If someone had asked Roxy a year ago if she ever expected to be sitting at a Table with the likes of Tilly Longbottom and Tolkien Smith, she probably would have laughed at how preposterous such an idea sounded. She hated Tilly Longbottom, after all, and didn't think Tolkien was even worth her time to bother with.
And yet, here they all were. Tilly, Tolkien, Jo, Lily, Roxy, Albus, Brennan (who had honestly just invited himself), Aniya, and Desmond.
The last two had entered their circle—still as of yet unnamed (though Albus wanted to call themselves the Faced Ones, a proposal which had been immediately and unanimously turned down)—by invitation of Roxy. The others put up only mild protests, with Brennan insisting that there was no way of telling if the two were trustworthy enough, but Roxy only kept reminding everyone that her co-workers would be important and necessary additions until the rest of the circle gave in.
"But what about Rose?" asked Lily. "Doesn't she have an idea of everything that's happened? And—and she's smart. We could use someone like her in our 'secret inner circle' and I'm going to nominate Rose since Roxy got to bring in her work friends."
Albus pursed his lips in thought. "I'll ask as soon as I can, hopefully before our next meeting, probably just slowly approach the topic and see what she says and how she reacts. Perhaps I could ask Scor, as well? He's just as smart as Rose and has twice the connections, especially when it comes to the, er, darker side of the Wizarding world."
It was decided and their group was completed, with the exception of Rose and Scorpius who had, obviously, not yet been asked.
Perhaps, if anyone ever figured out how to cure Lucy, she would be their final member, but other than that, the circle decided together, there were enough people for now. Too many more and someone might break away, turn them in, finding their loyalties stretched a bit too tight.
(And, after all, no one wanted to let a Peter Pettigrew into their midst.)
Now, they were all sitting around the table of Tolkien's flat—since he was the only one who lived independently, without danger of someone else walking in and asking what they were doing, huddled around the kitchen table and plotting in low voices.
Though calling this a kitchen was a bit of a stretch, since Tolkien's couch was only two metres from the table at which they were currently sitting and his bed was pushed against the wall furthest away from the door, not even separated from them by a screen. But at least he lived by himself—no parents, no siblings spouses, or room-mates.
To a girl like Roxy, who had never not shared a living space with someone else, this cramped little flat was practically a castle-like, even if there was mold crawling across the ceiling and every floorboard creaked and groaned with the slightest bit of weight. At least Tolkien didn't have to share it with anyone.
"Did you know that today is Valentine's Day?" Lily suddenly brought up, interrupting the silence that had built up while they were eating lunch, taking a short break from discussing their plans.
"Is it?" asked Tilly, looking around like she expected to find a calendar somewhere to confirm Lily's proclamation.
"I've not been single for Valentine's Day since I was a fifth year," said Lily with a hint of shock colouring her words, her eyes darting in Tolkien's direction. "Never. And now I'm single and pregnant and in a secret society that's obsessed with ghosts and Faceless Ones or whatever this guy is called."
"That's all on you, sweetheart," muttered Aniya; Lily glared at her, but Aniya shrugged—it wasn't like she was going to be scared off by the likes of Lily Potter when she had already gone up against McGregor and his cronies, who were all much taller and alarming in appearance than Lily was.
Roxy suddenly recalled her last Valentine's Day, the first one she'd ever spent properly, hiding in the darkest corner of The Three Broomsticks, snickering at any of the glum-faced couples that she and Kieran saw who came trudging in with a had covered in pink and white confetti from Madame Puddifoot's/
"Being single myself, i've hardly given to caring if it's Valentine's Day or Guy Fawkes Night or just any random old Tuesday afternoon. In fact, I'd like to take this moment to say that revolutionaries are rarely ever started by those who get distracted by a simple holiday and they certainly, therefore, are hardly ever won, either!" Brennan glared around at them all, clearly realising for the first time what being surrounded by all these people in their late teens and early twenties meant, that he was surrounded by a sea of immaturity.
