A/N: So "summer" is winding down and we're only a couple of weeks away from the season premiere. I think this story is winding down and only anticipate a few more chapters. Thanks for everyone who has been following this story and reviewing!

Chapter 35: Relationships

Kate had warned him, Castle noted to himself grimly, wishing for the tenth time that evening that he had listened to her.

"Don't get involved," she'd told him. Sage advice, he knew, but he thought he was being clever.

"It's just a friendly game of poker," he responded, but her only answer was a knowing shake of the head.

If only it was just a friendly game of poker.

As it turned out, it was a no-holds-barred game of angry poker as two of New York's finest detectives refused to back down.

Ryan arrived first, of course, on time and excited for a fun night with Castle and some of the other guys from work. But when Esposito knocked on the door a few minutes later, both men knew what the writer was trying to do. There were no other players.

"No way, man," Espo stated, as annoyed and defense as a Castle had ever seen the man.

But whatever argument he could have made to keep the detective there would never have been as effective as Ryan's next words. "It's okay," the Irish detective said dismissively. "He's just afraid I'll beat him."

All three men spotted the reverse psychology immediately, but the obvious affront to Esposito's pride couldn't go unchallenged. Taking a step towards his partner, the ex-special forces officer demanded, "Who're you calling afraid?"

Ryan shrugged and under his breath began making faint chicken noises. Espo took another step towards him, but Castle intervened.

"Neither of you have to worry about the other winning," he informed them cheekily, "because I have no intention of letting either of you go home with your hard earned tax-payer money."

Thus began the poker game from hell.

Esposito glared at both of them as he anted up. He glared as he called, as he showed his cards, and even as he collected his winnings. However, the few times he folded, his expression made Castle actually fear for their lives.

For his part, Ryan played the role of a brash and confident player, bluffing like a pro as he needled Esposito and even occasionally made jokes at Castle's expense. "So, where's Beckett tonight? She doesn't want to play with us?" he asked.

Castle began to respond but was cut off by Esposito. "She's having a girls' night out with Lanie. Or don't you two keep in touch anymore?"

While Castle suspected that Espo knew of the girls' night plans more from Lanie than from Kate, he said nothing as he observed the almost imperceptible frown on Ryan's face. The remark had hit home - the young detective missed working with his mentor and harbored a lot of guilt over her departure from the NYPD.

"Actually, Jenny and I are going to dinner with Beckett and Castle next week," Ryan retorted.

He spoke the truth. They were planning on a sort of double-date. Castle and Beckett had also been careful not to let Lanie know lest she tell Esposito and the whole thing get blown out of context.

So much for the best laid plans.

Watching the sudden twitching of Esposito's left eye as he avoided the writer's gaze, Castle attempted to change the subject. "So, what do you two think-"

He got no further as Espo interrupted, "Yeah? Well Lanie and I spent a weekend with them in the Hamptons this summer."

Ryan looked hurt, but he retorted angrily, "Yeah? Well then invited us too, but I was too busy doing my work and yours because you got yourself suspended-"

"Guys," Castle said, trying to rein in this catastrophe.

"I wouldn't have gotten suspended if you'd had my back. Like a real partner."

"A real partner?" Ryan spat back. "A real partner wouldn't have gone off half-cocked like a vigilante. And besides, you told me not to come, that you 'had it.'"

"And we would have," Espo yelled, pushing himself up from the table. "I didn't tell you to call Gates like you were crying back to your mommy."

Ryan likewise stood from the table opposite his partner. "Lucky for you that I did or Beckett would be dead right now," he said bluntly. "Speaking of watching your partner's back... why was she on that roof alone? Oh yeah, you got knocked out by a suspect."

"Guys," he tried again, a little more loudly. All this discussion about Kate and that day on the roof was beginning to unnerve him. Not only did he hate thinking about how close she'd come to death, he also shared Esposito's unspoken guilt over not having been there to rescue her.

Ignoring him, Esposito threw back, "Well at least I was there to get knocked out. A little something called loyalty. Maybe you've heard of it."

