The Science of Love

by Darcyfitz1

One cottage. Two Strangers. Three weeks. What could possibly go wrong?

38. Chapter 38

A/N – To everyone who is reading this story, has favorited it, or has followed it…thank you. It has been a joy writing it. I'm sorry for the long wait between updates the last few weeks. I've been ill for months, and most of my energy (mental and physical) has been zapped. I hope that I've answered everyone's review. If not, please know that I appreciate each and every one. Thank you to those who have emailed or PM'd to check on me. I promise, I haven't abandoned the story and I will finish it. After this chapter, there will be one more chapter plus an epilogue. Please have patience. I'm going through a lot physically at present and writing has been difficult. Thank you.

Disclaimer: I own nothing of The Big Bang Theory. This is for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement intended. Original characters such as Andrew Prince, Harvey Watson, Adam Fowler, Phillip Corbin, and Chaucer are mine, though.

~Chapter 38~

"…There is nobility in compassion, a beauty in empathy, a grace in forgiveness…"

-John Connolly

"Amy…we have to talk."

Amy gazed at Sheldon blankly, certain that all of the blood had drained from her face. It pooled somewhere south of her heart, simultaneously turning her limbs to jelly and her stomach to ice.

In all of the time that she had known Sheldon, even when he was going through the worst personal struggles with dealing with his past, he hadn't ever said those words to her. Or in that tone of voice. The tenor of it, distant and resigned, was like cold water being thrown in her face.

The implications of such a statement shattered the serene bubble that she'd been in for the last few months. Everything in her life since she and Sheldon had returned from Texas had been perfect. Work, her relationship with Sheldon, the fact that Drew had now relocated and lived so close by…perfect.

Too perfect, perhaps?

She had been floating on a high for months, reveling in having everything that she'd ever wanted. The most important and top of that list being the love of a man such as Sheldon. Like Icarus, she had allowed herself to climb to heights that were exhilarating and dangerous.

Yet Amy was no fool. She knew that once you reached a glass ceiling, there was nothing else to do but shatter it. The only problem with glass ceilings, was that they could cut you to shreds once you broke through them.

She opened her mouth, a tiny burst of air coming out. No words followed, and she cleared her throat which suddenly felt as dry as sandpaper.

"Talk?" She finally rasped, stumbling over her tongue. The one syllable seemed to take forever as it made its way up her throat and out through her lips.

Sheldon nodded in slow motion. His face looked guarded, and Amy felt a chill work its way up her spine.

"Yes." He answered, his voice equally strained. The slight Southern lilt that she had always found charming sounded odd and desperate now.

Making matters even more alarming, was the fact that his beautiful blue eyes mirrored a myriad of emotions.

Compassion.

Fear.

Guilt…

It was the guilt that nagged at her, sending her mind on a tangent. What could make him look so damned guilty…so weary? The answers came to her faster than a hundred sucker punches, robbing her of her breath.

Infidelity?

Had he found someone else?

Had she done something wrong?

Had he grown tired of being in a relationship with her?

Had he acquired the experience of being a lover, and now simply wanted to move on? Experiment?

Break up with her?

No. It couldn't be those things. It just couldn't. They were in such a wonderful place now. Surely, if something had been wrong, she would have seen it coming.

Right?

He loves you. He moved in with you, when he didn't have to. He wants a future with you. You can trust him. He gave his virginity to you, and only to you. Stop this train of thought this instant! She tried to reassure herself, angry that she was automatically jumping to conclusions.

After what had happened earlier in the year with the misunderstanding about Penny, Amy swore that she would never again react without hearing the facts first. Her childish tantrum had nearly cost her the love of her life, and had sent poor Sheldon on a depression spiral which he did not need after the breakdown he had recently suffered. After what they'd been through since then, there was no way that Amy was going to let history repeat itself.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath to assemble her strength before she opened them.

Stay calm. Listen to him. Do not overreact. She demanded of herself. She only hoped that she could follow through on her own advice. Meeting his waiting gaze, she nodded.

"Okay, Sheldon. Let's…talk." Amy whispered, her voice soft.

She didn't pester him with questions such as 'What is this about?' or 'Is everything alright?' She had a feeling those answers would be a short time in coming, anyhow.

Sheldon squeezed her hands tightly in reply. Amy squeezed back just as tightly, waiting patiently as Sheldon gathered his thoughts into words. She carefully watched Sheldon's face and grew even more apprehensive as he licked his lips, his frown deepening.

"Amy… please, forgive me." Sheldon whispered, his eyes beseeching hers.

Those words were not what she was expecting. Her heart lurched, causing a spasm of nausea to overwhelm her. She schooled her features to remains passive though, her gaze not wavering.

Calm. Remain calm, dammit. She yelled inside of her head, the sound combined with Sheldon's question making her wince. Licking her own lips, she ran her thumbs across his fingers which were stretched tightly across her skin, his knuckles white from strain.

It was as though he were afraid that if he loosened his grip, she would disappear. Resolutely, Amy scooted closer to him.

"Forgive you? Whatever for?" She murmured kindly, struggling to hold Sheldon's gaze as his own darted around the room.

Sheldon grunted softly, a pained little sound that hit Amy right in the chest. Whatever it was that he was asking her forgiveness for, it must have grieved him to think it would hurt her so to reveal it. Amy's breath was suspended in her chest as she waited for Sheldon to continue. He took a deep, shaky breath, blowing it out through pursed lips.

"Amy…I've kept something from you for months now that is very important. I never meant for it to get so out of control. The longer I waited to tell you, the worse it became to hide. And now…I don't even know how to tell you the whole of it. I take full responsibility for what I've done. And…if you can't forgive me for not being honest with you from the beginning, I have no choice but to accept that. But please know, I never meant to hurt you. I only wanted to protect you. I…oh, Amy. You are my life. I felt that I had no other recourse but to protect that life," Sheldon whispered brokenly.

Amy stared at Sheldon, speechless. Okay…that did not sound good. Not at all.

Stay calm. Listen to him. Let him explain. She ordered herself again.

"Is it that…bad?" She asked with a small voice, having no idea how she would cope with it if it were.

Sheldon sighed thickly, his hands trembling as they held onto Amy's.

"It may not be, depending on your point of view. And your ability to forgive. Just please remember this, Amy. I love you. I never realized how much until I thought that you were in danger." Sheldon murmured.

Amy gazed at Sheldon in confusion, cocking her head.

"Danger? Whatever could I be in danger from?" She asked him, furrowing her brows.

She had visions of some crazed woman who had stolen Sheldon from her, plotting to harm Amy in order to steal him away from her. Amy's knees trembled a moment as she considered the prospect.

Sheldon blinked repeatedly as he stared at his girlfriend. His next words frightened her even more.

"Not what, Amy. Who." Sheldon forced out.

Amy opened and closed her mouth a few times before she could answer him.

"What are you talking about, Sheldon? Who would I be in danger from?" She asked, suddenly terrified to know.

Sheldon's hands slid up to Amy's wrists, caressing the skin there before gripping her forearms tightly. She watched his sensuous mouth form the words, certain she was imagining them.

"Your father." Sheldon whispered.

Somewhere deep in the house, there was a peculiar humming that would not cease. The mini grandfather clock in the dining room, perhaps. Or possibly the desk top modem in the den that Sheldon hadn't gotten around to resetting after daylight savings ended last week. The incessant noise filled the eerie silence of the rapidly darkening room, the timbre falling in time with the fading shadows.

Underneath that, was the soft drone of the A/C. Like the wind howling through leaf barren trees, its restless tremor sounded more like an annoyance than a balm. The two sets of noises resembled a haphazard aria that had been thrown together, the timing woefully off.

Out of the corner of her eye, Amy noticed a small sailboat skimming across the lake outside the window behind Sheldon. She ignored it, her gaze affixed to Sheldon's blue eyes. Eyes which had always grounded her. Comforted her. But those eyes which were so familiar to her were incredibly sorrowful now as they gazed back unwaveringly into hers.

It was as though time were suspended; droplets of dust were trapped in the rays of waning sunshine streaming in casting a glow across Sheldon's face that Amy found mesmerizing. She watched as his blue orbs blinked, the long and lush lashes sweeping against his upper cheeks.

"Not what, Amy. Who. Your father."

Six words.

Six words was all it took for Amy to find herself trapped in some strange alternate reality, where time ceased and her breath was stolen. The air in the room felt heavy and acrid as she tried to tell her brain to suck in the oxygen that it so desperately needed. Those six words slashed open her chest and left the blood spilling out of her. Everything felt cold. Her skin…Sheldon's hands.

Was this what it felt like to drown? She wondered in a daze; feeling like you were weighted down by quicksand, the cement like substance filling your chest cavity and entombing you?

So that was it. This had something to do with her father. A strange relief swept over her, and she silently thanked a deity that she didn't believe in that Sheldon did not want to break up with her. Yet his words rushed back to her, and as she conjured up her father's face, she wondered fearfully how Sheldon factored into the situation.

"Amy?" Sheldon whispered, his tender voice sounding too loud in the quiet room.

Time began to speed up then, whisking her away by pulling her down a road that she didn't want to travel. She opened her mouth to say something. Anything, but only a quiet whimper escaped. Sheldon squeezed her arms tighter, pulling her closer to him where her knees bumped up against his. His grave gaze turned frantic suddenly, as she felt a strange sensation beginning in her hands and moving up her arms…to her shoulders…and then her neck.

Shaking.

She was shaking. But not from any physiological response. Sheldon was shaking her, frantically trying to get her attention.

"Amy! Please, answer me." He yelled fearfully, snapping her back to reality and out of her catatonic state.

A deep, foreboding feeling of dread began to infiltrate her heart; it's black mist encasing her in its icy grip. She felt it pool within her core, nearly knocking the wind out of her as it pushed out all of her air and settled in, thick and heavy.

Get it together! She yelled inside of her head. Calming down minutely, she struggled to find her voice.

"Sheldon…Why would I have been in danger because of my father? I haven't seen him in sixteen years. He cut all ties with me. Whatever would have made you think that I was in danger from him now?" She managed to force out, her voice sounding childlike.

Sheldon grabbed her hands again and began to rub, and through a haze Amy realized it was because her hands were cold as ice. He looked up and met her frightened gaze, his eyes watering at once.

"Oh…Amy." He murmured, the love and heartbreak in his voice unmistakable.

Amy gasped quietly.

"Is…is he dead?" She whispered, sounding so much like a little girl. She hated sounding so vulnerable, but she had no choice. Whatever the outcome was, she would face it.

Sheldon looked at her oddly.

Suddenly, her entire past came rushing up to greet her, shoving her into a corner and she landed on her backside with a painful thud.

Please, Dad…let me see Mom's pictures. I don't even know what she truly looked like. Why are you punishing me like this?

Please, Dad…Don't go to the medical conference without me. This big house is so lonely when I'm by myself. It feels like a mausoleum.

Please, Dad… Come visit me on Parent's day at school. I'm the only student in my dorm who doesn't have a visitor.

Please, Dad…Don't leave me. Tell me that you didn't send your lawyer to inform me that you never wanted to see me again.

Please, Daddy. Love me. Don't blame me for Mommy's death. You're all that I have now. I need you…I didn't want to be the reason that she was taken from you. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me.

'Enough'! Amy screamed inwardly, shaking her head to rid herself of those horrible memories. 'No. I will NOT be the victim anymore.'

Finding strength she didn't realize that she possessed, Amy gripped Sheldon's hands so tightly that she knew she ran the risk of breaking his fingers.

"Is. He. Dead?" She asked again, forcefully this time. She needed the answer in that moment more than anything.

Her heart banged against her ribcage as Sheldon shook his head in the negative, tears beginning to drip down his face. Amy realized that he was deathly afraid to tell her, whatever it was. She swallowed thickly, forcing down the bile that rose in her throat.

"No, Amy. No. He's not dead. I swear to you." He said passionately, trying to make her believe him.