"Well, aren't you just incredibly rude?" Lily snapped, entirely put out.
Brennan scowled back at Lily. "You're all treating this ike it's some kind of game. 'Oh, let's take our time, let's goof off, let's talk about theholidays unti hell freezes over and kills us all!'" He looked around at them all, eyes blazing. "You waste so much time acting like kids. I bet you they didn't goof around like this when it was Voldemort threatening us all."
Albus leaned forward, opening his mouth to, hopefully, defuse the situation, but Lily quickly cut across her brother.
"You don't know any better than the rest of us—you weren't around back then. Hell, we probably know better than you do, living with actual war heroes all our lives."
"Are you saying something against my parents, Potter?"
"I dunno, did your parents fight at the Battle of Hogwarts, Klein?"
"They're fucking muggleborns, that'd be suicide if they'd gone to fight!"
"My aunt Hermione is a muggleborn and she fought! What's their excuse?"
"Hey!" Everyone turned to stare at Roxy in amazement, watching as she stood up and pressed her hands into the table, looking back and forth between Lily and Brennan. "Nobody gives a shit if your parents never stepped foot in Hogwarts if they led the whole damn army themselves. We aren't here to make judgements or go at each other's throats at all hours of the day. Brennan has a point—we don't have an infinite amount of time to just sit around and insult each other, not when there's some big bad thing coming after the whole wizarding world. No one has any clue what in the hell it is we're meant to be fighting or even how we're supposed to fight it. But squabbling amongst ourselves isn't going to help improve the situation either."
Jo reached under the table to squeeze her hand reassuringly when Roxy finished speaking and fell back into her seat with a heavy sigh.
"I thought you spoke pretty well," Jo whispered as Albus leaned forward to take control of the meeting once more. They had all agreed he was the best person in the group to take charge, as the most level-headed one.
"I think I'll puke if I ever have to do that again," Roxy replied, pressing her hand against her friend's, feeling dizzy. There were a lot of other people here, most of them older than herself. Sure, she could be stand-offish at times, but snapping at her cousin as well as someone who was nearly a decade older than her...well, they both deserved it, behaving like immature little kids when there was still so much that needed to be done.
Creating this circle of people was only the first step in their plan.
Is there really going to be a war, do you think?" Jo asked, looking worried.
"We're already in a war, Jo. They made the first move, attacking us through people like Kieran and Lucy. But we're not going to let them—it—whatever win." Albus looked over to where Roxy and Jo were sitting, a confident look on his face, hands placed firmly on his hips and chest pushed forward to express his certainty.
We're already in a war.
The thought made Roxy shiver.
After the meeting, everyone bustled around, grabbing coats and scarved before heading out to face the harsh cold that was still hanging over London even in mid-February. Winter felt like it was getting longer and longer with every passing year.
"Hey, Rox?" Aniya moved to tap Roxy's shoulder, giving the taller girl a slight smile.
Roxy turned to look at her, studying her co-worker. Though Roxy had put up such a fuss to get Aniya and Desmond incldued, she still had her own doubts about her newest friends, she could not have explained (if prompted to do so) what it was, exactly, that made it just a tad difficult to trust them. Tey were both nice enough, friendly, and helpful—and yet.
And yet.
Aniya looked away for a second, deep in thought, before turning back to face Roxy. "Do you know if Trelawney would be able to help Lily at all with her whole possible prophecy skills problem?"
Roxy gawked at Aniya. "How do you know that?" she demanded, pulling Aniya away from everyone else. "I haven't told anyone else about that yet—anyone. How did you find out about that fact?"
Aniya looked away again, blushing, but Roxy ony pulled on her arm to get Aniya to look at Roxy once more. Roxy deserved answers, and by Merlin, she was going to get them.
"I was a Hyfflepuff at Hogwarts," Aniya said finally, and in a quiet tone, looking ashamed of herself. "I—I didn't think anyone would recognise my last name, since we're no Malfoy or Goyle, but...my dad made choices he shouldn't have, picked the wrong side, the losing side."
