke stares at this man for a long silent moment.
Oh… he thinks as something clicks into place.
That warmth in his chest...
It might be a little something more than friends.
He's still staring at Bodhi, thinking he deserves better friends. He deserves so much more and Bodhi's smiling at him and looking sad.
His smile is perfect like the rest of him and how did it take Luke so long to figure this out? He's exhausted and his eyelids are growing heavy and he should say something.
Bodhi gets off the bed and Luke wants to catch his arm and beg him not to leave.
But Bodhi touches him on the shoulder, a feather light wisp of fingers brushing over fabric.
"You should r-rest now," he says, applying the lightest pressure to Luke's shoulder, pushing him to lie down. And Luke does, staring up at Bodhi, willing himself to stay awake just a little longer.
"Will you be here when…?" he can't even finish the question, but Bodhi just smiles at him and sits back in that plastic chair, pulling it up a little closer.
"I'm n-not going anywhere," he says and Luke stares at Bodhi until sleep wins and pulls him back.
Bodhi Rook is a skilled pilot, a good friend, and the most beautiful man he's ever seen.
And Luke is hopelessly in love with him.
AN: Now some of you may be surprised but if you think about it I'm pretty sure we all find it 100% believable that Luke Skywalker is like a Jane Austen character who takes 200,000 words to figure out he likes somebody.
Also fun fact while writing the especially sad bits of this, Binary Sunset just HAPPENED to start playing on my playlist and I nearly started crying.
And since won't let me hyperlink here's the link for where I found the opening poem post/54868007488