Amy closed her eyes, feeling lightheaded. The darkness swam across her vision, threatening to take her under. She fought against it, holding firm to Sheldon's grip.

"What is it, then? Is he hurt? Did someone call you, looking for me?" She cried out, desperate to know.

Sheldon shook his head slowly, his head resembling a top that was building momentum.

"No. No one called me, Amy. I…I did the calling. It was me. That's what I need you to forgive me for." Sheldon said, his voice trembling.

Amy sat back a bit, her confused and frantic thoughts not weaving together into any sort of tapestry.

"I don't understand. What do you mean, you did the calling? Who exactly did you call?" She asked him quietly, her deep voice sounding pained.

She watched as Sheldon took a deep breath, his eyes closing briefly as he seemed to be trying to gather strength from some unseen force.

"Amy…last February, when Harvey told me that he was proposing to my mother, he and I had a very poignant discussion. About you. And…your family. He knew about your mother, and he had guessed that you and your father were estranged." Sheldon said, his tone steady.

Amy nodded absently; after all, she had told the Cooper's and Harvey about her past at Christmas. But Amy sensed that there was more to this. She tried to remain calm as she swallowed the lump in her throat.

"I know that. You already told me that Harvey helped you. He is the one who found the pictures of my mother." She said matter-of-factly, her gaze wandering over to said pictures which were prominently displayed on top of the upright piano.

Sheldon sat still, not a movement out of him for at least a minute. It unnerved Amy, and she tilted her head as she watched him.

"That's…not all he found, Amy. I also asked him to find your father. You hadn't spoken to him in sixteen years, and you never mentioned to me if you knew where he was. I was curious about him. I should have just asked you your thoughts on the matter, but…I wasn't merely curious. I was worried, as well. And I didn't know how to broach the subject to you without causing you more pain." Sheldon whispered.

Amy's brows knitted in confusion.

"Worried?" She murmured softly. "You were worried?"

Sheldon nodded slowly.

"Yes. I was worried. From the picture that you painted of Adam Fowler, I was afraid that he was resentful of you and one day would try to find you and harm you. Emotionally, anyway. I was angry, too. I needed to know if he was the monster that I made him out to be in my mind. I was new to therapy, and it was bringing up all kinds of fears and PTSD issues as I was dealing with George's abuse. My worst fear, was that I would lose you. I had to know what we were dealing with; if the man that you described was a threat to you. You implied to me on more than one occasion that he blamed you for your mother's death. If that were true, then I would just as soon lay down my life to prevent him one day taking revenge on you for that," Sheldon said sincerely.

Amy was stunned. She had absolutely no inkling that Sheldon was so worried about this. None at all. Especially since February. That was over nine months ago.

Licking her dry lips, she tried to find her voice.

"But…why would you have been afraid that you could lose me? What did you find out?" She asked fearfully, all sorts of terrible scenarios running through her mind.

Sheldon took another deep breath, before squeezing her hands tighter.

"That day at the barbecue in Texas, before the wedding? The day I found out that Harvey was my father…I found out that Adam Fowler had been keeping you under surveillance for years. He followed your career and was extremely happy that you joined Caltech. And…" Sheldon stopped, overwhelmed.

Amy blinked slowly.

"But…why? Why would he follow my career? And why would he care if I got accepted at Caltech? It's in California, and he's in Massachusetts." Amy pointed out numbly.

Sheldon sighed, his voice catching.

"Because, Amy. He is no longer in Massachusetts. He moved to Los Angeles last November, before you got the position at Caltech. You were on the short list for Scientists they were looking to recruit, and he gave them a recommendation for you. As well as a large donation" Sheldon said quietly.

Amy nodded woodenly, although the understanding really hadn't reached her thought process yet.

"I see." She murmured, perplexed as to why he would have done such a thing.

Sheldon shook his head in the negative, his expression sad.

"No, Amy. I don't think that you do. He did what he did because…he missed you. When he found out that Caltech was interested in your talent, he used his name and reputation to ensure you a position at the University. He wanted to be close to you. He had taken a positon in New York City at Lennox Hill Hospital for a few years before moving out to Los Angeles last fall. He is Chief of Thoracic surgery at Cedars Sinai." Sheldon whispered, his eyes focused on hers intently.

A strange sound escaped Amy's mouth, one of shocked disbelief.

Her father was here, in California? Merely miles away from her?

A thought occurred to her then, snapping her out of her stupor. She gazed at Sheldon seriously, the pieces finally coming together.

"How do you know this, Sheldon? Was all of this in Harvey's report?" She asked him tightly, dreading the answer.

Sheldon's look of guilt only deepened, his pale cheeks turning paler still.

"I know this because…two days ago, I met with him. Leonard and I didn't go to UCLA, as I told you. We went to L.A. because I wanted to confront him." Sheldon admitted, cringing as the words left his lips.

Amy's mouth fell open in shock.

"You…saw him? You spoke to my father?" Amy asked, her voice shaking.

Sheldon visibly swallowed.

"Yes. I did. Because…the day of your lecture, he showed up at Caltech. I saw him and chased him down, but he drove away before I could confront him. I was worried sick about why he came to your workplace, what his intentions were…And I didn't want it to be a shock to you. We had a long discussion, and I learned a great many things about Adam Fowler that I hadn't anticipated." Sheldon admitted humbly.

Amy rose from the couch, staring down at Sheldon with blurry eyes.

"You…you lied to me, about UCLA. So that you could confront my father?" Amy asked in a monotone voice.

Sheldon looked up at Amy helplessly before rising himself to stand before her. He kept a respectable distance, as not to crowd her.

"Yes. I lied to you. But only…only because I was scared, Amy. I didn't know what to do. If his intent was to harm you in any way, I had to know. He needed to know that you were safe; with me. Our friends. My family. I wanted to threaten him so that if he had any ill intentions, he would think twice. But as it turns out…he had no such intentions. He is the most pitiful creature I've ever encountered. Lonely. Afraid. And…so guilt ridden for the mistakes that he's made that he looks to be a hundred years old. I've never seen someone filled with such remorse and regret." Sheldon said, his eyes drifting off as well as he remembered Adam's demeanor.

Amy stared in a stupor at her boyfriend, trying to come to grips with what this meant.

Her father was here. In Los Angeles. And…he'd missed her? He was sorry for abandoning her? And Sheldon…liked him?

Amy stepped closer to Sheldon, her body touching his. Sheldon didn't move back, instantly softening into her touch.

"Did he…did he tell you that he missed me, or did you merely assume that?" Amy asked quietly, afraid of the answer.

Sheldon reached out and touched Amy's cheek tenderly, afraid to even touch her until he knew that he was forgiven. But the pull to comfort her was too strong.

"Oh, Amy. I wouldn't assume anything, especially where something so important was at stake. He told me that he misses you. Loves you. And…I believe him. It was difficult for me to, at first, because all I wanted to do was pummel him for what he'd done to you. But after talking with him, I can clearly see the remorse in every cell of his body. It wasn't your fault. Any of it. It was his and his alone." Sheldon assured her softly.

Amy released a huge gasp, her mind not being able to comprehend what Sheldon was saying.

He missed her.

He loves her.

Sheldon believes him.

"But how…and why? Why did he leave me if he loved me so much?" Amy demanded, her father's actions and words not adding up.

Sheldon released a deep breath, sitting back down and taking her with him. He held onto her hands, not letting go.

"He made a huge mistake Amy. One that altered the course of many lives. Yours especially. He confessed to me the reasons for his actions. It won't be easy for you to hear this. I told your father that it would be best coming from me. After you've heard the truth, you will have to decide what the best course of action is going forward. He knows this, and accepts it. No matter how hard it might be for him to do so." Sheldon said seriously.

Amy swallowed roughly.

"More?" Amy asked wearily. "How much more? What exactly has he done?"

Sheldon inhaled sharply.

"Amy…when I found out that Harvey was my father, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. The life that I knew and all of its truths were suddenly turned upside down. I had believed a lie for so long, that finding out the truth did not seem real. But in the end, no matter what had transpired, I realized that I couldn't change it. Fortunately for myself and Missy, we were granted a second chance with a father who loves us. What had seemed shocking and unbelievable turned out to be a blessing, as you well know." Sheldon said sincerely.

Amy nodded slowly.

"I know it did, Sheldon. And I'm very happy for the all of you. But I'm still not clear on how that parallels to my situation. Please…tell me what you know." Amy begged him.

Sheldon nodded, closing his eyes.

"Amy…two years before you were born, your mother miscarried a child. It drove a wedge between her and your father, as they were each grieving the loss. Instead of supporting one another they grew apart; Lily threw herself into her writing and your father…well, your father turned to a friend for comfort. A female friend. Things…escalated between them, and they ended up having a brief affair. That affair resulted in a child, Amy. Your father felt so guilty about what he'd done, that he forced the issue about having another baby with Lily. He loved her so deeply, that he couldn't bear not giving her a child. She became pregnant with you, but it was apparent very quickly that her heart wasn't strong enough to carry you full term. He tried to save her, but he couldn't. He had assumed it would be her heart that gave out. But it was the hemorrhage." Sheldon said regretfully.

Amy stared at him in shocked disbelief.

"Oh…my God. I had no idea." Amy whispered.

Sheldon tilted his head in compassion.

"How would you?" He murmured gently.

Amy inhaled deeply.

"He had…an affair. And he fathered another child. Did my mother know?" Amy whispered in devastation.

Sheldon rushed to reassure her, shaking his head roughly in the negative.

"No, Amy. He never told her about the affair nor the child." Sheldon said.

Amy laughed bitterly.

"Because he was a coward." She rasped.

Sheldon frowned at her.

"No, Amy. Because he didn't want to cause her any more pain." Sheldon countered gently.

Amy rose from the couch, pacing the floor like a caged lion. When she turned to Sheldon with blazing eyes, the Physicist gulped.

"Are you saying what he did was right? Honesty is the best policy, Sheldon. At least, in a healthy relationship." Amy stressed harshly.

Sheldon winced at her accusation, and Amy wondered if it were her words or her tone that had affected him.

In her anger, it escaped her reasoning that she herself had never been in a romantic relationship before Sheldon to know what was healthy or otherwise, but she did know right from wrong.

Sheldon rose tentatively, walking toward her on shaky legs.

"I'm not saying that he was right in his actions of infidelity, Amy. And honesty is usually the best course of action. In relationships, life, business. But to what end? Aren't there special circumstances, where the painful truth would only hurt innocent bystanders? Perhaps the truth only sets the liar free. Exonerating their conscience. While the person who was wronged has to live with the pain of something that could have been a grievous mistake, and not meant for malice. Now two lives are ruined, rather than just one. What is the purpose of that?" Sheldon asked her quietly.

For a moment, Amy was speechless at Sheldon's reasoning. He was so different than the Sheldon she had met a lifetime ago at the lake. This man spoke with a tone of forgiveness. Warmth. Understanding. She would have been thrilled for the fact he had softened so, if it hadn't directly affected her.

"Purpose? I would think a man with your intellect would understand the purpose, Sheldon." Amy said forcefully. "After all, in your work, you don't deal with emotions and what ifs. You deal with cold facts. Hard, scientific proof. And the fact was, he was afraid to tell her what he'd done for fear that she would leave him. He didn't give her the chance to forgive him. And in turn, forgive himself. What is the purpose of that? Living a half-life and then blaming everyone else for his choice?" Amy countered angrily.

Sheldon nodded slowly, folding his arms in resignation.

"You're probably right, Amy. Who wouldn't be afraid, after committing such a grievous sin? But I think that he chose what he did to spare her more pain. He made a mistake. One that I personally couldn't fathom making, but then again I haven't walked in his shoes and he hasn't walked in mine. He chose to bear the guilt alone, taking that devastating secret to the grave so that she would have a happy life. A life with you, Amy. I truly believe that he did what he did out of respect to Lily." Sheldon said sincerely.

Amy's face crumpled in anguish.

