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Outtake – "Forgive"
BB Timeline: Four months after the final chapter. Pre-epilogue.
AN: I promised – and I don't break my promises. :D And to deliver on that promise, here is a 10,500-word outtake (oops) because I heart you guys that darn much.
This outtake is specifically for Nat Rowe, whose idea and desire to see Embry and Bella's first big fight struck a chord somewhere in me. I honestly couldn't resist a prompt like that. Enjoy, everyone! :)
"Embry?"
Bella's voice filled the small living room, punctuating the silence as she stepped quietly through the front door of Embry's house. Scanning the empty room, Bella leaned her shoulder against the door, gently pushing it closed. Straightening, she ran her clammy palms over the crimson red sheath dress she wore, smoothing the wrinkles from the fabric.
She let her eyes sweep the room one last time. "Em?"
"In here." His strong yet quiet voice was clearer that time and Bella let her eyes fall, crossing the short length of the living room, the subtle heels of her shoes clicking on the hardwood floor.
Rounding the corner, she approached Embry's bedroom door, which was partially closed, obstructing her view. Reaching out, Bella slowly pushed the door open with her palms, leaning against the frame as it opened the rest of the way.
The setting sun streamed through the half-open curtains, bathing the tiny room in a warm glow. Embry sat on the edge of his bed, a determined yet annoyed expression screwing up his features as he worked on figuring out the tie around his neck. Bella let her eyes travel down his frame, taking in the white, long-sleeved dress shirt he wore and the neatly ironed black pants. Her gaze fell to his shoes, black leather, which despite the fact hadn't seen a lot of wear, bore slight scuffmarks on each toe.
She worried her bottom lip between her teeth, her insides warming as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.
"You look so handsome," she murmured genuinely, fighting a smile as she shifted her weight beneath her.
Embry looked up at her, fingers falling still, one eyebrow raised incredulously. "I had to borrow this shirt from Sam. I outgrew mine." He paused, his eyes flicking downward. "I feel like I'm going to a funeral."
Releasing her lip, Bella let her smile spread. "Well, maybe…but you still look nice." Using her shoulder to push herself from the doorframe, Bella let her arms fall to her sides as she approached Embry. His contemplative eyes followed, shoulders rising and falling from a heavy sigh the same time he stood up, peering down at her when she stopped in front of him.
"Let me…" she whispered, her arms rising again, fingertips grasping the ends of the tie on which he'd given up hope.
Embry nodded slightly, eyes anxiously darting over her shoulder. "I know how to do it – Mom taught me a long time ago – but I never really did get the hang of it."
"It's okay," Bella replied, looping the material around itself, her eyes never leaving her task. "Too bad the elders didn't make this casual. Can you imagine what Quil's probably gonna show up in?"
Embry chuckled, finally allowing a small smile, his eyes now watching her fingers move at his throat. "Yeah, well…this is kind of a big deal for Jake…and the tribe. I don't think anyone would appreciate it if the pack showed up wearing nothing but holey jeans."
"Probably not," Bella agreed amiably, her brow furrowing slightly as she concentrated. "You ever been to one of these ceremonies before?"
Shaking his head, Embry made a noise of dissent in his throat. "No family on the council…until now."
Bella swallowed, peering up at him, her hands stilling for a moment.
He called her a week ago. She'd been on her kitchen floor, knee-deep in bleach, sponges and her self-inflicted spring cleaning list at Charlie's when her phone rang.
Sam and Jacob had finally come to an understanding.
Listening intently, Bella had been silent as Embry recounted everything that was said in the pack meeting he had just left. Since their lives had settled down and everything was returning to some semblance of normal, Emily had finally talked Sam into setting a date for their wedding. Sam, however, didn't need much persuasion, telling the pack he was ready to begin his life outside of them. To lead another family. His own.
And he would be leaving the pack in capable hands.
Which was when Jacob stepped forward, exchanging a terse nod with Sam, before picking up where he left off.
Jacob would be taking over – taking his rightful place – as Alpha.
This wasn't a cause for concern, at least not in Bella's eyes. Since Jacob had stepped back from the war he waged upon returning to La Push, successfully starting to rebuild bridges between him and his pack mates, the decision wasn't hard to support. The pack knew, and Jacob had shown them he was serious on more than one occasion. Because of this, the foundation of trust they needed had already been put back in place. Now all Jacob had to do was allow it to grow. To flourish under his leadership.
Still, Embry was hesitantly quiet following the announcement, and it didn't surprise Bella in the least. Even though apologies were said – and, more importantly, shown – he and Jacob were still in the process of piecing together their fragile friendship. They were still coming to terms with the reality it was more than friendship now.
They were brothers, and learning to live a life intertwined with that truth had proved more challenging than anything else.
Especially for Embry, even if he rarely mentioned it.
Now, in a little less than an hour, Jacob would officially be appointed to succeed their father on the Quileute Tribal Council. He had turned eighteen two months earlier, and by deciding to step up as Alpha, the move embraced both his birthright and what was best for the tribe.
Embry had been invited to the ceremony, as well as the rest of the pack, their imprints, and a handful of family members. Normally, Bella would have been excluded from such a traditional affair, but Jacob had insisted she come, reminding the elders she was family as well.
Bella blinked, clearing the memories from her mind as she slid the tie knot to Embry's throat. "Well, you should definitely be at this one," she ventured softly. "This is big for the pack…for your family."
"I know," Embry answered, his lips curling up slightly, his eyes finding Bella's as her fingers moved to his collar, folding it down over the tie. "I'm glad you'll be there though."
It was her turn to smile, her hands falling from the tie, palms grazing over Embry's chest as she smoothed the front of his shirt. "Me too."
Bella took a deep breath the same moment Embry lifted his hand, covering hers where it rested over his heart. Looking up, she released the air from her lungs the same time he bent down, her eyes fluttering closed as he slowly pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was soft, easy, and Bella found herself leaning forward, letting her mouth linger against his, lips moving against each other with an agonizing gentleness. Taking their time. Breathing each other in.
Bella was smiling by the time Embry pulled away, resting his forehead against hers as she felt his hands move, his fingers now ghosting down her neck, her shoulders, and eventually her arms.
"You look beautiful," he whispered, the veiled desire in it sending a shiver through her body.
Her smile widened anyway, fingers curling into his chest. "You're biased."
