Simon Vs The Ice King
Back in Simon's mind Simon and Marceline were standing in the icy labyrinth. "A thousand years huh?" Simon sighed as he looked around the mess. "Wait…if it's been a thousand years how come…?"
"Betty's alive? It's a long story," Marceline waved.
"I was going to say you and Betty," Simon frowned then he saw her neck for the first time. "Marcy what happened to you?"
"Short version, I became Queen of the Vampires," Marceline smirked. "It's okay Simon. I love being a vampire. And I have my own rock band I play with every now and then so it's all good."
"Queen of the Vampires who's also a rock star," Simon shook his head. "If it were anyone else I'd be worried. But you were always a strong tough little girl."
"Grew up to be a stronger tougher big girl," Marceline smiled. "Thanks to you."
"And Betty?" Simon asked.
"She was going to come back to you Simon but that jerk Damon kidnapped her and threw her in a stasis pod against her will," Marceline explained. "So you see she still loved you."
"Stasis pod?"
"There are these humans that froze themselves and shot off into outer space for a thousand years in a spaceship to preserve their species," Marceline explained. "Thanks to Damon Betty went along for the ride, even though it wasn't her idea."
"No wonder I could never find her," Simon let out a breath and scratched his messy hair. "I looked all over the Earth but she was never on Earth…"
He stopped for a moment. "Marcy…did I…hurt you?"
"Not really no," Marceline shrugged. "I think I hurt myself more by trying to forget about you and when it didn't work it made me mad. Only when I stopped fighting it and actually spent time with you…Well with the Ice King it made it…bearable. Because I still saw something of you in there."
"But I didn't…" Simon winced.
"You tried to kiss me one or two times but only because you got confused," Marceline admitted. "You were crazy but you never really hurt me. I was always way too strong for you."
"That's something at least," Simon let out a breath.
"Simon trust me. I made sure you didn't get out of line with me," Marceline told him.
"With you…?" Simon realized. "Marcy what exactly did I do…?"
"Let's just say you had a bad habit of kidnapping princesses to be your wife," Marceline decided honesty was the best policy.
"Ohhh…" Simon winced in pain. "It's worse than I thought! I didn't…"
"Don't worry. Nothing really bad happened. The worst thing you did to them was read your bad fan fiction. Oh there was this time you took their body parts in order to create a new wife but…"
"I DID WHAT?" Simon yelled.
"Don't worry. No one died and all their body parts eventually got put back," Marceline waved. "So no major damage. That was kind of the worst thing you did. No wait, there was this time you tried to delete all life from Ooo except for you and Princess Bubblegum using a computer program…"
"WHAT?"
"You wanted a date with Bubblegum and you thought if you were the last person on Ooo…" Marceline said casually.
"Marcy why are you telling me all this?" Simon moaned. "This is not helping!"
"Just giving you a little more incentive to fight. Do you really want that crazy person to keep being in charge of your body?" Marceline asked. "And driving the rest of us crazy?"
"No…" Simon winced.
"Good. We don't have much time. Are you sure you're up to this?" Marceline said.
"Honestly, no," Simon frowned. "But I do feel stronger now. I have to do this Marcy. I have to take my life back. This is the only shot I have left and I'm not going to waste it."
"That's what I want to hear. A lot of stuff happened over the years," Marceline told him.
"No kidding. I need to catch up and I need to do it fast," Simon said with resolve.
"There's only one way to do it fast," Marceline sighed looking at the bass axe. "This is going to hurt. A lot."
"Bash every single memory free no matter how much it hurts," Simon told her. "No matter how painful or…"
"There's a lot of walls in here," Marceline groaned.
"Yeah but if you smash enough of them he'll come running out," Simon growled.
"I'm hurting you because I love you," She gently took his face in her hands.
"I know," Simon said softly. Marceline tenderly kissed him on the cheek. "Do it."
"Brace yourself," Marceline prepared to strum her bass axe. "It's gonna be a bumpy ride!"
She let out a huge blast of music, the riffs shaking the walls and splintering ice everywhere. The memories started to swirl around them like shards of glass in a tornado. The older memories were breaking out first. Images of Simon as a young child were fast and fleeting.
