Author's Note: Hello Little Ducks. I'm so so sorry for not updating but my AP classes are getting the best of me. I will try my best to update at least once a week to get this story to its end, which is not very far. For now on I will focus of Gale's punishment and a little Everllark here and there. Thank you for not giving up on me. Please review and let me know what I should improve at. I've already started another story, I will post it as soon as I finish this one, so if you are already missing "My Dandelion from the Ashes" there is no reason to cry. Here is chapter 34. Enjoy.
I don't own The Hunger Games
Chapter 34
Katniss's POV
I wake up in the middle of the night sweating cold and tears streaming down my face. The window is slightly open and the cold night breeze makes me shiver. I'm still in shock because of my nightmare, what if it is a signal to what is going to happen? I know that Peeta wants to get revenge on Gale for what he did, but I know that Gale can be very dangerous. What if hurts Peeta? Or worse, what if…..what if…..
I start feelings even more desperate as these thoughts cross my mind. Peeta is sleeping soundly next to me; we are still both naked from our afternoon activities. I don't want to wake him up, but Peeta's arms around me is the only thing that could calm this suffocating feeling burning in my chest.
I reach for the blanket that he probably threw on us after I felt asleep. I try my best to snuggle closer to him and put my head on the crook of his neck, and then I let the tears flow. I feel so scared that my body starts to shake, even though the blanket and Peeta's body are keeping me warm.
I can't keep these thoughts from coming to my mind. What if I lose Peeta? What if the capitol takes him from me? What if he has an episode and never snaps out of it? And the worst of all, what if Gale does something to him?
I feel Peeta starts to stir next to me and I try my best to contain the sobs that are burning in my chest. But I can't contain the loud sniffles.
"Katniss?" I hear his angelic voice whispering my name like a prayer, I don't answer. I hold back all noises I could possibility make, including breathing. I don't want Peeta to worry about me again, most of the time I feel like I've become I child for him. Peeta is always taking care of and looking after me, and I know that even for someone as perfect as him it must be getting old. Peeta is a teenager boy, he wants a girlfriend to fulfill his needs and be by his side, not a crying baby.
"Katniss I know you are awake. Come on baby, what is going on?" I feel his hand on my chin trying to force me to look at him. Knowing Peeta as well as I do, I know that nothing I say or do will give him peace until he knows I'm perfectly fine. So I let his strong and delicate banker fingers turn my face until my eyes meet his in the moonlight.
"P-p-peeta…." I whisper, my voice shaking with the tears I gave up on fighting.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
"I'm scared." I answer honestly. I don't think I've ever said those words to anybody who was not my father. I used to sleep by myself in the little space we called the living room in our house in the Seam. I remember how the moonlight would cause shadows to form figures around me, like monsters trying to reach for me. I would call my father and ask him to stay and he would lay with me, singing softly, until I finally felt asleep. Since my father died I don't think I've ever given myself the luxury of feeling fear and letting myself be a coward for a moment, a lost child seeking protection from someone stronger. But now, with my boy with the bread, I can finally let my guard down.
"What are you scared about?" Peeta asks as he caresses my cheek with the back of his hand.
"I don't want you to go close to Gale. He is dangerous and I don't know what he could do. Please, I can't lose you again…" I say. Peeta sighs.
"We don't know what the plan will be. Katniss, I don't want you to worry about this. I can't promise I won't seek revenge for what he has done to you, but I promise that I won't do anything to put you or myself in danger. Is that enough for now?" He asks. I nod slowly.
"Good. Now let's go back to sleep." He wraps his arms around me tighter, after a few seconds I hear his soft snores. I don't sleep for the rest of the night. I let myself fall to a dark place where the memories of the past and the uncertain future come to haunt me. I think about our losses and also everything we still have to lose. I let some tears fall silently here and then, hoping that one day I will finally lay my head on a pillow and close my eyes in peace before the day of my death.
I watch as the first sunrays start to shine through Peeta's window and he stir slightly. As the baker's son, Peeta probably woke up very early his entire life to start working. I remember when I used to pass by the bakery as I went hunting and I would catch a glimpse of Peeta's father opening the bakery and placing the sweets on the display.
"Morning." I whisper, my voice sounding hoarse. Peeta opens his blue eyes slowly and looks straight into my gray ones.
"Good Morn… Katniss what is this?" He asks. I don't know what he is talking about, I made sure to clean my eyes so there are no signs of my breakdown, but apparently you can't keep anything from this boy.
"Did you even sleep after your nightmare?" he asks. I stay emotionless. I can't lie to him, but I also don't want him to know. Suddenly he stands up and picks me up from the couch, not even caring that we are both completely naked. Peeta carries me to the downstairs bathroom and places me on the cabinet. After getting some tissues and getting them wet with warm water, he starts to gently wipe my face. He hasn't said a word and his expression is completely blank. I feel so guilty for making him worry about me more and more each day, but what can I do if I'm still fighting against the demons and ghosts that surround me day and night?
Peeta touches the area under my eye and it makes me flinch. The small dots of blood on the tissue tell me that I ended up hurting myself.
"You have a small cut in here. I'm sorry." Peeta says. His voice sounds different, cold and distant. Once he is finished he picks me up again and carries me to the living room couch before making his way upstairs. I take this time to look for my undergarments; suddenly I don't feel as comfortable with Peeta as I used to be. He comes back fully dressed carrying one of his smallest shirts and a pair of sweatpants.
