-AARON & JACKSON-
– DESIRE –
"Stop And Stare"
So, a bit of a time jump here, my previous plans for this changed at the last minute, was really weird cause I was set on doing what was planned until I came to write this but never mind lol here is this idea. Thanks for your continued support!
August 23rd 2011
Jackson sighed as he looked at the calendar on the fridge door.
One year to the day that Aaron left the village, he hadn't contacted anyone. After it became clear that he wasn't coming back Jackson moved back into Dale Head. He couldn't stay in Smithy Cottage forever and Paddy had a woman in his life and he couldn't be around that, it wouldn't have been fair.
Over the last year Jackson hadn't moved on and found anyone else, his heart still belonged to Aaron despite the anger and bitterness that had built up toward him. Jackson hadn't went in search for him, he had no idea where to look, he could have been anywhere in the world.
Despite all of this he'd made a good home in Emmerdale, friends, he considered David one of his best mates he hoped he felt the same, others like Paddy, Marlon, Declan, the Sharma's. Jackson was a well liked man. He remembered a comment from Declan. 'It's nice to see a side of you without Aaron at your side' Every time Jackson remembered that he smiled because Declan was right, when Aaron was around, he was his only focus. With him sadly gone and obviously not returning anytime soon he mingled more and as time went on, he didn't forget about his boyfriend instead the feelings he had turned negative, verging on hate.
Jackson walked to the front door and opened it; it was a red hot sunny summer's day, his eyes narrowed at the differing brightness from inside of the house to outside. He watched as David ran across the road. "You still on for that drink tonight?"
Jackson walked down the path a few metres and stopped in front of him. He nodded. "Yeah, yeah sure, who else is coming?"
David scratched his forehead as he thought. "Declan, Nikhil, Andy, think that's it, Adam's away I think so yeah just those three and us"
Jackson grinned. "Cool, where is Adam anyway?"
David pouted and shrugged. "No idea mate, right I better get back to the shop, just wanted to check with ya" he smiled.
"No worries mate I'll catch you later"
David walked backwards. "Meeting at seven"
Jackson nodded and David turned and ran back over to the shop.
...
Adam stood in front a set of double doors that could be opened up but was blocked immediately by a steel barrier for safety. The flat was almost at the top of the building it overlooked the river and the surrounding city, which was beautiful from the view. Adam pinched his lower lip as he was transfixed by the sunlight glistening on the water below, then he let out a heavy sigh and turned and looked at his battered and bruised friend.
"You've got to come home Aaron"
"I' am home Adam" he replied quietly, a deep purple bruise surrounded his swollen upper lip.
Adam shook his head slightly. "No, no it's not, you ran away Aaron"
Aaron's head shot up. "Yeah and for good reason"
"But it's been a year mate, come on for god sake"
"I-I'm settled" he reasoned.
Adam simply had to look around, scrutinizing the sparse living area of the flat. He cocked an eyebrow. "Really?" he sighed, that wasn't important right now. "You wanna explain why I was called by the royal Victoria infirmary hospital yesterday afternoon; apparently I'm your next of kin"
Aaron nodded. "Because I gave them your number, to me you are so...I-I left it too long mate" Aaron shrugged.
"No, everyone else is in that village, but yeah you're right you are way overdue to come home" he sighed, his frustrations building. "What happened to cause this?" he flung his arms forward towards Aaron.
"Was just a bar fight and I was discharged wasn't I? I'll be fine" he snapped.
"Okay" Adam relaxed and sat down beside him. "You're right"
Silence fell upon them for a few minutes. "The constant phone calls and texts stopped six months ago, I felt good but sad at the same time. I should have gone home Adam..." he sighed. "I've been stupid I know, and I know why I didn't, I couldn't face seeing my mum getting hurt, I didn't want to hurt anyone and" he sighed. "Well everyone's better off without me aren't they?" he said sadly, his head bowed avoiding eye contact with Adam. "I'm just a letdown, always will be and" he scoffed causing his shoulders to jerk up quickly. "After everything I've done, I think they were due a break don't you?"
Adam tutted. "You're too hard on yourself, yeah alright I'll admit, if you did comeback the reception might be a bit frosty for a while but they'd be alright with you eventually"
Aaron knew that was true for almost everyone but maybe not Jackson. "Does he mention me?"
"...No" Adam told him hesitantly. "But I see it in his eyes, he's always thinking about you, your still there Aaron, he loves you"
Aaron sighed and stood up, anger flashing in his eyes. "Why can't I just be normal!" he exclaimed, and paced as he placed his hand on his forehead.