"AGGGHHH!" Simon winced as the memories became dislodged. "K-Keep playing!"
More memory shards splintered and whirled around them. As she played Marcy saw glimpses of Simon's life before they met.
"Please I just want some soup…" Simon begged a manager in a Soupery. "I have money…"
"Throw this freak out!" The manager yelled.
"What are you? Some kind of goblin?" A homeless man yelled and pulled a knife on Simon in an alley. "Die you freak!"
"No please! Stop! Don't make me do this!" Simon backed into a corner. He pulled on the crown and a blizzard was shown.
"He's got a crown! Let's call him the King!" Someone mocked as Simon was thrown into an arena of some kind. All around there were people betting and jeering at him.
"Time to extend my winning streak king!" A beefy man laughed as he prepared to beat up Simon.
"You made me do this…" Simon snarled as he put on the crown and used his powers to ice up his opponent. Then he attacked the bettors and his captors. "YOU WANT TO SEE THE TRUE POWER OF A KING? I'LL SHOW YOU THE TRUE POWER OF THE KING OF ICE AND SNOW!"
"Don't go near him! He might have some kind of disease!" Some woman yelled as Simon was chased away from a homeless shelter by an angry mob of people, throwing rocks and rotten food at him.
An image of Simon facing off against a group of soldiers was shown. They pointed their rifles at him and he put on the crown, using his power to protect himself.
Another image of Simon riding on the back of a giant werewolf of some kind being chased by police helicopters.
"I'm still a man…" Simon pleaded with a figure outside his cage.
"I don't know what you are, but whatever it is. It's not human…" The cruel voice mocked him. At this Simon collapsed in tears.
It made Marceline sick at some of the images she witnessed. She couldn't believe how cruel the humans were to him. They treated him like some kind of animal…She thought bitterly.
"ENOUGH! STOP IT! STOP WRECKING MY HOME!"
Marceline felt something tackle her but she easily threw it off. She glared at the Ice King persona snarling and growling at her. "I wondered how long it would take for you to show your face!"
"Girl you have no idea the forces you are toying with!" The Ice King snarled in a raspier voice.
"Is that what I look like now?" Simon gasped.
"Uh sort of," Marceline explained. "Actually you're a little dorkier than this so…"
"What are you doing out Wimp?" The Ice King hissed at Simon.
"I'm taking my life back," Simon said with conviction. The Ice King laughed at this. "What's so funny?"
"A weakling like you? Yeah right!" The Ice King snarled. "If it wasn't for me running the show you wouldn't even be alive right now!"
"You're running the show? Don't you mean the crown?" Simon faced the Ice King. "She's the real power. You're just her puppet!"
"Better than being a big nerd," The Ice King hissed.
"Better a big nerd than an iced up creep who lets a hat tell him what to do," Simon snarled back.
"Oooo! Somebody got his sass on!" Ice King mocked. "You really think you have a shot at beating me? I'm the all-powerful Ice King!"
"If you're so all powerful how come you get your butt kicked by a kid and his dog every other week?" Marceline taunted.
"Stay out of this girl," Ice King looked at Marceline. "Although I do admit you are cute when you are feisty! Maybe after I take care of the wimp you and I can…?"
"SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE YOU DISEASED ICE BAG!" Simon roared in the Ice King's face. "YOU WANT A FIGHT? I'LL GIVE YOU ONE!"
The Ice King screamed as Simon used his claws to slash at his face. "OW! That hurts!"
"Now who's the wimp?" Simon snarled as he punched the Ice King in the stomach. "This is for every stupid scheme…Every hurtful thing you've done! I'm taking my life back! Even if I have to shred you to pieces to do it!"
"OOFFF! What you're clawing me right now? What's next? Biting?" Ice King snarled as he struggled against Simon. "OW! YOU BIT ME! YOU ANIMAL!"
"That's right. I'm an animal. I've got claws and fangs and I'm willing to use them!" Simon snarled before he bit the Ice King on the arm for a second time.
"YOWWWW! OKAY! YOU WANT A FIGHT NERD? YOU GOT IT!" Ice King roared as the two of them fought. They fought like animals, biting, slashing, kicking and punching each other. There was no grace or beauty to the fight. Just savage brutality.
