Heheheheh...The length of your wait is totally legit because I was having Separation Anxiety with this story. I have effectively denied the need to finish this for a long time, but then I realized that I had to end this before I go to college. Well, I wouldn't be going to college if I just had a rocketship to launch me to Mars, where Pigfarts is. Their headmaster is a lion. Who can talk. *winkwink Aslan, is that you?* *winkwink Team Starkid*
Anyhoo, that author's note should unconventionally explain the delay. Please continue reading.
"When you suffered it all and your spirit is breaking; you're growing desperate from the fight. Remember you're loved and you always will be." - The Messenger; Linkin Park
Chapter 37
Peace remained in the whole of the Northern regions for the past seven years. As for the lands of Calormen however, well, let's just say that the Northerners preferred not to interfere with their affairs. The young monarchs of Narnia have governed their country with more fervor than ever, and have strengthened their relationship with the surrounding nations, most especially with the Archenlanders. Truly, the Pevensies offered Narnia its golden age.
But one Tuesday morning, the Pevensies and their friends found something to celebrate about other than the consistent peace and justice Narnia experiences. And it was Malric's job to find Edmund and Tawny regarding this celebration. The trusted Chief Patroller, instead, found Queen Lucy and Queen Susan, or rather, than two queens found him and ran up to him with bright smiles on their faces.
"Malric!" Queen Lucy greeted. The coyote bowed down. "Is it about the babies?"
Malric chuckled and nodded his head respectfully. "Yes, your majesty."
Susan clapped her dainty hands together and let out a cry of happiness. "Oh, I absolutely adore babies!"
Lucy giggled and muttered so that only Malric can hear, "Yes, and I hope she'll soon have one. Of course, my choosy sister first needs to find a suitable husba—"
"Are you saying something, Lu?"
The youngest Pevensie straightened up with feigned innocence. "Nope. Nothing at all." She turned to Malric. "So, how are the little ones? How many are they?"
"Triplets, your majesty."
Susan and Lucy beamed in adoration. "I heard Edmund wanted to name one Edmund Jr. if there was any male."
"That would be lovely!" Susan laughed merrily.
"But, in respect, the male was named Eddie instead," Malric continued. "Yesterday noon, Miss Tawny hinted that she preferred the name Eddie than Edmund Jr. She teased that if the male one was named exactly after King Edmund, then he might grow up as pigheaded as him."
Lucy giggled. "Well, I commend Tawny for that clever presumption. Edmund is rather pigheaded."
"I want to see the triplets!" Susan exclaimed.
"They're in the west infirmary, your majesties," Malric said.
Susan held Lucy's hand and said, "Come on, Lu, let's take a look at the babies."
Lucy patted Malric's head and went away with her sister.
Malric continued his search for King Edmund and Lady Tawny, and found them in Edmund's study. The two of them are pouring over a huge thick book sprawled before them on the mahogany table of the room.
"No, you should head northeast if you want to go to the Lizard Cave," Edmund said, pointing to a spot on the book.
"Oh I get it!" Tawny slapped her hand on the table and smiled. She pointed to the end of the page opposite to where Edmund was pointing. "The port is here over the south beside another cave. I thought differently."
"Well, now you know," Edmund grinned at her.
Tawny smiled back and then her attention was caught towards the door, where Malric stood. "Oh hi Malric!"
"Good to see you," Edmund greeted.
"Your majesty," he bowed to Edmund. "M'lady," he bowed to Tawny.
"Did you want something?" Tawny asked.
"I came here to bring news, actually," Malric said with a very warm and proud smile than told Tawny instantly what the news was about.
Her eyes widened and sparkled and she ran and knelt beside her friend. "It's about the babies, isn't it?"
Edmund beamed and neared Malric as well. "Is there an Edmund Jr.?"
Tawny scoffed, "Please tell me no, Malric. I'd like it if it was Eddie instead!"
"Well, there are two boys and a girl—"
"Triplets!" Tawny cried out happily.
"—so my wife and I can name your choices to both of the boys, if that's what you really like."
"That's wonderful! Congratulations!" The young king clapped Malric's back. "And the girl?"
