A/N: I bet no one was expecting this to show up on their alert list! But more seriously, my apologies for how HORRENDOUSLY LONG it has been since I updated. If it's any consolation, I have re-written this chapter in at least 12 different ways. This iteration, in fact, took me about a month to finally feel OK with. I hope you enjoy! As always, leave a comment, etc. Thank you all for your support, enthusiastic comments, and your endless patience with my terribly unreliable updates.

And of course I don't own Divergent, the characters or anything else.

Zeke

I've trained my entire life to win at hand-to-hand combat, yet here I stand with a gun pressed to my temple by an Erudite. Granted, Caleb was born Dauntless so I don't feel as bad but he's also probably my least favorite Erudite other than Jeanine, so there's that.

Ri's gun is pointed at him though I can tell by the look in her eye that she doesn't have a clean shot. Despite her skill level, she could very well hit me along with him. My blood runs cold with terror at the idea of potentially being shot or dying and moreover, the potential guilt it would cause her if it were by her hand.

My god, this could be the end.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Four hit a couple remaining keys and start edging toward us. Caleb yells angrily from behind me, the barrel of the gun pressing uncomfortably into my temple more. I brace myself for the quick death that I anticipate.

At least killing me will distract Caleb long enough for Ri to shoot him so he can't hurt anyone else.

Ri's gun goes off and Caleb's grasp drops from me. This is my chance, and I immediately set about disarming Caleb. Our scuffle is short-lived as a bang soon rings out, followed by a searing sensation tearing through my side.

The floor hurdles toward me. Once on my back I try to recall what I can of my rudimentary emergency medicine training. My hands press to my side, trying to slow the blood loss. Somewhere in the distance I hear Ri's voice calling to me. My vision is blurred but I can see her above me. She seems so distant.

This can't be how it ends. That fucking bastard threatens everyone I care about and this is what happens? At least Uriah and Ri are safe; that's the important thing. It's all I wanted. No one in my family or of my friends will be hurt in this. I fulfilled what I set out to do so it's OK if this is the end. I can die if it means they're safe.

Vaguely I hear her trying to order me to stay awake. I almost want to laugh at how stubborn she is, even now. My bright, sweet and stubborn sister who thinks she can order death away from me.

Four appears next to Ri as well.

Four.

The person I spent so much time being jealous of because of the place he occupies in Ri's heart. It seems so foolish now that I was ever angry or jealous. Those missed moments when I could have been reveling in the joy of my family and their happiness but instead insisted on spending them in selfish bitterness and faulty pity seem ridiculous to me now. With my death he'll need to help Amar watch out for them. And whether she wants to admit it or not, Ri will need him to help her through my death.

I can't leave them without them both knowing my foolishness has passed. Mustering what feels like Herculean strength, I grab on to his arm. Good, now I have his attention.

"Don't…let…anything happen…to them, Four."

There. It's done and it's OK if I'm gone now. Mom and Amar will understand. Uriah and Shauna will forgive me in time and eventually all of them will make Ri finally see why this was the right thing.

The world is spinning faster; maybe time is speeding up, too. My eyelids, they become heavier by the moment, as though someone is slowly pouring concrete into them, forcing them shut and harder to open each passing second. I don't want to fight it anymore, even though I know Ri wants me to do that. Instead I give in to unconsciousness, ignoring the other sounds around me.

It's almost pleasant in the darkness, but I can't seem to let go all of the way.

I ache for the loss of them, the memories. What could have been slips through my fingers and suddenly I am left just with what won't ever be. It's devastating though simultaneously I'm at peace with this reality. The duality wars within me, one trying to establish dominance over the other to no avail; only constant, futile grappling deep in my soul.

I'll never really know how the story ends. I'll never see it. Every instance to which I would have been a witness will not include me now. My image will fade from their memories like an old picture left out too long in the sun; much like the memory of my father's face feels blurry and distant to me, as did Caleb's over time, though the latter's treachery will live on forever in everyone's minds.

Will that be what becomes of me? When my face appears as a blank sheet in their minds' eyes, will they instead remember some enduring quality, some fantastical moment that transcends space, time, and even, perhaps, logic? Will it be truthful or will it become distorted and embellished with well-intentioned affection?

The truth of Ezekial Pedrad's future will die with me. As was always to be the case, I suppose.

I hear someone saying my name softly, almost pleadingly, and it feels so far away from me. I focus on it, trying to make sense of it until it becomes clearer so I can decipher its sounds and words.

Ri.

Her words are blurred by audible tears. The words barely matter anyway; the sound of her voice—lost and broken—is what does.

