My Best Friend's Wedding

POV: Leah

~ *~

We must all face

the choice

between what is easy

and what is right.

~ *~

My toes dig into the sand of First Beach, as I play the role of Maid of Honor once again. This time, for my two human best friends. I glance over Jake's broad shoulders to catch a glimpse of the profile of the Best Man. How apt the title, I muse, for he is the best man in my life. The one I still love and would choose in a moment had I any courage within me to take the leap, and had I been ignorant of the existence of another who needs me more than life itself. I know it is not time yet for Embry and me. But I still hold onto the hope that despite what's passed, he will still find it in his heart to hold onto a love that might still be ours one day.

It's been a long time since that bonfire that brought us back together. But we parted ways so he could finish school and I could finally give in to Felicia's wishes. The distance allows us to cultivate a closeness again and his letters continue to find their way to me. They tell me of his life. Yet unmarried, Embry's made his name known in the environmental movement. Not a crunchy granola type of role that we'd all once believe he'd slide into, but a real mover and shaker. He'd taken architecture at Stanford, along with his environmental engineering major. Then, developed ways to build homes and office buildings using clean energy through the building process, as well as, after inhabited.

I write him letters of my life, too. I focus my news on my fledgling, but increasingly popular fashion line, GirlieWolf Designs, partnering with one of my design school friends and Felicia in opening a boutique of our own that's growing by leaps and bounds along the West Coast. I do not write Embry about Stefan.

The reason why Stefan and I aren't officially together yet is because I want to concentrate on my career. At least, if ever asked, this is my official line.

Since I'm going to go through with this having Stefan's baby thing, I know my mom, always a stickler for doing things "The Right Way," is going to insist I get married. Really, though, it's not just my mom and, surprisingly, my brother who insist on convention. I want it, too. Things are already too unconventional for my comfort in my life as it is.

I figure I'm giving up enough as it is to play out my role as alpha female. And if I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it my way - the right way for me. And as much as it might surprise my pack mates, I am still girly enough to have dreamed of my wedding day, no matter how short my actual married life might be.

And frankly, I'm not ready to make a promise like that without having the true intention of staying faithful. Even though Stefan's not my soul mate, I do deeply care for him enough to marry him and keep my vows for however long it takes to break the curse. So, though I might already be leading an unconventional life, I most definitely will not just "take one" for the team, or in this case, the pack. I have zero desire to live my life on the reservation, scorned as a single-mother with some non-Quileute as my baby's daddy, being looked down on with pity by those in town who have no idea that there are werewolves among us.

I've personally had enough of that kind of humiliation, thank you very much.

I've told Embry as much. I can't say he was particularly happy about it, but he had seemed reluctantly accepting.

I do love Stefan dearly and know I would enjoy having him in my life, and, more than likely, he'd be great to have in my bed. But his research has him working in places I'd rather not stay, so I opt for a long distance, sort of more-than-friends relationship instead. I'd say I'm fairly good at those. His absence restores my personal space, my autonomous thinking, and I know Stefan knows how bothered I am when he is near. So, he always hands me the mail and my stationary before he goes, knowing exactly who I'll be writing to just as soon as he leaves.

Embry still hasn't imprinted, I know because, to his dismay, I still ask the question. On the phone, during a rare call, I ask. In my letters to him as haphazardly spaced as they might be, I ask. As ridiculous as it may be, there's still a nagging feeling about his imprinting in the bowels of my heart. And as shitty as it is of me to regularly inquire, I sometimes think that maybe one day,he might just surprise me and say, yes.

Then I won't have to feel this awful about making the heartbreaking decision about Stefan.

Yes, I know, a coward's way out.

So, I am left to be contented with, and to treasure Embry's words, our words and the memories of us together. We've kept out of each other's sight for too long. The closest we've gotten to being in the other's presence is when I feel him inside me when I phase. It is when we are wolves that I can let him feel, without words, how much I still do love him, how I miss him so ferociously, and how very, very sorry I am that our lives are on such different trajectories.

We share fleeting happiness. We do not think of Stefan. We think only of ourselves and of our times together.

