Chapter Thirty Eight!
~BACK ON THE BOAT~
Half an hour or so later, the nine RED mercs had teleported back to their no-longer-on-fire boat. Actually the term 'boat' wasn't applicable now.
It was more like a ten by ten foot square of driftwood almost dragged underwater by the weight of the team.
"Pretty lousy turn of events," the Demoman sighed, belching because he'd just downed a bottle of saltwater. The others nodded, bored, then Pyro started humming the Jaws theme.
The team eventually got freaked out and threatened to take away the bubbles if it didn't stop.
Instead they drifted quietly along, Soldier occasionally trying to row with his shovel, and put up with the increasing bouts of seasickness.
"Should we reminisce or something?" the Engineer asked a bit later.
"Engy, we discussed this."
"Oh yeah, no more clichés. Sorry Soldier."
"We could… sing a song?" Scout suggested uncertainly. Soldier hadn't the patients for a verbal warning and simply hit the kid on the back of the head.
"D'you think we're gonna get to the base?" Sniper asked no one in particular. Nobody noticed, but Archimedes, sitting on Medic's shoulder, shook his head and cooed the dove for 'I wouldn't bet on you idiots'.
"We'd be there now if not for BLU babies," Heavy assured. The Spy seemed doubtful of this fact;
"Or if we weren't wanted in at least three different places." Grumpy pants.
The mercs fell back into splashy silence, thoughts frantically being forced away from sharks.
All of a sudden there was a low, immensely loud gurgling noise. The startled team glanced around in confusion, then one by one their horrified gazes found the source. God have mercy.
The Heavy was hungry.
As one, the eight other REDs scampered for safety, which unfortunately drove them all to the same side of their boat. Which began to tip.
The survival instinct kicked in but common sense, I'm afraid, did not.
Uttering scared, nonsense words like someone had smashed their face on a keyboard, the REDs sprinted back to Heavy's side. The boat dipped wildly.
"I know ve say zhis a lot but I really think ve're going to die zhis time!" the Medic announced, running aimlessly around the floating platform of death.
Heavy, sitting down, was sliding uselessly side to side, either wondering the Hell was going on or selecting his lunch victim.
Somehow the wooden panel the team was on flipped until it was balanced vertically, leaving the nine men to fit precariously in very little space. Screw physics.
They eventually bobbed on the spot for a couple of minutes.
…
Cue giant whale! Suddenly the REDs were lifted above the water, suspended on the back of a marvellously timed whale.
The team exchanged blank expressions, then with no warning a massive blast of water spouted, shooting the mercs skyward. Oh what fun! In the correct direction too!
"CLICHÉÉÉÉÉ!" the Soldier screamed, as they flew over a rainbow.
Scout burst into tears. Spy laughed. Sad days.
C'mon, you all knew a rainbows make me cry joke was gonna happen :p
Thanks for reviewing guys :D