"I'm not," he retorted, stealing one last kiss before taking a step back. Bella unwillingly opened her eyes, fighting a frown as he turned his back to her, fumbling with the buttons on his shirtsleeves. "But we should probably get going before I change my mind and decide you and me aren't leaving this room today."
Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, the frown on Bella's mouth was a distant memory. "That wouldn't be so bad," she murmured coyly.
Embry straightened, throwing a surprised glance at her over his shoulder, one eyebrow raised as if he was considering the possibility. Holding his gaze, Bella arched her own brow expectantly until he finally faced her, shaking his head as a laugh left his throat.
"Later," he finally said, reaching forward and taking her hand in his. "But right now, we gotta go."
"Damn, girl, where have those legs been all my life?"
Bella couldn't hold back her amused laugh as she shook her head, not completely surprised by the first words that greeted her when she and Embry walked through the main door to the Rec Center. Judging by the amount of bodies already scattered throughout the main meeting hall, they were two of the last people to arrive. Ignoring Quil's greeting for a moment, Bella let her eyes scan the room, fingers tightening instinctively around Embry's.
Old Quil and Sue Clearwater were already at the front of the room near the council table, talking amongst themselves as well as Joy Ateara and the other two sitting members. Bella noticed the pack's two newest members, Brady Fuller and Collin Littlesea, sitting on the far side of the row of chairs, watching everyone else in silence and curious awe. The pair had phased for the first time a little over a month ago when a nomad vampire had crossed onto Quileute lands, and this was the first unofficial pack function the two had been a part of since their change.
Bella found Sam and Emily easily, who were standing near the back of the room, having their own conversation with Rachel, who was nonchalantly leaning into Paul. He had his arm draped across her petite shoulders. As he talked, his fingers absentmindedly caressed her skin just below the edge of her dress sleeve, gravitating to her. Seth and Leah were already seated, a chair down from Jared and Kim, a miffed expression on Seth's face as he tried to swat away his sister's hand, which was picking something off the lapel of his jacket.
From what Bella could see, the only person missing was Jacob.
And then there was Quil, standing behind Leah and Seth, leaning lazily against the back of chair. He wagged his eyebrows, teeth showing in a wide grin, as his eyes traveled down Bella's frame and up again.
Her thumb brushing over the back of Embry's hand, they approached Quil and the others. Bella offered Leah a friendly smile as the older woman threw a glance over her shoulder.
"Oh, for god's sake, Quil," Leah muttered, rolling her eyes before turning back to face the front of the room. "Did you forget where we are?"
"That don't matter," Quil cut in quickly, bringing his hands up and running them down his blue sport coat. Embry snorted next to Bella as she appraised him. Quil had surprisingly not turned up in something inappropriate or ridiculous, instead opting for the coat and an ironed white shirt over dark wash jeans. Bella couldn't remember the last time she'd seen him look so clean.
Raising her eyebrows in astonishment, Bella smiled as Quil noticed her gaze on him. "I'm impressed, Quil." She motioned toward his attire.
Quil swelled with pride, his arms out and palms turned up like he couldn't help it. "Eh, my mom picked it out. Can't take too much credit. She may be old..." His voice drifted as he shot an anxious look toward the front of the room, making sure his mother hadn't heard his comment. "...but at least she's got good taste."
Bella leaned into Embry, reaching over with her left hand and closing it over their already clasped ones. "Well, you still look very handsome," she countered.
"Right?" Quil exclaimed, looking down at himself in amazement like she had said something he already knew. "Just goes to show you how good I can clean up." This time, he turned his gaze on his best friend, feigning suspicion as he let his eyes skeptically travel over him. "So whenever you decide to quit slummin' it with this guy..." Quil pointed a quizzical finger at Embry. "...you know I'll be waiting. To appreciate those legs, Bella."
Bella opened her mouth to retort, but Embry interrupted her, making an amused noise in his throat as he reached out with his free hand, clamping it onto Quil's shoulder. It took a moment, but Quil eventually wiggled beneath his grip, his smile drooping and his lips curling into an expression of mild discomfort.
"Keep dreaming, Q," Embry taunted, pushing Quil a little as he released him.
"Owww," Quil whined, his face screwing up. "Damn, man." He scowled at Embry, rubbing his shoulder tenderly. "You been working out? If so, keep it up, cuz fuck..."
Leah spun in her seat, her arm flying out to smack Quil, and Bella, Embry and Seth couldn't contain their laughter as Quil cried out, the blow landing smack in the middle of his stomach. He was grumbling something under his breath about the 'profanity police' when Bella turned her head slightly, the soft sound of approaching footsteps pulling her attention away from the spectacle in front of her.
"Hey, guys."
Glancing over her shoulder, Bella felt Embry's body tense slightly as he turned to do the same. The group fell quiet as she saw Jacob standing tentatively a few feet behind them, his hands shoved in his dress pant pockets, a small smile on his face.
Bella couldn't help but return it. Jake was also dressed in his best clothes. His black hair was trimmed and styled, his frame relaxed and features framed by the orange light pouring through the windows. While she hadn't seen much of him in the past few months, he looked different. His features exuded a certainty and a confidence she hadn't seen in so long. He looked at ease.
He looked happy.
Jacob's friendly smile lingered on Bella for a moment before he turned, meeting the gaze of the man beside her. "Thanks for coming," he finally said, nodding as he lifted his arm from his side, offering his hand to Embry.
Turning beside her, Bella peered up at Embry as he reached out, nodding in response as he clasped Jacob's hand in his and shook it. The gesture was amicable, but something about the stiffness in it grated at her insides.
Staring at where the two men were joined, copper skin blending seamlessly into copper skin, she couldn't help but wonder if it was always going to be like this between them.
Formal.
Distant.
A few moments passed before Embry released Jacob's hand, and Bella let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding as Embry took a step back. She could feel the palm of his hand as it instinctively sought out the small of her back, the heat from his fingers soaking through the material of her dress.
Bella leaned into Embry's side – a natural, placating reaction – but her eyes didn't leave Jacob's expression. His features were steady as they held his brother's gaze, waiting for a response. A word. Anything.
"Wouldn't miss it, " Embry finally murmured, his hand moving, fingers unknowingly digging into her hip.
Jacob smiled, but his gaze fell.
Distant...