Adam smirked. "No one is normal mate, for example you, well you were straight, hated gays, yet you are gay, I turned Bi and fell in love with a mardy arse" he chuckled slightly and Aaron turned to him while shaking his head with a smirk planted across his lips. "Straight is considered the normal way, nothing is normal, and nobody is, yo-" he sighed. "You're just you mate, your own person and yes you've made mistakes, could have done things differently but it's all in the past now, if you want any chance of being with Jackson or any of your family again then you need to come back with me and try, and don't stop trying until you succeed, they will be alright eventually mate"
"Ohh I dunno" he groaned.
"Aaron!" Adam raised his voice. "What do you want?"
"I-I" he bit his lip. "I want Jackson"
"Well then get what little stuff you have packed and we'll leave" Adam told him.
...
Jackson's day was spent running, something Nikhil had got him into. Jackson was noticeably fitter than he'd ever been before and when he did make an appearance in bar west, he was a head turner or so Adam had said anyway, he shook it off, but he knew his body was completely muscle and he liked it a lot. He stopped running along the country road back to Emmerdale, he'd been out all afternoon, and he was going out in just over an hour, he was covered in sweat there were patched on his tight top, he took a few minutes breather and carried on, the home stretch.
Late! Jackson was never late but he had been this time and he walked into the packed pub where the guys were lining the bar waiting for him. "Sorry, been out running, only got back home about an hour ago" he spoke louder over the noise.
"It's alright, we were about to send out a search party though" Declan smiled and handed him a pint.
"Cheers mate" he took the pint and took a long sip. He smiled, that went down well. It's what he needed after that run, although the eye from Nikhil clearly said 'kinda defeats the object mate'
Jackson smirked and shrugged at him then Nikhil broke a smile. "So how many today?" Nikhil asked. Jackson had to think about that. "Off my head...err...fifteen miles?" he shrugged.
"Slacking mate" Nikhil teasingly shook his head in disapproval.
"Hey! Just cause I don't wear one of those monitor things, I'm not that into it, but I'm fit and healthy that's all that matters" he grinned.
"But yet you're single" Andy frowned then grinned.
"Pot kettle..." Jackson chuckled.
"Ouch..." David said. "And the banter begins, here's to a good night boys!" he raised his pint glass and they all clinked them together.
...
The pub was busy, every villager could have possibly turned out, weekends were always crazy, but it was Chas' night off. She, Paddy and Hazel sat around one table, chatting and laughing and some parts of the conversation changed to Jackson, about how he had changed and gotten over things eventually and made friends and just got on with life. It was a tough road to get to that point. "Maybe he just woke up one morning and thought sod it, he has, I will" Chas explained with a shrug.
Hazel nodded. "He probably did love"
"Sometimes I wonder what got into his head, Aaron I mean" Paddy began.
"Oh Paddy" Chas nudged him. "Let's not go there not tonight Paddy preferably never" she sighed and raised her glass to her mouth and took a drink, over time everyone's attitude to Aaron had changed dramatically; they were angry and unimpressed with his actions and behaviour.
At first she understood why he'd gone, but now a year later, he should have been back in the village after a couple of months. He had no reason to stay away, she didn't want that. But now she thought that maybe it was best if he did stay away, she, Paddy and Jackson would always love him but maybe it was just for the best.
Paddy's journey to this frame of mind had taken the longest, only until two months ago he had thought the same way as the Dingle's and Jackson. Aaron just made him so angry.
Hazel and Paddy were brought from their thoughts when Chas let out an audible groan. Paddy frowned. "What's the matter?" he asked.
Chas rolled her eyes. "Carl"
"Ahh" Hazel nodded. "He needs to get a grip, I mean the wedding was Christmas day last year!" she shook her head.
"Well then please tell him that" Chas laughed.
"Good job you ditched him at the altar" Hazel smirked.
Chas did too and nodded, raising her glass ever so slightly then took a sip.
Paddy watched Carl, making eye contact, conveying a silent message, he hoped he got it.
"Well any man who forces my kid to do what he did isn't worth it, and what's even more sickening...he's his father" she spat, shivering disgustedly at the thought, how could anyone do that?
...
Ten pm, and the pub was still bustling with life. Jackson, Nikhil, David and Andy had now moved and were sat at a table, considerably drunk now. Hazel shook her head at them all, but pleased they were enjoying themselves. They were all as bad as each other, bringing shots back with each round.
