Over the next month I watch as Paul falls into a depression because of the band splitting and I can't even explain how much it hurts me to see him like this. After they had finished recording in early September we all three went up to the farm and now we're staying here for a little while, I don't even know how long.
Today we went back to London for Gabriel's appointment with his pediatrician and for my 4 month appointment today on the 6th. They both went well; Gabriel is gaining enough weight and he's healthy and developing at the right pace. Paul and I have such a happy little boy. He really does look a lot like Paul and he has a lot of dark brown hair now and his hazel eyes and chubby cheeks resemble Paul along with his hair. He hasn't said any words or taken any steps but he likes to bounce on somebody's lap and he's really such a joy to have. My appointment went good as well and the doctor said the baby's heartbeat sounded good and I told him i've been feeling the baby move not a whole lot. But the kicks are getting more prominent and the doctor said the baby has good activity then and it all is going good with the new baby. Paul and I decided to go back to the farm tomorrow morning and now we're both getting ready to go to a movie premiere together while Gabriel is spending time with Paul's family.
"Jackie love, are you ready?" I hear Paul call from downstairs.
"Yeah!" I call back and I meet Paul downstairs in a burnt red dress that goes down past my knees, is a little tight and is long sleeved to my elbows and shows no cleavage.
"How do I look?" I ask Paul as he's in a black suit with a bow tie and his long hair is pushed back like always and he's clean shaven.
"You look beautiful, like always." he says with a sweet smile and I smile back.
"Thanks, you look very handsome tonight." I say as I walk over to him as he shows a small smile and he leans down to give me a heartfelt kiss.
I appreciate this closeness as Paul hasn't been himself for the past few weeks because of the band splitting, which isn't official official, but Paul told me it's over, basically. He's been in bed a lot for sometimes half the day and we haven't really talked as much as usual, but he's been better the past few days. I just want him to get better and for me to see that beautiful, genuine smile of his on those perfect lips of his.
We go out to the car and shortly arrive at the buzzing building for the premiere and Paul takes my hand after we get out. My bump is obvious and visible but the press don't know and both Paul and I know they'd be asking questions about it tonight and I'm just apprehensive about talking to PR people as we have to walk a red carpet thing before going in, and talking to a few PR people.
"Do you think they'll ask a lot of questions?" I ask Paul as we slowly walk over.
"Maybe, I dunno. But knowing them they sometimes don't know how to not pry into my personal life and yours also, they're too damn nosy. You don't have to talk if you don't want to, love, but they'll probably ask you a few questions specifically." Paul answers as our hands are enlaced and I nod and we walk over and make our appearance. We both put on small, mostly fake smiles, as the snaps of dozens and dozens of cameras are heard and many voices as well. Paul waves a few times and we stop in front of a mostly polite looking, dark haired woman who must be from the press.
"Hi ,Mr. and Mrs. McCartney, I'm Kathy." she introduces herself and Paul and I give little hi's.
"How's the baby?" she asks referring to Gabriel and Paul answers.
"He's doing great, thanks, he's getting big." Paul replies and she nods and writes something down on her pad of paper. I exhale and look down to my feet that are clad in slightly uncomfortable black heels that I have no idea why I wore them.
"Jackie, what it's like being married to a Beatle?" she randomly asks me and Paul gives an encouraging smile.
"It's wonderful." I answer shyly and I feel Paul gently squeeze my hand.
"I have to ask the obvious question, are you two expecting again?" she finally asks what I was afraid she'd get to.
"Yes, we are." Paul simply says.
"Congratulations, when is it due? Do you have any names picked out?" the lady pries and Paul's friend Mal who showed up to accompany us and provide security hurries us along and we walk in and sit down in our seats. I huff and can't resist and I take off the buggy heels I'm wearing.
"Put yer shoes back on, yer feet smell like Martha for goodness' sake!" Paul jokes in a playful tone and I sigh.
"Oh hush up." I reply and he chuckles and places his hand on my exposed knee and rubs his thumb along my tan knee. The movie starts and it goes by slow as Paul talks a bit to Mal and we talk a little.
"You pick really boring movies, you know." I whisper to Paul as his warm hand still rests on my knee.
"Na ah, you just pick boring men to date." he replies sarcastically and I sigh and look back to the movie.
About halfway into the movie I feel the baby start to move and I kind of discreetly lay both my hands on my protruding stomach and I smile as I feel the baby move and make weak kicks. Paul looks to me and he furrows his brow at my odd smiling and I take his hand and lay it next to my left hand as the theatre is very dark. He smiles as the baby moves again and I smile at him.
The movie shortly finishes and we go back home and leave for the farm in the morning.
My baby bump grows bigger over the next month as we stay at the farm and it becomes our home for now as Paul doesn't want to be in London with what's going on with The Beatles and I don't mind. Paul stays in bed more, sometimes all day and I was left to take full care of Gabriel as my depressed husband drinks and stays in bed all day sleeping away his sorrows. I didn't try to pester him about the whiskey bottle in our bedroom and why he won't help me with Gabriel and chores because I learned my lesson when I first did it and Paul snapped at me. Of course he apologized afterwards but I know to just try to do my best but I'm lost with how to comfort him and make him feel better, other than making love to him which he seems to want to do a lot lately.
"Ya know, I heard the other day that now theres some new machine where you can find out the sex of the baby." Paul says as we lay in bed late at night and he was better today. Being outside with the animals and doing work outside, and seeming to get better, which words can't express how glad I am about that.
"Really?" I say as I lay on my side and so does Paul as his hand lays on my prominent baby bump.
"Apparently, but i dunno if it's really true and how effective it is tho." he says as he rubs my smooth belly and I nod and move my achey arm to under my pillow as I feel the baby kick under Paul's large hand. I watch as a happy grin plays across Paul's lips from the baby kicking and I smile at the sweet sight of him smiling in the first time in awhile.
AN: Thoughts...?