"Of course we wouldn't," Bella spoke up, breaking the heavy silence between them. Going the extra step to do her best, to let Jake know they were trying as well. To let him know they wanted to be there and hadn't attended out of a sense of duty or obligation. "This is a big day for you, Jake."
Jacob's features softened minutely as he turned his gaze toward her. "Thanks, Bells. That means a lot."
Nodding, she wished like hell there was something else she could say. Something else to break this underlying tension.
But Jacob beat her to it.
"You two coming to dinner at Sam and Emily's after the ceremony?" he asked, eyes darting back and forth, shifting between her and Embry. "Sam spent the better part of the day roasting a hog for everyone, and Emily made pie...or so she says. That's if Quil didn't eat it all when we were over there earlier..."
Swallowing, Bella looked at Embry, who was still watching Jacob with a relaxed yet indifferent expression on his face. "That sounds fun..." she murmured, the words a response meant for Embry rather than an answer to Jacob's question.
Embry nodded, shifting his gaze over her head toward the council members before returning his eyes to Jacob. "Yeah, sure."
Jacob blinked several times, his head bobbing yet again. "Okay, well..." His eyes bounced to Bella before taking his turn seeking out the council members. "I better get going. See you guys later, hopefully."
Once Jacob was no longer standing in front of them, Embry moved away from her slightly, trying to hide it as his frame relaxed by just a fraction. As he let his guard fall. Bella stood still, her eyes glancing out the window closest to the Rec Center doors when she felt him move back, his lips moving against the top of her head.
"We should probably sit down," he whispered.
Nodding, she allowed Embry to lead her around the back of the last row of chairs, his hand once again in hers. Emily, Sam, Paul and Rachel were heading the same direction as Bella walked ahead of Embry into the row, smoothing the back of her dress before sitting in the chair next to him.
The other four took their places in the front row, facing forward, until Rachel shifted in her chair, her eyes immediately finding Embry.
"So I missed your birthday..."
Turning her head, Bella glanced at Embry, whose gaze fell to his lap, a smile playing on his lips before he looked back to Rachel. One eyebrow raised in surprise before it dropped just as quickly. "It's okay, Rach."
Scoffing, Rachel rolled her eyes. "No, it's not okay. I missed a lot of your birthdays, and I'm not gonna miss any more..." Her hand rested on Paul's shoulder, who snuck a glance and a quick grin at her before turning his gaze back to the front of the room. "I got you something."
Biting her lip, Bella fought the smile that desperately wanted to spread, her eyes taking turns between watching Rachel and Embry.
"You didn't have to do that," Embry murmured genuinely, his onyx eyes now studying Rachel with an appreciation he couldn't quite seem to find for anyone else in his new family. Not yet.
Sighing, Rachel shook her head in exasperation. "I know I didn't have to, but I did...so it's too late. I already bought it. It's at the house." She cocked one eyebrow, almost like she was challenging him. "You should come by one of these days and get it."
"Sure," Embry ventured, his thumb absentmindedly rubbing circles against Bella's back. "I can do that."
"You better," she retorted, pointing at him with a playful, menacing expression. "And you two better be coming to dinner tonight." This time she looked at Bella, her eyes wide and insistent.
"We will," Bella chuckled, her eyes peering over Rachel's shoulder to see the council members taking their seats and Sue Clearwater slowly rising to her feet.
With a triumphant nod, Rachel flashed a wide grin at the two of them before turning to face the front, leaning into Paul's arm as it found a home draped across her shoulders.
Looking down at their clasped hands, Bella nudged Embry with her shoulder, smiling when he peered down at her. Reaching up with her free hand, Bella pushed a piece of hair back from his forehead, which had fallen loose from the rest of the carefully swept back strands.
"Love you," she whispered almost inaudibly.
One corner of Embry's mouth crept up as he leaned down, leaving a quick, soft kiss on her mouth before pulling back, sneaking one on the tip of her nose. She laughed when he fought a smirk, straightening so he was once again facing forward.
It was one of the few times since she met them the entire pack was silent as Sue Clearwater welcomed everyone to the ceremony. Her greeting was friendly and brief, and Sue kept it to the point, reminding everyone why they were gathered that day before handing the ceremony over to Old Quil.
Sue took her seat, replaced by Quil's grandfather, who had slowly made his way to stand in front of the small audience. Jacob was seated in a single chair beside the council's table, his hands clasped tightly in his lap, one knee bouncing slightly as he made a conscious effort not to chew on the side of his lip.
No matter how ready Jacob claimed to be, Bella noticed just by watching him it didn't change the enormity of the moment. The importance of it, and what it meant for him, his family, and the rest of the pack.
Old Quil turned toward the eyes watching him, his lips parting and his voice sweeping through the room as he began to re-tell the tribe's history. Every person in the room listened intently to his words, and although he was nowhere near the storyteller Billy Black had been, his voice was enough to captivate them all.
The old man shifted effortlessly from history to legend, regaling them once again with the origin of shapeshifters within their tribe as well as the story of Taha Aki and the Third Wife. Bella remained still throughout the story, even though it wasn't the first time she heard it.
When Old Quil reached the end of the tale, he lowered his head before turning to Jacob. The old man reached out, palms facing the ceiling, motioning for Jacob to stand. Jacob's shoulders rose and fell with a calming breath before he did, turning to face his elder.
Bella relaxed her grip on Embry's hand, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. He wasn't watching her, his eyes fixed intently on what was taking place at the front of the room, his expression unchanging.
"And now it's your turn, Jacob Black – to take your place. To govern this tribe. To preserve its past and secure its future," Old Quil continued in his gravely, aged baritone. "But more importantly, it's your turn to protect it. To lead the spirit warriors of this generation, as your great-grandfather did before you. To honor his legacy. To honor your family – your father, your mother, and your sisters by embracing your birthright."
Bella's breath caught in her throat as the elder spoke, at the two words he didn't say. Her heart pounded in her ears when Embry shifted uncomfortably next to her, his eyes falling to his lap and his hand tightening around hers.
Between her fingers, she could feel his blazing. Trembling.
Taking a deep breath, she lifted her other hand, placing it over his. Trying her best to calm him without words. But she couldn't tear her eyes from Jacob who, despite the man speaking in front of him, still met her glance for a split second.
Noticing the missing words as well.
But before anything could be said, Old Quil spoke again.
