Claire's Pov:
I can't get him out of my head! I know it's wrong because I'm with Ryan now and Shane broke my heart but I just can't help it. A part of me is telling me to move on with Ryan, Shane will only break your heart again but then another part is telling me to forgive him, to take him back…why is my life so hard? When I saw Shane in my hospital room I was filled with anger and joy, I told him I wanted him to leave but deep down I craved his presence; I needed him to be with me. Him just being there calmed me down, made me forget the pain I was in and then Amelie came in. I suppose I can't exactly blame her, I'm almost like a daughter to her and she wants to protect me but when she had Shane up against the wall I hated her; I wanted to rip her away from him, dragging her out of the room by her all too perfects blonde hair…I don't even know how I restrained myself. I agreed to let Shane back in my life and I was actually happy about my decision…Ryan on the other hand was pissed, not only because I said I'd keep him updated but because Shane kissed me. He wouldn't even speak to me after that, because I didn't 'pull away', I mean come on the guy shows up after months and kisses me; I was in shock, cut a girl some slack already!
I'd gone down the studio yesterday just after I was released and signed the papers, they gave me a timetable for practise and when I'm fully recovered I have to get down to some serious training. My life has changed so much in only a couple of months, I'm getting bigger each day, even grumpier and they still don't know why I collapsed; I'll get the results back late next week, I wish they would be ready sooner because I don't think I'd be able to handle the pain again, or if anything happened to my babies. I'm going for my first scan tomorrow and Becky's coming with me seeing as Ryan's still giving me the silent treatment. I'll then have to send Shane a copy of the photo…and shit! It still haven't told my parents, fuck my life…maybe I could send them a photo too, with 'sorry mum and dad but I'm pregnant…with twins x' written at the bottom? No I can't do that, they'd kill me…no jokes. I'll definitely phone them tomorrow, I'm just too tired to do it now. I pulled back the covers and slipped into bed, pulling the duvets up to my chin and drifted into peaceful sleep.
I was dreaming about being on the beach with my babies, there was a handsome little boy who looked exactly like his father and then my beautiful baby girl looked like me. We were building sandcastles, eating ice cream whilst laughing and…..NO! Don't wake me up, I don't want to leave this dream; it's just too good. I was woken up, a smiling face above mine, Becky's. Damn it! Why couldn't I just finish this dream, someone up there really hates me, I thought as I looked to the sky. I groaned and leaned up on my elbows.
"What is it?"
"Nothing I'm just waking you up because we have your appointment in two hours"
"Urgh, couldn't you have woken me up later? I was in the middle of an amazing dream" I moaned and rolled out of bed.
"I'm sorry, what was it about anyway?"
"My babies" I replied, feeling a huge smile fill my sleepy face
"Oh really, what happened?"
"We were on the beach building sandcastles, eating ice cream and laughing; they're were to most beautiful babies I'd ever seen, my baby boy and baby girl"
"A boy and a girl!" she smiled and I nodded "Did they have names?"
"Unfortunately no"
"Do you know what you'll call them?"
"I have a few ideas, but I need to speak to Shane about them"
"Why, he broke your heart?"
"And I told him he could be apart of their lives"
"Fine, but what are they anyway?"
"Well if they're two boys I was thinking Sam Michael Collins and Mason James Collins"
"Where'd you get those names from?"
"Well Sam in Michael's grandfather, he was a good man but he died and few years ago, Michael is obviously from Michael and Mason, you know is my old best friend…you know before the one died that night in the fire and James is from Uncle James"
"Oh right, they're nice and what about if they're girls?"
"If they're two girls, then Molly Eve Collins and Alyssa Rose Maddison Collins. Molly was Shane's mum and Alyssa was his little sister's name"
"Was?"
"Yeh…Shane's…well he doesn't really have a family, theses babies are all he has left" I sighed and placed a hand on my stomach
"What happened?" she asked
"He got on the bad side of someone and they burnt his house down, he and his little sister were the only ones home, he'd fallen asleep and she was up in her room; he tried to get to her but he was dragged out…they couldn't get to her in time and she died. They left town and then his mum committed suicide but he thinks she was murdered too, his dad was an abusive drunk who hit him; when they finally got things back on track he was in a building when it collapsed and he died" I obviously had to change some of the smaller details because I couldn't exactly tell her that his dad was crushed by a zombie machine and that he was a vampire or that the vampires killed his mum because she remembered about the town"
"Wow! Poor guy now I know why he's so screwed up and wanting to see the babies…why does he think his mum was murdered?"
