Haymitch ushers me into the office, where Enobaria, Johanna, Beetee and Annie are already seated. All the remaining Victors, bar Katniss. I sit down next to Haymitch on one side of Snow's huge square desk, where we all sit in silence and wait for Katniss and Coin to arrive.
Why are we here? Why have they gathered us like this? All I can think is that they want us, as rebels against the Capitol, to be a part of Snow's execution. To show our faces. But then- what is Enobaria doing here? She's widely recognised across Panem as against the rebel cause… right? Her presence would hardly put things in our favour. She doesn't look pleased to be here anyway, whatever it's for.
Nobody in the room looks particularly healthy, either. Annie is pale and shaking, with red eyes and a swollen nose. Of course- Finnick. I try to smile at her, show her some sign of reassurance, but she's on the other side of the table and won't look up.
Johanna is wide-eyed and looks alert, jumping at every little noise. She sends me nervous glances across the desk but I shift my gaze before I can respond.
Next to Johanna sits Enobaria, looking bored and furious. She picks at the desk, scraping at the polish with a finely shaped nail. Her face is pale with dark circles under her eyes and a few cuts and scrapes along her cheeks. I wonder what happened to her…
Beetee on the other side of me, though still looking rather pale, looks the best out of us all. Maybe the most sleep deprived, but undoubtedly the healthiest.
Haymitch looks terrible. He's been running around looking after both me and Katniss as we wandered lost around the mansion, both with our 'mentally disorientated' bands rattling around our wrists. In one single moment he almost lost the two victors that have ever one for him, the only two friends he's ever really had- and it shows. There are cuts along his chin where he tried to shave, and a coffee stain on his white shirt. His hair, though combed though at the front, is slightly knotted at the back. And as if these things in themselves didn't give the impression of someone who has completely let himself go, his hands have begun to shake again. Not gently, like before, but rapidly. Like someone who, after trying so hard, has sunk back into his chronic alcoholism and has had to very suddenly sober up again to face reality.
And as I look around at us all, I notice that we are all wearing the same thing- the grey rebel uniform of District 13.
I stare at the dark wood of the desk, running my fingers along the edges and feeling the smooth polished surface of the ancient, rich wood. I can't look at the other victors anymore, my friends. I can't.
My head snaps up as Katniss pushes the door open and steps into the room, looking into all of our pale and waiting faces. The bracelet that was on my wrist until this morning is also gone from hers. My eyes bulge at the sight of her skin, red and crinkled on her hands and wrists and neck. Her hair is short, just brushing her shoulders now, with the longer parts pinned back to hide some of the thinner patches. I know they're there, because they fell out in my hands.
"What's this?" She looks around at us all again, and her eyes widen when they land on my face. Apparently I look worse than I thought. That or she wasn't really expecting me to be sitting here.
"We're not sure." Haymitch answers, looking around our company again and shifting awkwardly next to me. "It appears to be a gathering of the remaining Victors."
"We're all that's left?" Her voice breaks a little as her shoulders sag. Seven of us- not even one from each district. And three of us are from 12.
"The price of celebrity. We were targeted from both sides. The Capitol killed the Victors they suspected of being rebels. The rebels killed those thought to be allied with the Capitol." Beetee pushes his glasses up his nose and drops his gaze to the table, like myself.
"So what's she doing here?" I look up again just in time to see Johanna jabbing her thumb in Enobaria's direction. Yes, she's the odd one out… What is she doing here? Why is she still alive?
The door opens again and the shaft of light from the corridor outside basks us all in a sickly yellow glow. "She is protected under what we call the Mockingjay Deal, wherein Katniss Everdeen agreed to support the rebels in exchange for captured victors' immunity. Katniss has upheld her side of the bargain, and so shall we." Coin steps properly into the office and lets the door swing shut behind her. She crosses the tiled area in a few steps and is suddenly behind the empty chair at the desk. "Sit down please, Katniss."
As Katniss walks to the empty seat between Beetee and Annie, Johanna mutters something like a death threat in Enobaria's direction. She places something on the table- a single white rose.
"I've asked you here today to settle a debate. Shortly, we will execute Snow. In the previous weeks, hundreds of his accomplices in the oppression of Panem have been trailed and now await their deaths. However the suffering in the districts has been so extreme that the victims believe these measures to be insufficient. In the interest of maintaining a sizable population, we can't afford to completely annihilate the entire of the Capitol's population."
