Hey guy, Christmas is near and it's getting kinda crazy! It's freezing with frost/ice/hail and I'm hating it. Plus, Mum decided that right after school me and her hit the shops in Belfast. It was beautiful but cold and Christmas shopping is really, really hard when you're not sure what they'd like :/ so, through all the chaos, I've decided to add a chapter from my fanfiction, because I'M a nice person, see how much love is in my heart? HAHAHHA!

Gus' POV

"Daddy!" I ran up to my Dad.

"Stop!" Shouted my Dad, me yielding at his command. "Man up, soldier, when I'm through with you, not even you mother can correct you!" He yelled.

I was so confused.

"Stand straight!" Yelled my Dad. I put my feet together and arms in, sticking my chest out.

"Good lad!"

The teaching's of how to become a soldier took a long time but I enjoyed every minute of it, even if it was hard and confusing before I knew, I had learned my Dad's every command.

…

"Right left right left..." My dad called out as I lifted my feet and swung my arms in time, obeying his every command.

With the army, my Dad and I got really close. He was like my best friend, when he wasn't training me. He trained me because he knew I could have a good future ahead, one he can look upon at an old age with a proud smile, he'll say, "That's my boy!"

But he didn't live till an old age. He never did say, full of proud, "That's my boy!" My dad didn't even see what I made of my life, he won't know how I'll turn out in life, he'll never see me develop.

I remember the time I got real close to him.

It was when I was getting embarrassed with all the guys at P.E because I entered puberty early, but my Dad, sat down and explained how they'll all go through it some day.

The sex talk went good. Dad was just as awkward as I was. We both knew about it and knew the results. The only thing he told me was, "Son, if you plan to, make sure she's on the pill and you use a condom, in fact son, don't do it at all till the honeymoon."

I got close to him. I was able to talk 'man' stuff with him like, how to get a girl, to know if a girl likes you and to know when you've fallen far that one chick.

Yeah, I loved my Dad! I was never ashamed of showing him off or telling people I loved my old man.

But now I can't show him off, and I have no one to love.

I sat in my room, crying into my knees, shutting the world outside around me. It felt like I was surrounded by darkness, I tried to break free but I was held prisoner in this body. I hear the voice of people trying to get through to me. I screamed and run for them but I can't seem to find them, in the darkness.

I opened my eyes and take my head out of my arms. I looked around and saw the drugs. I've been taking them to get over my Dad's death. But nothing seems to happen. I grab a handful and shove them in.

"Gus?" My mom knocked as I swallowed the drugs. "Gus!" She screamed running at me.

She grabbed my arm.

"LET GO!" I yelled, loudly.

"No! Spit them out! You can't take that many, in fact, you shouldn't be taking them at all!" She slapped my back, making me cough them up.

I spat them out on the floor. They were the last of the drugs.

"You...you...BITCH! HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO GET BETTER YOU SPASTICATED JOKE FOR A MOTHER! ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME DEPRESSED? ARE YOU WANTING ME TO COMMIT SUICIDE!"

"Gus!" She tried to screamed. "I'm trying to help you! You are already depressed son, why can't you see, these DRUGS ARE MAKING YOU WORSE!"

I tried to called out, 'Mom, help me! I didn't mean what I said, I love you really, please forgive me, Mom, help! Don't give up hope!' but she shouldn't hear me.

"GET OUT!" Was what came from the lips of mine.

I need help. I need someone who'll never give up no matter what, someone who can get through to me!

But who? There was no one! No one at all who could help. They all tried, but all failed. I'm doomed!

And with the closing chapter...

we sleep once more!