"Respect? What the hell would he know about respect? He committed adultery. He used a child…me…to try and garner favor with the fates to absolve his guilty conscience. And then to add insult to injury, he allowed me to believe that it was all my fault. That I had killed my mother. What kind of a person does such a thing?" Amy sobbed.

Sheldon's face fell, his pain for her clearly etched on his features.

"The kind of person whose feet are made of clay, Amy." He said quietly. "An imperfect person. One who realizes his crimes and wants to atone for them."

Amy shuddered, feeling the room spin. Sheldon was making sense, yet she was not able to comprehend where to go from here.

"And…what about what he did to me, Sheldon? He made me think that I was to blame. He never spoke those words aloud, but he didn't have to. What else was I supposed to think? While he was off amusing himself with his 'other' family, I was left alone to fear that my father hated me." Amy yelled hysterically, her tears beginning to flow. The shock had passed, and now anger was settling in.

Sheldon reached out and took her shoulders gently within his grasp.

"It wasn't like that, Amy. He didn't have another family. The woman in question was also married. And in love with her husband. They too were having marital difficulties. Adam never knew his son and when his best friend found out about him and his wife, your father lost everyone." Sheldon said sadly.

Amy rounded on her boyfriend angrily.

"That was his choice. He didn't have to lose anyone. He was selfish, and cruel, and only thought of himself." She yelled, realizing at once Sheldon's foresight in removing Chaucer from the house. She most certainly would have terrified her poor dog with this outburst.

Amy closed her eyes tightly, rubbing her temples as Sheldon stood as still as a statue, obviously petrified by her outburst.

A son. Adam had a son out there, somewhere. She had a half-brother that she knew nothing about. Did he know who his real father was? Had his mother told him the truth, or had she lied to him, as well? Dear God…first Sheldon's family, and now hers. Was anyone's family simply normal?

She tried to gather her wits, breathing deeply in and out before licking her parched lips.

"Does he know? Does he know who his son is?" Amy asked quietly.

She opened weary eyes to see Sheldon nodding.

"Yes, Amy. He knows. And…so do you." Sheldon whispered.

Amy reared back, shaking her head.

"How would I know him, Sheldon?" She asked incredulously.

Sheldon mimicked her actions, licking his lips as well.

"Because. You grew up together. Brought together, really. By some, perhaps…divine intervention." Sheldon murmured.

Amy blinked repeatedly, resembling a confused owl.

Divine?

Now she was more frightened than ever. One word that she never assumed would pass Sheldon Cooper's lips was divine. If she had chills before, it was nothing compared to the ice that settled into her veins, chilling her from the inside out.

'Because. You grew up together. Brought together, really.'

"What are you saying to me, Sheldon?" She whispered fearfully, clarity settling in. She couldn't remove her gaze from Sheldon's, seeing nothing but love and compassion in it.

Sheldon tentatively reached for her hands, which Amy allowed him to take.

"Amy…I'm saying that Adam's son is Andrew Prince." Sheldon whispered.

Amy's mouth twitched, her eyes blinking lazily. She felt the floor beneath her give away, and began to fall. Sheldon grabbed her hands tightly before she could, yanking her against him and sitting them back down on the couch with gentleness.

"Amy!" Sheldon murmured frantically, and through a haze Amy met his worried eyes. She took several deep breaths, trying to get herself under control.

"How can that…be? I know Drew's parents. I've spent holidays with them. They were very kind to me, especially when my father…They never…Sheldon, it can't be true." Amy said, a strange bubbling laughter erupting out of her. It sounded maniacal and scary.

She was in shock. This had to be shock. She couldn't stop laughing, her entire body shaking with the force of it.

"It's true, Amy." Sheldon assured her gently, running his fingers over her delicate skin.

She realized in that moment how deep the lies and deception ran in her family. Drew was Adam's son. His firstborn child. His heir. And she…

"Oh…my god." Amy murmured, her voice trembling.

Sheldon held on to her hands tightly, no doubt feeling the tremors running through her shaking body.

"Drew…does he know? Has he also been lying to me all of this time?" Amy asked fearfully, her anger for her father falling away as the one's opinion she truly cared about came into play.

She'd lived a lifetime feeling that Adam never loved her. She had accepted that long ago, and had moved on. But to lose Drew…to find out that he'd deceived her all along…she couldn't bear it.

"Sheldon?" Amy whimpered, waiting for Sheldon to seal her fate.

"No, Amy. He doesn't know. Adam told me that he doubts The Princes have been honest with him, either." Sheldon said sadly.

Relief, thick and heady, washed over her. She couldn't bear the thought that Drew had lied to her all of this time. But still, the truth remained that they were related. Drew was her brother. Her brother…

How could this be? How could this happen? This can't be happening…

"I…I need to go. I need…I have to get out of here." Amy cried, rising from the couch with a clumsy stagger.

Sheldon rose as well, gripping her hand tightly.

"Amy, please. Don't leave like this. Let's talk about this. You're in shock. You're in no state to drive a car." Sheldon begged.

Amy shook her head frantically.

"I have to go. I need some time to process this. A walk. I'll take a walk. I just can't…be here right now." She whimpered, trying in vain to disengage her hand from Sheldon's iron grip.

Sheldon's breathing accelerated harshly as he desperately tried to hang on to her.

"You shouldn't be alone right now. Please, don't go." He implored her.

Amy looked down at his gentle hand encircling her wrist, unwilling to release her. She loved him so much, and knew that he only meant well. But right now, she needed to be alone.

"Let me go, Sheldon. When you found out about Harvey, I didn't come after you like I wanted to do. I knew that you needed time to organize your thoughts I let you have your space. Now…you need to allow me mine." She whispered gravely.

Realizing that she was right, Sheldon resignedly let go of her hand. They stood staring at each other awkwardly for a moment, the only sounds in the room that of the grandfather clock and the sweet tenor of some children playing outside in the rapidly approaching twilight. Amy swallowed thickly as she turned to go, her heart and mind at war with itself.

"I'm sorry, Amy. I'm so sorry." He cried as Amy made her way to the front door.

It was almost dark now, and colder. And she had no idea where to go. But she had to get away, and let this all sink in.

"I know." She sobbed, grabbing her coat and slamming the door behind her.

She had no idea that on the other side, Sheldon had fallen down in a heap on the couch and cried. He was fearful of how she would cope with this.

And fearful that she wouldn't be able to forgive him for keeping the truth from her.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Amy stared blindly at the picture displayed on the screen of her IPhone; a recent image of she and Drew when he came to visit her back during the summertime. Penny had snapped the picture during the BBQ at Amy's house, unbeknownst to her at the time.

They were down by the lake shore, having a heart to heart talk with their arms loosely around one another's waist. Penny had later said that she couldn't resist snapping the image, as it was a touching display of sibling love. Amy had offered Penny a wide smile at the time, feeling blessed that although she and Drew were not blood related, they were as close as any brother and sister ever were.

Tears sprang to Amy's eyes as she studied the picture now. To the casual observer, there was nothing amiss in the image. Yet upon closer inspection, she could clearly see how in sync the two of them were. It had always been that way between she and Drew; comfortable. Effortless. Safe.

In a word, family.

Amy sighed shakily, exiting out of her photos and turning the phone upside down. How was she going to do this? How was she going to not only face her father, but tell Drew the truth? She resigned herself that she had to be the one to tell Drew. As Sheldon had been the one to break the news to her, so must she break the news to Drew.

To him, Adam was a veritable stranger. The last thing that she wanted, was for Drew to suffer. She hoped that he would not resent her once she told him the truth.

"Would you like another cup of coffee before we close, Ma'am?"

Amy looked up to find the barista who had served her earlier standing in front of her. Looking around at the rapidly emptying coffee house, Amy shook her head in the negative.

"Um…no thank you. I'm sorry. I'll just be going. I didn't mean to hold you up. I can see that you're ready to close." She whispered quietly, rising and gathering her coat.

The younger woman halted her progress, putting up her hand in supplication.

"Oh, no. You're not holding me up. Really. We don't close for another twenty minutes. I was just checking on you. I've been watching you, and you've been sitting in the same position for nearly an hour. Are you alright?" The girl asked kindly, and Amy realized that she recognized the young woman from Caltech.

"Don't I know you?" Amy asked her curiously, avoiding the girl's inquiry into her well-being.

The girl smiled widely, nodding her head.

"Yes. I'm a grad student at Caltech. I'm in one of Dr. Cooper's classes on Quantum Physics. You've stopped by his class a few times over the semester. We all assumed that…well. You know. You and Dr. Cooper…" She trailed off suggestively, shrugging and smiling sweetly.

Sheldon's face flashed before Amy's eyes, looking devastated and panic stricken as she had ordered him to release her arm earlier. Amy pursed her lips, tears rushing to her eyes. The girl noticed at once Amy's change in demeanor.

"Oh, God. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to imply anything or make you feel uncomfortable. Trust me, I'm very discreet. It's nobody's business anyway, what you and Dr. Cooper do together." The girl rushed out, clearly contrite.

Amy waved off her apology.

"No, it's…fine. Really. You didn't make me feel uncomfortable. And yes, Dr. Cooper and I are a couple. We do our best to be discreet at work. I suppose sometimes, we don't do a very good job at it," Amy whispered, confirming the girl's suspicions.

The girl laughed, giving Amy a thumbs up. It was clear that she was impressed.

"Good for you! I'm a third year Science major, and I can tell you that I have never seen that guy so happy. I've seen some teachers and students hit on him over the years, but he was never interested. He was always all business. But this semester, everything has changed. I myself really see a difference in him. He actually smiles now. And he talks to his students, rather than just barking orders and assignments at us. I would say, by the looks of it, that is all your doing." The girl said slyly.

Amy gaped at her blankly, not knowing how to respond to such a personal statement.

"Oh! I'm sorry. Rambling on like this when you don't know me from a hole in the ground. I'm Michelle Allen." The girl said, thrusting out her hand for Amy to shake.

Looking down at her proffered hand, Amy noticed a tattoo of Yin and Yang on the girl's wrist. She took her hand gently, shaking it.

"Nice to meet you, Michelle. I'm Amy Farrah Fowler." Amy said cordially.

The girl smiled, her grip tightening.

"I know who you are, Dr. Fowler. Everyone at Caltech does. You've been a wonderful addition to the University this year. One of my guy friends is in one of your classes; Gary Holmes. He can't stop singing your praises." Michelle gushed.

That made Amy smile, and she forgot her troubles for a moment. She released the girl's hand, stepping back a pace.

"That's nice to hear. If there's anything a teacher strives for, it's earning the respect of her student's." Amy said humbly.

Michelle nodded, smiling.

"May I sit down a moment? You look like you could use a friend." Michelle said kindly.

Amy blanched at that, gulping. She could only imagine how she looked right now, after crying for the last hour into her tissue silently.

"I…it's been a difficult day." Amy murmured, looking away in embarrassment.

Michelle tilted her head.

"I can relate to that. But we could chat for a minute, if you'd like. I've always found that talking to a total stranger when I'm blue can perk me right up." Michelle said, a hint of perkiness in her voice.

Amy looked around at the deserted coffee house in confusion.

"Don't you have to get back to your closing duties? I don't want to keep you. Or get you into trouble." She said seriously.

Michelle waved her hand, motioning to a tall man behind the counter cleaning one of the espresso machines.

"Nah. No worries. Jake's got it all under control." She said, folding her hands in front of her primly.

Amy's eyes were drawn once again to the girl's tattoo.

"That tattoo…on your wrist. May I ask why you chose that particular design?" Amy inquired cautiously, not wanting to offend the girl.

Michelle smiled softly, bringing her wrist up for closer inspection.

"Oh. Yin and Yang? Do you know what it signifies?" Michelle asked curiously.

Amy nodded slowly, the movement barely discernable.

"It's an ancient, fundamental Chinese principle that all things exist as inseparable and contradictory opposites to one another. Light/Dark…Female/Male…Old/Young…" Amy explained, her voice morphing into professor mode.

Michelle rolled her eyes good-naturedly.