"Adora," replied Malric. "My wife's middle name is Adora and she wanted to name the littlest pup Adora."
"That's beautiful," Tawny smiled sentimentally.
Edmund stood up and said, "I'll bet they would grow up as noble members of the Narnian court just like their father."
The coyote bowed down his head humbly.
"Can we see them?" Tawny asked eagerly.
"You may,"
The three of them headed off towards the infirmary, at the nurse care, where Ysabelline, Malric's wife, and their youngsters, are resting. Susan and Lucy were watching the sleeping pups and conversing in hushed tones with Ysabelline when Malric, Edmund and Tawny arrived. They peered at Malric's family and congratulated the new mother. The doctor of the nurse care politely asked the visitors to leave, for Ysabelline needed more rest.
"Even if the visitors are royalties," said the old doctor as she soaked a towel on warm water. "We need to follow the rules and regulations in this infirmary. I'm sorry, your majesties, but it's for everyone's safety."
They all left, promising to come back on the next visiting hours. Lucy spoke, "Ed, I can't believe you wanted to name one of Malric's sons after you! I mean, don't you think you're doing the cute little pup an unfortunate favor?"
Edmund chuckled.
"Malric," said Tawny. "There's still time to change your mind."
"Don't you want one of them to be named after me?" the young king asked the coyote.
"It's not that, sire," said Malric. "But rather, I think it's much too big of an honour to have your name for my child—"
"Nonsense! You're practically family to us!"
"Indeed," Susan agreed. "You've done so much for us. Oh I feel like an aunt! How does it feel now that you're a father?"
Malric sighed, "It feels wonderful. I can't explain it. I thought I'd never be as happy as the day I was married to Ysabelline."
"Aw, that's lovely," gushed Lucy. "And speaking of marriages…"
"Yeah, Su. When are you getting married?" Edmund teased.
Susan was about to retort but Lucy piped up, "I was indicating you, Edmund!"
Tawny bowed down her head, trying to hide her face as she felt her cheeks go suddenly warm. Edmund glanced at her and cleared his throat uncomfortably. "None of your business, Lucy," he muttered.
All of them laughed, with Tawny and Edmund's exception.
Lucy continued prying, "But you two are going to get married, aren't you?"
"You're twenty-five, for heaven's sake!" said Susan. "What do you say in this, Malric?"
"No comment," Malric said. "Except that I think they should."
"Wonderful," Lucy said cheerfully. "I say democracy wins. You got our votes—"
"Lu, you know I can't until I'm twenty-seven," Edmund said. "It's a code of my knighthood."
"Peter's twenty-eight but he's still not married, although he can," Tawny spoke for the first time since they left the infirmary. "Why don't you make him marry someone?"
"Alas," Susan said dramatically. "He's not in love."
"Anyway, Edmund," interjected Lucy. "You're king! You can do whatever you want. You don't have to make Tawny wait—"
"I don't mind waiting," Tawny said quietly.
"I don't too," said Edmund. "And, Lucy, it's a code of knighthood! Don't you think it's abominable if a king of Narnia breaks an important code made under Aslan's name?"
"I was just goofing off," Lucy chuckled. She then stopped dead on her tracks and exclaimed, "Tomorrow!"
"I am not getting married tomorrow, Lu! Drop it, will you?" Edmund chided. Tawny snorted at how childish Edmund can get.
"You idiot, not that," Lucy scoffed. "Aren't we supposed to go riding in the woods tomorrow? You know, for the hunt of the white stag."
"Oh yeah…" Edmund said slowly.
"Don't worry, Lu," Susan told her little sister. "Our horses are well rested and everything's prepared. The only thing that can delay our hunt for tomorrow is the weather, which I'm sure, will be perfect and sunny tomorrow, as our meteorologists say."
"But, your majesties, the security has not been planned," Malric said.
Lucy answered, "Come on, Malric! It's a Pevensie thing. We're only going hunting. Security is not needed; we'll be fine—"
"But your majesty, we're not going to take any chances—"
"I thought I've stressed out last week that security systems would not be necessary," Peter said behind them as they reached the courtyard.