"And as the leader of our tribe's protectors, your blood will make you strong. Your blood will make you wise and powerful. You will lead by example, and all those here today will follow you, as they were meant to. They will put trust in the Black name, also as they were meant to. A privilege bestowed only to you. A blessing brought upon you by generations of your forefathers."
Jacob's lips parted slightly, but Old Quil swept through his words, transitioning to the traditional oath taken by incoming council members. Bella watched as Jacob blinked, clearing an unknown haze from his mind before turning his attention away from those in the chairs and back to the man in front of him. He took a deep breath, shoulders squaring as he pushed everything else to the back of his mind.
Right now, his duty came first. His obligation to the tribe and its members.
Everything else was important, but it would have to wait.
Still, Bella could feel Embry's tense muscles beneath her fingers, not realizing her hand had moved to his forearm. She couldn't speak, the words of the council oath overtaking everything else, echoing off the walls of the meeting room.
Holding her breath instead, she tilted her head until her cheek rested softly on Embry's shoulder.
The ceremony concluded minutes later with little fuss, and when voices finally spoke and bodies slowly rose to their feet, Bella looked up. Nothing seemed out of place. No one else seemed to notice, and if they did, nobody made it apparent. As she scanned the front of the room, Bella's eyes pulled to the right, instantly finding Jacob as his sought her out despite the people between them. His features were heavy, his expression anxious as he held her gaze, his head shaking slightly.
And suddenly, Embry's hand was no longer in hers, the heat next to her gone.
Blinking rapidly, Bella tore her gaze away, looking over her shoulder in time to see Embry standing beside his empty chair, looking down at her with an intense, foreboding glaze in his ebony eyes.
The shiver that ripped its way up Bella's spine left her insides cold.
"You ready to go?"
Distant...
It took a moment before she nodded, smoothing her shaky palms on her dress before rising to her feet. Embry didn't wait for her this time when she stepped toward him, didn't take her hand as she followed him across the room, pausing only to acknowledge Quil and continue past him despite the step his friend took toward him.
Bella wasn't sure when the knot in her throat showed up, but she tried to swallow past it as she caught Leah's curious stare from where she stood. She hadn't missed Embry's abrupt exit. Leah raised one eyebrow in Bella's direction, causing her footsteps to cease where she stood.
"What's wrong with him?" Leah asked tentatively, taking a couple steps away from the chair, her gaze piercing through Bella's.
"I...I don't know," Bella stammered, the words untrue. She could tell by the skeptical glare Leah was giving her that she wasn't fooling anyone.
"Huh," Leah nodded. She pursed her lips before throwing a glance to the right. "You might want to catch Call and find out then. Looks like he's already on his way out the door."
One look toward the main doors to the Rec Center confirmed the other woman's words, causing Bella's lips to fall into a deep frown as Embry disappeared through them to the street outside.
"Damn it," Bella mumbled, throwing another quick look at Leah. "I gotta go. I'll hopefully see you later, Leah, okay?"
"Yeah, yeah," Leah replied, waving her off as she stooped to grab her clutch from under her chair. "Go make sure he's not gonna throw himself off the top of James Island or something."
"Not funny, Leah!" Bella retorted, calling her out on her sarcasm, but the woman was already behind her as she approached the front door and opened it, not bothering to close it as her feet hit the concrete steps outside.
"Bella!"
She was halfway down the short sidewalk to the road when the familiar voice pulled her gaze over her shoulder. Jacob was standing in the doorway, his eyes on her before refocusing on something else, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed.
Bella looked back the way she was going to see Embry standing beside her car, leaning against the open door, his hands tightly gripping the top of it. He didn't get in, and he wasn't looking at her.
He was simply waiting.
Taking a deep breath, Bella turned halfway, her eyes falling back on Jacob.
He shook his head again, causing her stomach to jump anxiously. "I'm sorry, Bella..." he whispered. "I didn't know that's what Old Quil was gonna say, I swear I didn't." His gaze faltered again, eyes pleading as they searched Bella's for any figment of understanding. For her to recognize what he was saying and to know he hadn't played a part.
Swallowing again, Bella could feel her feet instinctively take a step back. "I gotta go, Jake..."
Jacob's shoulders slumped dejectedly as he watched her, several moments passing before he nodded too. "Bella, please..." he pressed on quietly, beseeching her for any sign he hadn't screwed up. That this wasn't going to take everything he'd done the past four months and grind it into dirt.
But Bella didn't know. It wasn't her answer to give.
Still, when she drew in a sharp breath, she held it for a moment before nodding anyway. "I know..." she admitted, offering him the smallest smile she could.
His features visibly relaxed before he allowed himself to take a step back. "Will you tell him that? Please?"
Bella couldn't stop the sigh that escaped her lips, but she let her head bob. "Thanks for inviting us, Jake." With that, she turned, letting her feet carry her the rest of the way down the path before turning toward the car. Her eyes fixed on Embry, who met hers for a split second before his frame disappeared into the car.
Leaving Jacob, Old Quil, and his lack of words behind.
Bella quietly climbed into the Mustang, the silence inside it thick when she pulled the door closed behind her. Leaning against the window, she watched Embry's hands as they turned the key in the ignition before reaching to the shifter and putting the car in reverse. Bella's mouth dried as the vehicle moved out of its parking spot faster than it normally would, jolting beneath them as Embry quickly slipped the car into drive.
The silence remained. As the car drove away from the Rec Center, Bella knew he wasn't going to be the first to speak, even though he really didn't need to. She already knew what was wrong. She'd memorized that smoldering intensity in his eyes, the way he flexed his fingers in and out of fists to calm the simmering inside him, the way his muscles tensed to keep control.
All of which he was doing as he navigated the road leading through the heart of La Push.
Wringing her fingers together in her lap, Bella finally ventured a glance at Embry across the distance separating them in the car. It felt like miles. Outside, the sun had almost completely disappeared behind the tree line, leaving little light surrounding them. Still, Bella could now see the pained, frustrated look on his face. It fueled the growing knot in her stomach, and she could feel her hand lifting, finally reaching across the space until it brushed his thigh.
Somehow, she managed to sift through the words in her mind, coming up with ones she hoped would be enough.
"You gonna tell me what that's wrong?" Bella murmured shakily.