"Well, your definition was delivered in a true scientific manner." Michelle giggled. "Yet I didn't mark my body with a symbol such as this merely as a conversation starter. I did it for the simplest of reasons. The layman's definition. Do you know what that is?" Michelle asked quietly.

Amy stared at her, wondering if the question was rhetorical.

Sitting down, Michelle leaned forward and placed her hands together on the table between them.

"Balance, Dr. Fowler. It signifies balance. In all things. Because on the opposite side of every coin, there is another side. Another story. In life. In love. In everything." Michelle said casually.

Amy blinked, her mouth falling open.

"How would a girl your age know so much about those things?" Amy asked gently.

Michelle shrugged.

"Modern times, I guess. I grew up quickly. Both of my parents are high powered attorneys. They expected excellence from me. I'm paying my way through school, not relying on their money. It gives me a sense of person; making it on my own. Not very glamorous, mind you. But it pays the bills. I wanted to be one of those people who told their children one day that they were self-made. I guess, I want to pass my strength and belief in myself on so that my energy will never die. I totally believe in the fact that we are particles who change form once we're gone." Michelle said happily.

Amy smiled at the girl, her eyes admiring her Goth clothing and punk-ish hairstyle which was black and navy blue and cut into a short precision bob.

"What is your major?" Amy asked suddenly, her reason for being in this coffee shop after hours forgotten.

Michelle smiled at her.

"Theoretical Physics. That's why getting a professor as highly regarded as Dr. Cooper was such a plus. I had waited two semesters for his class to have an opening. I knew that he had a reputation for being a perfectionist and very hard on his students. But I figured that if I could train under the best, I could accomplish anything. Imagine my surprise when the aforementioned perfectionist turned out to actually be…nice." Michelle laughed.

Amy smiled shyly, knowing that Michelle was alluding to her relationship with Sheldon being the catalyst for that. She thought back to long ago, when Sheldon had once told her how there was a time in which he despised teaching. Had her coming into his life made him softer…more agreeable to everyone around him, including his students? Had falling in love with her brought him happiness that he'd never known before, causing a ripple effect in his life that affected not only his private life, but his professional one as well? Perhaps she had changed his life for the better, as he undoubtedly had changed hers.

In that moment, she saw Sheldon in a totally new light. He wasn't just the man who had stolen her heart. He was now her knight in shining armor. He loved her so much, that he stood up to a perfect stranger in which he knew nothing about simply because he worried that she was in danger. He risked bodily harm, mental anguish that he didn't need, and most importantly, her scorn for meddling in her affairs and not telling her about finding Adam sooner.

She suddenly felt awful for running out on him earlier, even though she was validated with needing time on her own. He was probably beside himself with worry.

Smiling sadly at Michelle, Amy leaned back in her chair.

"Well…I'm glad to hear that you're comfortable with him and that you consider him the best. He would be happy to hear it. He is the best, as far as I'm concerned." Amy said with pride, sipping the last of her now cold coffee.

Michelle nodded, her eyes narrowing at Amy.

"May I ask…why did you want to know about my tattoo? Are you considering getting one? I can give you the number of my artist, if you'd like." Michelle said with excitement, as though the idea that a respected professor such as Dr. Fowler having a tattoo from her artist titillated her.

Amy smiled, shaking her head in the negative.

"Oh, no. But thank you. That's very nice of you to offer. I can see that your artist did a fine job. I was simply admiring yours. I was curious as to why you chose that design, especially on your wrist. Most woman get tattoos on their back, shoulder, or chest. It must have hurt having it placed on your inside wrist like that. Why there?" Amy asked curiously.

Michelle's brows rose.

"I wanted it in a place that I can always see it. All I have to do is turn my hand over, and my focus is back. My life can get pretty chaotic sometimes. It's not other's expectations of me that stress me out so much. It's my own. So I wanted to remind myself to always maintain balance. Everything will not always go my way. I can either accept that or…" Michelle trailed off, pursing her lips.

Amy cocked a brow at her.

"Or?" She repeated, suddenly on the edge of her chair.

"Or, change it." Michelle answered simply.

Amy released the breath she had held, nodding in agreement.

"Yes…accept it, or change it." She whispered. "But what if you have no idea how to do that? Sometimes all of the knowledge and PhD's in the world can't help you."

Michelle smiled warmly.

"You're a very intelligent woman, Dr. Fowler. I can tell. I am quite sure that you can figure it out." Michelle said, knowingly.

Amy bit her lip shyly at the praise, laughing softly.

"Thank you for saying that, Michelle. And for the chat."

"Mich? I've got to finish up here. Can you come cash out?" The tall barista behind the counter called out anxiously.

Both Amy and Michelle stared in the direction of Michelle's work partner.

"Sure thing, boss." Michelle said briskly, rising from her seat and sliding it back under the table.

Both woman stared at each other a moment, smiling.

"Well, duty calls. It was nice to meet you formally, Dr. Fowler. I hope that you have a great weekend. And…I hope that you too find the balance you seek." Michelle said, offering the Neuroscientist a hearty wave before she left her sitting there, alone once again.

"Nice to meet you, too." Amy whispered, watching her go.

Balance…yes. She needed balance, all right.

She looked at her watch, noting that it was five minutes to eleven. Sighing, closed her eyes. Sheldon must be worried sick about her.

She'd left him nearly four hours ago, and had been wandering the streets ever since. By happenstance, she found herself outside of Intelligentsia Coffee House. While she and the girls often came here, as well as coming alone, it was her visit here with Drew when he visited her last summer that stuck in her mind now.

Drew…

Amy felt sharp tears prick the back of her nose as she thought once again, for the millionth time tonight, of how this could be. She and Drew…brother and sister. It was unfathomable. And yet…it somehow gave her immense joy and even a feeling of peace to know that the man she'd loved and trusted her entire life just like a brother was in fact, her own.

And then…there was Adam.

Amy didn't understand how a man who professed to love his wife so much could be unfaithful to her, even once. Yet as the hours had passed, and Amy tried to put it into perspective, she realized that she hadn't all of the facts. Her mother had suffered a miscarriage. That would have devastated her and Adam both. Perhaps they had grown apart. She could no more judge her parent's for their actions then she could judge her own. Sheldon said it best earlier that night; she hadn't walked in her father's shoes and he hadn't walked in hers.

Still, she grieved for the loss of not only his love all of this time, but the closeness that they missed out upon because of it. He chose to allow her to think the worst, and she wondered if she could ever forgive him for that.

But he had reached out, making an effort to heal the past. Perhaps the least that she could do, was let him explain it in his own words why he had left. She understood why he felt it best coming from Sheldon, after all. Hearing it from her boyfriend's mouth was difficult enough.

Amy rose to her feet, putting her coat back on. She threw a ten dollar bill on the table for Michelle as payment for advice and taking up the seat for a few hours, before walking out into the brisk Pasadena night air.

She had a lot of thinking to do, and a lot of choices to make. One thing was for certain, though. She was relieved to have Sheldon by her side. She knew how hard it must have been confessing the truth to her earlier. While she was caught off guard, she didn't blame him for keeping this from her. She knew that he meant well, as was only concerned for her safety and happiness. It touched her immensely that he loved her that deeply, as to risk her reproach rather than upset her.

She made her way towards home, just as the rain began to fall again.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Sheldon, she's alright. Why don't you come have a seat and try to relax. Pacing a hole in the floor isn't going to bring her home any sooner," Penny urged sweetly, secretly alarmed herself at the fact that Amy had been gone for hours.

A heavy rain had moved through the area in the last hour, turning the already chilly air even more so. Penny worried at the fact that Amy had taken off on foot, and was probably freezing by now.

Penny couldn't believe how the day had turned out. When Leonard told her after work that they had to go over to Sheldon and Amy's to take Chaucer out while the couple 'talked', Penny's radar immediately perked up. It took her all of five minutes to pry the truth out of her fiancé, and once she found out about Adam Fowler she was literally speechless.

First Sheldon and Missy's father turned out to be Harvey Watson, and now Amy and Drew were half siblings. And here she thought that her family had the market cornered on drama. Penny decided that once Amy was home safe and sound, she would go home and have a much needed glass of wine. Or two.

Penny worried her lip as she watched her friend at the window, Sheldon shifting from his post to give Penny an annoyed glare.

"I'll relax when Amy comes home, Penny. How am I supposed to sit down and be calm when she's out there alone, upset, and thinking god knows what? And where the hell did this rain come from? It never rains like this in Pasadena. Amy must be soaked to the bone." Sheldon lamented testily, turning his attention back to the window once again.

It was nearing midnight and the recent downpour had turned the sky an inky shade of black. Sheldon frowned as he scanned the street, no sign of his girlfriend in sight.

Across the room, Leonard and Penny exchanged matching worried looks, knowing that nothing was going to calm Sheldon down until Amy came back home.

Leonard rose, heading into the kitchen to fetch Sheldon some tea from the kettle Penny had heated up moments before. Penny patted the spot that Leonard had just vacated, happy when Chaucer lumbered over and laid his massive head upon it for Penny to stroke.

Penny's attention was diverted to Sheldon as he pushed the curtain aside once again to gaze out into the darkened street, muttering softly to himself.

It was clear to Penny that Sheldon was not only concerned about Amy's wellbeing, but Amy's feelings about the fact Sheldon had known for months about her father's whereabouts. Yet upon further reflection, Penny wondered if this wasn't, in fact, very good news. After all, Amy and Drew adored one another. The fact that Adam Fowler was Drew's biological father shouldn't change anything. In Penny's mind, it seemed like the perfect scenario. Okay, so the facts weren't ideal. But in the end, family is everything. This might even bring them all closer together, after a little time passed and the wounds of betrayal settled a bit.

Sighing, Penny shook her head in wonder and smiled gently at her fiancé who entered the room carrying a tray with tea and accompaniments. He sat down on the couch, turning his attention to his friend earnestly.

"Buddy, please come have a cup of tea and something to eat. I know that you haven't eaten all day, since you met with Amy's father at lunchtime and you didn't eat dinner. You'll be no good to Amy if you pass out. Come on," Leonard urged, already preparing the tea the way that he knew Sheldon liked it, as well as pushing over a small plate with a sandwich on it in his direction.

Reluctantly, Sheldon abandoned his post at the window, sitting down with a heavy thud in the chair across from the engaged couple. He eyed the sandwich with distaste, not really wanting to eat but knowing that Leonard was right. He took a few bites of it, forcing himself to chew it and swallow before washing it down with a swig of tea.

"Where is she, Leonard? What if someone mugged her? Or what if she was crying so hard that she stumbled and fell into a ditch somewhere?" Sheldon asked in agony, the sandwich now forgotten as he laid it down and shoved the plate away from him.

Penny grimaced at each of Sheldon's voiced scenarios, a lump forming in her throat as she imagined Amy hurt and alone in the city somewhere.

It was Leonard who was the voice of reason; his calm voice and soothing smile putting Sheldon somewhat at ease immediately.

"No, Sheldon. I don't think Amy is in any danger. You yourself said that she seemed alright when she left, if not just a little shell shocked. She's probably trying to clear her head and wrap her mind around this. I know that you're worried, but it's out of your hands. You did the right thing by telling her. It was best coming from you." Leonard said gently, his truthfulness causing Sheldon to sigh.

"I know that, Leonard. I'm just…did I wait too long? Does she not trust me anymore now because of this? She seemed so distant. So…detached." Sheldon lamented, obviously worried that he had damaged her faith in him with not only his keeping the truth from her, but of his understanding of Adam Fowler's actions.

She had seemed so wounded by his words, practically accusing Sheldon of 'siding' with Adam. That was hardly the case, but after having two serious discussions with the man, Sheldon did understand where he was coming from.

Leonard raised his eyes toward the ceiling, considering.

"I don't think anything could shake Amy's trust in you, Sheldon. She's just been delivered a serious blow. Think back to when you found out that Harvey was your biological father. You needed to run off and escape too, right? But you came back, and Amy was waiting for you. I think with time, she will endure it just fine, as well. She's strong and intelligent. And she loves you dearly." Leonard said in a soothing tone.

