CHAPTER 37

CC awoke a little late the next morning. She had managed to fall asleep around 3:30 am. There was no way she would have made it to breakfast at the Sheffield's and not just because of the time.

She turned onto her side and pulled her covers tighter, remembering the events of the night before. Her eyes felt heavy and dry as she stared into space.

She slowly sat up and looked around her room. She saw the small vase of flowers on her nightstand and shook her head. Why did he have to be everywhere?

She wondered what she should do. She needed a plan of action... Or inaction. The latter seemed easier. Should she call in sick? She couldn't face him. She remembered wondering how things would be at the mansion after they'd slept together. Now she dreaded how things would be after it was ruined.

Even if I never see him or hear him say my name again, at least I've experienced his sweet touch... That memory will never leave.

She wiped her eyes and got up. She went to the kitchen and saw the mess she should have tidied the night before. It seemed so much bigger now. She sighed as she began picking up dishes, bowls and spoons and putting them into the dishwasher after rinsing them off.

She never saw the plate that had had pancakes in it. He must have put it away when they were talking about Maxwell and what the time was.

She opened the fridge and there they were, looking up at her as if questioning her actions of the night before. 'This is what you could have had.'

"Shut up," she said to herself as she took them out of the fridge and put a few onto a new plate to heat them in the microwave. She was hungry and glad they were there. He had told her he wouldn't come over that morning.

She sat and ate the pancakes slowly. Trying to clear her mind and think of nothing - not even of the way they tasted because if she did, she might taste his finger, his kiss... or the taste of regret.

She picked up the last crumb with a fingertip and lifted the plate to put it into the dishwasher. She turned to her answering machine wondering if there was a possibility he could have called during the night. Don't be ridiculous.

She decided to call Maxwell and as the phone rang, she was suddenly fearful that he might answer. She considered hanging up but then Maxwell's greeting rang through her ear.

"Ah, CC. I see you and Niles didn't arrive together from your apartment this morning. I take it he didn't go over to cook breakfast. Will you be eating with us? We'll be sitting down in about 10 minutes. Have you left home yet?"

"Actually, Maxwell, I'm not feeling very well. I think I'm going to stay home. Tomorrow I'll be at the theatre so I won't be seeing you then either. If you need me to check anything just e-mail or fax or IM or call..."

She made a point of listing all of the possibilities so that sending Niles over to her would be the last thing on his mind.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you got rid of that cold. Well I hope you feel better soon, CC. Opening night is drawing ever nearer and you're the only one who can get those actors on top form and those dancers en pointe!" She could hear the hopeful smile in his voice.

"Yes, yes, don't worry. It'll all be taken care of."

Niles walked into the living room and heard Maxwell greet her. "Okay, CC. Chat to you later." His heart jumped.

"Good morning, sir. Breakfast is served."

"Ah, thank you Niles! I'm starved! By the way, you forgot to turn down my bed last night. And I couldn't find my night slippers or a treat on my pillow. I didn't want to wake you - I know you've been tired what with working two jobs now that you have CC as well."

Had. Niles looked at his feet. "My apologies, sir."

"Quite alright, old boy. Just don't shirk too many duties. I might realize I don't need you as much as I thought."

As if. "Yes, sir."

"Oh, I know you never made breakfast for CC seeing as you're still here but it seems she's fallen ill again and won't be coming in today, Niles. So you won't need to set a place for her here."

"Miss Babcock's sick again?" Fran asked when she walked in on the conversation. "What'd ya do, Niles? Poison the meals you make her?" She laughed.

Niles smiled sadly and left the room with no witty comments or whispered utterances.

***ccccccccccccccc***

After breakfast, the children left for school and Mr. Sheffield went to work in the office. Niles was busying himself cleaning every surface and dusting every shelf. Time ran away from him and the next thing he knew, it was time to return to the kitchen to prepare lunch.

He was stopped by the sound of the doorbell. For a moment he didn't move. Every possible scenario played in his head of what he would say if it was her.

He took a breath and went to open the door only to find Demon McMoron. Vomit, Niles thought.

"May I help you?" Niles said rudely.

"That's no tone in which to greet a guest! I shall inform Maxwell." Damon pushed past Niles and into the house.

"Is Mr. Sheffield expecting you?" He walked briskly after Damon.

"No, I'm here to see CC."

Niles's step faltered. "C-? Miss Babcock isn't in."

Damon turned before intruding into the office without announcement.

"Where is she?"

"She called in sick. You haven't spoken to her today?"

"No," Damon said. "I was hoping to meet her for lunch. She hasn't taken my calls so I thought I would surprise her here. Did she not order you to cook a meal for us?"

Niles pursed his lips in annoyance at the man. "No."

"Ah. Well, I'll go over to her apartment then." Damon returned to the foyer.

"Miss Babcock is not partial to unannounced guests. And if she's ill, her apartment is a minefield."

"If she's ill? What do you mean 'if'? And are you threatening me to watch my step?"

"I meant when she's ill she's especially temperamental. It's your choice whether you want to see her or not." Niles said, not looking to fight with a man he had no strength to lose to again in the space of 24 hours. He already felt defeated.

Damon eyed him suspiciously as Niles opened the front door.

He stepped out and said, "CC will change her mind about you, butler. Mark my words."

"I hope so." Niles said, genuinely wishing she would pick him over Damon.

Damon was confused by his response. "You'll be gone in no time. She'll soon see you're not the man she thinks you are. You're just the help. She'll be rid of you without guilt." Damon turned and left.

Now Niles was the confused one. CC had been defending him to Damon? What kind of man had she thought he was? She didn't see him as 'just the help'? Niles felt guilty. He had assumed his feelings had always been unrequited; that his kind, albeit undercover, gestures had always been one-sided. He couldn't fathom that she may have been indirectly reciprocating in kind.

She hadn't responded to Damon's calls; she hadn't ordered Niles to cook for her and Damon. Niles's faith in her was questionable but he had at least some hope. He had at least enough to make him want to talk to her again.

He shut the door after Damon had left and tried to decide how to go about approaching the situation. She obviously didn't want to see him. She had called in sick.

But why didn't she want to see him? Was she feeling guilty about sleeping with Niles? Did she not want him around because she thought he might let slip their secret to Damon?

She must be afraid I'll ruin her relationship with that man. Well I can't let her ruin her life by staying with him. He's all kinds of wrong for her. If she can't bring herself to want me, she should at least have someone who will care for her the way I do; do things for her the way I do; love her the way... I... do.