"High King Peter, my liege," greeted Malric to his king. "I was only offering my services—"
"Now, now, Malric," said Peter gently. "Your family needs you. You mustn't trouble yourself with these kinds of work, alright? You should stay by your wife and kids."
"Have you seen the babies, Pete?" Lucy asked merrily as she looped her arm around her brother's.
"No, unfortunately. I heard about Ysabelline's giving of birth just now and went to the nurse care, but Doctor Farren said the visiting hours were over," Peter said.
"That's too bad. They're so beautiful, but you can see them tomorrow before or after the hunt."
Queen Susan excused herself for she had to make further arrangements for the Women's Project she was going to launch in the Lone Islands for the abused women and children in there. Malric also left to gather round the members of the Patrolling Squad to confirm that the kings and queens would not need the squad's services. Lucy, Peter, Edmund and Tawny, meanwhile, went into the kitchens to have a little snack while continuing on their conversation about the hunt tomorrow.
"Are you sure you're not going, Tawny?" Peter asked.
"It's a Pevensie thing," Tawny reasoned.
Lucy spread jam on a slice of bread and said, "But, basically, you're a Pevensie now."
"Nope," she answered lightly. "Still a Harper."
Edmund gave her a meaningful look, to which Tawny only smiled at. Peter rolled his eyes at his younger brother and clapped him on the back. He whispered in his ear, "Two more years, mate. Two more years."
"She doesn't mind the wait," Edmund muttered to his brother, keeping an eye to Tawny, who was discussing deserts with Lucy. "Tawny and I talked about it. She was honest with me, and said it was okay because she understood the code of knighthood I signed up for. Besides, it doesn't bother us."
"It bothers you."
The younger of the two scoffed and waved his hand impatiently. "It doesn't—"
"Mm-hmm," Peter crossed his arm and chuckled.
"Maybe it does," Edmund resigned. "A little bit."
Peter placed his arm around his brother's shoulder and led him to the farthest side of the room. "She loves you. Very much. I can see that and I'm sure you feel that too, so don't worry. She's not going to find some other bloke. She's not just going to disappear. So it won't really matter how long it will take until you can marry her, alright?"
"Yeah, thanks for the pre-marriage counseling, Love Guru," Edmund punched his brother's arm. He sneaked a look at Tawny's face. She felt Edmund's eyes on her and looked at him too. She smiled at him.
.
"There's still time to join us," Edmund said as he and Tawny fixed his horse's saddle in the Royal Stables.
"You go on ahead," she replied.
"Tawny—"
"I've made up my mind, Ed. Come on, you and I spend most of our time together. Maybe you and your siblings need a little more bonding time, don't you think?" Tawny smiled playfully at him.
Edmund stubbornly clicked his tongue once and rolled his eyes. "Fine, whatever."
She laughed at him and gave the horse a carrot. Lucy and Susan arrived, followed by Peter a few moments. Lucy led her horse out of the stable and turned to Tawny, "Are you really su—"
"Yes, Lucy," Tawny sighed. "I'll stay. It'll be fine."
"Can't change her mind, that one," Edmund muttered to his sister as he passed behind her to return the half-empty sack of carrots inside the stable.
"Besides," Tawny said as a matter-of-factly. "Matron Henders is teaching me how to make her famous duck stew."
Peter laughed like a schoolboy, "That would be dangerous; please don't burn the palace, alright?"
"Peter," Susan reprimanded. She turned to Tawny. "I'm sure it'll be delicious."
Tawny sniggered, "Well, that makes one of us."
They all made their final preparations and mounted their horses, except for Edmund, who remained beside Tawny. "I'll catch up," he motioned to the others to go on first.
Peter had this amused expression on his face as he urged his horse forward. Edmund scowled at him and faced Tawny. He breathed deeply.
"Something wrong?" she asked, her fingers laced between his.
"No," he said. "But I'll come back."
Tawny snorted. "Stop being dramatic and get your arse on that horse."
She shoved him playfully and stepped back. He grinned, leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the lips.
"I'll be expecting that duck stew to be excellent," he said quietly. He mounted his horse and glanced back at her. "Because when I come home, I'll be extremely famished."
"I'm not making any promises," she shrugged and watched him as he slowly made his way off.