I catch Katniss looking at me from across the table, her eyes falling on the burn marks on my hands poking their way out of the edges of the frayed bandages. When I raise my eyes to meet hers, she's staring at my forehead. Of course- the eyebrows haven't fully grown back yet, and my hair is shorter than it used to be. She moves her gaze down and looks me in the eye, but I look quickly over at Coin, avoiding her questioning stare.
"So, an alternative has been placed on the table." With this, she rests her hands atop the dark wood and leans forward, excitement gleaming in her cold, grey eyes. "Since my colleagues and I seem to be unable to come to a consensus, it has been agreed that we will let you- the victors- decide. A majority of four will approve the plan- no one may abstain from the vote." All around, heads nod carefully, slowly. "What has been proposed is that instead of eliminating the entire population of the Capitol, we hold a final, symbolic Hunger Games using the children directly related to those who held the highest power."
The look of shock and in some cases disgust, instantly flits across our faces. Another games?
"What?" Johanna's mouth is wide open, her eyes wide in horror.
Coin straightens her fingers, pushing herself up a few centimetres. "We hold another Hunger Games using Capitol children." Now she stands up straight, tall as if she is proud of this idea. She folds her arms across her chest. She can't be serious…
"Are you joking?" My voice escapes my lips louder than I meant it to, blurting out in almost a shout… nobody deserves this, not even the Capitol.
"No. I should also tell you that if we do hold the Games, it will be known it was done with your approval, although the individual breakdown of your votes will be kept secret for your own security." Her grey face and stern expression bores into me like a drill. She isn't joking. She really, really wants this.
Haymitch rests his hand lightly on the table, leaning forward. "Was this Plutarch's idea?"
"It was mine. It seemed to balance the need for vengeance with the least loss of life. You may cast your votes." She shifts her weight from one foot to the other, her arms still folded. She is serious. She really wants to do this?
Well, my answer is obvious. I can't let her do this- I just can't. Having been through those games twice… well those Capitol kids don't stand a chance. They'll die just like that- and it's not the kids that have done anything wrong. It's their parents. Besides- the point in this war was to stop all this unnecessary violence- wasn't it? "No! I vote no, of course! We can't have another Hunger Games!"
"Why not?" Johanna speaks. Now her, I thought she'd say no. She's been through the Games like I have- she even conspired against the Capitol to bring them to an end… what's she even playing at? "It seems very fair to me. Snow even has a granddaughter. I vote yes." I shake my head at her, incredulous. How dare she?
"So do I. Let them have a taste of their own medicine." Enobaria shrugs, almost like she is bored, like she can't wait to get out of here. I can't just sit here in silence and let yet more people die! No more deaths! I don't want anyone else to die as a result of my failures!
"This is why we rebelled! Remember?" I look over at Annie. Surely she will understand.
"I vote no." She looks at me, her eyes innocent and wide. She knows what the Games do to you, how they destroy you. "So would Finnick, if he were here."
"He isn't here, Annie. Snow's mutts killed him." Johanna says, icily. Her words cut through me like a knife and I bite my lip, gripping the edge of the seat to stop myself from getting up and slapping her.
"No. It would set a bad precedent." Beetee says, running his hand over the stubble on his chin. "We have to stop viewing each other as enemies. Our country is fragile- unity is essential for our survival. No."
Was this what it was like before the Games began? Did they shove a group of people in this very room, discuss how to make the rebels pay for what they did? Did anyone say no? Were they punished? What would have happened if they decided against initiating the Games in the first place?
"Katniss? Haymitch?" Coin raises an eyebrow, glancing between the last two victors. Katniss looks down at the desk, thinking. She chews her lips, gnawing on the inside of her cheek like she always does when she is nervous.
"I vote yes… For Prim." My heart sinks inside me, plummeting through the floor and rolling out into the crowded circle in front of the mansion. I thought she was better than this… more than revenge, more than this hatred. Resentment rises in my throat like vomit, and it stings the same way too. I turn to Haymitch. The vote lies with him. My eyes burn into his cheek, into his neck, into his chest. My hand grips his arm, the burns on my skin pulling and searing with pain as I grip onto him as hard as I can, so hard I swear his eyes are almost watering with the exertion of trying not to react- but he looks only at Katniss.
He stares right at her, examining the watery greyness of her eyes as she tries to communicate silently with him. I don't know what she's trying to tell him though. Say yes, to avenge Prim? Or say no, and redeem himself as a human being? "I'm with the Mockingjay." He says, his voice strained. His gaze drops from hers, and he looks back up at Coin with a forced smile on his lips.