These very rare times are ones I cherish and revisit often when I become all too aware of how close Stefan and I are becoming.

"...be my beloved husband, to have and to hold you, to honor you, to treasure you, to be at your side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times, and in the bad, and to love and cherish you always. I promise you this from my heart, for all the days of my life."

Jake and Bella's exchanged vows call me back from my reverie and have me genuinely smiling, witnessing with my own eyes Jake breaking the hold of his imprint. Felicia. I am so happy for Bella and Jake, my heart sings for them. They offer me the hope I so desperately seek, faith that even after the poignant encounter of last night, Embry and I will indeed find our way to one another again.

For me, last night's storm did not come in with the rainclouds, but began when Embry sought me out in the quiet backyard of the Black residence after rehearsal dinner.

"Stefan knows I can't be a silent bystander in this anymore, Leah. It's not that I won't. It's just that I can't," he'd announced as the clouds gathered. I watched his raven black hair whip about his handsomely chiseled face in the lashing wind. "I've loved you enough to stand back and allow you the freedom to get what you need to get done. I've been patient. I've been waiting. But I'm not content to quietly stand in the shadows anymore. You've had more than enough time to finalize your decision. If you're going to pick Stefan. Pick him, Leah, please. Pick! You have to do something because this… this in-between, limbo thing, is killing me!"

No longer teenagers, he spoke the words of a man, and the woman in me gasped at his strength of understanding and acceptance. I wanted to run away with him right then, to finally end his torment. But I caught sight of a white dove perched calmly on a nearby branch. I could see it right above Embry's shoulder. It flapped its wings to settle on its branch, reminding me it wasn't yet time to fly.

"I should have fought harder before. And now, I think I might be too late," he sends me a wry smile. "After talking to Stefan and Jake, I've come to truly understand what you have to do - what only you can do - for the pack, for all of us. You'll be an amazing mother, Leah. And I can live with what you have to do because I can hold on to the hope that we will be together and have our own children after all of this is done. If we can have that, then it will all be worth it, right?" He looks imploringly at me, waiting for an answer that I can't give with complete confidence. I continue to gaze at him, silent. He clears his throat, trying another approach to shake me out of my silence.

"So, Buttercup, if doing this can save our own children and grandchildren, and you're willing to make the sacrifice. I can make a sacrifice, too." He stops a minute to compose himself, the idea of children halting him. "I should have told you a long time ago that you should be with me. I should have asked you to stay with me. Maybe we could have done something differently and Stefan wouldn't be so… so much a part of who we are now. I should have told you before he even showed up that we belong together," he said, grabbing onto my shoulders.

"I should have been there for you…"

I tilt my face up to look at him when I hear his voice hitch. I watch something shift in his expression.

Despair.

"Ohgod, Leah!… ohgod!," he gasped then, releasing me. He bent over, suddenly. I recalled doing something similar before... in the hospital... and realized what was happening to Embry. It was as though he'd just received the news about the miscarriage and the baby from Stefan's mind only minutes before, instead of years ago. Alarmed, I moved swiftly to place comforting hands on him, just as Stefan did for me once upon a time.

"Ohgod, Leah… our baby, Leah…ohgod," his voice broke, his body shook. At last he spoke the words I knew he couldn't acknowledge before. I'd been waiting, wondering, if he'd ever lift the protective shield of denial.

So, this was his breaking point, then, an upcoming marriage of friends. His best friend's deliberate choice to break imprint, and not only that, but to finally have the knowledge of the true extent of physical and mental pain Jake had to endure to ensure he'd never imprint again. The frustration of not being the one in control, able to do something, anything to get us out of the situation we're in.

All of this and realizing that Jake would likely be a father before him. Well, this was, apparently, the last straw that finally forced Embry to face the truth. A truth he'd pushed aside because of the pain, shame, and fear of being just like his father. I'd suspected for a long time that for Embry, everything associated with my miscarriage cast unwanted bright light onto his belief of being a failure in our relationship, and worse, of being a failure as a father to a child that would never be.