Tawny smiled sentimentally and headed back to the palace. She went to the infirmary to visit Ysabelline and her pups. The babies were suckling from their mother and when Tawny arrived, they all ran around their mother with an energy that creatures their young age can only muster. Ysabelline explained that Malric just left minutes ago to fix reconnaissance schedules. Tawny played with the young coyotes while talking casually with Ysabelline. When the babies were tired, they snuggled close to their mother, who was thinking aloud what would happen when they finally be able to talk; they would definitely make a lot of racket, what, with all their energy and enthusiasm. But Tawny is sure that the three of them would grow up noble and of great service to Narnia just like Malric and Ysabelline, who was also a member of the Patrolling Squad of Cair Paravel.
Once the babies were yawning and cuddling close to their mother's body, their eyes heavy, Tawny thought of telling them tales of their father's adventures. She was not sure they understood her stories, but Ysabelline listened with great admiration for her husband. Eddie, Edmund Jr. and Adora all fell asleep in the middle of Tawny's narration. Ysabelline softly laughed when Tawny realized that her three young listeners were already slumbering. She, then, decided to leave Malric's wife to rest with her pups. Tawny politely excused herself and headed straight to the kitchens.
It was still too early for Madam Henders to teach her how to cook duck stew, but she waited there all the same. She played with a couple of oranges, tried to juggle them, and then gave up, thinking herself silly. Imagine if someone saw a courtier such as herself acting like that. But then again, it wouldn't have bothered her. She had stayed long enough in Cair Paravel that everyone got used to her antics. Tawny sat still, her right hand under her chin, and her left hand rolling an orange to and fro the mahogany table. It sure has been a long time. And all of them have grown a lot.
Peter grew wiser and wiser every decision he makes as a king. But he acted not only as a king, but also as a brother and a friend, sometimes even like a father, which Lucy has always teased him about. He was dedicated to his kingdom so much that he was still unable to choose himself a suitable wife, which hasn't really bothered him at all.
It was the same case with Susan, she's not been able to find herself a husband, although many distant and neighbouring kingdoms has offered her lands and treasures just to have her hand in marriage. Too bad for her gallant suitors, however, because Susan felt like she wasn't ready for anything that serious after her encounter with Rabadash. Instead, she spent her time going on missions to help the poor and abused. And it was really what made her happy, but, she cannot deny, that sooner or later, she has to get married. She promised to herself that she would only marry someone she loved, and that helped her go by.
Lucy, meanwhile, proved herself to be a generous and elegant lady, like her older sister, and at the same time, a determined and responsible sovereign. She has made time to accompany Susan with their missionary trips and other charitable events, and social gatherings, and also she managed to join Peter with expeditions across lands and seas, where in they stretch their territory, not by means of violence, but by means of peaceful and honest agreements. They have also exploited evil doings. Lucy has also been invited to other kingdoms by princes and princesses, for she was such a charming and delightful companion that everyone fell right to her in good terms.
Edmund, he was always sought for because of his wise judgments, being the Chief Justice of the High Court. He had eradicated his bad habit of making rash decisions, and had turned into a trustworthy judge. He mostly stayed in Narnia, for the court always had a need of him, but now and then, he would join in voyages and trips abroad. Everyone teased him about marriage, as his relationship with Tawny was often under everybody's eye, but he made it clear that he has no plan of nuptials until he is twenty-seven because of his knighthood. Which, truthfully, was alright with Tawny. She didn't really mind for she was not in a hurry. And she was satisfied with her position in the Narnian court, serving as an official counsel, especially in the area of the balance between almoners and their beneficiaries. She was also Narnia's ambassador against slave trade in the Lone Islands.
Tawny was happy with the pace and place of everything. She remained in close contact with Dorelle and Ezron, sending them letters and simple presents every now and then. The couple meanwhile, returned Tawny's long distant affections by sending her letters as well, and a couple of sacks of their harvest. Tawny insisted that they did not need to, but Dorelle resisted, saying it was also a symbolism of friendship they have for the Northerners.