Embry's lips parted and after several long moments, he shook his head, eyes trained on the road ahead of them. "I don't know what I was thinking," he muttered, blinking frantically, still refusing to look at her. "I don't know why I thought this would be any different..."
Bella swallowed thickly, letting her fingers drift over the smooth material of his pants. "What do you mean?"
Jaw tensed, Embry's fingers shook as they tightened around the steering wheel. "I was afraid something like this was gonna happen...or not happen, I guess I should say," he continued, his voice low and agitated.
The mass in Bella's stomach ached fiercely with his vague confirmation. It didn't matter what else he said – it was crystal clear to her what had upset him.
"The whole time," Embry pressed on, leaning one elbow against the door and rubbing his forehead with his thumb and index finger, "I thought maybe...maybe the council would say it. Especially tonight. That maybe they'd acknowledge..." His voice drifted as he squeezed his eyes shut for a split second before opening them, vaguely focusing on the windshield as he shook his head wildly. "Nevermind...it's pointless anyway."
Bella's hand stilled, her head tipping forward as she took a deep breath, trying to catch his eyes. "Embry..." she whispered. "It's not pointless. I think everyone's still getting used to it, you know...the idea of Billy being your father..."
"It's not an idea, Bella," Embry shot back, his head jerking, glaring at her from the driver's seat. The anger in his eyes, the frustration trained on her, made her mouth fall open and the words on the tip of her tongue disappear. "It's a fact. A fact no one acknowledged for years, and fact they still won't acknowledge even now, in front of everybody, even though they already know..."
The blunt throbbing in Bella's chest was familiar. She'd felt it a handful of times before, only months earlier with her knees pressed into the earth as Embry let out a lifetime of questions and insecurity. While he wished things had been different. That his father hadn't died before he spoke the words. Before he could acknowledge Embry.
And in this case, Bella knew she couldn't disagree with Embry. Jacob had done it, but the tribe had not. The tribe had yet to speak the words their father never did.
It was all he wanted, and they'd refused him.
"I'm sorry, Em," Bella whispered, releasing the only words from her lips that might matter.
"It doesn't make a difference," Embry spat out, letting his hand fall back to the wheel. "My last name isn't Black, so it doesn't matter. All they're worried about is honor, so they'll never say it..." Embry swallowed thickly, his lips pulling into a frown. "Jake'll never say it."
For a moment, Bella closed her eyes, the words pulling at something else inside her. These were different. These were unwarranted.
Will you tell him that?
Please?
Bella took a deep breath, holding it in her lungs, fingers trembling as she released it. "That's not fair, Embry," she ventured, almost dropping her gaze when his suddenly turned on her, a flash of anger in them she barely recognized.
"What's not fair?"
Bella's heart pounded in her chest, but she pushed the words out, unsure of how he'd react. Everything between the three of them – her, Embry, and Jacob – was still so fragile. They still had farther to go before things would be okay between them, and these words felt like they should stay in her mouth where they belonged.
But they didn't, because in the split second before she spoke, several images flashed behind her eyelids. Embry's veiled hesitation to go to the ceremony. The distance between him and Jacob as they shook hands, offering each other the barest of pleasantries. The anger in him now, the hostility he still held for his brother, drawn out by nothing but an assumption.
It broke Bella's heart all over again, remembering how she wondered if this would ever be over. If he would ever forgive Jacob.
If he would ever forgive Billy.
Because if he couldn't let go – if he couldn't move forward – none of them could.
"That you're blaming Jacob for this," Bella finally said, the words barely audible. "He didn't know what Old Quil was going to say. He didn't know he was going to leave you out, Embry. Do you really believe that?"
He scoffed, and Bella hated the look in his eyes. A flash of justification marred by the fact somewhere deep down, he knew she was right.
But she wasn't prepared for what he was going to say next.
She wasn't prepared for that justification to overshadow everything else, to cloud those kind eyes she'd come to count on.
"You would say that..."
Bella's mouth fell open in astonishment, breath leaving her before she could register what exactly it was he'd said. Closing her eyes again, she shook her head absentmindedly, trying to think of some kind of response.
When she finally opened them, her eyes caught Embry's and she didn't miss the flicker of regret as it passed through them.
"Why...why would you say that?" she stammered, willing him to look at her as she felt the car slow. Embry drew in a deep breath as he turned the steering wheel, his stare still focused on the windshield. "You know...if he'd have known, he would have said something."
Embry's jaw tightened. "Then why didn't he?"
"I don't know," Bella admitted as the car rolled to a stop. "But you know he didn't do it on purpose."
"I don't." Embry shifted the car into park, his hand curling around the gearshift. "And I don't get why you're defending him, but I'm guessing you know more than me since you're the one he came out to talk to..."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Bella blurted out, unable to hold back the scowl as it overtook her expression.
His stare fixed on his hand encircling the gearshift, Embry shook his head, igniting another flame of anger inside Bella. They'd been through this. They'd overcome this, if nothing else, and she didn't understand why he was using it against her now when it hadn't mattered in so long. When it was no longer something he should be allowed to think.
"Nothing," Embry muttered. "Nevermind."
Speechless, Bella shifted and glanced out the windshield for the first time since they climbed into the car, instantly recognizing where they were.
"Why did we come home?"
The noise Embry made in his throat agitated Bella even more, and she frowned as she saw the little brown house in front of them.
"I'm not very hungry," Embry mumbled, unbuckling his seat belt and throwing open the Mustang's door before Bella could protest.
Mouth agape, the slam of the car door closing echoed through Bella like a gunshot. It took her a moment, her eyes following him as he approached the house's front porch, leaving her sitting inside the vehicle.
But each step he took pulled at her until her fingers were fumbling, legs scrambling as she managed to find the door handle with a shaky hand. She barely got the door closed before she was after him, refusing to let him put any distance between them.
He wasn't going to walk away. Not now. Not like this.
By the time her feet were planted firmly at the bottom of the porch stairs, Bella watched Embry's retreating figure for a moment as he pushed open the front door. As he shoved the small key ring in his pocket, still refusing to wait.
The words tumbled from her lips before she could stop them.
"When are you going to stop punishing him?"
Embry's frame froze, one hand still clasping the doorknob. Chest tightening, Bella stood her ground, refusing to regret them. And even if he asked her to, she knew she would not take them back.