"Your dad was a Death Eater?"
"Yes, he was."
It was weird to look at the short, friendly Aniya and now that she'd come froma Death Eater, the group of extremists that had killed her uncle and so many others in the name of keeping wizarding blood "pure", as though that were even possible.
"But what does that have to do with you knowing about Lily? I don't see the connection."
"Well, being a Death Eater, and not one of high enough profile to pay for his actions, or to warrant the likes of Harry Potter as his defence, my father spent five years in Azkaban as a petty Death Eater criminal before he was finally released. Even now, he has no wand, no access to Portkeys. But he has us—my sisters and I, his only legacy, disgraced as it is. And he taught us the importance of protecting our minds against our enemies, even from a young age."
"You mean—Legilimency? And—and Occlumency? You can do that?" Roxy's voice hitched with incredulit. She'd never met anyone personally who had mastered both, and at such a young age as well.
"He thought we'd be safer this way, blocking ourselves from anyone who might try to invade our minds to find out things about our father. We used to practise for hours at a time, Dad digging into our brains and us trying to keep him out." She looked away, almost embarassed by the memory. "I was seven the first time he practised on me. He used his skils for—nothing big, just catching out on a lie about who'd broken a picture frmae, but...it was so horrifying, having him in my head like that. He did the same thing with my sister, Aleah, when she turned seven two years later, and then again with Anarya. I was already in Hogwarts by that point."
Roxy stared at her friend. How could anyone do such horrible things to a child so young? To take away their privacy, their sense of self like that?
"So that's why you're a Hufflepuff? To distance yourself from your Death Eater father?"
Aniya nodded, frowning as she stared down at her hands in contemplation. "That's why I knew, though, about your having visited Trelawney in the first place. It's—it's gotten to be a habit, and not one that I can always control or stop myself from doing. I just...it's like...I have to see what everyone is thinking."
"Could you—" Roxy almost didn't want to ask, in case that was not how Legilimency worked. "Could you do that to someone who isn't conscious? See into their minds or whatever it is that you actually do?"
"Like Lucy?"
Roxy nodded sheepishly, bracing herself for the crushing 'no' that was surely forming on Aniya's lips at that moment.
"I—I don't really know, to be honest. I've never tried on someone who wasn't conscious. It sort of works if they're asleep—a bit murky and hard to sort through, though, because half of their thoughts and memories are wrapped up in non-sensical dreams, but maybe I could—even if she is in a coma—I should at least try, as both your friend and for more personal interests."
"Hm?"
"Well, imagine it, if I am successful and it turns out that you can see into the minds of coma patients!i mean, just think of all the implications that could have medicaly! Legilimency guiding people who've been out of it for years, directing back into consciousness! How amazing would that be?"
"So you'll help?"
Aniya nodded. "I'm in the group, aren't I? I'm wiling to do anything to improve the world, same as your or Longbottom or Potter or any of the others. Besides, I've seen how you think of Lucy and waking her up should be amongst our top priorities, as far as I'm concerned."
"Good. Maybe now, something will finally be done," said Rose happily, imagining her older cousin finally waking up and telling them everything she knew about the Faceless Ones and all the ghosts. Could this be the solution to getting some answers?
Aniya nodded, looking over her shoulder as Desmond moved closer, beckoning her over to him. "I guess i'll see you at work tomorrow, huh?" she said, waving a hand at Desmond in a 'give me a moment' manner. "Are we all moving in on Saturday orare you and Jo going to be waiting until Monday?"
"Uh, I think she and I settled on around noon on Sunday so there's no rushing around after work lets off, which is what she apparently wants to do, though I know that I'm sure as hell not dragging around a bunch f heavy boxes at seven in the evening after dealing with McGregor and his merry gang of assholes all day."