Everything was definitely peaceful. Lord Peridan adopted Kashmir, the slave boy Edmund saved from Calormen years ago. The two of them served Cair Paravel for a few years, until Prince Corin invited Kashmir to be in his court, which Kashmir agreed to. It was no problem with the Narnian monarchs, although they were very fond of Kashmir. Lord Peridan, after a few months, followed his adopted son to Archenland, after Susan urged him to, seeing he was longing for the boy like a real father yearns for his son. The Narnians have also been invited to a few events held in Archenland, for example, Corin and Cor's knighthood, Aravis' celebration after her official citizenship in Archenland, and many more, being Aravis and Cor's engagement the most recent.
"How come Aravis and Cor get to be engaged together while Cor is not nearly two years since his knighthood?" Lucy wondered while eyeing Edmund mischievously.
Edmund only rolled his eyes and said, "His code of knighthood is different from mine, since he is first born and next in line for his father's throne. And isn't it Archenland tradition to be married as early as eighteen?"
Tawny didn't notice she dozed off, being lulled by her reminiscing, when Madame Henders went in, carrying a basket of herbs and spices and exclaiming, "Goodness me, child! You have waited all this time for me?"
She sat up groggily and smiled, "I couldn't wait for the cooking lesson…"
"Well, let's begin, shall we?"
And so they started. Tawny barely paid attention to what she was doing, resulting to recurring mistakes and mental cussing. But good thing that Madame Henders was a patient old woman. After two hours of doing and re-doing the dish, the duck stew was finished.
.
It was already past eight in the evening, but the Pevensies weren't back yet. At first, I annoyed Tawny, because she was getting hungry and the stew was getting cold, but she was gradually realizing that the situation seemed far more serious that what she thought. It got Malric worried, but Tawny, who was still in denial, insisted that they might have been having much fun to return.
"Maybe too much fun," the coyote said under his breath.
But Tawny was feeling anxious, as well. Several minutes before nine, she and the Royal Advisers, with Sallowpad's leadership, decided to send horsemen to the Western Woods to search for them. Tawny sent a letter to Mr. Tumnus and Mr. and Mrs. Beaver through an eagle, asking whether the Pevensies are with them, and when the eagle returned with their replies, she found out that their Narnian friends didn't spot any of the young monarchs.
Malric's patrolling squad rounded the location after two horsemen returned with no news of Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy's whereabouts, other than finding their horses in Lantern Waste, abandoned completely. It was nearly eleven when Tawny decided to mount her own horse and join the search team, but Sallowpad advised her to stay. It was very unlike of the kings and queens to act this way; something was definitely wrong, and it was agonizing to Tawny about it. She dared not get a wink of sleep, and even if she did try, she wouldn't anyway; her nerves where at its peak. It was the break of dawn when the advisers sent a letter to King Lune of Archenland, which he immediately answered. The four rulers where not in Archenland, and the Archenland king proposed to have his patrollers join the search team.
By morning, everyone in Narnia knew that their rulers where missing without a trace. Some suspected abduction, and it was the Cair Paravel court's worst fear. Neighboring kingdoms received the news, and none of them seem to have abducted the kings and queens, but the Royal Advisers issued an investigation all the same, which was, fortunately, welcomed by the other kingdoms.
Tawny found herself helpless and on the verge of tears, but held back, showing a strong demeanor to anyone who goes to her. Everyone seemed to have taken orders from her and the advisers, as they were the closest to the Pevensies, but Tawny's fear and desperation prevented her from sending orders, and so she rested the responsibility to the counsel. All of them found time to pray to Aslan, asking for the kings and queens best conditions, wherever they were. Tawny couldn't take it any longer, and by sunset, she joined the patrollers who were set to round the area of the Western Woods again. It was a losing battle by the time they went back to the palace. Sallowpad requested Tawny to rest in her chamber, as she was up stressing for more than twenty-four hours.
Tawny didn't want to, but realized that she couldn't choke back on her tears any longer, and that she was purely exhausted. She went to her room, passing by a mirror on the way; she saw herself and she looked like a mess. She was pale and there were dark bags under her bloodshot and droopy eyes. She climbed on her bed after locking the door, and sobbed her heart out. The painful lump in her throat she was swallowing painfully for the past hours was gone with relief, but the rock in her chest was not. She fervently prayed to Aslan that her Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy where alright, and soon to return.
