Chapter Thirty-Eight: Sacrifice

"Do you think he'll forgive us?" Willowclaw asked as they walked.

"Who?" Icepetal replied, still looking over her shoulder at her kits. Heathersky was looking after them for a little while; Rainpatch's mate was enamored by the tiny bundles of fluff, especially the one named after her late mate. She had the white tom-kit caught up in her tail, Rainkit squealing in glee. A soft smile spread over Icepetal's muzzle. She loved her kits so much, more than she ever imagined she would. It certainly helped that those little lives she had carried had helped bring her and Willowclaw together again; that, and Cyrith. "Eaglestrike?"

He nodded. "We weren't there for him when he needed us the most. We failed him as friends."

"I don't know, Willowclaw. We didn't even know he was struggling. Shiverlight didn't even know something was wrong," she said.

"We've known him longer than she has. I just...he let Crimson take him. He was so weak that he couldn't even fight back and I can't help but think that it's my fault," he murmured sadly.

Icepetal frowned and nipped at Willowclaw's ear. "It's not just your fault. It's mine, Tornheart's, Arrows, and Shiverlight's fault. It's a little his fault too. He never came to us, never spoke to us. We aren't mind readers."

"When he really needed me all I was doing was hating him for driving us apart. I would have killed him and been happy about it, you know?"

"No, you wouldn't have. Besides what he did then I'm still mad at him about," Icepetal grumbled. "He had no right to say those things even if you should have said them long before he did."

"I'm still sorry about that," Willowclaw said quietly.

Icepetal purred, "I know, and I've forgiven you. We both did awful things, said terrible things. I hope you know I'm sorry too?"

"I do."

"Good."

The middle of the Isle was missing the usual chaos they had all become used to; frantic mentors training their apprentices, young warriors learning the ins and outs of war from the seniors, Tornheart drawing out the best of Sunrise's power. It was quiet today. A rest was needed, a day to pretend nothing was wrong and they were all just normal warriors living normal lives. It was hard for Icepetal to look out over the frozen river towards SnowClan and not want to head back to her old home. But it was no longer her home, hadn't been for moons. Her home was with Willowclaw, with the Chosen. Wherever they were she would be too, regardless of what happened when Crimson struck.

Willowclaw was babbling on about his kits again. His eyes had gained that familiar sparkle they always had when talking about them. He could, and would, gush about them from dawn till dusk if anyone let him. They were his pride and joy. She couldn't imagine how pleased he was to have them, how happy Crimson's champion was to have brought something good into the world. Long ago he had done terrible things under her orders. But that was when he had known nothing else but blood and death. Looking at him practically glowing with happiness, Icepetal found that she couldn't see any trace that he had once been Crimson's greatest soldier.

Pebbles shifted under their paws, cold and coated in frost. On the frozen river played the apprentices. It brought back memories of her apprenticehood. There had been some cats back then that hadn't held her blood against her. Being rogue hadn't meant anything to them. They had played like that, laughing and shouting under a warm sun. Sunrise looked happy and that was all Icepetal had ever wanted for her: to be happy. She deserved to be a normal apprentice once in awhile.

"Come to enjoy the peace?" Shiverlight called in greeting.

"While it lasts," Willowclaw grinned. Tayce and Jay leaped at him, loud voices demanding stories. He let them clamber all over him till they settled on his shoulders before asking what story they wanted to hear, and as always they wanted to know about the great battle with Crimson as they called it. Shiverlight watched them fondly.

Icepetal settled next to her. "Did you ever imagine any of this when you first met us?"

"The kits are a surprise," she snorted. "Honestly I never thought I'd see any of you again after the city battle. I certainly hadn't planned on travelling to the valley."

"What made you do it?" Icepetal asked.

"For the first time I had a litter that had a father who wasn't dead, about to die or bad news. I wanted them to have a father - and I missed Eaglestrike," Shiverlight admitted.

