Hey guys sorry for the delay and because it's late and I'm tired I'm not gonna hold you back from reading.

This chapter is big collection of flashbacks but I'm sure you'll understand it.

Enjoy and let me some thoughts on it please!

I love you and thank you so much!

Warnings: It's not checked by my beta. All mistakes are mine. And also slight angst and swearing. Oh you know, the usual for me.

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GLEE

Read, review, follow, favorite but mainly enjoy!

Love Helen

You don't think I know what you've done

„for months on end I've had my doubts, denying every tear"

If there was one thing on this earth you couldn't doubt, clearly it was his love for Blaine. They knew each other for almost fifteen years and were together basically from more than thirteen from them. Even broken up Kurt wasn't able to just move on. Yes he met and kind of dated Adam but they didn't even kiss. He only wanted to be kissed by Blaine for the rest of his life.

He loved him, deeply, unconditionally, with everything he had. He couldn't imagine his life without him and the kids.

That's why it hurt so much

That's why Kurt couldn't stop the tears from falling as he quickly packed some of his and the kids belongings. Because as much as he loved Blaine it wasn't enough. He couldn't force Blaine into loving him when his husband clearly didn't love him anymore.

He could exactly pinpoint to the day when everything changed. He was already in his fifth month of pregnancy with Caleb when going to work and then taking care of Leah started to be too much for him. So they decided that Blaine was bringing enough of money into their household for Kurt to drop out of the work. He wasn't happy in the company anymore so he didn't see problem in it.

When he reached his seventh month Blaine started taking Fridays and weekends off to help him. He would let him sleep in the mornings, take Leah to kinder garden, then come back and bring him breakfast in the bed. Then they would cuddle, or engage in more mature activities or even do house works together. And it also continued after Caleb was born.

So that's why Kurt was surprised one morning when instead of sweet kiss Blaine woke him up by gently shaking his shoulder.

"Honey? Kurt honey wake up?"

"Mmmh, whaa'?" He murmured and opened bleary eyes to look at Blaine. His husband was kneeling on the bed, dressed in suit pants and white oxford, his hair slicked back. "Where are you going? It's Friday" He whined and rubbed at his right eye.

"I know baby, I know. But Wes is still in Ohio and David managed to break his leg this morning. I need to go on the meet up with the sponsors" He explained gently and helped Kurt sit up, kissing his forehead.

"David broke his leg?" He yawned still not exactly woken up.

"Yeah he went running and tripped on pavement" Standing up from the bed Blaine snatched his suit jacket from Kurt's vanity chair and put it on. "Leah is just eating her breakfast and Caleb is changed and had his bottle. You still have at least half an hour before you have to leave for the kinder garden" He rushed out in one breath rummaging through his messenger bag and making sure he had all the papers he needed. "I'll be back right the second the meeting ends okay? I love you" He promised and with quick peck to Kurt's lips he was gone. Chuckling to himself, Kurt felt back on the pillows closing his eyes just for a few minutes more.

You know that day he didn't make a deal of it because it was for the first time in months Blaine had to go the work on Friday. When it happened for the second time he still waved it off. But soon enough Blaine started working on Fridays regularly. He promised to Kurt it was only temporary because they had new client who was simply amazing and so talented, but it still made Kurt bit nervous. But he always smiled at Blaine and told him that it was fine, don't worry.

And the time went. Kurt continued taking care of the kids, cooking and baking, playing with them, going to Leah's music plays and tried to keep smile on his face even when he felt far from it. And Blaine…Blaine kept working. He was getting up at early mornings and before Kurt woke up he was already gone. He was gone for whole days and got home after dinner. Both kids were always long asleep and sometimes even Kurt. Long time ago Kurt gave up on waiting for him. Because he would only came home so he could work more. He would snatch something to eat and then he would lock himself into his study. And there were also days when he wouldn't come home at all.

So it wasn't any surprise when Kurt woke up to empty bed, the warmth of his husband's body long gone. Turning on his side he buried his face in Blaine's pillow and inhaled his smell, letting the tears out. It also wasn't any surprise that he was starting his day with tears. It was happening pretty regularly in the past weeks. The worst thing was that his husband didn't even notice because he wasn't there.