How she wished Edmund was beside her, telling her that everything is fine, telling her that when she would wake up in the morning tomorrow, everything will be back to normal. And she fell asleep with that prayer.
Tawny was falling, and she knew she was going to die, but she was not scared at all. Not until she looked up from where she fell and saw Edmund, reaching out his hand, screaming her name. At that moment, Tawny became scared. But then everything faded and she found herself face down on the grassy ground. She pushed herself up and looked around. She was in her chamber. She was only dreaming. And then she cried again. After that, she wasn't able to have much sleep.
.
The search for the Narnian monarchs had been going on for almost a week now. They were double-checking every nook and cranny, but everyone was becoming hopeless, especially Tawny. The Narnian court was doing everything they can, and they were avoiding all discussions as to who would reign if the kings and queens somehow did not return. A few whisperings have been surrounding, saying that Tawny Harper was to be elected as a regent, as she was legally eligible, but others did not entirely approved, saying that she seemed too weak to run a whole country in the dismal absence of its true rulers. Tawny did not care; she simply wanted the Pevensies to return. She didn't want to be the regent.
The whole week's pressure of searching dawned on her. The Narnian court was in a chaos. Arguments have been flying around, and she seemed useless in the midst of it. She felt like she was not helping in any way. Instead of collaborating and cooperating with each other, the courtiers and the counselors were fighting amongst each other, already talking about who should serve regent. Those who remained loyal to the kings and queens suggested that Tawny should be elected along with other few Narnians most trusted by the Pevensies to be in a regency council, but those whose greed surfaced, disagreed with such council and suggested differently.
Before the sun could even rise, exactly nine days since the Narnian kings and queens went missing, Tawny already got up and wandered aimlessly around the palace until she passed by the Royal Stables, where Gregory, her horse, stood, looking intently at her, as if it knew what she was thinking. The dark sky was already coloring a tinge of gold. Tawny made up her mind. She went back to her bedroom, and put on the hooded cloak Edmund gave her seven years ago, the night they were escaping Calormen. It was repaired by dryads, being torn and stained with blood and mud during the Battle at Anvard. It was Tawny's favorite, even though it brought violent memories.
She pulled the hood over her head and trudged on quickly towards the stables, where she mounted Gregory and set off away. She galloped as fast as she dared, her tears streaming away, blown by the wind. After long and miserable minutes, she reached the Lantern Waste. Her eyes ached from the harsh wind and her lips were chapped. She sniffed and dismounted Gregory, looking at the lamp post curiously. She touched it and closed her eyes, then looking around.
"Peter!" she shouted, as if the High King would hear her. "Susan!"
Her lips trembled. "Lucy!"
No response came. Her eyes got hot and heavy. Gregory neighed.
"Ed—Edmund!" Her voice cracked into a whisper. She found herself crying helplessly again, leaning on the lamp post for support. Her sobs sounded through the forest. "Please come back," she breathed in despair. And in a louder voice, she called out, "Come back!"
Tawny didn't want any of this. She just wanted her family back.
She called out there names again, hysterically. She slid down to the ground and buried her face in her cold hands, sobbing for the family she loved. She never wanted to feel this again, that sense of loss, like she had no one, like she had no family. That moment, she knew that Peter, Susan, Lucy and Edmund were never going back. She didn't know how, but she just knew, and if it meant she'll be alone again, like how she had felt lifetimes ago, when she was the gypsies' slave (and it seemed like she felt like that even before), then she wanted to leave. She wanted to leave Narnia, and go back to that place she can't remember, maybe when she's back there, she can't remember this place, Narnia, and all the pain would be gone. She has given up, and continued to cry.
And that's when she felt it.
That warm gust of wind that was so unnatural she knew it was something to be aware of. She stood up, running to Gregory, and unsheathing the dagger she kept in her saddle. Gregory became tensed, and then the wind blew again, seeming to whisper something and causing the trees to look alive. It spooked the horse, and it galloped away after letting out a panicked neigh. Tawny clutched the dagger and stood still, listening for snapping of twigs or footsteps.