Icepetal laughed. "He certainly left an impression on you."

"He was the first Clan cat I'd met in a while that didn't make me want to rip their throat out," she replied. "I'm glad meeting him ended up with me here. As much as my old Clans ruined me, they were still Clans filled to the brim with loyalty and family. I've missed that." There was a sadness in her eyes, one that grew when her eyes fell on Alvar. The tom-kit looked the most like Eaglestrike.

"We'll get him back, Shiverlight. I promise."

She sighed. "I'm not an idiot, Icepetal. War comes with sacrifices. If I have to give him up to save the lives of everyone here...then I am more than willing to do that, even if it kills me. Maybe I was never supposed to have a happy family."

"Don't be ridiculous," Icepetal snapped. "Even without Eaglestrike you will always be family to us."

"You know, when I first saw you all together I thought you were just another bunch of weird Clan cats that though they could change the world," Shiverlight said.

"What do you think now?"

Shiverlight huffed out a breath and smiled. "I've watched you change the world. I might not have been with you but I was watching when the moon finally turned white again. I suppose not every group of heroic Clan cats is just all talk."

"You're part of that weird bunch of Clan cats now," Icepetal jested.

"Isn't there an initiation or something?"

"The initiation is spending more than few heartbeats in Willowclaw's presence without boxing him over the head."

"Hey! I heard that!"

"You were supposed to."

If they lived in another world, or were living a different life, perhaps the peace would have continued to stretch on throughout the day. They would have talked and played with the kits till the sun went down, then dragged the apprentices off the ice for some much needed sleep. But they didn't leave in another world and they weren't living another life. So, instead of prolonged peace, Eaglestrike appeared through the trees flanked by the Elementals and two wolves. He opened his mouth and screeched Sunrise's name. Screaming echoed it. War erupted.

Icepetal shot to her paws and into the trees on the Isle. Her kits, her kits, where were her kits? Where they safe? She could hear and scent the other wolves invading the Isle. Was Heathersky rushing them into the roughly built nursery? That wouldn't keep the wolves out. That wouldn't keep anyone out. She'd left Shiverlight behind struggling to get her own kits to safety.

"Willowclaw!" she shouted. He flicked an ear, a sign that he was listening from where he raced along beside her. "Go back and help Shiverlight!"

He looked at her in shock. "But our kits!?"

"I'll look after them!" She knew he wanted to argue, could see it in his eyes, but instead he nodded fearfully and turned around. The trust between them had grown back twice as strong, and Willowclaw knew she wouldn't let anyone touch their kits and get away alive.

Breaking through the undergrowth surrounding the middle of the Isle, Icepetal ran headlong into the flank of a silver wolf. He swung his big head around, jaws dripping blood, eyes filled with excitement. A throaty chuckle rumbled free and he lapped at the blood staining his muzzle. When he spoke his words were thick and nearly indistinguishable. "Sit still, little kitty, and I might make it hurt less."

Icepetal arched her back and snapped, "no."

A cruel smile bared awfully sharp teeth. "Suit yourself," he laughed, "I like dinner and a show." He brought those sharp teeth together once more, whiskers away from where Icepetal's had had been, in a loud snap. At the same time he brought a huge paw buffeting down on her back sending her sprawling.

She didn't give him time to snap at her again, lurching back to her paws and swiping at his long muzzle. Silver fur turned red. He yelped and jerked his head back, rubbing at the claw marks. His murky grey eyes narrowed. "So it's a fight you want?" he growled. "Then it's a fight you're going to get." His next strike was quicker and harder than the last, paw catching her on the chin. Stars flashed across her vision, and her head rang. Blindly she reared back and lashed out, claws glancing through thin fur. "Do make this a little harder, okay?"