He got up after the tears were long dry, feeling tired, like he couldn't go anymore. But he had to. If not for himself, then for the kids. Sighing softly he made the bed and then went to their bathroom. Turning on the light he shook his head slightly. The room was mess. Blaine's suit pants were crumpled near the bathtub and his white button up was hanging over it. Kurt reached for it and feeling bit of pathetic while doing it, he brought it to his face and smelled it.

He expected to smell the familiar smell of tangerine, almonds, musk and earth and nothing more. But sadly the familiar smell of his husband was mixed with another one. And Kurt was sure as hell it wasn't his. It was fresh and masculine, with hints of peppermint and lemon grass. It wasn't strong smell, no more like soft tint. But it was powerful enough to break Kurt's heart into tiny shreds.

He stood in the door frame of Blaine's study, watching his husband tiredly type into his laptop. Gosh they lived under the same roof but it was like they were strangers instead of family. And it was slowly killing him inside. Because someone was stealing Blaine away from him and he didn't know what to do to hold him by his side. He felt so foolish when he looked down at himself. He was dressed only in Blaine's button down shirt, hoping, praying his lover would finally look at him again with the loving look. That he would hold him and kiss him. Yeah, he was pathetic. But he had to try.

Steps soft on the carpet he made his way to the desk, standing himself behind Blaine and gently placing his palms on his tense shoulders.

"Hey" He whispered softly, massaging the stiff muscles. Blaine looked up at him tiredly and smiled.

"Hey" He echoed and caught one of Kurt's palms bringing it to his lips.

"Come to bed with me? It's late" He leaned down, his palms making their way under Blaine's shirt and caressing his chest. Sighing Blaine turned his office chair so he was facing Kurt and pulled him into his lap.

"You are so beautiful." He whispered, stroking Kurt's cheek with one hand. Kurt nuzzled to the palm and kissed it. Smiling Blaine tugged his face closer and then kissed him. Kurt almost cried at the display of intimacy.

"Take me to the bed?" He whispered against the lips and more felt then heard Blaine's soft response. As he felt himself being moved up, he wrapped his legs around Blaine's waist and let himself be carried into their bedroom. He was laid down on their covers softly and finally, finally after such a long time his husband kissed him. It wasn't quick peck Blaine gave him sometimes when he remembered that he still had husband, no. The kiss was full of love and regret, promises and apologizes.

"I love you Kurt" Blaine whispered against his lips and that was breaking point for Kurt. He didn't hear his husband say it for days, maybe even weeks. Tears spilled over his cheeks and soft sob broke out of his lips.

"Don't cry, please don't cry" Blaine whispered and took his face in his palms. "I'm sorry I love you, I love you"

"I love you too Blaine" He sobbed back. That night they made love.

He was just making dinner, holding Caleb who was screaming his little lungs out, to his chest. The poor baby caught stomach flu. From where Kurt didn't know, but that was the least from his worries. He was barely standing up because of course he had to catch it from him. Since two days ago he was battling with fever and upset stomach. And sadly Blaine still wasn't the man he married. Yes they slept together two weeks ago and Kurt thought it would change it all but no, it didn't. And he was hurting he was in so much pain. It wasn't easy trying to keep his family together when he was the only one trying.

He was broke away from his thoughts by Blaine's raised voice coming out of the study.

"Fuck! Fuck! That's just priceless" Not believing his ears he turned off the stove and basically run to the study with still crying Caleb pressed to his chest.

"What's going on here? Why are you yelling at her?"He asked Blaine who was currently screaming at Leah. The little frightened girl run to his side and immediately tried to hide behind his legs.

"I didn't mean to do it Daddy" She hiccupped, looking up at him with teary eyes. He cooed at her softly, caressing her cheek.

"She spilled her milk on my papers Kurt! She ruined everything!" Blaine growled, trying to wipe the papers with paper towel.