"Oh yeah, I'll tell you about loyalty-"

"Enough!" Castle shouted, loud enough to startle both detectives and himself. This battle had gone on far too long. With both men's attention focused on him, he turned to Esposito. "She needed you and you were there for her. But she was wrong to go without back up." To Ryan he said, "You did the right thing by calling Gates even if it got them suspended. And she quit all on her own. That wasn't you." Swiveling back towards Espo, he emphasized, "It wasn't either of you. And right now, she's alive. She's out having drinks with Lanie and none of us had to carry her casket through a cemetery this summer."

He turned on his heel and headed towards his office where he kept a small stock of liquor. At the door, he noticed the two detectives following him with their eyes, both with expressions full of chagrin. No one had forgotten Montgomery's untimely death or Kate's assassination attempt at his funeral the year before.

He beckoned them to follow. Once in his office, he pulled out his best bottle of scotch and three tumblers. He filled each with a respectable amount before handing one to both men and taking the last for himself. Holding his glass up, he toasted, "To Beckett."

"To Beckett," the detectives echoed. All three downed their drinks with gusto.

Picking up the bottle of scotch, Castle headed back into the living room. As he walked, he called out, "If you two will stay and continue this game in a civilized manner, I promise to ply you with liquor and the possibility of winning a lot of money."

Esposito seemed skeptical but retook his seat anyway. Ryan proved more enthusiastic, obviously glad that their nasty fight was over. Not bothering to get a verbal confirmation of their agreement, Castle quickly began dealing cards.

For a while, they played in subdued silence, no one but Castle bothering to so say much more than, "Raise," "Call," or "I'm out."

But finally, after a number of awkward moments had passed, Ryan broke the ice. "So is it weird being with Beckett now?" he asked.

Castle blinked at the question. "Weird? No." He searched for the appropriate word. Something to convey his sense of relief, amazement, and the total wonder of being with Kate Becket. Finally, he settled for a simple, "It's awesome."

The other men chuckled at his enthusiasm.

Not letting the subject drop, Esposito asked, "So how did that come about anyway? When did you two get together?"

His mind flashed with images and feelings from that night. Kate standing on his doorstep, soaked from the rain. His annoyance at seeing her there and demand to know what she wanted. Her simple response of "You." Then there were words, apologies and declarations. And when there were no words left, only touches, tastes, and sounds.

And there was absolutely no way he was sharing any part of that night with the guys.

"It was shortly after she quit," he told them succinctly.

Esposito's eyes went wide. "After she quit? You mean after she gave up the search for her mother's murderer after almost falling off the side of a building? That's when she finally decided to give it a shot with you?" he asked sketically.

Castle did not like the detective's tone, nor was he keen on the alarmed look Ryan was suddenly sporting. "What?" he demanded.

The Irish detective shrugged. "Nothing. Just... Tough circumstances to start a relationship under."

Esposito nodded in vague agreement and a sudden chill went up Castle's spine.

He had often thought about the night Kate had showed up at the loft and the circumstances behind it. Why that night? Was it because she'd almost died? Was it because she'd quit her job? Or was it because she realized that jumping into this thing with him might bring her more happiness than finding her mom's killer?

Castle had always hoped it was the latter, but the twin expressions on Ryan and Esposito's faces made him worry that he had been deluding himself. They'd both known Kate longer than he had. And this wasn't the first time a near-death experience caused her to make a relationship decision. He remembered that night after they'd been rescued from the freezer, the way she walked away from him and towards Dr. Motorcycle Boy with the dreaded words, "It means we have a chance," still ringing in the air.

Was being with him just another, "It means we have a chance"? Was Kate really in it because she wanted to be, or because she was blindly following some perceived signals from the universe?

"We're doing fine," he told the guys, probably sounding more defensive than he wanted. They both nodded in acknowledgment of his words, but neither would meet his eye. And they both did their best to change the conversation. But it stayed with Castle.

She was amused when he told her about the argument between Ryan and Esposito, although she did not come right out and say the words, "I told you so."

"I warned you not to get involved."

Well, maybe not the exact words.