"Don't forget that you're a witch and can Summon or Banish things and Apparate in and out—we don't want a repeat of the supply cabinet at work, right?" Aniya gave her a teasing smirk, to which Roxy batted at her shoulder, laughing.
"You're bloody hilarious, mate," she said, then noticed Desmond making 'hurry up!' motions once more. "I think Des might be in a hurry for you to go."
"Oh, fine," Aniya replied, letting out a heavy sigh before cracking another smile. "See you tomorrow then, Roxy, and we can talk some more about going to test out our theories on your cousin."
"Alright, bye, Aniya."
"See you."
Now, the only ones left were Roxy, Jo, and Tolkien, who was still sitting in the same spot at the table, tracing patterns with a dull butter knife, looking worlds away and completely oblivious to the two girls still in his home.
Jo looked over at Tolkien with suspicious eyes, not certain that he wasn't about to jump out at one of them with the butter knife.
"Do you suppose that, a year from now, we'll all be completely different people than we are today?" she asked, trying to distract herself. "I mean, think about how much we hated Tilly and now we're working wit her. Lily's going to be mum in less than a month, Albus is getting married this year, you and I are both employed." Jo widened her eyes at Roxy, who only shrugged in response, not really sure what there was to still be said about how different things were.
The only words she could find were, "Grandmum's the one taking charge of the baby, even though she's almost eighty. Lily doesn't even know how to be amum and she's not going to be one anyway, not really, so it's all fine."
it felt somewhat mean to say the words out loud, especially when Tolkien jerked in his seat and dug the knife into the table even harder, a frown spreading across his features and his brow furrowing.
Even Jo looked at Roxy like she'd gone a tad too far, mentioning the fate of the baby in front of Tolkien, though Roxy thought that was a bit unfair. After all, Jo was the one who'd brought Lily up in the first place.
"Is she happy?" Tolkien asked suddenly, his voice little more than a croak. Roxy realised that he had not spoken once during the entire meeting, had not even opened his mouth to say good-bye to anyone as they left.
"Who, Lily?"
Tolkien nodded, the speed of his knife grinding into the table increasing. He wouldn't stop nodding or stabbing into the wood until Roxy was quite certain he'd go right through clear to the other side—or just nod his own head off before then.
Jo and Roxy shot each other worried looks and moved to either side of him; Roxy eased the knife from out of his grasp while Jo reached up to steady his wildly bobbing head.
"Have you been eating properly?" Jo asked, leaning forward to inspect the thinness of his face and the shadows under his eyes. "Are you even sleeping at all?"
Tolkien opened his mouth, but nothing came out; he gulped and tried again. "Whenever I close my eyes, all I can think about is how, in eleven years, my daughter will be getting ready to go to Hogwarts and she won't—" He choked. "—won't even know I exist. I'm worse than my father. At east he gave me a name of my own and raised me until I was of Hogwarts age. I won't even get to give her that much."
Again, Roxy was at a loss for something to say. In all honestly, she did rather agree with what Tolkien said, that he was going to be a worse father for not ever getting to know his daughter, but at the same time, that wasn't really his fault, now was it?
Lily was the one who decided to give up the baby; Lily was the one who broke up with Tolkien; and Lily was the one who went around and bad-mouthed him every chanced that she got, while Tolkien only sulked and pined after what could have been.
Together, they were miserable, but apart, they were pathetic and petty.
"Lily doesn't hate you, you know that, right Tolkien? She really doesn't, it's just a matter of—of...differing opinions about what she wanted with her life versus what you want with yours." Roxy could hear how fake her words soudned, but she couldn't hate herself for lying, not if it meant that Tolkien would stop whining like a petulant child that had been separated from his favourite toy.
Roxy was of the opinion that both her cousin and her cousin's ex-boyfriend were full of shit and really needed to get over themselves.
(Perhaps what they really needed was a good slap in the face. It may have sounded mean, sure, but it was necessary sometimes, to be mean.)