I wrapped my arms around him as he sank his way to the ground. I held him tightly, whispering the lullaby that soothed Stefan in the past.

"I can't Leah, please, don't ask me to stay in Washington. It might kill me, knowing you'll be carrying another man's baby. I don't know that I could stand it, not when I should have been there to… to… take care of you when you were carrying mine."

"Embry, there's nothing either one of us could have done back then. I didn't even know I was pregnant! We couldn't have done anything," I said gently, smoothing his hair back as I cradled him against me. "I should have asked you to stay. I should have! It wasn't your fault. It was my decision not to send Stefan after you. I made the mistake, Embry! I was the one who chose wrong."

He grabbed hold of my hands, still apologizing for his perceived wrongs. I wrap my arms tighter around him.

"I thought I'd cried enough for the both of us, but I know now that I wasn't being fair," I whispered as I hugged him close, "It's ok to cry, now, Embry. It's ok. Just cry. You have a right to your grief, too. And you were never at fault, not for any of it."

And so, he wept, and I could almost hear the howl he would have made if he'd been a wolf.

I held him until he calmed, pouring all of my love into him.

"I'm so so sorry," his whisper of self-disgust pained me to hear. "I should be stronger for you, Leah. I'm so very sorry, Buttercup. But I couldn't support you about the miscarriage after I found out. All because of my own fucking issues. Geezus! That's why I haven't wanted to think about it, much less talk about our baby. Our baby, Leah!" He let out a hard, ragged breath, rubbing at his face. "I can't do this. I can't feel this right now. I… can't!" He gasped again, against the sudden agony of loss that I knew all too well.

"Please, Leah, just ask me to fight for us and I will. I will fight. I love you so much that I will use all of my strength to fight for us. Because no imprint, yours or mine, will ever take my love for you away." He let go of me and turned, grabbing hold of my shoulders and capturing my eyes. "But I can't be the only one fighting… Leah. Please."

I knew he needed me to decide, to help him forget our past mistakes by giving him this task or giving him the freedom to go with my blessing.

I should have let him go.

I should have!

But the selfish bitch that I am, I still gave him hope and reason to stay.

I told him to wait, to please wait. I knew it was patently unfair of me to ask such a thing of him, knowing I would be inevitably married to Stefan. But it had been so horrifying to realize that there were so many other women free to love Embry as I fervently wish to. I know with a simple change of heart and mind, I could rank myself among them.

I'd already promised the pack, though. Besides, Embry and I had each been talking independently to Chenoa and we'd even thought we'd each found some peace about the immediate future and what I'm being called to do.

Together, we'd come to accept the reality of the necessity of my action, gambling on the belief that this would be the way to our happily ever after. But once we'd agreed, it was me who continued to drag my feet. It was me procrastinating and not really making the final decision.

To avoid choosing between them, I focused on my career, on anything and everything besides what my alpha role asked of me. This wasn't necessarily a bad thing, because I've made something of myself in the in-between.

Though, I left both Embry and Stefan hanging in the meantime.

Limbo?.

Yeah, exactly.

I should have told Embry to live his own life while I lived this - my life.

But, instead, I'd made it worse, I told Embry to please stay. And on top of that, I told him that I needed him nearby, too.

That's when he got angry, as furious as the hailstorm that swept through LaPush last night, bringing us back around full circle to start the old argument again.

Break the damn imprint. If you love me, Leah, break it. It's only lust after all!

Only this time we both know that while imprinting might only mean lust and procreation, it has also become for me, the one special way I can positively contribute to the preservation and future of our pack. It is a way to exercise my own strength as female alpha, my super unique, awesome girl power, that if put into effect would protect all I hold dear.

What's even worse, for both Embry and me, is that we know, that though he might have been once, Stefan isn't just an anonymous sperm donor. Now, he has a role in my life, in our lives. He is my treasured friend, and even Embry can no longer justify hating Stefan simply for his audacity to exist.

Not anymore.

Embry and Stefan had been spending more and more time together, Jake being the needed buffer between them. While trying to figure a way we could all live with this, the two men in my life had begun an unlikely, tenuous friendship. They'd come to trust one another, even like each other's company a little bit, as long as Jake was around to tip the balance.