Sheldon nodded quickly, trying desperately to believe Leonard's words.

"Thank you, Leonard. And…thank you for being there for me this past week. You're a good friend. You both are." Sheldon whispered, his gaze flicking between Leonard and Penny.

Leonard smiled at his best friend, patting Sheldon on the back before reaching over go grip Penny's hand. Leonard knew that this was the first relationship Sheldon had ever had, and he had no idea how to read body language and take cues from women. Leonard thought that it was rather sweet, the obvious depth of love that he felt for Amy. If someone would have told him a year ago that the great Sheldon Cooper would not only be in love with a real girl, but living with her, Leonard would have wet himself with laughter.

Yet here they were, and Leonard had never been prouder of his best friend. He'd grown up so much in the last twelve months, displaying courage and warmth that Leonard never could have imagined he would possess.

As the trio sat in silent contemplation – Leonard and Penny drinking their tea quietly and Sheldon staring into the distance sulking - a noise at the front door startled them. Four pairs of eyes including Chaucer's turned towards the sound as the opened revealing a pale, wet, and disheveled Amy. She crossed over the threshold, her eyes meeting Sheldon's worried gaze at once before spying Leonard and Penny on the couch. Chaucer sat between them, his sweet and concerned gaze fixed upon his Mistress in fear.

Amy wearily eyed the four of them, balancing to and fro on her feet in embarrassment at her appearance. She smoothed her sopping hair away from her forehead, annoyed at how the water soaked strands fell stubbornly back again across her eyes.

"Hi." She whispered quietly, prompting Penny to rise and come embrace her in a hug.

Sheldon looked on, his blue eyes wide and his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed nervously.

"Hey, Sweetie. I am so sorry, Ames. We were worried sick about you. Is there anything I can do to help? Are you alright?" Penny rushed out sweetly.

Amy's eyes locked with Sheldon's as she nodded. He looked pale and fearful, and it broke her heart. With much effort, she dragged her gaze away from Sheldon to meet Penny's concerned face.

"I'm fine. I just needed some time alone. You can understand, right?" She whispered, turning her head slightly to lean on Penny's shoulder.

Penny nodded enthusiastically.

"Of course I do. I'm so glad that you're alright and back home in one piece. Thank God for that." Penny said softly, running her hands along the back of Amy's head.

The foursome remained quiet for a moment, before Leonard spoke up gently as he rose from the couch. Sheldon looked up at his friend and watched as he crossed the room to join Penny at Amy's side.

"Amy…if there's anything that you need. Well…you know. We're here for you. All of us." He stressed, and Amy smiled in his direction gratefully.

"Thank you, Leonard. I appreciate that." She whispered quietly.

Leonard took Penny's hand as she and Amy broke their embrace. His eyes drifted from Amy to Sheldon, and back again.

"Well, now that you're home, I'm sure you'd like to rest. You must be exhausted. And you really need to get out of these soaking clothes. We'll just…leave you to it." Penny said, her gaze also temporarily meeting Sheldon's.

Amy nodded, suddenly afraid to be alone with Sheldon.

"Thank you both for coming over to take care of Chaucer. And…for staying with Sheldon." Amy murmured.

The couple nodded simultaneously.

"No problem, Bestie." Penny said, giving Amy's cheek a squeeze before she guided Leonard towards the door.

Before they stepped through, Leonard turned to his friend.

"Take care of her, Sheldon." Leonard said, shooting a tender smile in Amy's direction.

Then, they were gone.

Amy stood there awkwardly, dripping water on the tile. She had walked home in the rain, and wished that she had the foresight to bring an umbrella. She dared to meet Sheldon's intense gaze, noting how upset he looked.

Rising slowly, Sheldon took measured steps in Amy's direction.

"Amy…I was worried sick about you. I didn't know where you went, or…if you were coming back. You're soaking wet. You'll catch a cold. Please…let me take care of you." Sheldon whispered, his voice cracking.

Amy pursed her lips, the tears gathering again at the tenderness in Sheldon's voice.

"You can't catch a cold from the rain, Sheldon. You know that it's caused by germs." She whispered needlessly.

Sheldon didn't respond to her statement, but then again she hadn't expected him to.

"Amy…" Sheldon murmured, desperate to hold her.

Amy suddenly felt like her body weighed a thousand pounds; both from the sheer stress she carried and from exhaustion. In that moment, nothing else mattered but being protected and comforted by the man she loved.

"Sheldon…please hold me. I'm so cold." Amy begged, her voice faltering from hours of crying.

Sheldon didn't need to be asked twice. His face relaxed immediately and the relief coursing through him was palpable.

"Always," He promised, his own voice choked with tears. "I'll never let you go, if that is your wish."

Amy ran to Sheldon, and he immediately opened up his arms to catch her. He nearly fell over from the force of the impact, but didn't care as she broke down sobbing in his arms. She threw her arms around his waist in a crushing embrace. Sheldon reacted without thought, engulfing her smaller frame against his and wrapping his arms tightly around her back. He stroked her hair much like Penny had just done, whispering words of comfort and love to her. She was drenched from head to toe, and her soft skin felt like ice.

"I'm so sorry, Amy. Sorry for what you've been through, and sorry for keeping the truth from you. But I'm not sorry for trying to protect you. I didn't know what to do. I felt helpless. Please tell me that you forgive me. Please tell me that you still trust me." Sheldon begged her brokenly.

Amy cried harder. She didn't blame Sheldon. If anything, she loved him all the more for confronting her father and trying to protect her from any perceived threats.

"Oh, Sheldon. Of course I trust you. I know you were only trying to keep me safe. There's nothing to forgive." She said through hiccups, her entire body trembling.

Her words were spoken with sincerity and truth, yet Sheldon still feared that he'd ruined something between them.

"You can trust me. You know that, right? Please tell me that you know that," Sheldon begged. "I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you. I only wanted to protect you. You have to know how much you mean to me. I love you so much. So much, Amy." He kept whispering over and over, his arms tightening his grip on her.

Amy pulled back to meet his gaze, never doubting for a moment Sheldon's devotion to her.

"I trust you with not only my life, Sheldon. But my soul. I know you were only trying to help me. You're not to blame for this." She assured him, reaching out to run her fingers through his hair.

Sheldon closed his eyes in relief, his breath hitching in his chest.

"Oh, Amy. I didn't know what to do. When you left you were so upset. I wanted to follow you and make sure that you were alright. But I knew that you were serious when you told me to back off." Sheldon whispered sadly.

Amy nodded.

"Sheldon…I was upset. Very much so. And I needed time to figure out what to do. Thank you for respecting that. And for not smothering me." She whispered, burying her face in Sheldon's chest once again.

Sheldon leaned his chin down to rest on Amy's head, already beginning to undress her by peeling her wet coat from her shoulders. He hated the fact that she was shivering, and wanted to get her dry as soon as possible. Next came her blouse, as he pulled back slightly and began unbuttoning each button with care before peeling that off of her soaked skin as well. Moving on to her bra, he reached around and unhooked the contraption, letting the straps fall from her pale shoulders.

"Turn around." Sheldon ordered softly, reaching down to unzip her skirt when she obeyed him. He bent down on his haunches, taking the skirt and her slip with him. He threw the garments on top of the growing pile of wet clothing, for once unconcerned about the mess. Her panties were thankfully dry, so he left them on in case she felt too exposed. Walking the few paces over towards the couch, he pulled off the fluffy pink fleece blanket that she kept there and returned to her quickly, wrapping her in it and pulling her back against his warm body.

"Better?" He asked her huskily, his eyes roaming over her face trying to gauge her comfort level.

Amy nodded slowly, overwhelmed with love.

"Better." Amy squeaked out, closing her eyes in pleasure when Sheldon began to caress her back in long, comforting strokes.

They stood there holding one another for long moments, Chaucer moving to the den and settling on his bed as if to give them privacy. As the silence stretched on, and Amy quickly warmed up, Sheldon cleared his throat to catch her attention. Amy met his inquisitive gaze, raising a brow at him.

"What happens now?" Sheldon asked her cautiously. "What do you want to do, Amy?"

Amy inhaled deeply, blowing it out through pursed lips.

"What do I want?" Amy echoed, not entirely certain about that herself. "What do you think I should do?" She wondered aloud.

Sheldon's brows rose, and he pondered her request seriously.

"I can't tell you what to do, Amy. Or how to feel. I think that you know that. But… if you do not want bitterness and regret to consume you, then I can tell you from personal experience that forgiveness is the only option. No matter what you decide or what you need, I will be here with you. I promise." Sheldon whispered tenderly, stroking Amy's cheek.

Amy's lip quivered, and she nodded at her boyfriend. After a moment, she spoke the words that she knew would forever change their fate.

"How do I get in touch with him?" Amy asked softly.

Sheldon smiled tentatively at her, and it was then that Amy knew that forgiving Adam was the right thing to do.

"Adam gave me his number. And he has mine. He told me that he'll take his cues from us. If and when you're ready to speak to him, he'll be waiting." Sheldon said.

Amy sighed, wrapping the blanket around herself tighter. All she wanted to do was slide into their big bed, with Sheldon there to keep her warm. It was late, and she wanted to stop thinking altogether for a few hours. But she knew that she would never be able to sleep tonight if she didn't have a plan.

Resolutely, she opened her mouth and was unsurprised with what came out. She knew herself better than anyone. She may have had her doubts earlier, but now that the smoke had cleared, she was certain that she would do her level best to allow her father to explain. It was who she was; a forgiving person who loved deeply. Perhaps that was Sheldon's influence. Perhaps it was Drew's. It didn't matter now. All that did matter, was moving on and finding some peace. For all of them.

"If…when…my father calls… tell him that I want to see him. Here." Amy whispered.

Sheldon swallowed harshly.

"Amy…are you sure? Are you ready for that?" He asked her tenderly, running his fingers through her damp hair.

Amy didn't break his gaze, gathering strength from his nearness. Sheldon had made it through the fire after he had discovered the truth about his own paternity. If he could do it, then so could she. She had his love and his support. That was all that she needed, anyway.

Mirroring his actions, Amy stroked his cheek in return. Sheldon closed his eyes, drinking in her touch.

"I'm very sure, Sheldon. Everything happens for a reason. There are two sides to every coin…" She murmured, remembering Michelle's words.

Sheldon nodded slowly, leaning down to place his forehead against Amy's.

"You know that I will support you and be there for you. No matter what." Sheldon promised, his voice a tender whisper. "You are my first and only priority, Amy. I stand with you, and no other."

Amy slipped her arms around Sheldon's neck as she ran her nose across his cheek.

"I know that, Sheldon. Thank you." She whispered.

Sheldon engulfed Amy in his arms, the relief at having her home overwhelming.

"I love you, Amy." He murmured into her hair, everything else falling away as she tightened her arms around his back.

"I love you, too." Amy whispered softly.

The couple held each other tightly for what seemed an eternity, before walking hand in hand to their bedroom. Sheldon dried Amy's hair carefully, having her sit on the bed while he sat behind her and brushed her hair free of water and tangles. When that task was finished he urged her to lay down on her stomach, telling her to stay put while he went to light some candles around the room. Amy obeyed his request, too exhausted to argue. When he returned with a warm towel and some massage oil, Amy sighed thickly.

"Relax." Sheldon murmured in her ear, sliding her long hair out of the way before depositing a good size amount of oil in his palm and rubbing his hands together to warm it.

Amy sighed as he made contact with her chilled skin and aching muscles, her eyes slipping shut as he rubbed her back in soothing Swedish strokes designed to relax her even further.

"That feels incredible. So nice." Amy moaned in contentment, her body melting into the bed as Sheldon's large hands worked their magic on her flesh.

