When the Commander pushed the door open to the Nightblood's dormitory the first thing she noticed was that the positioning of the beds had been shifted. Several beds were now lined up in a row on the far wall, stripped of their furs and pillows, four beds. One for each of the recently deceased children.
Those beds that had occupants were configured in a small rectangle on the other side of the room. Only 5 beds. But there were still 6 Nightbloods. Lexa glanced around the room searching for Perseus' bed. She eventually saw it in the very far corner of the room. Pushed against the cold dark stonewall, blankets still rumpled from when he rose the morning he killed his fellows.
No guard had been in the room, nor had Lexa, or Titus. This shifting of lay out had all be done on the remaining Nightblood's own accord.
"Heda." Nepa was the only child present in the room but as Lexa looked at her she saw she seemed much less of a child than she had three days ago. She was aged, just over 14 years and there was darkness in her eyes that seemed to have replaced the spark that had previously lit up her face. The girl closed the book she had been reading on her bed.
Lexa looked around the room again.
"We felt as though we needed a change of scene." Nepa said rising from her bed. "The room felt empty."
Lexa nodded. "Where are the others?"
At this Nepa shrugged. "Off on their own, training perhaps." She looked at each of her comrade's beds and sighed. "It's been hard Heda. We don't really know what to do. It feels as though there are holes in each of us."
Lexa nodded and placed a hand on the girl's shoulder. "I understand more than you could possibly know." She said giving the girl a squeeze.
Nepa nodded, appreciating the support, then she turned to the Commander. "What have you come to say?" She asked folding her hands behind her back. So much like Lexa.
The Commander looked to the cold bed in the far corner. "Perseus was released today, once the healers have finished inspecting him he will be returned here."
Nepa took a step from Lexa. "The traitor will be returned to us?" The girl's eyes were cold as ice.
"He is a Nightblood." Lexa said staring down at the girl. "He is of equal right to be here as any of you."
Nepa and Lexa stared at one another for a long time. So many words passing through them, words that they could not say for what was required of them in the public's eye.
"He has however lost his left hand." Lexa said breaking the silence that had befallen them. "It became infected."
"Pity." Nepa said. The Commander nodded and crossed to her bed, picking up the book she had been reading. "Pity he wasn't left handed." The Nightblood added quietly.
"Why are you reading this?" Lexa asked, gesturing to the large book entitled Hedas. It was the historic text that documented all that could be remembered of each Commander since Becca's arrival in the dark days.
"I was curious." Nepa stated.
"Curious about what?" Lexa said replacing the book where she'd found it.
"I wondered if this had ever happened before." Nepa stared at Lexa. "A situation like the one we find ourselves in."
"You could have asked." The Commander prompted, the spirit of the Commander granted all knowledge and history that each Commander before her had lived. It was in fact her job to ensure that the text before her was compiled properly
"I felt it wasn't the time, Heda." Nepa said sitting on her bed.
"It has happened once." Lexa said sitting next to Nepa. "Near the beginning of the Commander's reigns. When the laws of the conclave were still being written." Lexa shut her eyes, searching for the information she'd so recently visited. "One Nightblood took it upon himself to forgo the conclave and slaughtered his fellows while the current Commander still reigned."
"All of them?" Nepa's eyes grew wide.
"Yes. The Nightblood in question succeeded in slaying the entire class."
"What did the Commander do?"
"Nothing." Lexa admitted. "The Nightblood was left unpunished, as it is forbidden to spill the blood of the Commander."
Nepa clicked her tongue against her teeth. Lexa nodded
"That Nightblood became Commander in the later years." Whether through natural causes or assignation was left unknown. His name was Atticus."
At this Nepa laughed. Atticus was known for being the cruelest of the Commander's. He reign had been short but in his time as Heda he took so many lives and started so many wars. He was remembered a barbarian who created such conflicts that two generations struggled to achieve some form of peace after his death.
"I never knew that was how Atticus achieve Heda's spirit." Nepa admitted.
"It is one of the many bloody secrets hidden throughout his life time." Lexa nodded.
It was at that moment that the door to the dormitory opened and Burke and two of his fellows entered dressed in their armor, sleek with sweat. Panting from a training session they must have held themselves. Lexa hadn't had the time or will to train them for the last few days. They hadn't objected.
At the sight of the Commander they abruptly stopped their conversation and stood at attention.
"I've come to inform you that Perseus will be returning to you this evening." Lexa said gazing at each of them.
They offered her limited reactions to her words. Ones eyes grew wide, while another's lips tightened. They all nodded respectively to her.
Lexa exhaled, knowing she needed to say something to them, but not what. The events of the past few days had taken its toll on all of them. But they couldn't let it show. Heda could never let his or her emotions get the better of them. That was how mistakes were made. She knew the flame helped with that. It was almost as if when she willed it to the spirits of the past Commanders took her emotions and sometimes even her memories from it. Which made it easier to lock people out.