What threw them together was time and a common purpose: Find an alternative to me having to be the mother of the baby.

At first, they'd thought Aylen would fit the bill as my replacement… which failed since there was no connection… no rise from Stefan. Then, the three men scoured the coasts for others. How they found the handful of other female werewolves, I'll never know. But, though he tried, none peaked any interest from Stefan. I'd even half-heartedly hoped Embry might imprint during their quest, but, no. And as this reality set in, so did another divide between the two men. Impotent anger and frustration with the situation, this is what they both shared now.

Even Jake's intervention wasn't enough to keep them on amicable terms.

They'd come home empty-handed, and that left us all with only simple acceptance as the solution to the combined heartache.

"Make it easier for me to stop loving you, Leah," Embry's rough cry whipped through me. "Tell me that you don't love me! Tell me it's hopeless! Tell me I can't ever have you! Or at the very least, tell me to leave so you can have your life with Stefan. I can't be here while… I just can't…"

"But, it's not hopeless. Embry, and I do love you," I'd said the words for the very first time since we'd sat down to talk to Chenoa after our encounter at my house. Was it already years ago? I knew it hurt him to hear them, but they passed my lips before I could stop them. I watched the hope flare in his eyes, but just as quickly my next words extinguish the tiny flame. "Even so, I can't break the imprint, not in the way you want!" I hurt all over again as I watched his hope flicker out, his body quaking in frustration.

"Don't you love me enough to break this imprint, Leah?" his voice full of anguish, asking a question we both know was impossible for me to answer. "Please, Leah... tell me what you want me to do! Are you being like Sam, after all, convinced you might love your imprint more than you'll ever love me? "

"No... " I gasped and moved towards him, knowing he doesn't really mean the last question. But the barren look in his eyes stole the breath from me and stopped me mid-step. His gaze revealed the agonizing heartbreak I'd inflicted with the single word.

He turned to run before I could finish.

Breaking point.

His hurt, my fault, again.

"... I'm doing this because I love you too much not to!" I'd shouted at his retreating back, not willing to stay quiet this time. "This is how I can break the imprint! This is how I can fight! Embry! Please stay!" I'd hoped beyond hope that he'd heard my last cry over the howling wind.

And, now, today, in the bright afternoon sun, there is no trace of last night's storm other than Embry's frown and his thunderous gaze.

He hates me for my indecision, I think, sorrowfully.

Regardless, I know that I still want him. I still love him. I still choose him.

Just not yet.

I know he hurts at the sight of me. I know this because when I look at him, I hurt, too. He is everything I want, but can't have right now. He is strong, or so his mother says, so I try to find my own strength as I continue on this path alone, knowing I'm hurting him by asking him to stay with me through it. Even so, I know I'm healing myself by going this way, following my destiny. I know that with Stefan and this baby I will find strength within me that I never knew before. Even in Stefan's absence I grow stronger. In his presence, I truly realize how far I've come from the simpering near-suicidal girl I'd once been.

There are still things I must do without Embry, even though I desperately want him to stay nearby.

There is still Stefan, after all, who needs me, too. I look at Stefan now, and smile. Bella spies me doing so, and grins. I know she still disapproves of Embry and how he's behaved. She whole-heartedly believes I love Stefan the way she loves Jake, that what Stefan and I have is even more special because it is blessed by imprint.

If only it were so simple.

I catch Chenoa Call's eye. She frowns at her son and gives me an encouraging smile. She knows I love Embry, and has been my unofficial guide through all of this, helping me stand up again and again each time I stumble along the painful journey that she promises will ultimately lead me back to her son.

Dedicate yourself to loving Stefan, she tells to me at my weakest moments. Find a way to completely love yourself, then you will be ready to offer that love to my son.

I hope I am not following the advice of a mad woman.

Stefan feels the weight of my stare. He returns my gaze and grins one of his most gorgeous smiles. My insides flutter. My body responds to the simplest of his gestures. I know what he can reduce me to by turning on a little switch in his mind, the very same power I have over him.

