An Ashley Greenwood Original Herbert The Hobbit!

*Disclaimer I don't own any of these characters, locations, or products, except for the oh so delightful Herbert The Hobbit!*

" My belly is full,

Of love and life,

It feels so wonderful,

My love for Frodo plentiful,

Now I know we'll be together for life,"

Chapter 35: Madness In The Village

"But I'm a virgin," I sighed to myself.

The doctor then wrote some stuff on his clipboard, " Well my this is an unusual case."

I started to cry in my sheets, " I don't know what to do I'M A VIRGIN!" Everyone gasped.

Aragon then rubbed his beard thoughtfully, " The reason is unknown."

The hot doctor nodded, " That it is, I think you all should pay attention." Everyone nodded too, they were going to pay attention.

Then the doctor paced the floor, " This is a very unusual case."

Gollum then pushed everyone out of the way, " Then what should we do good sir hmmmmm?"

The doctor flapped his arms, " I I have no clue, what do you want me to say."

Gimli put his hands on his hips, " That my boy here is a virgin!"

" I think it's because of how strong our love is," Frodo said sentimentally. Everyone said oh.

The coctor then ran out yelling, " Nurse nuuuuuurse!"

Gandalf then leaned into me and nodded his head "we should get going to destroy the ring." We all nodded and agreed, that was important because the ring is evil.

Everyone left the room except for me because I was changing. I changed into some brand new clothes, I was wearing a tight pink shirt, black leather jacket, black skinny jeans, black over the knee boots, and a pink headband with a bow on it, (Frodo brought me these clothes earlier.) I flat ironed my hair and made it look all smooth, and put on lip enhancing lip gloss (Frodo didn't give me that I just carry that stuff with me.) I then left out side the door was Gandalf, Merry, Pippin, Frodo, Sam, Legolas, Gollum, and Aragon!

"Are you okay," Pippin piped in nervously.

" Just dandy," Gollum replied.

" That's great to hear," Sam said as he put Gollum in a head lock and rubbed his head. Then all of a sudden we heard people screaming out side, and big explosions!

We all looked at each other, " Trouble," Legolas said dramatically. We all looked at each other and nodded and ran out of the hospital. Once we ran out of the hospital the hospital blew up! Everything was on fire and people were dead, and people were running around screaming! Then I looked up and beyond slightly there was a tall elf man standing on the wall, he was brunette with slightly slanted eyes, he had wrinkles, he was wearing a black cape with a red ruby in the middle, a black vest under it, and black baggy jeans!

Then the elf man began to yell "Bombs and madness, guns and knifes, flames and armor, let the madness pour into your soul like poi…SIN," he then laughed like an evil maniac.

I gasped and looked scared, " Who's that Gandalf?"

Gandalf looked angry in a here we go again sort of way, " That's Elrond he's been trying to destroy all of middle earth for centuries now, he wants to take over the world!" I gasped and looked scared, Frodo held my hand.

Then all of a sudden one of Elrond's soldiers ran up to him, " Sir master Laron."

Elrond flipped his hair and turned around, " Yes young meaningless minion?"

The soldier then spoke, " What should I do now, kill the mayor?"

Elrond turned back around, " Negative, I have a better plan for thou." The soldier then looked confused and saluted his master.

Elrond turned back around dramatically flicking his cape and pointing his finger, " You must kill Herbert Dior Von Furstenburg!" The wind then blew, and could hear fire snapping.

The soldier then fidgeted shyly, " I don't know… if I could do that."

Elrond then yelled and kicked him off the wall, " Ugaaa!" Then the soldier man was falling and screaming then he fell and died! We all were shocked, Sam started to cry, because he's pathetic. Then Elrond looked at me and jumped off the wall, he took out his sword and charged at me. Once he got in front of me he stopped and posed.

I then got in front of everyone protectively, " Who… who are you?"

Elrond then looked out of the corner of his eye, " I'm Elrond I'm here to destroy you and all your little friends Gerbert!"

I then responded with a snap in my step, " You shall never hurt my Frodo Elrond!"

He then grabbed Gollum by the neck and held him in the air, " That's LORD ELROND TO YOU!" Gollum then gulped, Gandalf cane started to glow, Elrond then dropped Gollum and started to stare at the light. I was so proud of Gandalf, (The light in Gandalf's cane sometimes hypnotize people.)

Elrond then broke out of the hypnosis, " Ha, you think that can hold me back, it never will I'm too powerful for your wizardry Gandlaugh!" Elrond then laughed at his joke.

Aragon took out his rod, " You will pay for talking to my father like that!"

Elrond laughed again, " Ha, you foolish fiends you can never rescue Princess Arwin!"

Gandalf gasped exasperatedly, " No not the princess!"

Elrond laughed again, "Ha, she's kidnapped in my castle, you will never get her, it's heavily guarded and she's at the very top!" Everyone gasped and sobbed.

Frodo then sobbed, " There's no hope we can never do this!" The rest of the gang nodded and agreed with Frodo while Elrond laughed at us all.

I then stood up dramatically, " No there's hope never give up you guys, I'm going to save her!" Every one smiled encouraged at me. Gimli then gave me a big hug.

Gandalf then put his hand on my shoulder, " you go save the princess, we'll distract Elrond for you."

My eyes teared up, "Thanks Grandpa." Frodo started to cry.

I then ran into the sunset as everyone waved good bye, I then realized I had something important to do.

Stay Tuned For Chapter 36 of Herbert The Hobbit!