"COME ON SIMON! KICK HIS ASS!" Marceline called out.
"Marceline? Come on! I thought we were buds!" Ice King stopped before Simon punched him in the face.
"You've gotten soft and lazy Ice King," Simon sneered as he beat his counterpart. "You're nothing without the crown!"
"Neither are you!" Ice King snarled and got his second wind as he tackled Simon.
"You're wrong…" Simon hissed, his teeth dripping with blood. "I'm not nothing…My name…is Simon Petrikov. I'm a professor of archeology…an antiquarian…"
"A weak little crybaby who had a breakdown when his girlfriend left him," Ice King sneered. "Booo…hooo…I'm Simon. Nobody loves me. Betty come back! Princess please love me again…"
That did it. Simon head butted him and knocked him onto his back. "SHE DOES LOVE ME!" Simon snarled as he tore into the Ice King with his claws. "SHE PROVED IT WHEN SHE CAME BACK FOR ME! IT'S NOT HER FAULT SHE RAN AWAY! IT'S YOURS!"
"Simon come back to me…" Betty's voice was heard. "Please come back…"
"Betty…" Simon blinked. He fought even harder, pummeling the Ice King.
"That's it Simon! Get him!" Marceline cheered. "You're doing it!"
"Simon I know you're in there. I'm here. And I'm not leaving you again…" Betty's voice was heard.
"Come on Simon! You can do this!" Finn's voice was heard. "We got your back!"
"You're the man Simon! Take the Ice King down!" Jake called out.
"Betty…My friends…" Simon blinked. "I have friends!" He roared as he further beat the Ice King, tearing into him with his claws. "I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT ME! NOT YOU! ME!"
Simon stopped and snarled in the beaten Ice King's face. "Nobody wants you Ice King! It's me they want! Not you!"
"Don't be stupid…" The Ice King coughed up blood. "They only want you because they think it will get rid of me. When they learn the truth about what you are they'll turn their backs on you and hate you even more."
"Don't listen to him Simon!" Marceline called out.
"What do you think is going to happen if you destroy me?" The Ice King mocked. "What? Then all of the sudden your princess will kiss you and you'll turn back into a person like it's some kind of fairy tale? Oh no…That's not how this works. Even if you kill me…Even if somehow you destroy the crown there's no changing back."
Simon was stunned. The Ice King further twisted the knife. "You crossed that line a long time ago, Simon. There is no turning back to what you were. You've lost your humanity for good eons ago and there's nothing you can do to get it back."
"You're wrong!" Marceline called out. "Even if he can't change back physically he'll still be more human than most humans I've met! The real Simon is good and kind and his heart is capable of love. Even you and the crown couldn't take that away from him!"
"And you can't take away the things Simon's done…" Ice King told her. He glared at Simon. "You've done things. Terrible things…And you can't blame all of it on the crown or your madness. Face it, you're an animal now. A creature that should have stayed extinct!"
"Simon! Look at me!" Marceline called out. Simon looked at her. "I'm not human either. And I've done some pretty bad stuff over the years too. But can you honestly say my existence doesn't have any humanity in it?"
"No…Not you Marcy…" Simon was stunned. "You're good Marcy. I know you're good."
"That's because of you Simon," Marceline said. "You gave me that bit of humanity even more than my own blood. You gave me that spark of goodness that gives me the strength to…To not be like my Dad! That's human enough for me!"
"Oh please spare me the sap fest!" Ice King rolled his eyes. "Hurry up and kill me so I don't have to listen to this garbage anymore."
"Oh I'm not going to kill you Ice King," Simon snarled menacingly. "I'm going to do to you what you did to me. I'm going to bury your mind so deep you'll never get out! Let's see how you like being frozen in someone's brain for a thousand years!?"
"It won't do you any good you know…" The Ice King panted. "She won't let you win. The crown…"
"Is no longer your problem," Simon snarled.
"Yeah! Besides I've got a way to fix that," Marceline spoke up.
"You do?" Both Simon and the Ice King spoke up.