The stars faded from her eyes and Icepetal pulled her face into an ugly snarl. He had yet to spill any blood whilst his was stained on her claws. She'd show him what happened to wolves that stumbled into Clan territory. Think of it like fighting a fox. She slipped under his head when he lunged forwards, throwing herself onto her belly under him and sinking claws into his stomach. A really big, hulking fox. He shuddered above her, red splashing onto her face. Scurrying back out from underneath him she whirled around to meet him head on, tiny cat against monstrous wolf. Actually, maybe think of it like fighting Padshiy. All that did was bring back memories of searing pain and days spent drifting far from her body. Maybe not.

She wasn't quite quick enough the next time he pounced. Teeth dug into the side of her head, grip loose but still tight enough to draw blood. Screeching she wriggled and writhed, scouring angry lines down his face. His grip tightened. Padshiy flashed before her eyes. Not again. Not now. Not ever. Regardless of the pain she knew would come, Icepetal tore herself free from his mouth. His teeth left a trail of fire across her head, one that dripped red into her eyes. "I don't have time for this!" she yowled and threw herself at him. Her teeth met his throat and savaged it. Before she could bite all the way through and kill him, he tossed his head back, dislodging her and narrowly saving his own life. Gasping and spluttering he gave the blood-spattered warrior one last glance before scurrying into the forest, tail between his legs.

Icepetal spat blood from her mouth. "You won't be eating anyone today," she muttered, then turned on her heel in search of her kits. War surrounded on her all sides, hauntingly similar to the battle in the city. Except this time towering wolves leered down at them. She just hoped no one died. There was no one she held a grudge against anymore, not even Aspenthorn. They'd all need each other when it came time to rebuild the Clans. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Willowclaw and Singe wrestling with a dark wolf. Part of her wanted to run to him, to help him, to be by his side. But she'd promised him she'd look after the kits.

She ducked and weaved around the chaos, nipping and scratching at the wolves she passed. The kits, where were the kits? The den was only a few foxleaps away when Visha, the last of Amory's Nobles that had stayed - the few left had abandoned the Clans in a confused mess after Amory had left them - crashed into the ground at her paws followed quickly by a grinning she-wolf. Her fur was pitch black and riddled with scars, her eyes a ferocious shade of yellow, and her grin so cruel it could have matched Crimson's. She had Visha's leg in her mouth blood spilling from it. The little Noble was shrieking.

Ducking into a crouch, Icepetal leapt for the wolf's back, making it just and scrabbling the rest of the way on making sure her claws were out. The wolf let go of Visha with an offended huff, head twisting round to pin Icepetal with a dirty glare. "I was busy," the she-wolf whined, reaching out a forepaw to press against Visha's haunches. He flinched, blue eyes stretching wide.

"I do apologise," Icepetal sneered and dug her claws in a little deeper. She felt her quiver. Her smile grew.

"You smell like those kittens I ordered Kisari to take," the she-wolf said.

Icepetal felt her blood chill. A nauseating fear settled in her stomach. No. "What kits? What did you do with the cat guarding them!?"

The wolf laughed. "Dragged her off too. Though I suppose Jhani just dropped the little cat off and raced back into the carnage. Excitable wolf that one."

"Where are they?" Icepetal caterwauled, dragging her claws up to the wolf's neck. Blood beaded in the slices left behind. "Tell me!"

"I'm going to, no need to get so angry," she replied. "Through the trees back there, probably on the ice. We're saving them for later."

Icepetal was launching herself off the wolf's back before she was even finished talking. She didn't take into account that she was leaving Visha to fend for himself. All she could think about were her kits out on the ice with a bloodthirsty wolf. Had they already killed Heathersky? Had they already killed the kits!? Panic was slipping into her, tightening across her lungs. Each breath was practically a wheeze. She slipped in a thin puddle of blood, knees catching the rough ground, skin flaying. The pain wasn't important. Get the kits, get the kits, the kits, the kits, the kits. So absorbed in her panic she didn't see Willowclaw until she tumbled into him. The two rolled, a mess of limbs and surprised noises. Landing on her back Icepetal stared at the canopy in a daze. How had it come to this? She'd let her kits down. She was supposed to protect them.