When Lexa had spoken to Clarke earlier in the day she had expected there to be at least a slight tugging in her heart but was proud to have felt nothing.
It was a wise decision to have the girl leave. She had only brought weakness and misery with her.
"It is unfortunate what has occurred this last month." Lexa said looking at the children, who with each passing day and each loss looked less and less like children.
"But know that this is the world. The world of the Commander is a hard one, full of loss, and challenges. But what is to be remembered is to always stand firm. You are the rock in the storm that your people must cling to when the waters are rough. If the rock breaks, if the boat has a leak, all will drown."
"Thank you Heda." Nepa said placing a hand on one of her younger kin's shoulder, giving Lexa the distinct impression that she had just been asked to leave. Narrowing her eyes at each of them she gave them a nod and left the room.
They all knew what the future held.
XXXXX
Clarke watched as the healers scrubbed at the floor and wooden chopping block. Their rags and buckets of warm water dark and murky. She had come to notice that the black blood of the Commander seemed almost thicker and less easy to clean than regular human blood.
She had thought she would take some form of pleasure in seeing Perseus maimed but now looking across the room at his huddle pale form she felt cold inside.
Her rage, her sorrow, her pain, anything she had truly felt seemed to have faded away when she watched the boy's hand be removed. Heard him scream, like a baby, like Becca had.
Clarke shut her eyes tightly and her hands clenched the sides of her bed, turning her knuckles white. Trying to repel the memory from her head. She felt a hand on her shoulder, probably her mother's.
Abby had been sitting next to Clarke for the last hour; the two had been entirely silent for that time. Abby reading, Clarke staring off at Perseus or in space, or dozing. But whenever Clarke's emotions fought to escape her again Abby would squeeze her good shoulder, or hold her, try to sooth her.
Clarke was grateful for it. She was certain she'd get stuck in her near hysterics without it. But she knew it wasn't truly what she needed. She needed Lexa. For it all to better she needed Lexa and Lexa needed her.
Then Clarke thought of it. She was Lexa's support. She was whom the Commander turned to on those rare moments of emotion. She was the Commander's rock. Though she could never tell a living soul that.
But Lexa had shut down again. She wasn't letting anything or anyone affect her but they still shared feelings for one another but Lexa's wall was in the way. Clarke had been thinking all this time that she needed to completely destroy or scale Lexa's wall to get back to her, but no all she needed to do was crack it. Give it a small hole and all of Lexa's emotions would escape. Know she just needed to be given an opportunity to do it.
Suddenly the doors to the infirmary opened and two guards strode in. For a moment Clarke feared they were coming to escort her out, that Lexa was already banishing her from the city. But instead the two burly men made their way over to Perseus who sat up shakily. He was cradling his stump of an arm, which was bleeding, slightly through his bandages.
"Heda had said it is time for you to return to your dormitory." One guard gruffed.
"But… Butt." Perseus stuttered raising his injured arm.
The guard glanced over at the nearest healer.
"You can take him." The woman shrugged. "If he hasn't thrown up or passed out yet he won't."
"Good." The guard said, nodding to his fellow and the roughly pulled Perseus to his feet. The boy groaned.
"Time to go home." The other guard sneered.
XXXXX
When the door to the dormitory opened all Nightbloods stopped their conversations and stood at attention. Wordlessly they all watched the guards drag their fellow in and drop him roughly to the ground. Perseus instinctively reached out both hands to catch himself but instead put all of his weight on his fresh stump. He howled in pain and the guards, dusting off their hands left without a word or even helping the boy to his feet.
None of his fellows helped him up and Perseus' heart sank when he saw they'd moved his bed to a solitary corner. Feeling all of their eyes on him, he limped over to his bed and sat down.
The moment he sat the other Nightbloods continued on with their activities of getting ready for bed. Chatting lightly. Not paying him even a side glance.
Feeling tears stream down his face, Perseus struggled to pull the blankets out from his bed and slid under them.
"I'm sorry." He mumbled, knowing they all had heard him. But no one said a word to him.
After a few minutes all the children had settled in their beds and Nepa blew the final candle out.
"Goodnight everyone." She said blandly.
"Goodnight" they echoed.
"I'm sorry." Perseus said again, knowing it was no use. Their bridge had been broken.
XXX
Perseus felt as though he'd only been asleep for an hour or two when he started awake. Confused as to what had woken him he looked around. Nepa was standing next to his head on one side. Burke on the other. Silently the two lunged forward and flung a bed sheet across Perseus' throat. Together they pulled down with a tremendous amount of force effectively cutting off the boy's airway.
Perseus sputtered and gagged, flailing his arms trying to knock the two away but their strength was relentless. All around the room the remaining children stayed in their beds. Whether they were awake or not no one could tell. Regardless not one made even the slightest movement as Perseus' choking sounds slowly faded away and silence filled the room once more.