My breath hitches as I look at the beauty of him.

This innocent moment between us reveals to me that when I do follow what I am meant to do, I fear I won't have the faintest idea how I will manage to let go of Stefan when it is his turn to leave me.

I don't know how I'll survive it, because I do love him, and he is a good man, too.

So I pray. I pray the prayer Embry demanded of me so long ago on that awful night of Sam and Emily's wedding.

I pray that Embry will still be waiting for me when I finally can come to him as a whole person in need of a full partner in love.

At the reception, I continue to feel the weight of Embry's gaze on my back. I shift in my seat, wishing he would approach, or just go away instead of brooding like a damn stalker.

I guess this is how he must feel when he thinks about me in his life. Neither here, nor there.

Unfair. All around.

I move to go to him, but he quickly dissolves into the crowd, and I lose him.

Stefan seems to sense my despair at Embry's swift departure. I watch Stefan weave his way toward me.

"Would you care to dance?" His hand is outstretched to me. His gaze meets mine and I wonder at the sight. I'd always thought that a person's eyes were windows into their soul, but it occurs to me as I continue to delve into the verdant depths of his gaze, it seems I will never see deeply enough into Stefan's eyes to see anything but green.

What of his soul? I think. Doesn't he deserve all the love I can give him to release him of this place? We've already come to the scientific and heartfelt conclusion that I alone have the power to give this to him.

All these conflicting thoughts dissipate as I feel the electricity sizzle at our touch. His scent captures me and I am lost in his arms. He whisks me around the floor in a dance I didn't know I could move to. He is elegance personified. He is dignified and gentlemanly. I crave his quiet, supportive company as I journey to the discovery of myself. He has been a constant partner in helping me view the full image of myself that I still cannot yet clearly discern.

Out of the corner of my eye, though my world spins while in Stefan's loose embrace, I see Embry watching. That glimpse of him so lost and alone flicks a light on in my head and I know now what I must do.

In order for me to one day return to him whole, I must carry on with the decision I'd long ago made.

I want him, yes.

I love him, yes.

And to show him that I have enough love, I have to have faith and hope in the strength of the love we share.

In order for me to find my way to him again, I have to give Embry what he's been asking from me all along: enough love to trust that he'll be able to weather the hard parts, the very things that I wish only to shelter him from.

I also recognize that I owe myself the same, to trust that I will find the personal strength to handle this part of my life alone, without Embry's strength beside me. To love and trust myself to have the internal strength to do this without him, to grow without him.

Just as his mother has been urging us to accept from the very beginning, I've come to at last realize that for Embry and me to be together in the end, I must first let him go.

With sadness, I know I have to give Embry what he asked for last night. I can't do it with just words, though. I realize, the stubborn wolf that he is requires that I cut him loose in a way that will make him follow through with his part, to build a life, a future without me, away from me.

I have to do this… not for me, but for him.

For Embry.

I turn slightly to stare silently into Stefan's face. I see his gaze cloud with desire, and I watch him push that away to resettle on our friendship. This man taught me that I could help him heal his own darkness. Through this trust, I found the ability to feel empathy again. He held me, unquestioning, through one of the darkest periods of my life and through that generosity of spirit, he taught me again of love.

Despite knowing the whole of me, the real me, he loves me still… in his own way. After all, I know, just as he does, that we each love another.

And in at last accepting this fact, I am resolved.

I stand on tiptoe to whisper into Stefan's ear.

"Stefan, I think it's time," I say.

I see the surprise on his face and I continue with a small smile, "Will you marry me?"

His emerald eyes twinkle in delight and he smiles in a way that would melt any woman's heart. Then he captures me in a kiss that steals my breath away.

"I do so love the modern ways," he says against my lips twirling me around the dance floor. "Yes, Leah, I believe I shall marry you!"

I smile a true smile and cast a wary glance over his shoulder.

To my great relief, as well as to my utter despair, I find that Embry is gone.

A Wedding of My Own

POV: Embry

~ *~

"It is not our abilities

that show

what we truly are.