"Punish him?" Embry's voice was almost a growl before his body slowly turned, and as he faced Bella, she could see his hands trembling slightly. Because of her. Because of her words. "Because I owe him so much, right?" The sarcasm in his tone was foreign and cutting.
"Embry," Bella pressed on, "you don't owe him anything, but you still need to forgive him, even if you never forget."
Embry's Adam's apple bobbed as his eyes faced off with hers, neither of them budging. "I have forgiven him."
Shaking her head, Bella released the breath she was holding. "You haven't."
"So, what then?" Embry took two steps forward, the bitterness in his voice twisting at Bella's insides. "I should just forgive him because he's Jacob Black and that's what people do, Bella? Because that's what you do?"
Crossing her arms in front of her chest, it was almost too much, the words still coming from a place she'd never felt as her shoe toed at the dirt beneath it. She could feel her patience wavering, the knowledge of how to deal with this new territory in their relationship completely out of reach. "That's not what I meant..."
"Then what did you mean?"
Tightening her grip on her forearms, she swallowed, trying to come up with the best way to say what she really did mean. "He left, Embry, I get it...and when he came back, he did a lot of things that weren't very easy to forgive, but the point is he's trying." Desperation leaked into Bella's voice with each word, as she grasped to the hope that he'd understand what she was trying to say. "And he's doing what he has to...he's given up what he had to so you'd know that, but for some reason, you still can't stop punishing him."
Embry's body was still as he let her words soak in, one by one, his conflicted gaze still attached to her. He blinked, lips parting in frustrated dismay, brows pulling low over his eyes.
"What exactly has he given up for me, Bella?"
Opening her mouth, nothing came out. The words already weren't forming right, because she could hear the implication beneath his. What he thought she meant by what she said.
"That's not what I meant and you know it," she whispered, even though there was a hint of truth to it. A sacrifice Jacob did make to end the fighting. Stepping aside. Letting go of her. Allowing them all to move on.
Something he had done for Embry, in addition to himself. Regardless of what any of them thought.
But in this moment, she feared Embry wasn't going to see it that way.
And it didn't make any sense to her.
"I don't understand why you're so angry with me," she breathed.
Embry's mouth fell open, a look of frustration plastered on his features. "Because you're making excuses for them, Bella!" His gaze fell, hands lifting as they pushed through his hair. "And I'm so fucking sick of excuses! Excuses for why they didn't say anything then, excuses why they don't say anything now." He dropped his arms, his stare now fixed intently on her. "And even if no one understands why this bothers me as much as it does, I at least thought you would."
"I do understand!" Bella exclaimed, taking a step forward, her arms reaching out defensively. "But Jacob is not them, Embry. He's not his father...he's not your father."
Embry fell silent, his body unmoving as his shoulders rose and fell. Desperately trying to maintain control, to not let this anger he rarely showed – a latent frustration Bella had somehow managed to not notice while he silently processed all this – get the better of him.
But it couldn't stay inside. It needed to be said, even if she desperately wanted to close her mouth. Hating what was happening in front of her.
"When is this gonna stop?" Bella pressed on, her voice quavering. "When are you going to let this go, Embry? And see what the people who matter...your family...are already trying to do?" She held her breath. "You say you're mad at Jake, and maybe you are, but you have to stop. You have to stop being angry, or we're not gonna make it past this."
Maybe she didn't see it right, but in that moment, Bella swore she saw all hints of anger and frustration fade from Embry's face as what she said sunk in. The defeated expression on his face pulled at Bella, and she felt an unwelcome and unwanted sting in the corner of her eyes.
"What are you saying?"
Bella reached up, swiping the moisture away as it threatened to fall, brought on by the veiled sadness in his voice. "I guess what I'm saying is...I've forgiven Jacob, Embry. And I think it's time you forgive him too." Her breath was ragged as she stopped to inhale, trying not to look at Embry just before releasing the rest of her words. "And that you stop being angry at Billy...that you stop taking it out on Jacob...and start remembering that you do have family here...now...that loves you, no matter what the elders say."
That was it. There was nothing left for her to say. Despite it all – despite the fact she didn't know what he would say or what he would think or how he would react – Bella had told him how she felt. What she worried about, and what she feared would happen if the distance wasn't closed.
So she waited, her eyes searching Embry's as he searched her words.
"Okay," Embry looked away, his feet suddenly moving as he walked toward Bella. His abruptness jarred her, one arm reaching out just slightly. To stop him if she could.
"Go ahead and go to the party. Tell them I'm sorry I'm not gonna make it..."
The words were enough to knock the breath from Bella's lungs as she stumbled back a step, missing him completely as Embry stepped around her, brushing past her carelessly.
Just out of her reach.
"Embry?" She let her arms fall to her sides, closing her eyes and forcing herself to take a deep breath. Hoping like hell he would stop. That he would turn around, wrap his arms around her, and tell her that's not what he meant.
"Embry!"
But he didn't respond, the sound of his lithe footsteps falling on soft dirt the only noise in her ears.
Disappearing completely by the time she opened her eyes.
Embry's house was completely quiet, save for the gentle splashing of dishwater. She hadn't left, and now Bella was doing her best to keep her mind off what happened earlier.
But it didn't matter.
Despite her attempt to stay busy, doing work that didn't belong to her, the words she said – the words Embry said – ate at her resolve and negated her distraction, running on a constant loop in her head. They'd disagreed before but not like this.
Never like this.
She went back and forth in her head for hours. Struggling with whether or not to apologize when he came home. For overstepping? For not understanding? For telling the man she loved how she felt? She wasn't completely sure.
Still, beneath the anxious worry, a part of her felt like she didn't need to apologize. She had meant what she said to him. Jacob was past the point of intentionally trying to hurt him, and in the grand scheme of things, the council didn't matter.
And he needed to stop punishing Jacob for Billy Black's mistakes.
He needed to let go, if only a little, and try to find a way to live with a truth that wasn't ideal, but was still true all the same.
Yet a part of her understood.
A part of her knew Embry had let his insecurities, the past, and what happened between him and Jacob before get the better of him. It was a hard pill to swallow, what he was expected to come to terms with, and another part of Bella knew she couldn't blame him. It came from the same part of her as the distant, niggling voice, reminding her that maybe she should have been more patient. More understanding.
That she should have stood up for Jacob a little less and stood by Embry a little more.