Shit! I shouldn't have mentioned that bit…think Claire think
"Umm…well all he thinks that the people who killed his sister came after them"
"But why? I mean it's understandable if she would um…kill herself after losing a child but why would they come after her?" god why couldn't I just keep my mouth closed!
"I dunno that's all he said" she nodded
"So what would you call them if it's a boy and a girl?"
"I'm not sure…we'll have to wait and see"
"You can't just say that and then leave me wondering!" I laughed
"Oh yes I can"
"You're so mean"
"I know but I'm family so you'll have to deal with it"
"Whatever just get ready, we'll get lunch before we go to the scan ok?"
"You do realise you don't actually have to ask, as long as food's involved I'll always be there"
"I know you will fatty"
"Hey, thanks for that; you really know how to bring a girls spirits down don't you" I moaned and pretended to look hurt
"CB I'm sorry you know I'm only joking" I carried on fake crying, but after taking a peak at her face I burst out loud; she actually believed I was really crying.
"Again, you are so mean"
"I know, it's a gift…so, Becky on a serious note now; does he still hate me?" I asked nervously not really wanting to hear the answer, she knew who I was talking to; I didn't even have to say his name.
"Claire you know he could never hate you, he's just…upset and jealous, he'll get over it soon; you just gotta give him time" I just nodded again
"Right, we'll finish talking when we're out; but now you need to get ready"
"Yes sir!" I saluted before laughing again
After she left I walked over to my closet and pulled out a baggy long top so I could hide the small bump that was showing through my skin tight vest top. I pulled out a pair of leggings and high heel ankle boots, I did a once over in the mirror and I have to say I looked good. For once I didn't look tired or scared or I wasn't running from the evil creatures of the night…I was just me, getting ready to go shopping with a friend not having to worry about being jumped and sucked dry, going to my first baby scan and being happy. I was calm and relaxed and I loved it. I picked up Ryan's jacket, he'd left it here from our first date, and I wrapped it around my body, picked my bag up from the floor and headed down the stairs. Ryan was at football practise so I wouldn't have to have that awkward conversation with him asking me if I was wearing his jacket. Becky looked up from the TV and Jack looked up from reading the paper.
"You look sexy!" Becky cried
Jack smiled "Is that Ryan's jacket"
"Yeh…so are you ready to go?"
"Yep, let me just get my jacket and we'll be off" she jumped up from the sofa and ran out of the room. Jack was still looking at me with a goofy smile on his face.
"What?"
"Nothing, it's just good to see you happy and smiling again" his smile dropped "When you were in hospital….it was…scary and we all hated seeing you like that, not knowing what was happening; you're like a little sister to me and I want you safe"
"Thanks…and hey, why does everyone see me as a little sister? The guys back in Morganville all said the same, everyone thinks I'm young; even the mayor of the town called me 'little Claire'! I hate everyone seeing me as young I'm 19! Just because I'm small it doesn't mean I'm young, I'm going to be a mum in 7 months and I was married! I'm not young!" I whispered the last bit; my cheeks were damp from my tears.
"Claire I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry, we all know you're not young, for one thing you're probably smarter than most 30 year old adults and you act for mature than most people your age, you always have…it's just everyone loves you Claire, you're one of the nicest people I've ever met and it's hard not to love you, that's why people say you're like a little sister to them…I'm sorry"
"Don't worry about it, I think I'm over reacting…stupid hormones; I'm all over the place these days, one minute I'll be as happy as Larry and the next I'm ready to kill…urgh, pregnancy is so annoying!" I groaned and wiped my eyes, while Jack laughed
"It might seem like that now but in 7 months time when you have you're beautiful babies, you'll know it was all worth it" he smiled
"I know"
There was silence for a minute until Becky came running back in with her car keys in her hand.