"How did the rest of the evening go?" she asked. They had finished a late dinner and were enjoying a glass of wine on her couch, both reveling in the fact that neither had to be up at a particular time in the morning.

Terrible, Castle wanted to tell her. The guys had completely psyched him out about his relationship with her. But he didn't want to mention that part. Not because he was afraid of how she would react, but... yes, he was afraid of how she would react. Either she would get upset with him for doubting her, the outcome he hoped for, or she would look guilty and nervous that he had hit upon a buried truth, a reaction he never wanted to see.

And deep down, he didn't want to know. Well, he wanted to know, but he really didn't want to know.

"What?" Kate said, and Castle realized he'd been staring at her.

"It went fine," he responded, forcing himself to focus on her and not on the doubts swirling around in his head. Maybe it was their way of paying him back for the poker game ambush he'd instigated. He hoped so. He hoped that they didn't have a point about Kate jumping into this relationship right after a near-death experience, giving up her mother's case, and quitting her job.

Her eyes narrowed at him with discerning scrutiny. "Something's bothering you," she observed. "Why won't you tell me what it is?"

"It's nothing," he lied.

She rolled her eyes at the obviousness of the fib. He really needed to learn to lie a little better.

"It's nothing important," he amended.

"Did Ryan and Espo say something? Was it worse than you told me?"

Oh, they said something. Just not about each other.

Castle shook his head. "No, they were fine."

"What did they say?"

So when did she become a human lie detector? Kate really needed to go back to work so she could focus those skills somewhere they would do more good.

With a sigh, Castle revealed, "They just asked about you and me, and I told them a little bit about us getting together and..." Kate's eyebrows shot up so high he worried they might actually disappear into her hairline. "Not like that," he assured her quickly. "They were just wondering about when we became.. us. And then with the circumstances, they said some things..."

"They said some things that totally freaked you out," Kate finished for him.

"Well... not totally."

She seemed oddly calm about this conversation, as though she had been partially expecting it. But instead of shying away from him or turning in on herself and shutting him out, she surprised him.

"You're worried about my timing," she stated. Not a question. "That I came to you that night, after everything that happened."

"I'm not worried," he argued. "I'm..."

Concerned? Curious? No longer so blinded by happiness as to keep from questioning her motivations?

"You need reassurance that you aren't my rebound," Kate said quietly.

Rebound?

Before he could voice the word which jolted through him like lightening, she clarified, "Rebound from my job, from the case."

An interesting way to phrase it, but that was exactly what had his head spinning since his conversation with the guys. Was she throwing herself into this relationship to fill a void left by those other all-consuming aspects of her life? He wanted to believe that she was in it for them, the same as him, but...

"Am I?" he asked pointedly. "A rebound? A replacement?"

He met her gaze, expecting anger or resentment at the question. After everything they had shared over the last three months, it seemed an incredulous query, the kind of thing he wished he could immediately dispel from his mind. But, he just couldn't.

Their summer together was just too perfect. Everything was going so well. Their relationship had flaws, certainly, but they were working through their problems. They were communicating. They had successfully made that crazy transition from friends to lovers without the backdrop of working on murder cases together.

Wasn't it just too good to be true?

Kate looked him in the eye, no trace of the negative emotions he was expecting reflected back at him. Instead, all he saw was moisture forming behind her dark lashes, tears she blinked back before speaking.

"Castle..." she began before stopping abruptly. Emotions played across her face as she struggled to give voice to her feelings. A second later, she said firmly, "No. Just- no. You are not a rebound. You are not a replacement. You are... everything. Okay?" Taking a deep breath, Kate pressed on before he could say anything in response. "I quit - I quit the case and I quit my job because I wanted more. I wanted to be more so that I could have more. You are the 'more' I wanted to have, Castle."

He opened his mouth to speak, to say something - he had no idea what - but nothing came out. He had no idea what to say to that.

Just as his mind began to come up with words and string them into coherent sentences, she brought her mouth to his in a desperate, crushing of lips and tangle of tongues. The kiss was messy and passionate, and he realized her tears had finally been shed as his hands moved up to touch her dampened cheeks. Somehow she had moved from sitting beside him to straddling his thighs, her weight pushing him back into the cushions of her couch.