Faintly she could hear Willowclaw talking. She used his voice to drag herself back to the present. His fur was dusted in blood. "Are you okay? Icepetal? Look at me." Whatever he saw in her eyes frightened him. "What's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that!?"

In a heartbeat she was back on her paws. "The kits," she said, voice hoarse. "They took the kits." Behind them came a familiar shout of pain: Shiverlight's. "Go help her, I'll find the kits."

"No!"

She didn't stick around to convince him, thrusting her way through the dense forest, panic fuelled adrenaline pouring into her veins. If her kits were dead...the thought was maddening. They couldn't die. They had barely begun get to live. They'd survived the Elementals, they could survive this. Not for the first time she wished Cyrith was still around. Both he and Willowclaw seemed to want the world for her and right now she needed the both of them.

The further she got from the middle of the Isle the quieter it got. Till she saw the forest thinning and picked up hissing and snarling. Was Heathersky still alive? Panting, she burst out of the forest and onto the stony shore. Her breath caught in her throat. Her kits were on the ice, mewling and crying, little bodies shaking. Crouch protectively in front of them was Heathersky, a queen protecting kits. Blood dribbled from her mouth and her body was trembling. Taunting and provoking her was Kisari no doubt; effortlessly lanky, a shade of gray precariously close to black. Lying on the ice nearby beaten and bloodied, Aspenthorn was motionless.

Above them the sky was pitching in colour, sunhigh blue turning to moonhigh black. Sunrise. Whatever the apprentice was doing, Icepetal hoped it would bring this battle to a very quick finish. She skidded onto the ice, lip curled, ears pinned flat. "Get away from them," she snarled.

Something like recognition lit up in Kisari's ice-blue eyes. "You must be the mother," she said, "so nice to meet you. Your friends here were doing a wonderful job of looking after your kittens." Her light smile dropped into a dark one, "any later and you'd be stumbling upon quite a few bodies."

Icepetal didn't let the wolf talk anymore. She rammed into her side, teeth and claws ripping into skin, and shoved her over. They slammed down onto the ice, Icepetal biting at her shoulder blade. Kisari's claws ripped ribbons from her side. She ignored the pain, wriggling higher up Kisari's body till she reached her neck. Kisari rolled, pinning Icepetal against the ice. Spots fluttered across her eyes as Kisari pressed harder against her throat. I won't die here, not today. Twisted, she bit down on Kisari's leg till she felt bone splinter. A howl echoed across the ice, Kisari stumbling off Icepetal. She held her foreleg against her chest.

"We weren't told to expect a fight," she grumbled like a petulant kit.

"Bit stupid of you to believe that," Icepetal spat.

She took her eyes off Kisari to check her kits. A mistake she could not take back. While she worried over them from a distance, eyes searching for wounds, Kisari lunged forwards, claws skittering on the ice. Icepetal had no time to move or even prepare herself. Sharp teeth plunged into either side of her spine. A cry of pain burst free accompanied by a splatter of blood. Kisari hummed a pleased noise around her mouthful, and lifted Icepetal off the ice, teeth sinking just a little deeper. A pained whine slithered into the air.

Heathersky's cry of, "Icepetal!", went unnoticed. The hunter was too focused on its prey, and its prey was struggling not to cough up anymore blood. Again Padshiy flickered before her eyes, brutish and terrifying, cold eyes staring her down. She could practically feel his hot breath rolling over her, death whiskers away.

"Oh, I am not quite done with you yet, little cat," Kisari growled and threw Icepetal.