Sheldon massaged every inch of Amy's back, neck, and shoulders gently. Though his sensuous touch nearly bordered on erotic, Amy never once felt like he was doing this for any reason other than to make her feel good. Her love for him only grew as he moved further down the bed, massaging her legs and feet with the same care. When it was finished, it was nearly two o'clock in the morning. She was dry, warm, and more relaxed than she'd been in weeks.

Sheldon quietly rose from the bed, walking over to Amy's lingerie drawer and unearthing her favorite nightie. It was long and warm, with ruffles that reminded him of a bygone era. He returned to Amy, who had by now turned over and was sitting up watching him with adoring and grateful eyes.

"Lift up your arms," He murmured, his gaze flickering down to her chest a moment. Her naked breasts swayed with the movement, and Amy shyly looked away as Sheldon drew the garment over her head. His fingers grazed the sides of her breasts as he lowered it down, covering her in its comforting warmth.

"There. All better." He whispered huskily, moving her aside to pull down the comforter.

Amy hummed in agreement, settling in to the warm sheets which felt like bliss. She watched on as Sheldon pulled his shirt over his head, exposing his delicious chest to her vision. He pulled off his trousers, depositing them on the chair before going to his own drawer for a pair of pajama pants. Slipping them on, he crawled under the covers next to his beloved and pulled her closer to him.

"I'm so grateful that you're home safe. I missed you, Amy. I love you." Sheldon whispered, leaning his cheek down to nuzzle Amy's.

Amy sighed in agreement, nestling closer to him. They fell into an exhausted sleep, wrapped around each other like vines.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sheldon sat alone at the dining room table, drinking a cup of mint tea. Chaucer sat at his feet, his inquisitive eyes scanning his Master curiously. He sensed that something was wrong in his domain, as his Master and Mistress had spent the night curled around one another and strange, whimpering sounds were emanating from the female that he had loved since as far back as he could remember. He hated seeing her so distressed, wanting to jump up on the bed and cuddle with her to make her feel better. But his Master seemed to have everything under control, as her tears and wails calmed down and she had soon fallen into a deep sleep.

The Physicist looked down when Chaucer whined quietly to catch his attention, smiling at his pet and bending over to scratch him behind the ear.

"This isn't going to be an easy day, boy. We'll both have to be there for her once this is over. Okay?" Sheldon asked, earning a whimper of agreement from the soft hearted giant.

Just then, the doorbell rang, jolting Sheldon out of his thoughts. He immediately looked out towards the lake, his gaze zeroing in on Amy. She was sitting on one of the couches out there, lost in thought as her eyes were fixed on the water. She had been out there nearly all day, and Sheldon hadn't had the heart to disturb her. She had cried on and off all night, and he knew that it was as much for what she had learned about her family history as it was for the future ahead. He had no doubt that Adam Fowler was sincere in his desire to make amends. He could only hope that Amy was able to forgive him for his lifelong deception to her.

If he had learned anything over the last ten months of therapy, it was that pushing through a trial and emerging in one piece only made you stronger. It seemed that this was Amy's time to endure this test, and he would be there for her as she was for him.

True to his word, Adam had called earlier that morning as he told Sheldon he would. When Sheldon delivered Amy's message to him about coming over to their home for a talk, he could have sworn that he heard Adam gasp nervously.

Sheldon sighed heavily, knowing that this would not be easy for neither Amy nor Adam. This meeting was going to happen, whether they were ready for it or not. Sheldon took a deep breath and walked towards the door, opening it cautiously. It was strange to see Adam Fowler on the other side. The two men stood still as they stared at each other, Sheldon offering Amy's father a cordial smile.

"Dr. Fowler…welcome. Please, come in." He urged quietly, stepping aside so that Adam could enter.

Adam smiled tremulously in reply, stepping over the threshold with a heavy step. His eyes took in his surroundings, impressed with how warm and inviting his daughter's home was. The muted, soft colors of pink and grey were dominant here, along with soothing cream. She took after her mother in that regard, Adam reflected, as he gazed at the tasteful artwork that adorned her walls.

All of a sudden, Adam noticed the very large, imposing dog which came to stand by Sheldon's side. He nearly reached Sheldon's hip, which was saying something as the man was at least 6'2. The dog was eyeing him wearily, sniffing the air as though he sensed this man's DNA matched that of his mistress.

"Is this Chaucer?" Adam murmured quietly, afraid to disturb the giant.

Sheldon nodded, his own gaze meeting that of his dog.

"Yes. This is Amy's…our…dog Chaucer. He is very gentle, so don't feel intimidated." Sheldon said soothingly, reaching a hand down to stroke Chaucer's neck. It was mere months ago that he himself was terrified of the dog, and he marveled at how much he trusted his pet now.

Adam noticed how the stroking made Chaucer's eyes roll backwards in pleasure. He wondered if it was merely because of the attention that he was receiving, or for the fact that it was Sheldon offering it. He smiled warmly at the two males which had obviously made his daughter so happy.

"He's a gorgeous dog. Amy always wanted a Great Dane. I don't know why, exactly. From what I can imagine, they must be quite the handful due to their size." Adam stated ruefully.

Sheldon looked up, pursing his lips.

"Well…that is subjective. Anyone can be a handful, no matter their size." He pointed out, giving Chaucer a final pet before the dog scampered off to his den to rest. The two men watched him leave before they turned their attention back to one another.

"Amy is waiting for you. Out by the lake." Sheldon offered, cutting to the chase. He pointed his chin in the direction beyond the glass slider.

Adam nodded, biting his lip thoughtfully. It didn't escape Sheldon's notice that Adam didn't follow his gaze toward the lake. The older man looked down at his feet, shuffling back and forth uncertainly. Sheldon realized in that moment how terrified Adam was at the prospect of finally seeing his daughter after all of this time, and he felt a pang of sympathy for him.

"Dr. Fowler…it will be alright." Sheldon said kindly.

Adam attempted to smile, but it fell flat.

"Thank you, Dr. Cooper. I…well, I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a little afraid." The older man admitted honestly.

Sheldon nodded in understanding.

"I know, Dr. Fowler. That is perfectly understandable. But you're doing the right thing." He assured the older man, offering him a reassuring smile.

Sheldon walked towards the patio door, with Adam following tentatively on his heels. When they reached the glass, Sheldon turned back around and fixed him with an intensive gaze. His previous easy going manner was gone, replaced with determination and caution.

"I didn't make a mistake in bringing you back into Amy's life…did I?" Sheldon asked poignantly, his eyes practically begging the older man to prove him wrong.

Adam's gaze shifted from Sheldon's to a beautiful, antique upright piano which faced the lake, photo frames of all sizes adorning its top. Pictures of Sheldon and Amy. Sheldon and Chaucer. Amy and Chaucer. The couple with a large group of young people that Adam assumed were close friends. He recognized Sheldon's shorter friend from the other day in one of them, his arms wrapped around a beautiful blonde's waist. There was a picture of what appeared to be Sheldon and his family at a wedding. Pictures of Amy and Andrew, both recent and while they were at Harvard. A lovely graduation picture of the pair which made Adam's eyes water.

And sitting front and center, lovely and magnificent, were three pictures of Lily.

Adam drew in a breath sharply, not expecting to see his late wife's visage displayed so prominently in Amy's home. He had no idea where she had procured such treasures, and honestly, felt even worse than he had ten minutes ago. He should have been the one to gift her with pictures of her mother. Him. Her father. But he had given up the right to be called that long ago. He only hoped that she could forgive him now for his terrible, selfish actions.

Adam noticed with grief that the one person missing from those photos was him. And it was all his own doing. He had thrown away a lifetime of love with his child, because he was too much of a coward to own up to his mistakes.

Meeting Sheldon's waiting face, Adam smiled sadly.

"Is this piano Amy's?" He asked softly.

Sheldon frowned, but answered his question.

"Yes. It belonged to my grandmother. While we were at the cottage last December, Amy fell in love with it. She often played for me, and we'd sing together. When she left, I asked my Meemaw if Amy could have it." Sheldon admitted.

Adam nodded faintly.

"Why?" He asked, his voice a mere whisper.

Sheldon shrugged.

"Because. It belonged to her, in a way. As I said…she fell in love with it." Sheldon answered simply.

Adam's gaze swung to Sheldon's sharply.

"She fell in love, all right. She fell in love with you." He said, his tone reverent.

Sheldon didn't know how to respond to that, other than to nod.

"To answer your question…No. You haven't made a mistake, Dr. Cooper. Of that, I can guarantee." Adam promised sincerely, and his tone must have convinced Sheldon of that sincerity. He nodded solemnly at the man, opening the glass door and ushering Adam through it.

Sheldon began to walk towards the lake, where Amy was sitting by the fire pit. It was crackling away, its embers floating up into the late afternoon sky. It was only early fall, yet the weather had turned cooler already. Amy had her pale pink blanket wrapped around her shoulders to ward off the chill. Her gaze was fixed towards the water, and if she had heard them come out she made no move or acknowledged their presence so close by.

As Adam's eyes scanned the serene yard, they fell upon the lone figure sitting on one of the comfortable looking sofa's facing the lake. Even from this distance, he could clearly see the shine of her hair. The softness of her skin. His baby girl. His dear, sweet Amanda. It had been so, so long…

"Oh…" Adam whispered brokenly, stopping his momentum.

Sheldon turned around, their twin blue eyed gazes locking. Sheldon's reflected curiosity, while Adam's reflected helplessness. The Physicist saw the struggle in Adam's eyes, as the older man began to quietly sob.

"I don't know…how to do this, Dr. Cooper." Adam whispered truthfully.

Sheldon tilted his head, his heart touched by how vulnerable Adam seemed in that moment. He reached out, putting a comforting hand on Adam's shoulder. Adam turned to look at the hand resting there, his breath hitching at Sheldon's kind gesture.

"You can do this. You must. There is no other way. I promise you, Dr. Fowler…Amy is amazing. Trust her. Trust yourself. You owe it to the both of you to make amends. She needs her father. She needs you. I speak to you from a place of knowledge. The only way out, is through." Sheldon quoted.

Adam sighed heavily, nodding in agreement.

"Thank you, Dr. Cooper." He said thickly, stepping forward with wooden legs. He walked three paces before he realized that Sheldon had turned around and left him there alone. He watched as the younger man stepped back through the slider, giving him an encouraging wave before turning away.

Taking a much needed breath, he walked over to Amy with slow, measured steps. The closer he drew to her, the weaker he felt. It was as though all of his strength were being sapped out of him, and transferred to his daughter. Perhaps that was the way it should be. She needed answers. She needed the truth. And he was the only one that could give them to her.

Tiny sailboats and rowboats littered the lake, the sounds of young children laughing and dogs barking filling the air. It was a lovely place that his daughter had chosen to live. It was exactly the kind of place that her mother would have chosen, as well. Adam smiled sadly, biting his lip to stave off another round of sobs.

"Amanda?" Adam murmured as he reached her, keeping a respectable distance but close enough to detect the faint aroma of vanilla emanating from her.

Vanilla. She had always favored that scent…

Amy closed her eyes as the voice she hadn't heard in sixteen years surrounded her, its haunting timbre sounding familiar yet foreign at the same time. She turned around, meeting the eyes of her father. He looked older of course, and his shoulders had grown hunched a bit with age. The chestnut hair she remembered had lightened into pure white now, but his steely blue eyes were stunningly the same.

Adam gasped, visibly shaken as he gazed into his daughter's eyes. Amy rose from the sofa, allowing the blanket to slip from her graceful shoulders and onto the cushions. She had the same slight build as Lily, the same delicate bone structure. Her long hair was wavy and thick, though much darker than Lily's blonde locks. She had blossomed into a stunning beauty, shedding the awkwardness of youth. And he had missed it all.

A lone tear rolled down Adam's face, pooling into the crevice at the side of his mouth and making his lip burn.

"You're…beautiful. Just beautiful. Amanda…You look so much like your mother," He choked out.

