Phil finished putting his shoes on, rubbed his eyes and thought for a moment, just a single moment, that it was over and the crying had stopped, but within mere seconds he was once again inconsolable. A couple of joggers had jogged past him and given him strange looks since he'd planted himself there in the unfamiliar park. There was a sudden vibration in his back pocket, causing him to jump slightly, he pulled it from his pocket, adjusting his position slightly,
"Hello? Dan?" Phil's low voice spoke,
"Phil? It's Chris, where are you?"
"I um, I don't know. A park? Where's Dan?" he asked, flustered,
"He's in the shower. He went out looking for you last night and got caught in the rain, so I stayed with him to wait for you,"
"No… why would he do that?! Is he okay? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to cause all this trouble!" Phil tasted his tears in his mouth.
"He was freaking out, but are you okay?" Chris asked him,
"I'm, I'm fine."
"You don't sound fine…"
"I'm not okay, Chris," Phil admitted, "I'm not okay," he cried into the phone, looking around and praying that nobody could hear or see him,
"What's going on?" Chris was worried, this didn't sound like Phil at all,
"Nothing, I ran… I'm going to, um, get a taxi, okay?"
"How long will you be?" Chris asked,
"Maybe half an hour? I have no idea…" Phil said, "I'll see you soon." Chris heard Phil hang up and put Dan's phone on charge in his bedroom before coming back out and into the kitchen. He made some toast for himself, Dan and Phil while the kettle boiled. Dan wandered out to the table and saw it set for three,
"Did you… did you speak to Phil?" Dan's voice shook,
"Yes, I did. He's on his way home and should be here in about 5 minutes, okay?" Chris explained, handing Dan a cup of coffee. Dan sat down across from Chris and rested his elbows on the table, using his hands to hold up his head, the toaster popped and Chris stood to get the final batch of toast. The flat was quiet and eerie for a moment, and then Dan heard keys. He pushed himself from the chair, flinging it back and onto the floor and bolted for the door, Chris heard the loud crash of the chair and practically threw the plate of toast onto the table and followed the blur that was Dan, stopping at the top of the stairs as Dan continued to the door, stopping just before the bottom step as the door slowly opened, and there stood Phil.
Dan wrapped his arms around Phil's thin frame the second the door was open, he pulled himself back and took a moment to study his face. His hair was a mess that looked as though Phil had attempted to fix, his face was flushed and his eyes sunken, his right eye encased by a large ring of purple and black. He was bruised. Dan looked down at Phil's body, his shirt was wrinkled and half untucked, and he could see another bruise emerging from beneath the sleeve of his shirt. Dan stopped. He had a million questions; where had he been? What happened? Why was he bruised? Why didn't he answer him?
"Are you okay?" Dan's voice sounded timid and scared, Phil nodded and stepped inside, closing the door. He walked up the stairs, past Dan and past Chris and into the bathroom, locking the door. He looked at his face, noticing his black eye for the first time, it explained a lot. He took off his shirt and saw another bruise on his arm, and on the left side of his ribcage. He stripped off and got in the shower, he felt so dirty and horrible. He knew Dan would have a million questions for him, and he just didn't know what answers to give. He couldn't lie to him anymore, but he couldn't tell him the truth. If Phil told Dan, or anyone else, the truth, he'd have to face it. He'd have to accept what happened and spend the rest of his life with that truth. Maybe, he thought, if he didn't tell anyone, it would be as if it hadn't even happened…
Chris had gone home. He'd hugged Dan, wished him the best and told him to give Phil his best before taking himself home. Dan sat on Phil's bed, waiting for him to get out of the shower, fumbling with Phil's Lion. Phil had probably missed his Lion. Phil entered the room in nothing but his towel and stood awkwardly in silence for a moment,
"Can I just have a moment to get dressed?" Phil asked. Dan stood up and nodded,
"Oh! Yeah, of course, sorry!" and took himself out into the hallway. After a few minutes of twiddling his thumbs, Phil opened the door, inviting him in,
"I um, I was going to come home last night. I had a bit to drink, and I fell asleep in the lounge room at…" Phil tried to explain,
"Aarons?" Dan finished,
"Yeah. I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking straight and I know that's not an excuse, but I'm very sorry, okay?" Phil said, holding the straight face he'd bared since coming home,
"I was really worried…" Dan confessed, "and angry. I'm so angry. I hate that you went to him. I hate it, Phil,"
"I know… It wasn't what I'd planned to do, but he came and got me and it just ended up that way,"
"So, um… you guys kissed that night? The night of the tattoo?" Dan hesitated, scratching his nose.
"Yeah, apparently," Phil said plainly,
"Phil, what's going on? You're not acting like yourself," Dan stated, looking Phil in the eyes, "You have bruises, and you… you're not okay,"
"I really love you, Dan. With all my heart, I really do…" Phil's face changed to that of grief and pain,
"But..?" Dan sighed,
"There is no but. Not that kind of but, at least. I do love you, with my whole heart, and I cherish you, Dan,"
"What has that go to do with your bruises?"
"I don't want to lie to you, I can't do that, but I can't tell you the truth right now either," Phil said, noticing Dan's face fall.
"You kissed him again, didn't you?" Dan sighed, looking down at Phil's bedspread. Phil gently ran his index and middle finger down the side of Dan's face until they were sitting softly under his chin, he lifted his face up so that his sore, reddened, blue eyes would meet with Dan's sad, soft, brown ones,
"I didn't kiss him," Phil said sternly, nodding slightly to ingrain the message in his head. Phil slowly leaned in, tilting his head, his two fingers holding Dan's face still, and tenderly pecked Dan's lips.
Dan smiled a little smile and Phil ran his thumb over his little dimple,
"I'm still upset at you," Dan breathed, leaning in again and violently kissing him, slipping his tongue into Phil's mouth and grabbing Phil's shirt, pulling him closer. Phil felt Dan bite down on his bottom lip, dragging his teeth until they no longer gripped his lip. Phil heard Dan's breathing deepen,
"Dan…" Phil whispered between kisses, Dan just let out a low moan, "What are..?"
"Shhh…" Dan let out, pulling Phil even closer and running his hand up and down his thigh.
"What are you do…?" he tried again,
"Phil, shut up," Dan's hoarse voice demanded, and Phil felt Dan's hand travel down to his lower back as Dan continued to kiss him, tasting his flesh and moaning deeply. Suddenly Dan pushed Phil onto his back and leaned over him, kissing his neck and flicking his ear with his tongue, while grinding against him roughly.
"You're really turned on by this, aren't you?" Dan's harsh voice spoke as Phil let out a quiet moan, and let Dan continue kissing his neck. Dan pulled his own shirt off of his body and slid his hands under Phil's top, running his cold hands down Phil's skin, and soon Dan removed his shirt too. Phil felt the weight of Dan on top of him, straddling him, feeling the hardness between his legs pressing against Dan's,
"Dan, stop…" Phil's voice became shaky as Dan's hands began to unzip Phil's jeans, "Dan, please…" Phil struggled against Dan and turned his head to the side, squeezing his eyes shut and continuing to whisper for Dan to stop.