"Here" he handles me the clothes without saying another word and leaves. I put them on as quickly as I can and make my way to the kitchen where Peeta is. I sit on the table quietly, like a child who got in trouble. I wait as he prepares us a simple breakfast, trying to think of something to say. Once he is finished Peeta places my plate in front of me and sits down on the opposite chair to eat. I feel sick just by thinking about eating but I know that if I refuse it will only make things worse. I grab my fork and try bringing a piece of pancake to my mouth, but my hand is shaking violently. Suddenly, I hear the front door opening
"Good Morning" I hear Greasy Sae's voice calling. She walks into the kitchen, Haymitch on her tail.
"Good morning Greasy Sae. Hi Haymitch." Peeta greets. I try saying it back but my voice won't come out, so I just nod. I can see on their faces that they already noticed the mood between Peeta and me. Greasy Sae walks to me and gives me a warm hug, for which I'm very thankful.
"Is everything okay?" She whispers in my ear. I just shake my head and try to keep the tears from falling. I don't want to make a scene in front of everybody, I will have to hang on and wait until the right time to solve this situation with Peeta alone.
"So, we came here to talk to both of you about something." Haymitch says as he sits on the chair next to Peeta. Greasy Sae sits next to me and hold my right hand in between hers. Peeta nods for him to continue.
"I know that it may not be something you two want to talk about, but we are running out of time." I already know what he means, and it makes my chest feel tighter. "I know you said you didn't want anybody else involved in this but….District 12's new head peacekeeper, Colonel Cristobal, is a old friend of Sae's and we thought that it would be a good idea to have him on our side." My mouth falls open, how dare him to tell anybody about my life without telling us first?
"Look children, I know that it may seem very invasive but you have to consider that we cannot do justice with our own hands. We needed a better plan if we are going to punish Gale for what he did. I promise you can trust Greg, he will never tell anybody about this." Greasy Sae says. I don't know what to think about it, they had no right to do this. But, on the other side, it means that Peeta will be safe.
"So the plan is, I know you said that Katniss was not allowed near Gale but there is no other way. He is up to setting a trap to catch Gale in the act." Haymitch explains. I can see the look of disapproval in Peeta's face; this is not going to be an easy task to accomplish.
"There has to be another way. Who knows what Gale could do to her? There is no way I'm letting her meet with him." Peeta says.
"Look Loverboy, I know you are all worried about her, but this is the only way. We are all going to be alert and waiting, plus there is a head peacekeeper on our side. Neither us nor him will let anything happen to Katniss." Haymtich affirms. Peeta shakes his head; I know that there is no way he will agree to it.
"Look boy, I talked to Greg about this and he said that you will be the head coordinator for the entire plan. You can always be around her, we are not leaving Katniss alone with Gale." Greasy Sae tries. Peeta sighs.
"So you are saying that I can be close all the time?" Peeta asks.
"Yes you can! You will need to be careful not to be seen or noticed. But you can follow her every step."
"I still don't like this idea."
Suddenly all eyes fall on me, including Peeta's.
"What do you think about this Katniss?" Haymitch asks. I just shrug my shoulders.
"If you two agree, we can bring Greg here tonight to explain exactly what we are going to be doing." Greasy Sae says.
"But you two better decide fast because Gale will be here in less than a week." That soon?
"I think it won't hurt to hear what the Colonel has to say. Just give me and Katniss time to think about it and decide." Peeta asks. Both, Greasy Sae and Haymitch, nod their agreements. "Would you guys like some breakfast?" My boy with the bread always so polite.
"No thank you kids. We are going to head out and leave you two to talk about all this. Please consider that this will be the only plan we have that won't put anybody in risk. You can be sure Katniss is safe." They both get up and Greasy Sae gives me a kiss on the head before they walk out. Now is just me, Peeta and the silence between us. I haven't touched my food much, so it startles me as Peeta gets up and bring both our plates to the sink, not bothering to wash them. He walks back towards me and wraps his arms around my torso, picking me up. He hugs me so tight that I have difficulties to breath, but I will never let go.
"I love you, so much baby. I'm not mad at you, it's just that I get so worried sometimes and it affects the way I behave. When I saw the black spots and blood under your eyes I blamed myself for not staying with you, and taking care of you. I'm so sorry, I thought after we cuddled back against each other you would go back to sleep." Oh my sweet boy…
"Please don't apologize. I was just scared and I needed some time, I'm sorry for worrying you. I love you too Peeta, I was afraid that you had stopped loving me." I whisper, my voice is not stable enough and I'm trying to save air so I don't have to pull away from this hug.
"We are healing Katniss, we have our moments and that's why we need each other so much. I will always be here whenever you need, doesn't matter the hour." He starts kissing my neck slowly and I let myself open a smile. I feel like a heavy weight was lifted from my shoulders. "Let's take a shower and then we will talk about all this, okay?" he asks. I just nod. He brings one arm behind my knees and stars carrying me to his bathroom upstairs. I can't say that I'm totally in peace, I'm afraid for what is to come with Gale, but I will be okay if I have my dandelion with me.
Here we go again. I hope you guys liked it and please let me know as a review your opinion. I don't ask for reviews so my story can be popular, I just want some critics and ideas. Thank you for reading and expect the next chapter soon. See you next time.