She skidded over the ice, stopping only when she reached Heathersky. Beneath her the ice was turning red, stained by the blood leaking from the puncture wounds. A gentle paw came to rest on her shoulder. "Icepetal," Heathersky said quietly, "is it bad?" There was a waver in her voice; fear of what would happen should Icepetal die. Groaning, Icepetal shook her head. A lie. It felt like her entire body was breaking apart. Her legs trembled as she climbed unsteadily to them, vision wobbling. For her kits so would lay down her life.

"If...if I don't make it," she said to Heathersky, "look after them."

"Please don't say that," Heathersky whispered.

"Promise me."

Heathersky, trembling like a leaf but still standing strong in front of the kits, nodded. "I promise."

Satisfied, Icepetal turned back to the wolf. She was watching the exchange curiously, head tilted, faint smile playing at her muzzle. "You know, I almost feel bad about killing you," Kisari commented. "Almost."

"Come on then." A little further up the shore Willowclaw spilled out onto the pebbles another wolf - white-furred and bulky - following after him. "Kill me." All she had to do was buy some time for Heathersky to get the kits away. Let Kisari play with her for a bit. She could do that. For her kits she would do that. Everyone would understand the sacrifice. A mother's life for that of her kits. Not exactly the way she'd imagined herself dying but it was certainly noble.

Kisari moved and Icepetal closed her eyes. Would it hurt? Nearly dying to Padshiy had been excruciating. Kisari would make it hurt twice as bad; she seemed like that kind of creature. She sucked in a deep breath expecting those teeth to meet her flesh at any moment.

But the moment never came.

There was a wet sound. Warm blood sprayed over her face. Someone choked out a gasp of pain.

But it wasn't Icepetal.

She flung open her eyes to meet Aspenthorn's, whiskers away, beginning to glaze. His face was pulled tight, grimacing against the pain. Kisari's teeth were buried impossibly deep in his neck. A noise of disgust emanated from the wolf's throat and she dropped him with a huff. His blood lapped at Icepetal's paws. Her heart jumped into her throat.

"No. No, no. Aspenthorn!" she cried.

Blood gurgled up from his throat as he tried to speak around it. "You...you are twice the warrior I could ever be," he said weakly, bloodstained smile twitching at the corners of his muzzle.

"Don't. No. Stop, you're not allowed to do this. You're supposed to hate me!"

He shook his head. "I was wrong." A watery breath shuddered free. His body went limp. His eyes rolled.

"My mistake," Kisari interrupted. "Shall we try that again?"

Aspenthorn had just given up his life to save her. The warrior that had spent his entire life supposedly hating her. A grief tainted by anger boiled beneath her skin. She would not let his death be for nothing.

Kisari had no idea what hit her. She smacked into the ice, head rebounding off it with a sickening clack. Dazed, skull split, she could only stare up at Iceptal. Her claws glinted in the dull light, coated in the blood of enemies and lost Clanmates. Something dark and unforgiving flickered in her cold eyes. "There's an old law," Icepetal said slowly, "that says a warrior does not need to kill to win battles."

"Oh?" Kisari sounded hopeful.

Icepetal gave her a twisted grin. "Shame it's an old law." She flicked her paw and spilt the wolf's blood all over the ice.

Silence. Peaceful almost. Only the sound of her wrecked breathing and the careful dripping of blood on ice. They were safe. Her kits were okay. Heathersky was okay. Her eyes fell to Aspenthorn. A warrior true to the name.

"How entertaining." Her heart missed a beat. "I never imagined a bunch of cats could put up this much of a fight." The she-wolf from before lurked on the shoreline, the kits sitting in front of her. Heathersky was on the ground, eyes closed, flanks working weakly. Icepetal took a hurried step forward only to be stopped by a growl. "I'd stay right there if I were you. Take a look to your right."

Willowclaw. Pinned to the stones. Forced to look at his kits. Meaty paw with thick claws perched dangerously close to his throat.

"We're going to have a little fun," the she-wolf grinned. "Or, I'm going to have some fun. You're going to hate every minute of it."

"This isn't a game," Icepetal snapped.