"Come back to us, Ezi. I know I insist that I don't need your help or protection or anything like that, but I'm not sure how to do any of this without you. I don't. Since the moment I became your sister you, Uriah, Amar and Mom have been the foundation I've relied on—you especially.

I can't imagine my life without you in it. I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through and I'm sorry that I didn't protect you from Caleb when you've spent so much of your life protecting me. I swear if you'll just wake up, I'll make sure nothing ever hurts you again—not even me.

I love you. Please just…just wake up." The last words are barely a whisper, which tugs painfully on my heart.

Since Ri first came home with us, I've devoted much of my conscious—and probably unconscious—thought to protecting her from any pain or danger. Never would I have imagined that the reason she would sound so heartbroken would be on account of me. I cannot bear the idea. That is a responsibility that I will not assume. I refuse to let this be how the end of Ezekial Pedrad's story reads.

Nobody could have prepared me for how difficult and exhausting it would be to just do the simple act of opening an eyelid—something that I feel was an oversight in the initiation curriculum. I'll have to bring that to Four's attention later. Nevertheless, I focus all of myself on this one— usually simple— task. By the time I've forced one and then the other open just enough to take in the harsh lights of the room and the blurry figure of my golden haired sister, I want to instantly close them so I can take a nap to compensate for the effort. Keeping them open each second feels as though it's aging me years.

"They're going to take away your ranking if you keep crying all of the time."

Her eyes look up at me startled, whether it's because of the rough shape of my voice or at the existence of it at all, I'm unsure. The spark of happiness that I see in them, however, reminds me that I just don't care.

"Ezi!"

There's hair suddenly across my face and the force of her body flung over mine. With the small amount of energy and muscle I still have from however long I've been here, I use them to hold her to me as tightly as I can manage. I can feel the bruises over my abdomen, and what I suspect are stitches, protesting under the new weight.

"Good to see you, too." She pulls back to look at me and I don't bother suppressing the grin that I can feel stretching my cheeks until I feel as though my face will split. "How long have I been napping, anyhow?"

"Almost four weeks. Everyone thought that—" her voice breaks off abruptly and she casts her eyes toward the wall before finally clearing her throat. "Everyone thought that you weren't going to wake up. I even started to worry—"

"But I'm awake, Ri. It's fine."

Before I can continue, Janet enters the room, happy to see me on this side of consciousness again, apparently. Ri quickly slides off the bed and out of Janet's way while she examines me. She glances at the many monitors I seem to be plugged in to before addressing me.

"You're lucky, you know. They got you to the infirmary just in time to do surgery on you and keep you from bleeding out immediately. Your injuries were severe, though, so no one really knew when you'd wake up. But I'll leave you two to talk. I'll go call Hana and the others to make sure they know you're awake now. They'll be happy to hear it." Janet pats my hand before she quickly exits, closing the door behind her.

"Where is everyone, anyway?"

"At work or sleeping. We've been visiting you in shifts to make sure that there was someone here when you woke up. Uriah was here for a long time, but Amar and I made him leave to take a nap. Four's been covering most of the leadership duties while I've been here."

"Covering the leadership duties? I don't understand."

"Oh Ezi, there's a lot you've missed."

I motion for her to come back and lay next to me on the bed. Once she's settled tucked into my side the way she would for years when we were still children, growing up in the same apartment, I know whatever has happened will be fine as long as it means that my little sister is still here with me.

"Give me the abridged version for now."

"Jeanine was executed after being tried at Candor."

"That's not terribly surprising."

"Max is dead and Caleb is set to be executed tomorrow."

The words rush out of her mouth so quickly that it takes me a moment to comprehend them. By the time I do, she's buried her face in the crook of my neck.

"I don't even think I want to ask about that just now. So who's leading the faction?"

"Four, Harrison, and…me."

She falls silent after barely whispering the last word of her statement. It doesn't surprise me that she would be the person to ascend into leadership—even this early— or that Four would be made a permanent part of it, especially in light of what has happened. In fact, my reaction is exactly the opposite as my heart swells with pride for both my best friend and for my beloved baby sister. Mostly for my baby sister.

"Then the faction is making better decisions now than it was before I was unconscious. If that's what happens when I get knocked out for a little while then I should make a more regular habit of it."

"Don't joke about that Ezi." When I look over at her, her face holds the same painfully serious face it did on the day of my Choosing Ceremony as she worried that I would leave my faction and my family behind.

It's enough to make me practically fall to pieces.

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere. Don't you worry about any of that. If getting shot by Caleb can't get rid of me, nothing can." I pull her into me a little bit more, "but let's not worry about that right now. I'm tired and you look like you are, too, so let's take a nap before Mom, Uri, and everyone else turns up to be loud and over emotional."