"Do you think we could ever get back together?" asked Tolkien longingly.
(Merlin, did she ever want to hit him right then.)
Jo looked over at Roxy, raising an eyebrow to ask, 'are you going to tell the truth?'. Roxy shrugged; perhaps the truth was really what Tolkien needed at that exact moment. Sure, she'd just lied about Lily not hating Tolkien, but claiming that Lily still had feelings for him? Now, that was a cold move.
"Really and truthfully, Tolkein?" He nodded and Roxy let out a small puff of air. "No, I dont think she'll ever take you back or even consider the notion. Lily...I dont really know what her issue is, but she's not looking for someone to love her. Lily's only looking for a few months of fun and she just happened to make the mistake of picking you because you're a Slytherin and that makes you seem dark, mysterious, and different. She picked you because she was bored and wanted something new, which you fulfilled, for a time. It was just an error of judgement that went much further than either of you would have ever anticipated."
Roxy pushed the memory of Lily confessing her possible desire to marry Tolkien to the back of her mind. That had been back in July, ages and ages ago in Lily's world, not to mention that she'd been completely high and therefore not responsible for anything she said, being completely out of her bloody mind. Lily had never wanted to marry Tolkien. She simply wasnt the settling down and starting a family kind, no matter how much Grandmum wanted her to be.
"So she'll never love me again?" he asked despondently, reaching forward to snatch the knife out of her hands, but Roxy simply banished the item before he could get ahold of it. "I was just a small fling that went terribly wrong and she's—what? Throwing me to the curb, even after I told her that I loved her more than any other girl in the world? Isn't that what girls want, to be told they're loved and wanted and cherished?"
"Lily's not exactly a normal girl, Tolkien, and that should have been obvious going into your relationship," said Jo admonishingly. "Don't you remember how many times she ended up in the wizarding tabloids with the announcement of a new boyfriend? It should have been pretty clear from the start that Lily wasn't going into this relationship looking for anything permament."
"She said she wanted to marry me, some day," said Tolkien sadly.
Roxy gave him a shocked look. Had it been to more than just herself that Lily had drunkenly rambled about her affections for Tolkien Smith back in July? Just how serious had her feelings actually been only a few months ago?
Jo shook her head. "Be realistic, Tolkien. No offense, but you're just simply not the type of guy most girls want to bring home and introduce to their parents. You're wild, you're a druggie, and you've got no future at all." Roxy slapped her friend's arm, but Jo only rolled her eyes. "What? It's true—we all know that's why Lily won't let him have custordy of her daughter, is because she thinks he'll fall right back into all of the partying crap and hurt their child. It's why she won't take care of the little girl herself, because she doesn't want to give up on the lifestyle, either."
"I could change!" gasped Tolkien desperately, eyes wide. He looked high enough already. "I could stop partying and drinking and smoking and—"
"It wouldn't change a thing, Tolkien. Lily's moved on, the world's moved on, and in total honesty, we've got more important things to focus on than your relationship issues. Like Roxy and Albus were talking about earlier, we've got an impending war on our hands and a custody battle is the least of our worries right now. Just give up on her already, yeah? She's never coming back and you look pathetic when you beg."
Jo stood up, indicating for Roxy to follow, but shrugged when her friend held up a finger. When Jo walked out the front door, Roxy turned to look at Lily's ex-boyfriend, wanting to take back the mean things that Jo had said about him and the mean things that Roxy herself had ever thought about Tolkien. Maybe he didn't deserve all of this crap, especially if he was trying to turn his life around for the better.
He let his head drop into his hands and groaned wildly, a bit like an animal. "I just wanted her to be happy, Roxy! I just wanted her to love me! Why won't she love me?"
"I don't know, Tolkien," was all that Roxy could say, because it was the truth. "I honestly just don't know. Why does anything bad ever happen? I couldn't tell you, I don't know, I'm truly sorry, but I don't. Sometimes things just happen."
Tolkien burst into tears.