The sky, which was golden as the sun had risen completely, suddenly was covered with clouds, looking as if a light downpour would occur. She spun around slowly when she felt something warm behind her.
It was Aslan.
Tawny choked on her tears; she didn't know what to do. She felt ashamed, scared and relieved.
"You're giving up?" Aslan said calmly.
She sniffed and dropped the dagger on the ground depressingly. She looked down on her feet, not able to meet Aslan in the eyes.
"My child…"
It pained Tawny to hear his tone; he sounded disappointed, also like it hurt him, and it did.
"Why give up this easily?" the Great Lion continued. "I have given you what you need. I have provided for you. All your hardships in the past years, everything that crossed your path, it was all led to what you have now. It made you a better person, stronger, but what is this? You are giving up?"
"It's not the same before—"
"Tell me."
"I—it's different."
Aslan sighed and moved beside her. Tawny dared not move or look up. "My child, the only thing different from then to now is your will. Perhaps, you have forgotten how much strength you have."
She grimaced. "I can't continue on like this. It's only been a week, yes, but I—I can't just….they have to be here—"
"You are scared? You doubt?"
Tawny looked up indignantly, "They're nominating me to be in the regency council! I don't want that! I know I'll just get…I'll get devoured in there! I don't stand a chance! Not when I have nobody! They're gone, and I know they're not coming back!" She was trying hard to keep her voice even; it was a losing battle.
"Nobody?" Aslan said. "You have nobody?" He roared so loud that the trees shook and the wind blew hard. Tawny flinched, but Aslan's roar did not hurt her ears, as she expected. "You have everyone you could ever need. Malric and his family, Dorelle and Ezron, and the friends you have met in Archenland. Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy, they're not really gone, Tawny—"
"I just can't," Tawny whispered feebly, her eyes brimming with tears once more. "I'm sorry; I'm scared—"
"You have me," Aslan offered gently. "You always do. Everyone will come and go, but I will stay. I will never leave and I will never die. My love is constant and eternal. Why fear?"
Tawny sniveled and brought her hands to her face.
"I will never let you down. I won't ever put you in danger. And I will absolutely never let you encounter something you can't handle and overcome. All I ask is your trust."
His words brought comfort to her soul, but she already chose which path she wanted. Aslan knew what she was thinking; he breathed on her. Tawny's tears dried and her blurry vision cleared. She looked at the lion and held her breath.
"But you have already decided, haven't you?" Aslan said solemnly. "Remember that I have given you the power of choice, and you must exercise it with great caution."
Tawny nodded.
"But let me ask you," Aslan began. "Why do you want to do this?"
She was momentarily taken aback. "But, you know the answer to that already."
He smiled kindly, "Yes, but you don't."
Tawny thought, and then said, more to herself, "I'm scared. Of what would happen here. I'm—" she swallowed. She felt ashamed and completely disgusted to herself for finally admitting it aloud. "I want to…escape."
"But do you think that would make anything else better?"
She bit her lip. No, of course it won't. Aslan placed his huge paw on her shoulder for an infinitesimal second, and then dropped it, proceeding to circle her. He stopped in front of her. Tawny laid her eyes upon that magnificent face with all her courage. "I hope you do not regret what you have chosen. But know this: I am always…always looking after you."
Tawny bowed her head, and then when she looked up, Aslan was gone, and so where the trees and the lamp post and the sky. But the strong gusts of wind remained. Then she realized she was falling, until she hit the ground.
Tawny Harper opened her eyes; she was lying face down on the dusty earth. She rolled to her side and pushed herself up using her elbows. She looked around dizzily, and felt very different, in fact, too different. She felt something on her left wrist and flinched, only to discover it was a silver bracelet. She looked at herself; her stockings were soiled and dust and mud clung to her old dress. She stood up, checking for broken bones in her tiny twelve-year-old body, wondering how on earth she landed herself inside a chasm. And then she remembered.
It all came in a quick flash of images. Narnia, Calormen, Archenland. Peter, Susan, Lucy and Edmund. Malric. Dorelle. Levina. Rabadash. Corin. King Lune. Lord Peridan. Ezron. Aravis. Shasta. Hashreen. Kashmir. The Royal Advisers. The gypsies. Even Gregory.