When she turned back Hazel sighed. "Well I might aswell go and sit with Cain, I'd get more conversation out of him than I am with you two" she smirked.
Chas and Paddy looked at her, they'd been in a deep drunken conversation Paddy's arm was around her. They were in love, it was different than the last time and they both knew and felt it.
"Sorry Hazel" Chas slurred.
Hazel chuckled. "Your alright love I'll finish this and be off"
Paddy nodded. "Oh, you got any plans tomorrow?"
Hazel shook her head. "No, why?"
"I'm making Sunday dinner; you're welcome if you fancy it?"
Chas nodded eagerly. They were best buddies these days.
"Go on then, twisted my arm"
"Great, come round for one then"
"I look forward to it, oh...but no stuffing on mine, ugh...just doesn't agree with me" he lips curled, she looked disgusted at the thought of that splodge of slop on her plate.
Paddy chuckled. "No problem, remind me in the morning though" he nodded.
Chas sat looking around, she smiled as she watched people her eyes then glanced over to Jackson's table and then – her eyes widened and she swallowed hard, it felt like the alcohol in her body had gone, she was sober. "Aaron..."
Paddy frowned."What about him?"
Chas looked at him. "N-No...Aaron, h-he's here"
Paddy's frown deepened and he looked across the bar, and there he was, Adam stood behind him and eventually the pub quietened.
Aaron's heart pounded in his chest, now regretting making the big leap and coming to the pub first. He swallowed hard. As the pub quietened and all eyes were on him, he didn't know where to look. Diane and Alicia were behind the bar, John and Moira were sat to his right, David, Andy, Nikhil and Jackson were sat to his left. Zak and Lisa were sat at the other end of the pub, Carl, Cain, Debbie, Cameron Val and Eric near them, then his mum, Paddy and Hazel – to name a few. Every single person was looking at him. He began to sweat; he concentrated long enough to look at Jackson. Jackson looked away instantly. But what did he expect after waiting this long to return?
"Get out!" the familiar voice called to him, he turned his head and he focussed on Paddy, he sighed and felt like he'd been hit in the chest by something hard. He went to speak.
"I think that's for the best don't you?" Cain called to him from across the bar.
Aaron lowered his head and turned. "Come on mate" Adam whispered and he led him out of the pub.
Seconds later they both heard the pub door open and close again behind them. "Hey!" Paddy shouted, the tone in his voice was clear to Aaron – anger.
Aaron stopped and turned. He didn't know what to say, he knew they wouldn't be impressed but this seemed like more than being unimpressed. Why was he here again? He frowned. Oh yeah, for Jackson. Hmm well the odds of them happening were extremely low now.
"How dare you!" Paddy yelled as he approached.
"P-Pa..." Aaron stuttered, he couldn't find his voice.
"Don't!" Paddy shot him down. "You disappear with only a god damned letter for an explanation!" he was seething with anger. "And now you just decide to come back! Well tough, no one wants you! You shouldn't have come back Aaron! You say you went away so you didn't hurt anyone?"
Aaron's eyes stared at the ground.
"Well it didn't work because you left a lot of hurt behind!" Paddy almost growled. "That lad...Jackson? You remember him do ya?"
"Paddy..." Adam softly intervened.
"And you!" he pointed. "You knew you where he was all this time! Been in contact, and you knew how much Chas, Jackson and me were hurting!"
"It's not Adam's fault!" Aaron shot Paddy a look.
Jackson quickly walked out of the pub to retrieve Paddy by Chas' request. He walked quickly up behind him and took him by the arm, casting a rather blank look at Aaron as he did. "Come on mate" he pulled him away.
Paddy sighed angrily. What? Did he just think we'd be alright with him? He shook his head as he walked back to the pub.
"J-Jackson..." Aaron spoke and he watched Jackson shake his head.
"Come on Aaron" Adam told him and took him by the arm.
Aaron shook him off and shouted "Jackson!"
Jackson turned quickly. "DON'T! DON'T YOU DARE! Go back to your life and I will do the same!" he spat and spun around and walked into the pub.
Aaron sniffled and Adam placed his arm around him. "Let's get back to mine, get something to eat...have a drink...this will all pass"
Aaron shook his head as tears streamed down his cheeks.
"Yes it will mate" he reassured him. They walked to the car, and headed up to Butler's farm. Tomorrow would be a new day. Only then would he be able to try with them all.
TBC...