It is our choices."

~ *~

"I now pronounce you husband and wife...."

I burst into the ceremony, hoping to make my dramatic entrance during the part where the presider asks if there's anyone who objects to this union, but I'd missed the all important cue.

The poor timing is all thanks to my mom who was making me do all sorts of insanely random errands for her today. She'd even gone so far as to make me give her a "cross-my-heart, wish to die, poke a needle in my eye" sort of promise to finish them all before I took off on my own. My mother, being the all-seeing creature that she is, knew I would on this day take leave of all my good sense and cast away my hard-earned level of maturity about this fucked up situation to let my emotions lead me back to the girl I'd been so desperate to stay away from for so long.

And I had, honestly, tried to stay away ever since Leah left no doubt that she was granting me my freedom, making her final decision by agreeing to marry Stefan. But, I couldn't leave, not mentally.

I thought I could.

I knew I should.

But thinking and knowing are very different from feeling. And so that's why I'm heaving for breath, standing at the back of this church, arms holding open the double doors, taking in the rear view of Leah and Stefan holding hands, and sealing their vows with a kiss.

I think the pack is expecting me, or somehow Stefan heard my plan through my thoughts, because as soon as I step foot into the sanctuary to I don't know what... Sam and Jake tackle me and drag me into a back corner. Jake's hand covers my mouth. I'm amazed there isn't more sound coming from our scuffle.

"It's over, Embry," Jake whispers, putting an end to my fight. "Leah's made her choice."

The final Wedding March rings in my ears like a funeral dirge. Sam helps me to standing and I brush off my monkey suit. Sam and Jake flank me as the couple sweeps down the aisle. I keep my mouth shut, glaring at Stefan, unable to look at the beauty at his side. I can no longer shed tears or rail against the impossibility of this situation.

Jake and Sam corner me as soon as most of the guests file to the reception area.

"You have to get over her, Embry," Jake says to me.

"Like you could so easily get over Bella?" I snarl and before Sam opens his mouth, I turn to him and spit out, "or Emily?!"

They both say nothing and I make my way to the farthest corner of the room where I stare out the window.

I hear a door shut. From scent alone, I know they've left and someone else entirely is on the approach.

What do you want? I think bitterly, knowing he can hear my words.

"I regret that I am not so noble as to hand you the woman I've been waiting a millennia for. It's her, Embry. You and I know it. And she's agreed so generously to help release me from the imprisonment of this curse," the man with the green eyes says calmly. "I know you are sacrificing, too, and I offer you my deepest thanks, though I know you could care less."

I look at him, one brow raised. You got that right, buddy, I think, momentarily forgetting I am in the presence of a mindreader and that all of my juvenile thoughts are exposed.

I know you are more noble than I, because you gave her the freedom to choose. I am hoping that it will be because of your honor, that you will discover the strength wait for her through this. That when you are ready, you will be her friend once more - her best friend. I know she is the woman you love. Have faith in her. Trust her to work this all out for herself."

I turn back to gaze out the window. Speaking to him with my back to him.

"In other words, you want me to stand by and do nothing while you use her for your own selfish ends?" I say, surprising myself that I do not sound angry. "You know more about impotency than I do," I add wryly, a mirthless chuckle escapes.

He has the decency to indulge me in my misery and he smiles at my wit.

"You will not be impotent in this Embry, not this time. You have full knowledge of the truth. You are far stronger a man than I thought. Far stronger than I am because I cannot honestly say I would be able to do as you have done."

Great, of course he'd reveal that only after the fact.

"The truth is, for now, Leah wants me, Embry, and I want her," his eyes flash. His expression is one that conveys an awareness of being deemed top dog in this case. And the reality of this slices me. He doesn't have to continue, because I've been telling this to myself since I left the last wedding I'd attended in LaPush. "Because of the imprint, I know, and so does she, that she fits all the requirements for me to need her and be with her in this way."

I focus on my understanding of imprinting, the very definition of it that I tried to convince Leah of a lifetime ago.

It helps to abate the fury.

It's lust, pure and simple.