When they finally broke apart for air, he expected her to continue the assault, to pull off his clothes and have her way with him on the couch. She had enough difficulty facing her emotions; giving voice to them was ten times harder for her. She did better with the physical, showing rather than telling. And most of the time that was enough for Castle. But tonight, as if sensing his need for that added reassurance, she continued the conversation.

"It's okay to have doubts, Castle," she told him.

Puzzled, he stated, "I don't have doubts about us."

She clarified, "It's okay to have doubts about me. I would too, if I were you."

He almost snorted in response. "I don't have doubts about you."

"About how I feel."

Castle said nothing for a moment as he chose his words carefully. "I don't doubt how you feel."

Not quite believing him, she said, "You shouldn't. I know why you would, but you shouldn't." She was adamant, and while she toyed with his shirt as she spoke, she looked up at him a moment later.

"I don't," Castle said again, this time sounding as if he truly meant it.

She nodded. "Good."

"You don't doubt how I feel, do you?" he asked.

A single shake of her head as she refocused her eyes on his shirt. While he no longer wore jackets on a regular basis, he was glad he had worn a long-sleeved dress shirt as she played with the edges of his collar. The top buttons were already undone, but she moved to the highest one and popped it out of its hole. He waited for her to continue, for the inevitable seduction.

Instead, she said quietly, "You really shouldn't be listening to Espo and Ryan, you know."

His eyes widened at the declaration. "Oh, I know," he agreed. Stupid detectives planting stupid ideas in his head.

"Well, maybe Ryan, but Espo gives terrible relationship advice."

"Duly noted."

"And... there's something else."

He waited, hoping that whatever she was about to tell him was a good 'something else' and not in the category of devastating. She bit her lip before meeting his eyes again, not shy exactly, but definitely hesitant.

"Tell me," he said.

She paused before blurting suddenly, "I want to go back." The words spilled out of her before she could rein them in and give them a semblance of order. "I don't want it to be the way it was before, with my mom's case. I'm done with that. But solving cases... I was good at it, Castle, and I miss it. I miss you and me and it, and... I think it can still work, don't you? Not that this isn't enough for me, I just need something. And I've been trying to find what that something is, and everything points back to this-"

Cutting herself off, Kate looked away from him. He could see her mind working, trying to figure out how to say what she was trying to say without it sounding the way she didn't want it to sound. As he felt the muscles in her legs tense, Castle realized that she was going to get up and move away from him. Instinctively, his hands moved to her hips to hold her firmly in place.

"Kate, it's okay," he told her. "I think you should go back to the NYPD."

"You do?"

He smiled at how startled she sounded. She may have been expecting grudging acceptance of her decision, but definitely not whole-hearted agreement. He thought he had been clear over the months that he would support her, no matter what decision she made.

"I do," he said firmly. "You are meant to be out there solving murders. Not only do you love it, but you are very, very good at it." She smiled at this compliment, and he continued as he felt her relax. "Kate, I never expected you to quit your job. I think I understand why you did, but all I wanted was for you to stay away from your mother's case. For your own sake. But being a detective is part of you. You haven't been complete this summer because you haven't been doing that."

"I think you're right," she said. "I tried all summer to think of something else to do with my life, and I couldn't."

"Because you've already found what you are meant to do."

She added boldly, "And the person I'm meant to do it with." She watched him carefully for a moment before asking, "You will go back with me, won't you?"

Perhaps this question was the crux of her hesitation, whether they could go back to being what they were before after everything that had happened. Castle found himself nodding even before his mind could fully process the question. "Of course," he said, almost unnecessarily. "If Gates lets me."

Kate nodded in relief, accepting his agreement. "You'll have to be extra nice to her."

"I'm always nice to her. Any nicer and I'll be-"

Kate cut him off by putting a finger to his lips. "I'll call Ryan in the morning," she stated. Then she slowly crawled off his lap, pulling him with her as she stood up and led him to her bedroom. "Until then, I have other plans for us."