Everything. It was real. It was all real. She clambered her way out from the underground opening and found that it was already getting dark. She ran inside the orphanage, surprising the nuns, who worked in the orphanage, because of her disheveled appearance. The nuns didn't bother to ask questions, and let her clean herself up. Tawny stared at herself on the mirror in the bathroom, remembering the things she has been through in that other place. What she remembered the most was telling Aslan that she was giving up. She tried to push away any emotion she was about to feel, because she was afraid that one of them might be the regret that Aslan firmly pointed out he never wanted for her to feel. But Tawny easily remembered the happiness she experienced with her friends, and she was satisfied.
It had been a day since the Pevensies went back from the wardrobe. They found themselves excitedly talking about Narnia every moment they got, but also feeling a little bit sad about leaving it. Someone was feeling a little sadder than anybody else, however; Edmund can't help thinking about a special friend he met in Narnia, wondering what happened to her.
"Edmund," Lucy chimed in during their early supper with Professor Kirke (fortunately, Mrs. Macready was on a day off and won't be back after sunset). "Is something wrong?"
The young dark-haired boy looked up. "I'm fine…Nothing's wrong." He continued playing with his fork and the untouched broccolis on his plate, his mind, once again, drifting away with his friend's face.
Months have passed. Tawny was still very unpopular with the other orphans in St. Victoria's, but she didn't mind. The memory of past adventures entertained her. She grew more confident, and she was not scared at all to defend herself when the other children bullied her. In general, she was getting along better than before inside the orphanage. Only, she still felt incomplete. She still had that void only the love of a family could feel. But her faith kept her going. She remembered what Aslan told her verbatim. It was enough to have her continue on the path she chose.
Then one day…
"Harper," one of the nuns called out in the bedroom Tawny shared with eleven other girls. "Someone wants to see you."
Tawny followed the nun, into the lounge of the orphanage, where a couple, who looked like they were on their fifties, was standing, smiling warmly at her. The nun nodded at her encouragingly, and then they were introduced.
Next thing she knew, she was adopted.
After all the adoption papers were settled, along with the other documentation, the kind old Mrs. and Mrs. Lawrence brought her to her new home in the countryside. Tawny never felt happier than ever, but she couldn't help herself to ask curiously, "How come you chose me? Why did you adopt me?"
Mrs. Lawrence sat on her squashy chair by the fire and put on her spectacles after pulling a book out from the nearby shelf. "What do you mean, dear?"
Tawny earnestly answered, "Well, I'm twelve. Almost thirteen. Usually, couples would adopt younger kids."
Mr. Lawrence, who was prodding the firewood in the fireplace, knelt up, clapped dust from his hands and chuckled. He glanced merrily at his wife, who had this kind and amused expression on her face, and then looked at Tawny. She couldn't resist returning his warm smile.
"Hmm," Mr. Lawrence finally replied. "Maybe, I guess…we are just not one of the usual couples." he shrugged and stood up. "And I do hope you're not one of the usual children."
Tawny chuckled and shook her head, "No I'm not, I guess."
"Fair enough," Tawny's adoptive father approved. "Now, who wants tea?"
Yes, Aslan really was always looking after her.
You have to be absolutely brutal now, since it's the last chapter, and I haven't proofread this (just like almost all of the other chapters). I just wrote it and chucked it on the uploader.
I hoped you enjoyed the adventure. Honestly, this was my first multi-chaptered fic and Tawny was my first OC, so naturally, I was pretty much clueless with what I was writing. I planned the first parts of this story, but then the characters suddenly decided to interfere and make their own course. So, if you liked it or disliked it, it's okay. But I hope you liked it. And I'm afraid I may have over- and under-analyzed a lot of stuff in here.
Now that we have moved on, I'm not sure yet when the sequel will be up, as I am spazzing out with my HP fics, some of them multi-chaptered, a lot unpublished, therefore, cluttering my already chaotic brain. But, please, when I do, I hope you'll still be interested.
I love you for reading.
Apologies for the wrong grammars and spellings.