Mating.

Procreation.

Strengthening the pack.

That's all.

Gone is the time I would throw out the word I once used to describe her for doing this with him. The last time I'd thought it, I'd won myself a nice angry scar, raked across my back. I no longer growl at his words, knowing I need to hear them to move on. Surprisingly comforted to know too, that Stefan is someone I can trust and respect in his handling of Leah. It helps to know that he is as much a victim of our situation as both Leah and I are.

"Be comforted that I am not blinded by love. Leah's eyes are open, too. She knows what she is doing. She needs the practicality of what I have to offer now. She is doing this to strengthen the pack, insure the future. She seeks to find her strength, realize her power. She wants this so she can learn to love herself first. That's what she's doing, Embry. She is also doing this to secure the love she has for you. This curse promises her a happy ending with you, too."

And once Leah's decided on something there's no moving her.

Through his bizarre power, I hear our minds think the thought in unison.

"If it counts for anything, Embry, she's the one who asked me to marry her."

"You could have said, no," I respond lamely.

"Yes," he nods, his thick blond hair, ruffled by the forest wind coming in through the window, "but as we've already established, I am not so noble." His green gaze grips mine, unflinching as he speaks to my mind.

For now, Leah is mine.

His eyes flash a warning against any attempts by me to woo her away now. I'd apparently had my chance. Yet, all the while his thoughts speak of caring enough about any future I might have with his new wife.

"I will not ask of her anything she is unwilling to give," he uses his voice to communicate with me this time. "No sadness will come to her that you will not be able to soothe. She will come to you more whole than she did when she first came to me. Of this I promise you."

I hear Stefan make his way back to the reception. I do not move from where he leaves me.

Alone, I sigh, trying to come to terms with what he's told me.

I despise weddings. I really and truly do.

I let go of a rueful scoff as I think this last thought.

Gathering my wits, I move back into the reception and see it's time for that dance, the one where the guests who wish to get a moment to dance with either the bride or groom are afforded the opportunity through a pinning of a currency on their garments.

As I walk toward Leah who is dancing with Seth, I feel the grasp of my pack mates' hands at my arms, pulling at me to stop. It seems I've been in this place before... a lifetime ago.

When I finally am upon brother and sister, Seth gives me a low, warning growl.

I respond with a polite request to cut in, extending my hand. A look passes between them, then Leah, with her wild, buttercup scent, is in my arms.

I know to expect her insolent question. It's almost tradition now. And just like every other time she's asked, I get so angry I can barely see straight.

"So, have you imprinted yet, Embry?

"Knock it off, Leah," I say through gritted teeth. "Why are you doing this?"

She ignores my question. This is part of our dance, after all. It wouldn't do to misstep.

"You know, if you'd just imprint," she continues, "you'd make my life a whole hell of a lot easier."

"So you've said, Leah. But I don't feel like making your life any easier, especially since you're throwing me into hell today."

I know her new husband's eyes are tracking us, along with every eye of each member of the pack.

"Don't do this, Embry," she pleads, my strong lead gliding her around the dance floor. "Stop waiting, now. You asked me to pick and I did. So, really. Please go, this time. Please."

I can't find my breath.

"I love you, Embry," she says quietly. "I can't watch you do this to yourself. I'm doing what you asked me to do. Please, for me and for you, stop waiting."

I nod, once.

She stills.

I see I've stolen her breath, too. This gives me pause and hope flares.

I offer her a small smile, gratified that with this miniscule movement of my own lips she's managed to find her own breath again. I move to guide her off the dance floor, feel her shaking beneath my hand at her back.

As we near Stefan, I stoop to peck her cheek, and whisper in her ear.

"I love you, too," I say softly, this time without malice. "Goodbye, Leah."

I hand her over to Stefan and without looking back, I walk away, out of the reception, out of LaPush, and out of Leah's life.

POV: Leah

I am finally alone with Stefan in our luxurious honeymoon suite. He is visibly nervous, eager. We've promised each other to try to keep clear-headed, to not use the imprint pull that would relegate our wedding night to just animalistic mating. I smile shyly at him, trying to keep my nervousness hidden.