So it's with her tucked under my wing and knowing that she's safe that I fall back in to the abyss. It's much shorter this time, however, and my room is practically packed to the brim when I re-emerge from hibernation. I try to ignore how people's faces are pinched with worry and darkened by the obvious lack of sleep.

"Wow, you guys look so bad that I'm not sure who in this room was actually shot anymore."

Nervous laughter meets my awkward joke, but it's all enough to unleash the barrage of relieved words and flurries of updates on everything I've missed. Everyone is only there for about an hour, probably, but it feels like more. With each minute I feel the desperate heaviness of fatigue settling in to my limbs, muscle by muscle.

I can hear Amar quietly begin suggesting that folks begin leaving so I can rest more— that I am still recovering and will need to gradually build up my strength and stamina again. Individually, each person seems to be moved by his words and begin heading toward the room door. Most of them are gone about twenty minutes later, leaving only Mom, Uri, Ri, Amar, and Four in the room. Even Shauna has left with Lauren at her suggestion.

"Get some rest, Sweetheart, so you can get out of here and come home soon." Mom places a careful kiss on my cheek as if she's worried she'll somehow hurt me otherwise.

"Thanks, Mom, I will. Though I think I'll go back to my apartment after I get out of here."

She looks dissatisfied with this reply. "You'll need someone to take care of you for a while, Ezekial." She opens her mouth to continue but then stops herself, falling quiet for a few seconds. "We'll talk about this later. For now, just rest."

She turns and begins to walk out, squeezing Ri's and Uri's hands on her way. Amor gives her shoulder and encouraging pat as she passes him.

"Alright, Ezi, Mom's right— you need rest. I'll come see you in the morning, OK?" I nod at Ri, studying her face and memorizing it, even though I know that she will absolutely be here when I wake up.

She kisses me on the cheek, much like Mom did a moment earlier before turning on her heel. Uri offers a quick hug and a clap on the shoulder before he follows her out of the room. Part of me wonders if they're going to retreat to their old room in Mom's apartment for twin time now that I'm awake. It seems like something they would do in a moment like this. Four's eyes follow Ri and I can tell he's debating whether to follow her.

"Four, can you stay for a moment?" I raise my voice a little to say it, wanting to ensure that my voice breaks through the cloud that always comes over his eyes, and undoubtedly his mind, whenever he looks at Ri.

Something that looks like fear flashes over his eyes when he looks back at me. Slowly, he nods; Amar chuckles at our interaction.

"Glad you're awake Ezekial. Now it's time to go back to sleep but try not to let it be for four weeks this time, OK? I don't think any of us want to deal with that again, even if you're less annoying while unconscious." Amar addresses me from the foot of the bed before heading out, leaving Four and looking at each other.

It's awkward to begin what I want to say; instead I clear my throat, hoping that for some reason the action will supply me with a good place to start. It doesn't and the silence stretches out between us, quickly becoming oppressive with its weight. It's probably best to just dive in to it full force.

"What happened to Max?"

"Tris gave him a choice and he chose one of them: the chasm."

I flinch for a moment thinking about it before I remember I shouldn't really care about the death of someone who was so willing to play a major role in causing the deaths of thousands of other. If anything, Max did us a public service. Oddly enough, his last act was the first one that he had done in a long time that was truly in the interest of our faction. Asking after Max's fate, however, wasn't the real reason that I wanted to talk to Four; it was just a momentary distraction.

"I wanted to say thank you for taking care of them. I knew you would, even if I didn't ask you to do it. It's just who you are."

"They're like family to me, Zeke." His pained expression almost hurts me to see. The fact that I doubted my best friend at one point presses heavy guilt on me.

"I'm sorry for what I said the night before our attack." I clear my throat again and drop my gaze to my blanket. "I know you meant it when you told me you love her. And I know that to you that makes her and the rest of us part of your family." I look back up at him and hold his gaze, hoping this is enough to impart on him how genuinely I mean what I'm about to say. "But it also makes you part of our family, too. For Ri that means something a little different than it does for the rest of us, but I don't mind. I'm happy for both of you and I'm glad that it's you who she loves."

"I don't know that she loves me, Zeke."

"She does. I know my little sister and she clearly loves you, even if she hasn't told you yet. Don't doubt it." I stare at him, the two of us silently facing off. "That's all I wanted to tell you. Something about getting shot and facing your own mortality puts everything in perspective. There are much worse things that could happen than my little sister falling for someone I know she can trust and who will be good to her."

"Thanks, Zeke."

We both nod at the other before Four turns to leave as the others did earlier. I watch his back retreat into the hallway before my eyes begin to slide closed and I allow myself to sleep once more.

All is right in the world, it seems.

A/N: This isn't quite the end- just an epilogue to go.