Amy's mouth fell open. She hadn't heard him speak in so long. He had never willingly mentioned her mother to her, let alone that she resembled her. She had forgotten his voice and the slight British lilt that colored his words. He had always sounded so intelligent, so debonair. She used to wish that she had grown up in London, as well, so that she herself would have an accent.

His words finally registered with her, their meaning painfully clear. She reminded him of Lily, and always had. Everything fell into place, finally, as to why he had kept her at a distance her entire life.

"Really?" She asked him, self-consciously fumbling with her blouse.

Adam watched his daughter with soft eyes.

"Yes. Really. You are simply resplendent, dear girl. But then, you always were. Your mother would be so proud of you." He whispered, his gaze adoring.

Amy watched him closely, realizing for the first time in her life that the look he was giving her now had always been there. She had mistaken it for indifference when what it really was, was awe.

Awe, at how alike she was to her mother. And awe, at how much must have loved her. Amy shifted on her feet, shyness overcoming her. She had never in her thirty-one years heard her father praise her so. It was a foreign feeling, but not altogether unwelcomed.

"That's…nice to know. Thank you for telling me that." Amy said softly, blushing at the fact Adam continued to gaze at her openly.

They hadn't addressed one another formally yet, as Amy knew it fell to her to open up the introductions. This was her home, after all. And, she had invited him here. Taking two steps closer, she bowed her head in a welcoming gesture.

"Hello. Thank you for coming today." Amy whispered cordially, not sure what to even call him. Calling him dad sounded too familiar. Father sounded too formal. Adam sounded too disrespectful. Truthfully, Amy was at a loss of how to address him at all.

She wanted to say so much more, but asking him how he was doing or commenting on the weather seemed trite. She simply waited, surprising herself with how little anger and resentment she felt now that he was actually in front of her.

Adam reciprocated, seemingly feeling as out of place as she. He nodded his head respectfully.

"Hello, Amanda. Thank you for inviting me. It's very good to see you. I know that this must be extremely awkward for you. And…I realize there is much that you wish to say to me. I can assure you, I will listen to every word you have to say." Adam said with contrition.

Father and daughter openly sized one another up, each wondering the same thing: where do we go from here?

Amy nodded slowly, trying to keep her composure. Her eyes drifted beyond her father's figure to her house beyond, where she saw Sheldon discreetly watching their exchange through the slider. She smiled inwardly at how sweet he was to want to come to her rescue, should the need arise. Yet as she focused back on her father, she suddenly felt a calm sweep over her. What was done, was done. It was time to heal the rift now, as the Coopers and the Watson's had done. As the barista told her last night, she had two choices. Accept her lot, or change it.

Amy resolutely steeled herself. If she truly wanted to change the past, it would begin here and now.

"Would you like to have a seat? It's warmer by the fire pit. The late afternoons are beginning to grow chilly." Amy said matter-of-factly, urging Adam to make himself comfortable for this most uncomfortable meeting.

Adam eyed the plush lawn furniture, grateful that Amy's demeanor seemed to be welcoming.

"Thank you. That's very kind of you." He replied softly.

Adam lowered himself onto one of the couches, opting to sit across from her instead of next to her just in case his nearness made her feel uneasy. For the first time since coming out here, he noticed that there was a tray laden with a tea pot and cups on the table next to Amy's side of the sofa. She must have prepared that prior to his arrival, and his heart ached at how hospitable she was being.

"Your home is lovely. Being on the lake is quite charming. This property…it suits you." Adam said kindly.

Amy nodded, looking away wistfully.

"Thank you. I seem to have acquired an affinity for lakes recently." She said, a small smile tugging at her lips. Adam noticed it, and he smiled slightly as well.

"So I have heard." He offered good-naturedly, surprising Amy.

She turned her gaze back to him, wondering just exactly how much Sheldon had told him about how they had met. To divert the conversation away from such a personal topic, Amy leaned over and picked up the teapot that was sitting on the tray.

"Do you still prefer Earl Grey with milk and one sugar?" She asked quietly, her voice sounding so unsure. For all she knew, he was a coffee drinker now.

Adam smiled, nodding his head once.

"Always have, always will." He answered faintly, happy that she remembered how he took his tea.

He watched Amy pour the hot beverage, its steaming scents of black tea and bergamot reaching his nostrils and making his mouth water. She handed Adam the cup and saucer with a steady hand, and he was embarrassed to see that his hand trembled as he took it from her.

Amy's eyes trailed over her father's shaking digits, and she cleared her throat. At least this was as difficult for him as it was for her.

"Thank you, Amanda." He said gently, taking a much needed sip. He hoped that it calmed his nerves, which right now were thrumming wildly.

"You're welcome." Amy answered, sipping her own beverage quietly.

She marveled at how much her father had changed. He seemed gentler somehow now, as though the years had softened him. Gone was the hardness in his gaze, the stiffness in his demeanor. He watched her with a soft expression, unnerving her slightly.

A few moments passed in silence, only the chatter of the neighbors on the lake resonating. Adam leaned forward, putting his cup and saucer on the coffee table carefully.

"Amanda"- He began, but Amy automatically stopped him.

"Amy. I go by Amy now. I would prefer it if you call me that." She said a bit self-defensively, as though the memory of him calling her Amanda hurt her.

Adam sucked in his bottom lip, and Amy could tell her request wounded him somehow. Still he respected her wishes and nodded his head faintly.

"Alright…Amy. You know, when you were about nine or ten, you made me breakfast in bed for Father's Day. You brought it to my room and jumped on my bed, scaring the living daylights out of me. You asked me if you could have a sip of my tea. I remember handing you the mug, and you sniffed it as though it were poisonous. It was the first time that you had ever tasted Earl Grey. You said that the tea tasted like flowers. Do you remember that?" Adam asked her suddenly, his eyes narrowing as he conjured up the memory.

Amy bit her lip, the memory still fresh in her mind. She might not have possessed Sheldon's eidetic memory, but some things had stayed with her, no matter what.

"I remember." Amy whispered sadly. "I remember, that I made you crumpets with clotted cream and marmalade. You said at the time that they were better than any English bakery's. We had a discussion about your upcoming trip to New York City for a medical symposium. And then, after breakfast…you didn't speak to me for the rest of the day. I had hoped that my gesture touched you enough to want to do something with me. It was Father's Day, after all. But you shut yourself up in den and I didn't see you again until the following evening." Amy said, a note of bitterness coloring her voice.

Adam sighed thickly, his brows furrowing in self-disgust. He ran one of his hands across the back of his neck, trying to dispel the tension there.

"Oh, Amy…I am so sorry. You were such a good girl. Far better than I ever deserved. I can't begin to tell you how much I mourn the way that I treated you." He sighed remorsefully.

Amy nodded solemnly, placing her cup down on the table as well. Sitting back, she crossed her arms loosely across her chest and studied the man who gave her life.

"What happened to you? What happened to us? Why did you feel the need to shut me out of your life? Why did you blame me for my mother's death? Did you really think that I was to blame?" Amy asked him, rapid fire.

Adam realized that it was done so because with each word spoken, her voice faltered a little more until it finally cracked entirely upon the last word.

Adam shifted in his seat uncomfortably, clasping his hands together. The need to reach out and hold his daughter was overwhelming.

"I…Good Lord in Heaven, Amy. I don't know why I behaved that way. Grief, I suppose. And guilt. So much guilt. I can't…it should never have happened. Any of it. Your mother's miscarriage. My affair. Your mother's death. The way I pushed you away. It was such an injustice. To all of us, but mostly you. I've ruined so many lives. I never imagined that I had it in me to do that. To just…harm the ones I loved so deeply. Your dear mother. Edward and Constance. You. And…Andrew." Adam lamented.

Amy closed her eyes, inhaling sharply at the reminder that Drew was Adam's son.

"Tell me. Everything. I want to hear it from you. Sheldon told me most of it, but I want to know your side of the story. Make me understand. Give me the chance that you didn't give my mother; the chance to forgive you. If that is truly what you want." Amy said passionately.

Tears gathered in Adam's eyes as he shook his head in acceptance.

"It is, darling girl. I promise you. I adored your mother, Amy. I still do. I find myself looking around for her sometimes, as though she is still there. It takes me a few moments to realize that she's been gone all along, and isn't coming back. I never meant to hurt her. I never meant to endanger her life by getting her pregnant again so soon after her miscarriage. Having my child was the one thing I knew that she wanted, more than anything. More than me, even. I didn't use your conception as a way to make amends. Lily wanted you. I wanted you. I loved you the second I learned of your existence. Please know that. Know that you were always loved, though my callous behavior said otherwise." Adam cried pitifully.

Amy nodded, swiping a few tears away which had begun to fall swiftly.

"Sheldon said that you never told my mother about Constance…about having an affair with her. Is that true?" Amy asked fearfully.

Adam nodded his head in the affirmative.

"No. I never told her, Amy. I should have, maybe. But I just couldn't. Especially when we had reconciled, growing even closer after discovering that you were on the way. I debated about it a million times. Warred with myself. But in the end, I reasoned what purpose would it have served. I feared hurting her so deeply that she would never recover emotionally. Why hurt the ones we love, simply to exonerate ourselves from our sins? I couldn't bear to hurt her so, especially when it was an accident. I was going to take the secret to my grave, with only myself living with the grief of it. The Prince's assured me rather coldly that they would never mention it to anyone. They had their own bubble of society to contend with, and the scandal would have put them in gossips path. Besides…as cold as Edward was to his wife, he truly loved her. I suppose he forgave her, knowing that his neglect drove her to seek comfort elsewhere. Once you were born, and I lost Lily, I hated myself so badly that I couldn't even face you. You were a reminder of what I'd sacrificed out of selfishness. I felt like a murderer; one who had taken away your mother. I never was one to believe in God. But at that moment, I had never felt his damning presence more. I shut you out, and in the process, made you believe a terrible lie, Amy. You were not to blame for your mother's death. You were only a helpless, innocent baby. I loved you like nothing else in the Universe. I still do. My only wish, is to see you happy. I don't deserve your forgiveness. But…I crave it. I can't do this anymore; pretend that I didn't make such a horrible mistake. It's killing me. Perhaps I deserve to suffer. But my dear girl…I am not an evil person. I was a good person, who found himself in a bad situation. I never meant to hurt anyone, least of all you." Adam said softly, tears clogging his throat.

Amy's tears began to fall faster and faster as she watched this pitiful shell of a man before her.

"Did you…love Constance? Were you considering leaving my mother?" Amy asked painfully.

Adam shook his head vehemently, balking at the prospect.

"No, Amy. Never. I loved your mother so deeply that it hurt. It was a mistake. A dreadful, ill-timed mistake. I don't even know how or why it happened, it just did. Constance and I both had been drinking, commiserating on our problems. I was grieving and lonely, and Lily was grieving and lonely, as well. Instead of turning to each other, we drifted apart. I think…well, I think that we were so afraid of letting each other down, that we couldn't bear to admit to one another how grief-stricken we each were. Constance and I…it was unplanned. We didn't premeditate it. It happened so fast…and afterward, I just wanted to disappear. It happened only once, and because we were careless…well, you can imagine the rest. She was my best friend's wife. How cliché…I lost him after that, and he never spoke to me again. He agreed to raise Drew as his own, though. For that, I am grateful." Adam whispered.

Amy swallowed roughly.

"Weren't my mother and Constance friends, as well? Wasn't Lily suspicious when Constance began showing?" Amy asked.

Adam shook his head in the negative.

"They were friends, but not as close as Edward and I. Soon after it…happened…The Prince's moved to Washington D.C. until Drew began high school. I made the excuse that Edward and I had a falling out over some trivial matter. Lily had no idea that Constance was pregnant. As far as I know, they hadn't even know that Lily passed away. At least, not until they had moved back to Boston and you met Drew at Harvard. You could imagine my shock that first day I came to visit you at school, and discovered that Drew was your dorm mate. It was like my sins were coming back to haunt me. I could not believe the cruel joke that fate was playing on me." Adam admitted brokenly.

Amy sighed, shaking her head at the irony of it all.