Because no matter what, it didn't negate the way Embry felt.
But it didn't void how she felt either.
So she stayed busy. It had been two hours, and she was still standing there. By herself, with no idea where Embry went. She waited, robotically sweeping the dishcloth across a plate, swallowing the lump in her throat. Embry's mother was working a late shift at the diner in Neah Bay, and Bella knew she'd appreciate the help, even if beneath it all, Bella hadn't done it for her.
Taking deep breath after deep breath, Bella tried like hell to calm the dull gnawing in her stomach. To ease the burning anxiety causing her fingers to shake and the plate to quiver in her hand.
To banish the small piece of her that thought maybe she'd finally pushed Embry too far.
Suddenly feeling like she couldn't breathe, Bella's chest tightened, fingers curling around the rag in her hand. Eventually, she allowed it to fall into the sudsy water, palms gripping hard around the edge of the counter.
He had to come back.
He always came back.
But he hadn't. Not yet.
Suddenly, her points didn't seem so important, and I'm sorry were the only words on her mind.
But she couldn't keep standing there. Bella finally allowed her eyes to open, fingers digging fruitlessly into the counter as she drew in a deep breath. Pushing back, she moved to her left, letting the air escape her lungs in a rough exhale. Reaching forward, she cleared her throat, trying to get rid of the huge obstruction resting heavily in it, before gathering both her bearings and dry plates between her fingers.
She had to keep busy.
Yet when she moved, the fragile dishes tucked caringly between her body and her arms, her breath left her all over again.
The front door opened slowly and Bella froze, suddenly unsure of what she should say or where her body should move. All she could do was watch, clutching tighter to the dishes in her hands, as Embry carefully stepped through the front door. His eyes cast downward, not meeting hers.
Also unsure.
He watched an unknown spot on the floor, reaching behind him to push the door closed. Bella swallowed, her heart pounding in her chest, an intense gratitude pouring through her out of nowhere. Causing her fingers to tremble, her skin crawling with an inexplicable desire to simply drop the plates and run to him.
But she couldn't move. She waited. Still. Her feet rooted to the ground, simply watching him. The way his face avoided hers, how his palms curled into fists at his sides. How his body held back.
Also waiting.
Almost like he needed permission to look at her. Permission to move.
A heavy sigh was the first sound to pierce the silence as it escaped Embry's body, and he finally allowed himself to slouch against the door. He brought his hands to his face slowly, rubbing it roughly before scrubbing his hands through his hair.
Moments passing, he let his hands drop, finally lifting his gaze. Meeting Bella's.
Her mouth fell open slightly at the haze in his eyes, the intense longing she hadn't seen in so long. She hated it, his eyes echoing how she felt inside. Uncertain, anxious, sorry. He shouldn't look that way anymore. She shouldn't feel that way anymore. They were past that.
And they would get past this.
The tension between them finally snapped, freeing Bella's body as she stepped forward, instinctively depositing the stack of plates on the kitchen counter without a word. Embry's eyes followed her as she moved, rounding the corner, her path effortlessly lining up with his.
Nothing was in between them, and she knew what she had to do.
She had to show him that no matter what he did – no matter what she said – she would not let go of this.
Bella watched his body straighten, eyes still locked with hers, tentatively taking his own step forward.
But she couldn't wait. Her feet moved before she could stop them – before she could think that maybe she mistook the look in his eyes for something else – the distance between them narrowing faster than it should have when Embry took another step toward her.
Bella didn't breathe as her body collided hard with his, arms curling tightly around him. His did the same, gathering her against him, breath leaving her in a hurried gasp. Clasping his neck, she felt herself being lifted, her limbs scrambling as legs found purchase around his waist. Burying her nose in the flesh between his neck and shoulder, Bella felt him exhale. A relieved, thankful rush of air that confirmed her worries were for nothing.
That he wasn't going anywhere.
But it didn't matter. She could feel her body tremble against his, the nervous energy caused by not knowing where he was and what it meant clawing frantically at her insides. Searching for a way out. Seeking solace from the only person who could give it.
Needing proof. A wordless apology.
Craving it from him, and aching to give it back.
Lips parting against his skin, Bella closed her eyes, biting down softly on his flesh.
Beneath her chest, she felt Embry's breath catch, his thick fingers weaving tighter through her hair. Letting her lips linger for a moment, she savored his warmth before he pulled her back. Before she turned her face to meet his, ignoring the way his fingernails raked desperately across her scalp. Before her lips forcefully captured his instead.
The need instantly resurfacing the moment she tasted him.
A low growl rumbled in Embry's chest, vibrating across Bella's skin as he pushed back against her firmness. Against the frantic, destitute way her mouth moved against his, her tongue sweeping across his lips. Clinging to him, she shuddered beneath the heat of his palms soaking through the back of her dress. As she felt him moving beneath her, his footsteps a distant echo in her ears.
And the reason they were here like this a distant memory in their minds. At least for now.
Pulling away, Bella gasped against his mouth, her hands weaving through ebony strands of hair. She wanted to say something but instead her fingers tugged, his moving to her waist as she dipped her head. Drawing his scent through her nostrils as her lips traced greedy patterns across the skin of his neck.
She held on, her mouth tasting the saltiness of his skin, when she suddenly felt a brief absence of heat. The lack of his arms around her, replaced by a solid surface beneath her.
Resting her cheek on his shoulder, lips parted and fighting to catch her breath, Bella saw he had placed her on the kitchen counter just next to the sink. But it disappeared from her view as her eyes fluttered shut, Embry's hands now burning on her thighs. As he pushed her dress up, caressing the milky white flesh beneath it.
As she clutched his shoulders tightly, leaning up, the fabric slipping over her hips to gather around her waist.
Bella's lips ghosted across the white cotton covering his shoulder, turning her face only to find his mouth once again on hers, stealing the breath from her body. Shaking with urgency, Bella's fingers fumbled blindly when she reached up, finding the button closest to Embry's throat. Effortlessly sliding it through the small hole. Her hands moved down. Another button followed, and another, her fingertips brushing hard, copper curves as they moved.
"Bella, " Embry whispered against her lips, his nails digging roughly into her waist.
"Shhh," she interrupted fluidly, the last button sliding out between her fingers, releasing the fabric as she allowed her hands to explore the body beneath it. Savoring flawless flesh, and drawing its heat into her body. Allowing it to spread through her veins until she couldn't remember a single moment outside of the one overtaking her.