"Yeah I took a few soul sucking lessons from my dad," Marceline sighed.
"Marceline you're not going to…" Simon was worried.
"I'm not going to swallow it. I'm just going to pull it out of the crown and put it in your ghost pouch," Marceline said. "I got it from the Ice Kingdom."
"Then can we destroy the crown?" Simon asked.
"No, we can't. Look I know you don't want to hear this but we can't destroy it. And not just because it might kill you," Marceline interrupted Simon before he could speak again. "The Ice Kingdom supplies Ooo and all the surrounding lands with water. You die, the Ice Kingdom dies. The Ice Kingdom dies…"
"Everybody dies," Simon realized. "Great. I'm stuck being cursed for all eternity."
"Aw come on. Eternity isn't that bad. A bit boring in parts but not that bad," Ice King said. "Hey how about we forget about all this and go pick up some princesses? You know Marceline is a bit of cutie herself?"
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" Simon pummeled the Ice King. "I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAD TO LIVE LIKE YOU ALL THESE CENTURIES! AGGGHH! YOU DISGUSTING DIRTY OLD MAN!"
"Simon remember we kind of need him alive," Marceline reminded him.
"Marceline I don't even want his diseased memories inside of me!" Simon snapped. "Something tells me if I know everything he did I'd probably commit suicide!"
"That's pretty much what you're doing going against the crown anyway," Ice King said.
"DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT?" Simon yelled at his counterpart. "Fine! Let's just get this over with!"
"What are you going to do? Hug me like you did with Nerd Boy?" Ice King snorted. "Sorry chump! Not gonna work a second time! And I'm not gonna tell you how to do it! BLEAH!" He stuck his tongue out at him.
"How are you going to do it?" Marceline asked Simon.
"Only one way. I'm going to take responsibility for what I've done," Simon took a deep breath. "No more blaming the crown or running away. I'm facing up to my past. Like it or not I am the Ice King. And if I have to live with that then so be it! I'm just going to have to swallow my pride and accept it!"
The Ice King's eyes widened. "Oh garlic balls you figured it out!"
"Yeah…" Simon growled. "Down the hatch Ice King!"
CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP!
"Ooh," Marceline winced as she saw Simon chew down the Ice King and swallow him in a few bites. "That's a bit disturbing even for me."
"Blech…I taste terrible…" Simon made a face. He clutched his stomach in pain. "AGGH!"
The ground around them started to shake violently. "Whoa! What's happening?"
"This labyrinth is my mind, right?" Simon winced in pain. "Well…Let's just say there's going to be some major redecorating happening pretty fast!"
"Simon…?" Marceline gasped as the labyrinth changed and shifted all around her.
"Marcy I'll be okay! I'll be right behind you!" Simon barked as the walls changed and shifted. "Just go now! I'll follow! I promise!"
"You'd better not disappear on me again old man!" Marceline barked. "You hear me?"
"I WON'T! JUST GO!" Simon shouted over the storm of memory shards. Then a roar of snow and wind covered them both.
Meanwhile back in the real world.
"It's stopped raining swords," Jake Jr. called out. She looked out through a crack in the dungeon's opening.
"That's something at least," Jason sighed. "Now what do we do?"
"The Candy Kingdom might be the safest place to go for now," Bubblegum suggested. "Once we can move Marceline and…"
Marceline's eyes opened with a start. "GAH!" She gasped.
"She's awake!" Bubblegum gasped. "Marceline?" In concern she put her hand on her friend's back.
"I'm okay…" Marceline panted. "How is he? Simon? How's Simon?"
"The Ice King's vital signs are all over the place!" Dr. Nadal called out. "He's…"
"GAAAAAHHHHH!" The Ice King shot up screaming. He was starting to sweat and gasped for breath.
"He's awake!" Finn gasped. "Marceline are you all right?"
"I'm fine," Marceline let out a breath. "It got a little crazy in there."
"B-Betty…" The blue wizard gasped and looked at Betty.
"Oh Simon," Betty held him tightly.
"Wait, are you Simon? Or are you the Ice King?" Jake asked.