"That's why you never came back, and why you broke ties with me, isn't it? Because that first trip home for Christmas break, I gushed about Drew and how happy I was to have met him. You felt helpless, and thought your secret would be outed." Amy stated knowingly.

Adam nodded slowly, unable to meet her penetrating gaze.

"Yes. I was afraid, Amy. So very afraid. I worried that the Prince's had maneuvered the whole thing, to finally take revenge on me. And…I felt that since you and Drew had found one another, that maybe it was best if I left the picture. You seemed so happy, and I knew if I told you that you couldn't see him it would raise suspicions. My only option, in my mind, was to bow out of your life. That first month, after I came to visit you…it was Andrew who answered the door to your dorm room. I took one look at him, and I thought that God was going to strike me down for what I'd done. It was as though I was in the middle of some ironic Greek tragedy. You and your brother had found one another, and had become thick as thieves. I was afraid that I had lost you completely after that." Adam murmured.

Amy gaped at her father incredulously.

"Didn't you ever worry that Drew and I might…well, become romantically involved? That would have been catastrophic. What if we had fallen in love? Or experimented sexually with one another? You knew that he was my half-brother. The outcome could have been devastating." Amy said angrily.

Adam closed his eyes.

"Of course the thought crossed my mind, Amy. Because I learned early on that Andrew was gay, I hoped and prayed nothing would ever blossom between you both. I knew it wouldn't, because Edward and Constance wouldn't allow it. They watched you very closely; for I'm certain that they wondered themselves if you knew the truth, and would unearth their own deception to their son to him." Adam explained quietly.

Amy nodded, closing her eyes tightly.

"Well…it didn't. We never…harbored any romantic feelings towards one another." Amy trailed off, thanking God or the Universe or Fate that no such thing ever occurred.

"Thank heavens for that." Adam reiterated.

Amy thought of Edward and Constance Prince suddenly, and how kind they always were to her. Was it possible that they only pretended to like her? Amy scooted closer to her father, catching his eye.

"I know the Prince's very well. I've spent holidays at their home. I've taken trips to their Cape Cod mansion with Drew. How could they have allowed us to even be friends, knowing that my father fathered Drew?" Amy asked incredulously.

Adam shrugged, running his hand across his tired eyes.

"I don't know, Amy. Perhaps, it was Constance's way of repenting. By allowing you both to have the other in their respective lives, without knowing the truth." Adam reasoned.

Amy sat back, sighing thickly.

"Perhaps Drew and I both suspected something. At least, in our guts. A sixth sense, if you will. We have been close since the moment we met." Amy whispered.

"Perhaps." Adam agreed, the likelihood that their shared bond was too strong to ignore.

Amy inhaled sharply.

"I have to tell him. He needs to hear this from me. You do understand that, don't you?" She asked her father seriously, her tone brooking no argument.

Adam nodded solemnly.

"Yes, Amy. I know. But if you tell him…the Prince's will most likely despise you. For you'll not only be uncovering my deception, but theirs as well. It's obvious that they didn't want this secret out any more than I did." Adam said gravely.

Amy thought about that a moment, knowing that the secrets had to end one way or the other. Drew might not take the news well, but he deserved to know.

"That is a risk that I'm willing to take. He deserves to know the truth. What happens then…is up to him. The lies and deceptions have to stop. It's far past time." Amy said softly, shocking them both by reaching out and placing her soft palm on top of Adam's.

He looked down at the hand on his own, wishing that he could go back in time and change the wrongs that he'd done. His watery gaze met that of his daughter's, and he was afraid to hope that what he saw in her depths was forgiveness. Suddenly, the floodgates opened and he couldn't control the emotions soaring through him.

"Please…I beg you to forgive me. I know that there is no way to make up for what I have done to you. What I've cost you. I've made you suffer for thirty years because I was a coward. Oh, Amanda…I don't want to be a coward anymore. Please tell me there is a chance that you could look upon me with something more than hatred. Please tell me that I have some chance to win back your love. I want so badly to be the father that you deserve. Tell me what to do. I'll do anything," Adam begged, leaning his head down upon their clasped hands.

Amy gasped, her father's wet tears soaking her skin and rolling down to drip upon her skirt. Amy's heart knocked in her chest, Adam's pleas touching her deeply.

"I'm afraid. Afraid to trust you. Afraid to believe that you love me as much as you are alluding you do." Amy admitted brokenly, her own tears saturating her cheeks. "You kept everything about my mother a secret, as though she never even existed. You hid her pictures. You never told me that she was a published author. My boyfriend's father had to discover the truth for me. Do you know how that made me feel?" She wailed brokenly.

Adam looked up at met her frightened face, trying desperately to show her how remorseful he was over his actions. He suddenly remembered something; the only thing in that moment that he could prove to her that he did love her.

"I should never have done such a thing. At the time, it was too painful to even think about your mother let alone look at her pictures. I am so very sorry, Amy. Not a day passed in my life when you weren't consuming my thoughts. I let you go, because I didn't think that you needed me. I was a spent force; a husk of a man and guilty as sin. You were blossoming into a butterfly. So intelligent, so lovely. I wanted you to shake off the baggage of me and just…shine." Adam said with remorse.

Amy sobbed quietly, wiping her eyes gently.

"You're wrong. I would have shined brighter, had I known that you loved me. I needed you. And you just left me." Amy cried.

Adam's breathe quivered, and Amy watched in fascination as the tears in his eyes spilled over and rolled down his cheeks.

"I want you to know something…it wasn't your mother who wanted to name you Amanda. It was I. It was my idea." Adam said shakily.

Amy cocked her head, studying her father.

"But…why?" She asked quietly. "What significance did that name hold?"

Adam drew in a gulp of air.

"Because…not only did it mean something beautiful…'worthy of love'…it was an anagram of my own name, Adam. Amanda…I wanted my baby girl to share my name. Because when I saw you on the sonogram, I fell instantly in love with you. Don't you know, my dearest girl, that the day of your birth was the most beautiful, and yet devastating days of my life? I had gained a daughter and lost a wife in the span of an hour. You are the only thing I have left of her, Amy. And I've watched you from afar all of these years, hating myself for my terrible choices which ruined your life. When I discovered the opportunity to put in a good review for you at Caltech, I jumped at the chance. I wanted nothing more than to be near you, even if you never wanted to see me again." Adam whispered, daring to reach up and wipe some stray tears away from Amy's cheek. To his relief and shock, she let him.

Amy bit her lip self-consciously.

"You really love me? You're not just trying to save your soul or assuage you guilt?" Amy asked him gently, holding her breath as she waited for his answer.

Adam laughed bitterly in remorse.

"Oh, Amy. My soul may be eternally damned. I can accept that. But what I cannot accept, is losing you forever." He whispered sincerely.

Amy thought of everything that had conspired to reach this point. Leaving Boston. Meeting Sheldon. Moving to California. Meeting the gang, and having a group of friends who were like family. And of course…Drew. The fact that he was here now solidified the fact that her life was perfect. Perhaps Sheldon was right. Forgiveness heals the forgiver. It was time.

Leaning over, Amy tentatively put her hands on her father's shoulders.

"You never lost me, Dad. I've always been right here. I needed you so much. I was lost without you for so long. But I made it through. I survived. And after meeting Sheldon…I know what true love looks like. I forgive you. You didn't ruin my life. I'm right where I need to be, with the people I need to be with. I forgive you for being weak and succumbing to misguided passion. I forgive you for abandoning me. And I forgive you for allowing me to think the worst about you. Thank you for finally being honest with me. The truth is far less ugly than any lie, because it comes from the heart. If you have faith in those that you love, than the light of the truth will conquer the darkness of deception." Amy said with conviction.

Adam pulled her against him, hugging her tightly.

"I am so proud of you, Amy. So very proud. You are the smartest person I have ever met. How you came from me, I will never know. You need to know this: Your mother adored you. She was so damn happy when she found out that she was pregnant again. Each day that you grew inside of her, she came more and more alive. She was like the Sun. Her beauty blinded me. And that was all because of you. You were the best part of her, Amy. The part that lives on. I swear to you, that I will do everything in my power to prove that to you." Adam whispered, stroking her hair gently.

Father and daughter clung to one another, thirty years of regret, deceit, and devastation melting away. The moments passed as the sun set lower in the sky, the air turning colder by the second. It was all forgotten as they took comfort from one another, giving it back and filling each other with hope. When they finally pulled apart, Adam wiped the tears from underneath his daughter's eyes with gentleness. His eyes strayed to the house, where he swore he saw Sheldon hurry away from the glass wiping his own eyes.

"You have found a wonderful man in your young Dr. Cooper. He is a remarkable man. And he loves you very much. He certainly put me in my place. I respect the hell out of him for that." Adam said, chuckling a watery laugh.

Amy smiled softly, chuckling as well.

"I know that he loves me. He is the finest man that I've ever met. I'm very fortunate to have him." Amy whispered.

Adam smiled gently at the love in his daughter's voice.

"You love him."

Amy's face softened at that, and Adam couldn't help but smile at the way her love for that man transformed her into an even more beautiful creature.

"Very much. More than my own life." Amy whispered.

Adam nodded, pulling back to pat Amy's hands.

"I'd say he is the fortunate one, Amanda." Adam said with reverence.

Amy nodded shyly, looking down. Adam sighed, studying his daughter.

"Is…Can there ever be a way to mend what I've broken? What can I do, to make this right?" Adam implored.

Amy looked up into the blue eyes of the man that was once her hero, and she shrugged.

"You've made the first move. You've given me a great gift today. I'd say that is a start. The rest will come in time." Amy said quietly.

Adam let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Are you sure? I would understand if you weren't." Adam admitted fearfully.

Amy rose, walking the short distance down to the lake. Adam followed her, hanging behind a few feet.

"I don't want to live the rest of my life without a father. I've missed you my entire life. I too am sorry. I should have told you how I felt years ago. Perhaps you would have known how much I loved you, if I had been honest. We've both made mistakes. I think that it's time to forgive and move forward. I want to get to know my father. I want us to be friends, and share the good as well as the bad. Is that what you want? To get to know me as well?" Amy sobbed out, turning to face her father.

Adam exhaled shakily.

"More than anything, my dear." Adam whispered, opening up his arms for his daughter.

Amy walked into them cautiously, once again holding on to the security of her father's embrace. They hugged one another tightly, Amy gathering his strength and returning it back to him mixed with her own.

It would be different this time. It would be better. Accept your fate, or change it. For once, Amy Farrah Fowler was going to change it.

"I love you, Dad. Welcome home." Amy cried, burying her face in Adam's collar.

Adam sobbed, clutching his baby girl to his chest. It seemed so simple now, the solution so clear. He had wasted a lifetime fearing the truth, and running from his guilt. When all along, the only thing he needed to do was have faith in his Amanda. She was the best part of Lily. The best part of them both. Thank god, he wasn't too late to make amends. He would see his beautiful daughter marry one day…perhaps gifting him with grandchildren. And Drew…

He could only hope that even if Drew did not want to acknowledge him as his father that he would forgive him. Whatever happened, Amy was right. He had made the first move. The rest would take care of itself.

Adam's eyes drifted shut, as he took in this most precious moment into his heart and soul. He felt absolved in a way that he never could have hoped for.

"Amanda…my hero. My champion. You are far wiser than I could ever hope to be. I will never doubt my faith in you again. I swear it. I love you." Adam whispered into Amy's hair, and was heartened when Amy tightened her grip around his back, clutching him tighter.

No more words needed to be said. Her gentle touch spoke of forgiveness, and it was all that he needed to hear.

He was home.

Finally.

A/N – Thank you for reading. Much of this story is autobiographical, as I still struggle with my own mother's death when I was a child and my father's breakdown as a result of it. Forgiveness isn't easy, but it is necessary. Some may not have the capacity to forgive, but in my case, I was lucky. Later as an adult, I was able to have a loving relationship with my father. In the end, all that matters is how we choose to deal with the hand we are dealt. I hope this chapter was worth the wait. X