"And that's why you are screaming at her like a mad man? She is just kid Blaine!"He hoisted Caleb bit more comfortably, patting his back and hoping to calm him down. His cries were like knives for his headache.

"You don't get it don't you? She ruined contract! It was already closed. So now I had to call to the client and explain to him like the biggest asshole that I need for him to sign the contract again because my daughter ruined it with milk" Blaine screamed and kicked the chair, making the rest of his family jump. "You know what Kurt? Screw you. Screw everything!" He picked his phone and his messenger bag and tried to storm out of the room but Kurt was standing in his way.

"Where are you going?"He asked him and tried to reach for him but Blaine slapped his hand away.

"I'm going to try to solve this mess. Get out of my way Kurt"

"No. We need to talk about this!"

"Fuck, Kurt get out of my way or help me God" And Kurt did. Blaine didn't get like this often, in all this years he know him he screamed at him like that maybe only twice but it always scared Kurt to the bone.

The bed dipped slightly under the weight of his husband as Blaine silently sneaked under the covers. It was few days later after the incident with chocolate milk. That night Blaine come home not even hour later, apologizing with tears in his eyes. Kurt knew that he was kicking himself for how he was acting towards Leah. And he also regretted how much he was neglecting them. So another change happened. Every morning they had breakfast together and then he would drive Leah to kinder garden, at nights he would be home in time for dinner and sometimes he would be the one who would make it. He would play with the kids and help Kurt with chores. At nights he would show Kurt how much he appreciate him and loved him and how much sorry he was for being jackass. But nothing lasts forever right?

So they were back to the new strange routine of Blaine's early departures and late arrivals. And Kurt was too tired to bring it up again. So as pathetic as it was he only turned around so he was facing Blaine and still with his eyes closed he cuddled closer to Blaine, pretending at least for a minute that the world was okay again.

And for a moment it was. With loving chuckle Blaine wounded his arms around Kurt's body and pressed kiss to the top of his hair. He tugged the blanket tighter around them murmuring soft 'I love you' against Kurt's forehead.

"And we are done Darling, yes we are" Kurt baby talked to Caleb, as he closed the trunk of his car with his free hand. With the other he was holding Caleb's car seat. He was just unlocking the back door when familiar voice called for him.

"Wes? I thought you and David went to your cousin's wedding in Yuma" He said when he turned around and began strapping the car seat in the back. Wes smiled down at the babbling boy but then his forehead frowned.

"What would I do in Yuma?" Suddenly Kurt's stomach cramped painfully, lump growing in his throat.

"Oh my god I'm so stupid" He choked out, his vision blurring with tears. Wes and David were in New York. And Blaine was in LA on business trip they couldn't go, because they had to attend a wedding. He could hear Wes talking to him, calling his name but the only thing he heard was his breaking heart.

On his way home from the mall he called to the airport and booked plane tickets for himself and the kids. And he also booked himself a rental car in Columbus. At home he quickly packed some clothes for the kids and himself, swallowing his tears. He ignored the ringing of his phone and also the ringing of the home line. There was Blaine's voice speaking to him from the voice mall but he didn't pay it any attention. He needed to be away from the house as soon as possible.

"Kurt pick up the phone please! Please, I can explain. It's not what you think, baby please, please I love you. "

It was late in the afternoon when he finally put the car in a park on the Hummel's driveway. His eyes were red and itching, because the tears were long dried. Caleb was sleeping in the car seat and Leah was being unusually quiet. She could sense something was wrong, so she was silently browsing her picture's book.

He got out of the car and went to unload their baggage from the trunk. But he didn't open it, he leaned his forehead against it, sobbing soundlessly in his hands, only his shoulders shaking. He heard the front door opening and someone's quick steps nearing him

"Kurt?" Carole's motherly worried voice reached him and she laid warm palm on his shoulder. "Darling what's wrong?" And not picking up his head from its hiding spot in his palms, he voiced his suspicion that was eating him alive for months.

"Mom, he is cheating on me"

"you've made me realize my deepest fear, by lying and tearing us up"

A/N: I'm so curious guys, what do you think it's happening?