"Both…actually," The man known as both Ice King and Simon growled in his familiar voice. "I have…Both sets of memories all scrambled up in my head. But I am Simon…And I'm the Ice King. It hurts but I can think clearly…mostly. Sort of."
He hugged Betty tightly. "But I'm free…I'm free…" A tear leaked from his eye.
He looked at Marceline. "Thank you…"
Impulsively Marceline hugged Simon and kissed him on the forehead. "You're back…I can't believe you're back…"
"Not for long if we don't stop the crown," Finn warned.
"Yeah it's having a nice little rampage across the countryside courtesy of Damon," Big D explained.
"Damon? Who…Oh him," Simon winced. "Is that the same guy…?"
"Yeah. Him and his psycho girlfriend both tried to kill me," Betty groaned. "She damaged my stasis pod and he threw me out of the Ark when I wasn't young and cute anymore. Okay I admit it. You were right about him."
"You were also pretty spot on about the General," Bubblegum grumbled. "He's just an evil dork wad!"
"My head hurts too much to enjoy being right," Simon moaned as he held his head. Marceline hugged him again.
"Damon put the crown on and destroyed half the Ark," Jason said. "We used the confusion to escape. That and your penguin friends here pretty much kicked our army's butt."
"Wak?" Gunter blinked at Simon.
"Thank you Gunter," Simon let out a breath and patted the penguin on the head. "I don't know what I'd do without all of you." Gunter nuzzled Simon on his leg.
"Right now I know we have a few problems we need to take care of," Jason spoke up. "Number one is Damon."
"He wanted my crown, he can have it," Simon said bitterly.
"Problem is it's not just the humans he is going to be satisfied trashing," Marceline told him. "And even the sword storm is barely going to slow him down."
"Yeah he totally changed into an ice monster!" Finn said.
"The crown feeds off ambition and power," Marceline explained. "And Damon gave it a full twelve course meal complete with dessert."
"The one thing that crown wants more than me is the total destruction of everything," Simon told them. "Basically it wants to turn the entire Earth into a big snow globe."
"If that's true how come the Ice Kingdom…?" Dr. Nadal began to ask.
"Isn't bigger? That's because I never wanted to rule the world, even though the crown gave it its best shot," Simon smirked. "I guess I was too focused on well…You know? A lot of stupid little things."
"I never thought I'd say this but all those stupid kidnapping attempts were actually for the greater good if you compare it with the destruction of the Earth," Bubblegum groaned.
"Yeah…Sorry about that," Simon winced.
"You can apologize later," Jason said harshly. "Right now our main problem is Damon and the crown. How do we stop it?"
"Simple, knock the crown off his head," Simon said.
"Uh that might be a problem," Finn gulped.
"Basically Damon is one huge giant ice head thing now," Jake explained. "And the crown is frozen inside the ice head."
"Oh garlic balls…" Simon winced. "I always said Damon had a big head but seriously…"
There was a beeping sound. "What's that?" Finn asked.
"It's my communicator," Jason frowned. "Someone's trying to call us."
"Big D doesn't think you should answer that," Big D frowned. "They could be trying to trace us."
"Gonna be hard underground. Actually I'm amazed that thing has such good reception," Jake Jr. remarked.
"Might as well…"Jason answered it. "Starr here."
"Starr! Thank goodness! It's Colonel Booker!" The colonel's face appeared on the phone like device. "I've been trying to contact you for half an hour."
"Yeah well we're not exactly taking many calls now that we're wanted by General Barton," Jason winced.
"He doesn't really care much about you specifically right now. I don't have much time," Colonel Booker reported. "The General has gone mad! He's launching an invasion on the Candy Kingdom as we speak!"
"WHAT?" Bubblegum yelled.
"He wants revenge and he figures starting with the Candy Kingdom would be the easiest target. He had his soldiers kill a lot of our wounded and locked the remaining scientists up with me," Colonel Booker sighed. "Fortunately some of the people here are very good with electronics and communications. But all we can do is warn you before he uses the ODL against the Candy Kingdom and the rest of Ooo!"
"What is the ODL?" Bubblegum asked.
"Orbital Defense Launcher," Big D frowned. "To put it simply, the General has the ability to not only use a laser cannon but could also launch a bomb from space to nuke Ooo!"