Taking the shirt collar between her fingers, Bella forcefully pushed the shirt back, taking Embry's lower lip between her teeth as his hands disappeared from her, the shirt fluttering to the floor.
Embry leaned forward, Bella's mouth parting, tongue peeking out to wet her lips as he traced short, hot kisses along her jaw. His hands traveled over her shoulders, finding a home on her dress zipper. The muted noise is made as it was lowered pushed fire through Bella's veins, the fabric falling as she rocked forward, her own hands impatiently seeking out the belt buckle at Embry's waist.
As another zipper lowered, Bella reached beneath the waistline of black dress pants.
"I need you," she whispered, lips fluttering against his earlobe. A hand seeking out what she wanted, fingers wrapping around the proof of Embry's own need for her.
He shuddered beneath her hands, his back at her waist as thumbs hooked into the sides of her panties. She pulled back, arching her hips, allowing them to leave her body, sheer satin replaced by cool Formica beneath her thighs.
Bella's eyes locked with Embry's, his black and clouded with an intensity he saved for moments like this. A desire he held only for her. Bella's stomach clenched, his hands wrapping around her hips, pulling her toward the edge of the counter. Situating his body between her trembling legs.
Fighting to catch her breath, to contain the heat gathering in the base of her stomach, Bella felt the fingers of Embry's hand beneath her chin. They pushed with a surprising gentleness, and she let her head fall back, resting against the cupboard when his mouth sought out the flushed skin on her neck. Her lips parted when his pressed roughly against her flesh, his tongue soothing it. Tasting her.
Bella felt dizzy. Delirious. Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, she dug her knees into Embry's hips when she reached up, fingers curling around the cupboard door handles. Keeping her in place when she so desperately wanted to fall.
The moment her eyes closed was the moment he pulled her to him one last time, their bodies joining as he pushed himself into her completely.
Reaffirming that no matter what was said, this was where they belonged.
Embry's movements were rough, purposeful, proving he needed this too. That he needed her. That he needed to feel her heat wrapped around him. Bella shuddered at the feel of him moving inside her, pulling away before pushing harder. At the cool air on her bare chest.
At her body roughly hitting the cupboard behind her, even though she couldn't feel a thing.
Except for Embry.
Except for his hands splayed across her back. Except for his mouth on her temple, teeth dragging across her skin, his breath washing across her face. Pushing across her closed eyes. She couldn't hear anything, except his labored pants and the beautifully tormented whimpers escaping her throat as it all combined inside her.
Creating a fire, a burning in the base of her stomach, she could never get enough of.
It wasn't long, her body held steady in Embry's arms as it balanced on the edge of the counter. The fire licked at her insides, building, consuming as one hand released its purposeful hold on the cupboard door, wrapping around his neck. She pulled him closer, a perfectly tormented cry bubbling in her throat as she lurched forward, his mouth swallowing it completely as he pushed into her one last time.
The moment the heat exploded inside her.
The silence was back, but Bella reveled in it. Body reeling, she slowly came down to earth, her arms and legs still trembling as she clutched to Embry. As he pulled out of her, separating their bodies before she was ready. Her eyes still closed, she could feel his forehead pressing against hers, the air leaving him in the same way it was her – in rough, uneven breaths.
Swallowing, her body released one last shudder as she felt him push his fingers through her hair, gripping her face between large palms.
Bella opened her eyes to find him already gazing back at her, the lust dwindling, an intense sincerity taking its place.
Shaking her head, she couldn't help it when she leaned forward, kissing him one last time. A warmth, a security – the love she felt so completely – pushing a deliriously familiar tingle through her veins.
She took his bottom lip between hers before releasing it, kissing it softly, her fingers digging into his shoulders.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, the words releasing a weight that, until that moment, she had forgotten was there.
The corners of Embry's lips fought a smile, his forehead still glistening with sweat before he pulled her pliable body toward him. Enveloping her in his heat. She buried her face in his neck, and she could feel his heart racing against her lips.
His arms were sure and steady. Like they always were.
"Don't," he whispered. "Don't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong."
Bella pulled back unwillingly, releasing him long enough to situate the top of her dress on her body, putting it back where it belonged. "Neither did you," she murmured, leaning forward again and taking his face between her palms.
He shook his head, his gaze flitting toward the countertop. "I was an asshole to you, and you know, Bella...that's not me. And I shouldn't have left."
"It's okay," Bella chuckled, brushing her nose across his cheek, fingers twisting through his hair. "Just don't do it again."
It was his turn to laugh, leaning forward on his hands and turning his face, capturing her lips in a swift kiss before releasing them. "And I kinda had to come back...to tell you you were right."
Bella pulled back slightly, her hands falling to his shoulders, watching the genuine expression pull his lips into an apologetic but steady smile.
One she'd know anywhere.
"I'm not trying hard enough, even if it's harder than hell some days to forget...to let go, like you said," he continued, one hand lifting, the back of his fingers tracing her jawline. His eyes keeping their magnetized hold on hers. "But I need to do better. For me...but also because I don't want to disappoint you."
Bella shook her head, reaching up to capture the hand on her face in her own. "You're not gonna disappoint me." She let a smile spread across her lips. "I just want you to see that I'm not the only person who loves you, Embry."
"I know," he whispered, turning his hand to take hers. "And I'm sorry...for not believing you." This time he smiled at her, the gesture igniting the simmering fire still lingering in her veins. "So will you forgive me?"
Bella let the fire pull her, leaning forward again, nodding as she pressed her lips to his. Accepting his apology. Solidifying her own as his mouth moved gently against hers.
He barely pulled away, mouth still smiling as she felt his fingers tuck her hair behind her ear. "So..." His breath was warm on her lips. "Think they saved us any pie?"
Taking a deep breath, Bella pressed her forehead to his. "Probably...unless Quil's still there," she answered, a quiet laugh escaping her throat. "Then we don't stand a chance."
She felt his blazing fingers curl around hers.
"Then we better go find out."
AN: What did you all think? I've missed you guys!
Also, just a heads-up – BB has been nominated for a few Non-Canon Awards. Voting closes tomorrow should you guys want to show the story or all the other awesome nominees some love. Go to thenon-canonawards. blogspot. com (just take out the spaces).