"Come here, Leah," he beckons, running his heated palm along my bare arm. "You look beautiful, you know."

My lips quirk.

"You don't have to flatter me, Stefan. You've already got me in bed and you're going to get in my pants before the night is over," I tease.

"Don't you think you deserve some romance before…" he whispers as he kisses my fingertips and I close my eyes and feel an overwhelming tingling all over. My body responds to him against me. It's breathtaking, this desire.

I want him.

I do.

"Stefan, I told you, we shouldn't use the pull. It's cheating."

"I'm not, Leah, I swear."

I still my movements beneath him, indulging in the exquisite feel of him above me. Amazing. Really. I arch myself against him, relishing the needy sounds he makes for me, his roaming hands.

"So, this is..." I pant.

"… just us…" he gasps. His breath against my ear. I feel his smile against my cheek. I smile against him, too.

"Leah-" he says hesitantly. I understand his uncertainty.

"Don't worry, Stefan. You've done this with countless other women, remember?" I smile, tracing the worry lines between his brows.

"Leah, that was years ago, and I just want to tell you-"

I see his expression grow serious. I don't want this to be more than it already is. If I make this out to also include my heart, I won't be able to handle it if, rather, when he leaves me, too.

After what happened at the reception, the heartbreak I felt with Embry's goodbye, I've come to no longer believe Chenoa. So, I've convinced myself I've ruined any future with Embry by choosing this route, so I'm now determined to hold on to what little I have left. Grasping onto this man, my husband, I realize with sudden clarity that what I have is quite a lot indeed.

"Stefan, you don't have to tell me you love me. Seriously," I give him a playful slap on his shoulder. "It's just me!"

He sighs, still wavering, worried to continue.

"Stefan," I whisper, rubbing his back, trying to ease his concern. "Hey, I know it's your first time in a long time, and really, it's OK if you know, you're… um… excited. I mean, you know it's not my first time either, so, I'll be OK, with whatever you need. We have a lifetime, Falconer," I smirk.

He glides a hand against my jaw, tilting my face up, and placing a tender kiss against my lips, wiping all mischievous thoughts from my mind.

"Leah," he says, touching his lips to each of my eyelids, his hands moving to caress the curves at my either side of him waist. "It is my first time. It's my first time, with you."

I whimper helplessly.

I can't do it, not like this, I think with a sob.

My last choice. I will not let go of him. Even if I have to lock Embry in a secret part of me, never to see the light of day while I'm with with Stefan.

I know what I have to do, now. I take a deep breath to prepare myself.

"Stefan, a nickel for a kiss." I whisper, urging him, welcoming him, now, into my mind.

I will be the one who breaks the pact we made earlier. I will be the one who surrenders to the call of our imprint. I will be the one who exercises the power of the thrall. I can not bear giving my heart over to my Stefan, because I know that's what I'll be doing if we actually make love without the imprint power.

And that would be cheating...

because my heart will always belong to Embry.

I feel Stefan's lips against mine.

"You owe me a nickel, fox," he growls against my neck.

I laugh, truly amused. "It's wolf, falcon."

Using the power I'd once tried over a box of chocolates one Valentine's Day, I surprise him with the force of it. And I wonder at how quickly I bring Stefan to a near mindless state where he forgets about anything and everything but burying himself in me, with the sole purpose of spilling his seed. I know it's not what we agreed on, but it is what I need to do this.

No love.

Just lust.

Plain and simple.

I sigh contented with this, feeling the tug of Stefan's equally powerful need pulling me into the maelstrom of desire I'd once balked at. I release all resistance and give myself over to the unique pleasure of a lover who can truly read my mind.

A/N: I misspoke last time. Embry reminded me that this is supposed to be Callwater. He also pointed out that he's been really good since his last temper tantrum, that he's learning to deal with his daddy-issues and he's maturing. He asked me so nicely not to be kept on the back burner this chapter, I had to oblige. He has grown up, so much. And for all of you Stefan fans, I ... well... err... sigh...I'll tell you next chapter.