"Nuke Ooo? As in a nuclear weapon?" Marceline yelled. "Like what destroyed the world in the first place?"
"I think he's only going to use the laser system to destroy the Ice Kingdom but…" Colonel Booker gulped.
"Laser system? That's just as bad! The Candy Kingdom has no defense for such a weapon!" Bubblegum gasped. "And neither does the Ice Kingdom!"
"The general only cares about soothing his wounded ego! He no longer cares nothing about our people or saving the human race," Colonel Booker shook his head. "Jason, you and your team are our only hope."
"Okay. Don't contact me again in case they're tracking this signal," Jason told him.
"Like I said, you're not exactly a high priority right now…" Colonel Booker sighed. "Booker out."
"He couldn't really do that could he?" Finn was stunned. "Wipe out the Candy Kingdom and the Ice Kingdom?"
"You heard the man. That monster killed his own people because they were hurt and he considered them a burden!" Marceline snarled. "Never mind the fact they got injured on his orders! Not even vampires or demons would do that to their own kind!"
"Just when I thought that man couldn't sink any lower…" Bubblegum snarled.
"Okay I wanna go back to being crazy again…" Simon moaned. "On the one hand there's Damon the Deranged running around with my evil possessed crown destroying everything. And on the other we have an evil deranged general going out to wage war on Ooo! Why did I bother getting sane again when everyone else has gone nuts?"
"It's my fault," Marceline growled. "I should have killed that jerk when I had the chance!"
"Then you would have been a monster like him," Bubblegum told her. "Besides there was no way you could have known he would do this."
"Yeah I would think most people would think twice about starting a war after getting their butts kicked by an army of penguins and a pink kitten," Jake agreed.
"But what do we do now?" Finn asked. "We have two major problems threatening Ooo!"
"We need to split into two groups," Bubblegum spoke up.
"I agree," Jason said. "Big D and I can sneak back to the Ark and try to shut down the ODL from there."
"Do any of your ships have the capability to go into outer space besides the Ark?" Bubblegum asked.
"No, not even the X-5 can do that," Big D frowned. "We have to get to the main control deck and hack in the system somehow."
"BMO can hack in system! Easy peasy!" BMO spoke up.
"Sure you're up for that little buddy?" Finn asked BMO.
"BMO is on the case!" BMO nodded. "I sneak in same way as last time. Three man team. Get in. Get out. Like shadow!"
"He's got a point," Jason said. "Too many people will draw attention to what we're doing."
"Maybe you should have some attention?" Simon thought. "Gunter can you make a smaller army of penguins using Daddy's Demonic Eye? Just large enough to draw the enemy fire."
"Wenk," Gunter nodded.
"Meow!" Kitten agreed.
"Good plan," Jason nodded. "Gunter will…do whatever she does to get the attention of the remaining troops. Draw their fire while me, Big D and BMO get inside through the ventilation systems on the east wall."
"Gunter don't go full on attack," Simon ordered. "After you're sure they're in pull back and join us at the Candy Kingdom. We're going to need you there too."
"Good idea because I don't think my Banana Guard is going to be up to the challenge. The rest of us will get the crown and take care of that threat," Bubblegum said.
"What about the Candy Kingdom?" Finn said.
"The biggest threat will be the ODL. If that is shut down I'm sure the Gumball Guardians and the city's defenses can hold out for a little while until we return," Bubblegum said. "For all we know, Damon could be headed that way anyway. And if he gets to the Candy Kingdom at the same time as the humans or before…"
"Yeah we know…" Simon growled. "Everybody becomes frozen popsicles."
"I'll get Mom and my siblings to help with the Candy Kingdom," Jake Jr. spoke up. "You'll need reinforcements."
"Good idea Jake Jr.," Jake nodded. "Just be careful okay?"
"Hey I'm only going to go find Mom. You're the one who's gonna attack an insane guy wielding a magic crown holding an evil spirit," Jake Jr. pointed out. "And then if you survive that you have to fight a whole bunch of soldiers attacking the Candy Kingdom."
"Good point," Jake winced. "Wanna trade?"