She snorted. "It is to me. Did you actually think I was taking any of this seriously? It's a joke really. Your little group of cats doesn't stand a chance against my pack."

"I beg to differ," Icepetal seethed, flicking her tail across Kisari's lifeless body.

"Losses are to be expected," the she-wolf said. "Jhani, don't let that cat go."

The wolf pinning Willowclaw down, Jhani, nodded. "Yes, Dra'hira."

"Fantastic. Let's start. You have a decision to make, little kitty," Dra'hira drawled. "One that I would not make lightly. Your mate, or your kittens. You can only save one. Start thinking."

The world dropped out from beneath Icepetal's paws. How could she make that decision? How could she kill one of them? She couldn't lose Willowclaw and she couldn't lose her kits either. "No. Don't do this," she pleaded. "Please don't do this."

"Begging doesn't really do much for me," Dra'hira yawned.

"Save the kits, Icepetal! Save the kits!" Willowclaw shouted, wriggling in Jhani's grip.

She couldn't do it. She couldn't doom one of them. How would she live with herself? There was already so much death on her paws. Anymore and she'd vanish under it all.

"Perhaps," Dra'hira mused, leaning down, "you need a little motivation."

Icepetal was already slipping across the ice, desperate to reach her kits before the awful creature standing over them could hurt them. But she could only watch as the wolf picked quiet Littlekit up in her jaws and slam them shut around the tiny kit's neck. It snapped with a sound that could hardly be heard, but one that echoed through Icepetal's head on repeat.

Willowclaw's heartbroken scream only made it worse.

On the other side of the Isle a monstrosity of darkness and fire burst from the sky. Inside Icepetal's heart something cracked. The same thing she'd felt in her fight against Frozengaze, the pooling of power, the need to kill, it came rushing right back over her. Back then it had been brought on by the need to survive. This time it had been brought on by the need to destroy what had taken away part of her family.

Padshiy's striped form curled around her, huge and terrifying, giant head twice the size of her own body. Was this his power? He released a throaty growl that grew into a roar which shook the very ground beneath their paws. Gently he nudged his vaguely translucent head against hers, her body absorbing his. "For you."

She felt like she could move mountains. Like she could walk into the sea and never drown. It was an immense blast of power. Somehow she knew she would only get to taste it once. Once is more than enough.

Dra'hira had stumbled away from the kits, mouth slack. When she realised Icepetal was coming for her she tried to escape. A forepaw slipped on an uneven stone. She stumbled. Then Icepetal was there, raw power cascading from her, eyes a blue that lit up the sunhigh night they'd fallen into.

She fought clumsily, fear poisoning her. Her swipes were weak and glancing. Her teeth were blunt and useless. A great monster like her quivered at the cat standing over her, bloodstained, injured, practically standing side-by-side with death, a creature even more terrifying than the wolf queen moving with her. It tilted its great, striped head and in its eyes she watched her death, saw the cat slit her open from throat to tail.

"Please," she whimpered when she felt the first press of claws against her throat. "Please."

"Begging doesn't really do much for me," Icepetal purred, cold and cruel. She didn't stop till Dra'hira was cut open and spilling everywhere. Only then did her mind return to her, mildly disgusted at the gore oozing over her paws.

Willowclaw.

Jerking her head towards him she saw Jhani whiskers away from ripping into his throat. She stumbled on the blood soaked stones. He wasn't even scared when he looked at her. Instead he smiled, soft and loving, accepting of the fate he'd been delivered.

"No!" The shout came from the trees, from the brown body hurtling down the shore, clattering across the stones. It collided with Jhani, knocking the wolf onto the ice. A tremor ran across the frozen river. The bit Jhani landed on cracked and shattered, plunging the white wolf into angry water. He disappeared with a muffled howl.

The stranger picked themself up from where they'd landed and looked Icepetal in the eye.

She smiled so wide she felt her cheeks ache.

"Cyrith."